Authors: Bonnie Dee
Anna sashayed up to me in that gold dress that clung to every curve. I wanted to kiss her right there. Instead
, I handed her a drink.
She sipped it and stared after Dave.
“What was that? You were talking to
Dave
?” She said the name as if it were a disease.
“It’s
sort of a guy-bonding thing. I’ll explain later. Want to dance?”
Anna’s eyebrows shot up. Dancing was more her speed than mine. But I’d come a long way since our first date
, which had ended in disaster followed by seven minutes in heaven, and I wanted to show her that. We set our drinks on a table. I took her hand and twirled her out onto the dance floor.
Anna
I can admit now how nervous I was about that office party. I don’t think Jason ever guessed, but I was sweating plenty as we entered the lion’s den.
At home, we were golden. Ever since Jason had moved in with me, we’d gotten along amazingly well, few arguments and nothing that wasn’t resolved with a talk. But our relationship hadn’t been tested much outside that cocoon. Sure, I’d met Jason’s family, gone to their house for dinner, even taken his little sister, Katie, shopping one day, which was really fun since I’d never had a sister of my own. However, parading our relationship in front of my coworkers was a different matter entirely.
I’d like to be able to say by that point I was secure enough in my feelings for Jason that I didn’t care what anyone else thought about him or about us being together. The truth was, I still shuddered at the memory of the day he came to
Haggenstern and Lowe, determined to win me back, and made a scene. Everyone staring at the drama made me want to disappear into the floor. Unfortunately, I think I’m too much my mother’s daughter deep down. I like things status quo.
Anyway, i
t turned out I was anxious for no reason. The Christmas party went very well, and Jason made a good impression on everyone.
The best part was the dancing.
By that time, I’d relaxed enough to enjoy myself. The décor was beautiful, a fairy-tale fantasy of Christmas surrounding me. And he spun me around the floor with surprising skill.
“You’ve been practicing,” I said, breathless at the end of the first dance.
“A little. Enough to fake it.” He pulled me close against him, his chest rising and falling, the heat of his body surrounding me. He smelled like the cologne I’d bought him, a subtle woodsy scent that I swear contained pheromones. Desire stormed through me after a single whiff of him.
I looked up into those dark, dark eyes that had been the first thing about him to captivate me. “Thanks for coming tonight.”
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t have missed it. Especially meeting good old Dan.”
“Dave,” I automatically corrected.
Jason grinned as he shuffled back and forth, that delicious smile that made his eyes crinkle into mere slits.
“What?” I demanded.
“Take a look.” He nodded his head, and I followed his gaze to where Dave was talking to Cara McElroy. No. Not talking. Hitting on. His body was too close, invading her personal space, and the smarmy expression on his face—suffice to say I recognized it from when he’d tried to use one of his lines on me. The guy thought he had way more charm than he really did. But surprisingly, some women fell for it. I knew Cindy had.
Jason leaned close and whispered, “I told him I overheard her tell another woman she was hot for him.”
“And he believed you?”
“Guess I have an honest face.
”
I stole another look at Dave talking and McElroy’s confused expression
and actually witnessed the moment she realized he was hitting on her, as her icy coolness turned to disgust.
“Oh my God, he
so
deserves this. You have no idea,” I said. “The guy is such an ass. He should’ve been fired for sexual harassment by now, but he’s too good at his work. Mostly we all just ignore his come-ons.”
Nearly choking with laughter, I buried my face against Jason’s jacket.
I felt him laughing too as he swayed me across the dance floor.
The social event I’d worried about had turned out just fine, proving Jason and I could be a couple outside the comfort zone of our regular routine. I stopped thinking about horndog Dave and nestled into Jason’s arms.
The music was slow and sweet, and I was perfectly happy to be dancing with the man I loved. In that moment, I knew for a fact our life together was going to work out.
Chapter Two
Jason
I’d promised to help Rob Parkinson at his store the next day. Once my nemesis in the survivor’s group we both attended, the man with the personality of a disgruntled bear had surprisingly turned out to be a pretty good friend. Well, if not friend, then acquaintance I hung out with sometimes.
The forty-something former insurance salesman clung to the worst parts of eighties fashion
, from acid-washed denim to hair slicked straight back from his forehead and held in a tiny ponytail. Rob’s new hobby shop had ended up being much more successful than I’d expected. Due to the holiday season, he was extra busy, so I offered my services.
During a lull in the middle of the afternoon,
Rob hunched over his latest creation, a model of the
USS Colorado
, a circa WWII battleship, which I knew only because he’d told me about it in excruciating detail. I sipped a cup of coffee and stared out the window at the snow starting to choke the streets.
“
How’s Anna?” Rob asked out of the blue.
“Fine. She’s good.” I was
surprised. He didn’t usually ask me personal questions. His lack of social skills along with his anger-management issues may have had just a little to do with him losing his salesman job. “Why?”
He shrugged and
looked through a magnifying glass as he glued a tiny machine gun in place. “You going to ask her?”
“Ask her what?”
“You know. The big question.”
“What big… Oh.”
“You should. A woman like that you should try to hold on to.”
“We
’ve only been together a few months. Neither of us is thinking about…that.” I couldn’t even say the word, so it definitely wasn’t the right time.
And yet, now that Rob had planted the idea in my mind, it wouldn’t leave. Marriage. Or at least an engagement? Was it way too soon, or was Anna actually hoping
for a proposal? Would it be a grand gesture to do it on Christmas Eve?
“Anyway, since when are you a romantic?” I moved past
a large table, painted to resemble ocean waves, on which several meticulously constructed ships were displayed.
“I’m not. I’m a pragmatist
.” Rob set down the magnifying glass and peered at me with cool, piercing gray eyes. “Guy like you doesn’t have a ton of options in the romance department. Sorry. Not trying to be a dick, just being honest. I mean, you’re nice enough looking and your personality’s okay, I suppose, but you’ve got some issues that’d give most women pause.”
“
Thanks,” I said dryly.
“Point is
, you hit the jackpot with Anna, and you should stake your claim on that.”
“You’re right. You’re not a romantic
.”
He shrugged again and bent over the model.
“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t afford an engagement ring.”
Hell, it’d be years before I could afford a diamond, and my family wasn’t the sort that had a family
-heirloom ring I might be able to use. Was I seriously considering these things?
“Pawnshop
.” Rob jerked his thumb at the window. “There’s one just down the street, practically right across from the bus stop. You can get some amazing deals there.”
“If I was interested, which I’m not. Someday
, maybe.”
“It’s your call, but I figured if there was anybody who understood the importance of seizing the day, it’d be you.
People like you and me who’ve survived a life-threatening accident realize what it means to take advantage of every moment.” He indicated the shop around us. “I stopped worrying about saving my money for tomorrow and took a chance. Nobody thought it would pay off, but here I am.”
F
ollowing his surprisingly deep thought, a pair of customers entered the shop. Rob went to help the man and woman, who were shopping for a model airplane for their aviation-loving daughter.
I went to one of the display shelving units and straightened some boxes that didn’t really need straightening, but my mind wouldn’t stop buzzing about what Rob had suggested.
An engagement ring for Christmas Eve: cheesy and overblown, or incredibly romantic? Was I ready for that kind of commitment? Could I picture myself with Anna in an “ever after” sort of way?
I envisioned her the way I loved her best
—laughing, with a freedom and joyfulness that made her eyes sparkle and made me feel as if I’d won the lottery. She gave me so much happiness, I couldn’t imagine wanting any other kind of life besides one with her. I realized that for me it wasn’t at all too soon to think about a lifetime commitment.
But what about Anna
? If I actually did this thing, would she be pleased or dismayed? Would I be rushing her by asking the question? And what would her answer be?
Anna
“Are you bringing your
new friend to Christmas?” Even through the phone, I could hear my mother stress the word
friend
slightly, as if she couldn’t quite bring herself to believe I’d come to care for this man.
“Yes, my
boyfriend
, Jason, will be coming with me for the holidays.” I tried to suppress my annoyance, but a little seeped through in my voice. The pattern between my mom and me was too deeply entrenched, a sort of passive-aggressive dance we did whenever we spoke to each other.
“I presume you’ll be sharing a room?”
“Yes, Mom. Is that a problem?”
“Some of the
Green Bay relatives are staying at the house, so I’m figuring out the room situation.”
“Who all is coming?”
I asked.
“Aunt Patty and Uncle Jack are staying at a hotel, but your cousin
, Chloe, and her husband, Worthy—my God, what a name—and their two kids will be at our house. I guess they can’t afford a motel.”
“It’ll be good to see Chloe again. It’s been years
.” But I was thinking that the addition of four extra people, even in my parents’ spacious home, would add to Jason’s stress level. Bad enough he had to spend quality time with my parents, who’d barely been civil last time he’d met them.
“Is there anything special I need to know about Jason?”
she asked.
“
No, Mom! He’s not that different. He’s a normal person who happens to have some memory issues. Just be patient when he talks, because sometimes he has to hunt for words. Don’t make him feel uncomfortable, or I swear—”
“I meant
is he vegetarian? I’m going grocery shopping, and I need to be able to plan meals.”
“Oh.”
My righteousness deflated. So far my mother hadn’t said one negative thing about Jason. It was all me reading things into her tone that might not even be there.
“Anna
, I’m sorry to bring this up, but…”
I winced and waited for whatever negative
observation would follow. I knew it had been just a matter of time before her true feelings showed. “What, Mom?”
“
Please don’t bring that dog along. You know how I feel about animals in the house. They’re so destructive.”
Even as she said it,
my little terrier mix tore past me, chasing invisible rabbits around the apartment. Late afternoon was her wild time of day.
“No, Mom. I have a kennel lined up
for Baby.”
“All right
, then,” she said briskly. “Your father and I are looking forward to having you home for Christmas. Love you, dear.”
“Love you too,
Mom.”
I tried to feel it as I hung up the phone. Time and distance
should make it easier for me to forgive our past squabbles. I was an adult now, and it was time to forge a new relationship with my parents—my mom especially. Yet bringing Jason home had reduced me to reacting like a teenager again. I felt sulky and annoyed that their opinion mattered to me. I was worried about how Jason would hold up in an unfamiliar situation, and I hated myself for caring what sort of impression he made.
The afternoon was
getting late, thin light muffled by heavy snow barely illuminating the apartment. I went around turning on Christmas lights until a soft, colorful glow filled the living room.
Jason still wasn’t back from helping Rob at his store. Maybe he’d stopped to pick up milk and
dog food like I’d asked him to.
I lit a fragrant cinnamon
-and-spice candle, then went into the kitchen to put together something for dinner.