Noah (14 page)

That impending sensation is getting closer, reaching
higher and higher until that perfect moment where everything bursts
inside me. When Noah closes the distance between our lips and
touches his tongue with mine I detonate.

The intensity of what we shared is so strong as I
climax around him, sighing out his name in pure euphoria. He cries
out, "I love you," and my mouth catches the words as he comes
inside me.

I wrap my arms around his slick back and hold him
until I've milked him of every last drop of his cum. We continue to
embrace as our breathing settles and the intensity of the moment
slowly dies down. His hand slips away from my thigh and I drop my
foot to the ground as he pulls out of me. The evidence of him
inside me drips down my inner thigh.

"That was incredible." It sounds like there's gravel
in his vocal chords as his voice comes out husky...and sexy as
hell. I'm glad he's the first to speak and thinks the sex was
incredible, because I have no words to describe what just happened
between us. I've never felt anything this good before.

"Yeah, it was
,”
I agree, because incredible is a word I can go
with until I create a new one worthy of what this feels like. "What
do we do now?"

He leans forward and kisses me, forcing me to moan
against his mouth as I kiss him back. He's stirring an unquenchable
thirst for him with every kiss. I don
’
t think I'll ever get tired of the way his lips
feel against mine.

He breaks the kiss before it gets out of hand, and
then his beard brushes against my cheek as he whispers in my ear.
"Now we sleep, and I go to bed hoping this wasn't all a dream. I
want to wake up with you in my arms, and thank God that the real
thing was better than every fantasy I've ever had about you."

He moves away and crouches down until we're face to
face again and I kiss the tip of his nose. "That was the cheesiest
thing that's ever been said to me, yet somehow exactly what I
always wanted to hear you say."

His only response is a sly grin as he grabs my hand
and walks us over to the bed. I slide under the messy pile of
blankets and sheets and Noah climbs in after me. He lies down on
his back and pulls me on top of his body. I rest my head on his
chest and my right hand comes up to play with his chest hair, but
he captures it and entangles my fingers with his. We lie like this
for a long time, both of us afraid to fall asleep. I'm afraid that
when we wake up what happened tonight will be a regret in his
eyes.

What will happen tomorrow? Noah and I will have to
eventually talk about where we go from here. Every second of what
happened between us tonight was perfect and I don't regret it at
all, but I also know nothing is that simple. Having the best sex of
my life doesn't solve my problems.

I'm technically still with Caleb until I break up
with him in person. Then I'll have to find a place and move out, if
I can even find a place in New York City I can afford. Noah's not
going to let me continue working for Forbidden Desires, Inc. so my
income will drop dramatically.

And should I jump into a relationship with him at the
same time I'm ending one with Caleb? What will people think? They
won't understand. I'm the only one who knows how long I've had
these feeling for Noah, and if I tell people it will look like I
wasn't being fair to Caleb, like I was stringing him along this
entire time when that couldn't be further from the truth.

I gave up on Noah and was ready to start a life with
Caleb. I love Caleb. It may not be a love with the same intensity
and raw emotion as the love I have for Noah, but it's still love. I
was planning on spending the rest of my life with him until I read
those texts. I defended him and stood by him for so long, when my
friends thought I was being naive.

If it gets turned around and I'm portrayed as the
villain and Caleb the victim, I'll be wrenched with guilt. I don't
deserve to feel guilty because he's the asshole who cheated on me.
He's the one who didn't value our relationship enough to be
faithful.

"What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?"
Noah whispers
against
the top of my head, his chest vibrating with every word.

"Nothing," I sigh out.

"Don't lie to me, Skye. I can always tell when you're
lying."

Relaxing into his chest further I squeeze his hand
and ask, "What do we do about Caleb?"

"We don't do anything about Caleb. He's not worth
worrying over, not after what he did to you. I'll help you get your
stuff out of the apartment tomorrow. Please don't worry, Skye. He's
not worth it."

Kaya whimpers over in her corner of the room as she
sleeps on her doggy bed and it comforts me in a small way. Being in
Noah's arms with his dog sleeping the night away makes tonight feel
very domestic. Maybe Noah is the type of guy who could settle down.
Maybe it could all work out after I deal with Caleb.

I know Noah's right about Caleb and I shouldn't
worry, but I can't help
it
. I'm a worrier. As right as being with Noah
feels, in the morning it will feel differently. I jumped from
Caleb
’
s bed to Noah's
without a second thought. It can't be this quick and easy to get
the man I want.

Chapter Eight

That place between slumber and awake is the most
peaceful, beautiful moment when waking up. It's those brief seconds
in your life when everything is perfect and all your cares and
worries in the world are non-existent. I'm not a morning person but
I love those brief moments in the morning before I'm forced to wake
up and face the day ahead of me. It's the best part of waking
up.

Well,
it
was before today.

Today I didn't have a chance to bask in those few
brief moments of blissful serenity because I was woken up in an
entirely different state of bliss. Noah's head is between my legs
and his tongue is stroking me into a building orgasm as I
shamelessly grind against his face.

My first waking thoughts are
Sweet Jesus
and
Don't stop
and
This is what heaven must feel like
.

After he makes me come with a few more perfect
strokes, he's crawling up my body, lingering over my nipples when
he reaches my breasts. His mouth covers the erect tip, licking the
nub before feeding himself as much of my breast that can fit into
his mouth, then repeating this with my other breast.

My hands are everywhere–in his hair, on his chest,
digging into his back as I scrape my nails along his skin. I
squeeze his tight, firm ass and then he's grabbing the back of one
of my thighs and rais
es
it over his shoulder. My other leg is flat against the bed and he
begins to tease my pussy.

"You want it. You know you want it."

"I do," I pant. His engorged head is teasing my
opening and I can't handle the torture.

"Say the words. Say you want it."

"I want it. Give it to me...please." His cock sinks
inside me, filling me with
his
hard, thick length.

We make love slowly. Noah's eyes are closed this time
as we create a flawless friction with our bodies, slowly taking us
both to that euphoric place. His lips caress my neck with soft
kisses as he whispers against my skin, "I love you, Skye. I've
always loved you."

My head falls back against the bed, exposing more of
my neck as I arch my back in an attempt to get closer to him, but
it's not enough. My body wants to achieve a closeness that's
impossible between two people so I'll take being wrapped in his
arms as a consolation.

"I love you, Noah," I whimper back as my body
trembles around him in an earth-shattering orgasm. His orgasm
follows as he grunts something unintelligible and fills me with his
seed. We collapse in a tangled embrace and I fall back asleep
almost instantly. My body needs a few more hours of sleep to
replenish the energy I just exerted with Noah.

***

When I wake up a few hours later, the late morning
sun is shining into his apartment and I'm alone in Noah's large
bed. I look around the studio and he's nowhere to be seen. The only
door inside his place goes to the bathroom and it's wide open with
the lights off.

Where is he?

Lifting the sheets I look down at my naked body,
comforted knowing it wasn't all a dream. I didn't make it up. Last
night and early this morning were so perfect. Years of want and
desire were finally expressed so it wouldn't have surprised me if I
had imagined the entire thing. I'm glad I didn't.

Shifting off the bed
,
I hunt for my flannel pajama pants and when I find
them I slip them on. Instead of putting on the matching top that
was torn apart last night, I spot a crumpled gray shirt of Noah's
on the floor near his bed and put that on. Wearing his shirt feels
so...relationship-like. I'm not delusional. I know Noah and I
aren't in a relationship...yet, but it still feels nice to have a
piece of him with me right now.

I just wish I knew where he ran off
to
.

Do I stay here and wait for him, or should I go back
to the apartment and start packing my things up while Caleb is at
work? Today is the first morning in a long time I'm happy Caleb has
impossible hours and won't be
at
our place. I don't think I'm ready to face him
yet. This will be my first real breakup.

How do you end a relationship you invested six years
of your life to? Actually, the question should be how could Caleb
not respect me enough to break up with me before cheating on me
with some whore? I know men cheat. I've watched friends go through
this plenty of times, but I honestly thought I'd never go through
it with Caleb. I mean
,
I
gave him everything he wanted.

I gave up my nursing dreams for him and followed him
to New York. I supported him in every way possible while he was
going to
l
aw
s
chool
–helping him study, preparing meals for him,
and just being the emotional support he needed to get through it. I
cooked for him and cleaned our apartment.

Was it about sex? Was I not giving him enough? I
don't see how that could be possible because I've never turned him
down. I'm a pretty sexual woman and I love it just as much as he
does so it's not like Caleb wasn't getting enough of it from me. I
was the one constantly craving more. He probably just wanted
variety. Some men can't handle sleeping with one woman for the rest
of their lives.

It could have just been the timing. Maybe this was
the universe finally intervening and stopping me from making a huge
mistake with Caleb. If I'm being honest with myself
,
my heart has always been Noah's.
He may not have been what I wanted on paper, but the heart doesn't
make decisions based on what looks good. I've always known Noah's
the only one who could complete the part of me that's missing, so
in a weird twist of fate
,
Caleb cheating on me is actually a good thing
because it brought me to Noah. He's the man I should be with.

So, where the hell is he?

I start cleaning up the apartment because I much
rather go across the hall with Noah by my side than by myself. I
throw the bottles in the sink and toss my pajama top in the trash.
As I'm drawing the sheets up to the top of Noah's bed and folding
the blankets, a piece of paper drifts off the pillow and onto the
floor. When I pick it up
,
Noah's handwriting covers the top of the page.

Skye,

Had to go. I'll explain later. Stay as long as you
want.

–Noah

I flip it over to look at
the
back because surely this can't be all
he's left me, but the back of the paper is empty, just like his
heart.

He had to go. What does that mean? Where's the Noah
who was whispering I love you against my body this morning?

The Noah in this note is drastically different than
the man who was in this bed a few hours ago. Gone are the sweet,
romantic words passing his lips and in their place is this cold
morning after explanation. No confessions of love are written, no
afterglow thoughts expressed. He doesn't even say he'll miss me
while he's gone, or that he wishes we were waking up together. Just
a
Stay as long as you want
, like I'm some houseguest he
can't be bothered to entertain.

My mind goes places I shouldn't allow it to go, but I
let the doubt seep in.

The letter might have been left to stir the opposite
reaction out of me than how I'm handling it now. His words might
have been written to be inviting, but they're anything but.
Suddenly I'm uncomfortable being in his apartment. I shouldn't be
here. He doesn't seem to want me here anymore.

For all I know
,
last night and this morning was just a way to get
me out of his system. We've been in each other's lives forever. He
was probably just scratching an itch that's been there for a while.
He's a man, so of course he's probably thought about sleeping with
me before, but in a different way than I thought about sleeping
with him. I was longing to have that physical connection with him
and express how much I love him. He probably just wanted to finally
tap that.

His confessions of love felt real. When he said he
loved me it was the greatest moment of my life. Now I know he
probably meant it in the familial way, as a friend or a part of his
family. He didn't mean he was in love with me. If he was in love
with me he would have stayed with me in bed this morning, but
instead he left. He probably regrets crossing that line with me and
is unsure if this ruined our friendship so he got out of dodge to
avoid the awkward conversation altogether.