Authors: Amanda Heath
“A New York dog,
chilli cheese fries with jalapeños, and an ocean water.” she says beside me before I hear her dig around in her purse. I hear tapping on her phone before she speaks. “Quit looking at me like that. I’m fine, no need to kill him with your eyes. I want to be here so get over it, okay?” I automatically look at her but since she is on the phone I look across the store to see Marley with his beat up s10 sitting directly in front of us. Just great.
She hangs up and rolls her eyes as she places the phone back in her purse. “Don’t worry about him. He thinks he’s my father or something.”
That gets me thinking so I blurt out “Where is your dad?” I cringe because I could have delivered that a lot nicer, or not at all.
“My dad lives off this manmade lake in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. He writes all day every day. Ten out of his fifteen books are on the New York Times bestseller list. I don’t talk to him except for my birthday and Christmas. I haven’t seen him in a couple of years.” She shrugs her shoulders before meeting my eyes.
“That sucks.” I say quietly. And it does suck. I wish my dad was off somewhere, no where near my life.
“Y
ours is pretty fucked up too.” she whispers. I don’t know if she knows how right she is.
“Yeah. I walked in on him with his new wife.” I don’t know why I paused, maybe because this is what has made me the person I am today. “While he was still married to my mom. He tried to pay me off to not say anything, but I have always been more loyal to mom than him.” I take a deep breath and go on. “He was kind of abusive to my sister and me. It wasn’t bad all the time though. Mostly verbal, though he hit me once for bringing mud in the house.” Then I smile. “He’s a different person around Macy. That little girl changed him for the better. He still rides my ass but I don’t ever have to worry about him mistreating her.”
She is staring at me funny like she forgot something she really wanted to remember before she speaks. “That’s good to know. I’m super close to Macy. If someone was hurting her I think I might kill them.”
“You and me both.” The truck gets silent before I can’t take it anymore. “Want me to order now?”
She nods and looks out the passenger window. I hit the red button on the menu and tell the girl our order. I have to admit what she is getting is strange. Seems like heartburn central.
Creed stops by like I figured he would and we talk for a minute before I tell him with my eyes to get lost. He chuckles and goes back to his own date. Norma and I talk some while eating. I found out she loves snakes and spiders equally. Her mom doesn’t like spiders at all so her grandma lets her keep her hairy black tarantula at her house. She named it Daisy.
I tell her I won’t be anywhere near that thing but she informs me if I really want her then I have to pass her Daisy test. This turns out to be something I didn’t know. “Her bite hurts but she can’t kill you. She is really sweet and likes to walk around in the palm of your hand. She hates Marley and bites him. So that is my test, if she bites you then I can’t see you anymore.” She winks and I hope she is kidding. I may be a dude but I am scared to death of spiders…and snakes.
I tell her about basketball and how I don’t have to feel anything while playing. I just concentrate on getting the ball from one side to the other and into the net. I don’t care about the points or being any good at it. It’s the same with any sport, where most guys with any talent want to be a big superstar, I just play for what it gives me. A little bit of peace.
There is a tiny movie theater in the middle of town that shows two movies at any given time. They are about 5 years behind, so there is never anything new here. Norma picks an old zombie flick I’m sure I have seen before. After the movie starts, I place my arm on the back of her chair and about half way through she lays her head on my shoulder. So feeling bold I curl my arm around her small body and I feel her shiver. Which makes me smile and feel ten feet tall.
The movie ends way too soon for me, but at least I get to kiss her goodnight. I feel sad when we reach her house, but I let it go. I tell myself I’ll get to see her again, I’ll get to hear her voice when she laughs, I’ll get to feel this skin under my hands, and I’ll get to make her smile some more.
After parking I get out and race to open her door for her. She laughs at me when I get there but I only grin. I pull her out of the truck and shut the door. Before she can move towards her house, I gently push her against the side. I feel the cold metal on the palm of my hands as I cage her in. I nuzzle my nose against her neck and she gasps. “Will you let me take you out again tomorrow?” I say very softly.
I place tiny kisses against her pomegranate scented skin. God I love that smell. She shivers when I get to her ear and she lets out a “Yes.” I reward her with a flick of my tongue against it and she moans.
I make my way over to her lips and capture them. Her hands are moving around my waist and under my shirt. Her fingers are like fire against my skin and I can’t help but to jerk at the touch. I force her lips open so I can tangle my tongue with hers. I move my hands off of the truck and down to her bottom lifting her up against me. I groan when I feel her heat against my groin and I think my eyes roll into the back of my head.
She wraps her legs around me and I move my hands up her body to her hair. I can’t go home tonight without sifting my fingers through the gorgeous locks. Her arms are around my neck now, her nails are digging into my skin.
Figuring that is enough for tonight, I set her down and step away. I don’t know what it is about her but I always end up losing my mind. “Goodnight smalls.” I whisper against her forehead.
“Goodnight big foot.”
I watch her go into her house as I start my truck and back out of the driveway.
Best date ever.
Chapter 5
2 months later
Norma
The past couple of months I have called myself Chance’s girlfriend. On the outside anyway. On the inside I’m his destroyer. He is like an open book the way his emotions play across his face and show in his eyes. He is almost right where I want him. I’m just waiting on him to tell me, then I’ll crush him. Just like a bug under my shoe.
Though it’s been hard to keep my emotions neutral. I find myself reading my diary from when I was 12, and seeing all the things he did to me makes me harden my heart. I won’t let him in. If I can make him feel even one iota of what he did to me, my job here is done.
And when I say it has been hard, it has been hard. The boy really doesn’t say much but his actions are more powerful than words. For instance at least once a week I find a single red rose on my car. No note or anything just the flower, but I know it’s him.
I haven’t had to call Marley to get me a pack of smokes in months. Chance shows up with a pack right when I’m about to run out. Without me even asking. He holds my hand everywhere we go, almost like he can’t stop from touching me even a little bit. It’s very endearing.
We fool around a lot but he knows I’m not ready for that. And even though he would rather be at his house on the weekends with me, he stays at Creeds. He still hangs out with Macy and I, but when it’s time to sleep he leaves.
I swear he is the only 18 year old gentleman I have ever met. He opens every door for me and kisses me on the cheek whenever he hasn’t seen me in a while. If things get to heavy when we are making out, he doesn’t push me, he calmly backs off. He doesn’t cuss around me either, which I find funny because I have the mouth of a sailor.
The gossip at school was pretty bad at first. From I was paying him to date me to he knocked me up after a one night stand. Which they should have known wasn’t true. Every girl he has dated could tell you they didn’t have sex. My personal favorite was that our parents were making us. Which I find so funny because I’m known for doing whatever the hell I want. This isn’t the olden days when people had arranged marriages. I swear teenagers are dumb.
Chance asked me to prom about three weeks ago, I wanted to say no, but for this to work I had to play the girlfriend roll right. I had to wear a sexy dress and bring him to his knees. I was just worried w
here in the hell I was going to get a dress since I didn’t have any money for one. Bring in my dad, who I’m sure my mom called, and he told me to get whatever I wanted. So I found this little black one. It is strapless and falls to about an inch above my knee. It has this sparkly chiffon on the skirt, which kind of poofs out. It fits like a glove and shows off all the curves I didn’t know I had.
I also got a pair of six inch white heels and a long strand of pearls that tie together right above my breasts and fall to my waist. Mom even talked me into a tiara. It’s also black and sparkly. I have to say I feel pretty hot.
Now that prom is tonight, I’m worried I won’t get him to say it before graduation tomorrow. We haven’t talked about where our relationship will go after that. I told him I wasn’t going to college and he believed me. Which isn’t true, I’ll be going to college. Just not anywhere near him.
He got into the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville. Which is hours away from where I’m going. I don’t like to talk about the future of our relationship to him, but that’s because we won’t have one. No need for him to know that. He just thinks I have commitment issues. Which is true to a point. Why would I be with anyone long term who I already know is verbally abusive? I’m not an idiot.
Besides long term scares the shit out of me. Marriage is a prison sentence for sure. I want to be free and live happy. Not be tied down to one man for the rest of my life and raise his kids. I don’t think I have ever been the marrying type. My independence is what drives me. I don’t need anybody.
“Norma! Chance is here!” my mother screams from the living room. This trailer is tiny and the walls are thin, there is no need for her to yell. Jesus.
I take one last look at my dress and shoes. My hair falls around my shoulders in loose curls that I know Chance loves. My makeup is subtle and sexy. My eyes are outlined in black and I put on extra mascara. My lip gloss is clear and my cheeks are lightly blushed. I sigh and head out of the bathroom.
When I make it into the living room, my breath leaves me. His suit is tailored to fit him and boy does it fit him. I can see the outline of his thighs through those black pants when he moves. His jacket is also black and fits perfectly around his shoulders. His shirt is also black and he has a white bow tie.
Good lord we match. I’m staring at him for so long my mom clears her throat. I lift my head up to her and she giggles. My cheeks heat as I look back at Chance. His eyes are heated making the green in his eyes pop out. The caramel swirls around and I clutch my hand on the wall so I don’t run over there and have my way with him.
He tied his hair back which I hate, but he wanted to look nice for pictures. His full lips are in a half smile. I can’t help but to bite my lip as heat flares between my legs. The sexual tension in the room is over whelming and I don’t even know if I can touch him without trying to bang his brains out.
“Norma put your gloves on and stand next to Chance. I want lots of pictures!” my mother exclaims and I cringe at the thought of her seeing us like this. I know Chance and he wouldn’t put a hand out of place, but I’m worried about me.
I sort of stumble to my couch to pick up my white gloves that come up to my elbows. This was my mom’s idea, not mine. I walk steady over to Chance and he wraps his big strong arms around my waist and kisses my cheek. His mouth ends up near my ear and he whispers “You look so fucking beautiful.” I can’t help but shudder. Chance just said fuck around me. Oh lord, it’s a heady feeling to have that kind of power over him. It’s not every day the boy loses his manners.
“Thank you,” I say as I kiss cheek and he smiles down at me. The camera starts clicking and I startle forgetting everything but Chance.
Mom makes us pose for what feels like an hour. I even had to get out Rydstorm because she wanted him to be a part of the fun. Sometimes I think she loves him more than me. It was about twenty minutes when I checked my phone after I was placed very nicely in Chance’s truck.
He climbs in and before I can even say anything, he puts his hand on my thigh and scoots me over to him. His lips find my neck as his hand stays on my thigh clenching and unclenching around the muscle. I sigh into his mouth, forever thankful that I got to hold Chance Duncan in the palm of my hand for even a little while.
Speaking of palming, I guess my hands have a mind of their own as one goes up to his shoulder and the other slides over his thigh and up to his groin. My breath catches as I find how excited he is. I admit I haven’t ever gone this far before. I could never work up the nerve to actually touch his most private area and I have to say I shouldn’t have waited so long.
He groans long and deep into my mouth as his hand moves from my thigh to under my dress. The trail of fire across my skin has me panting as he gets closer and closer to the place I want him most.
Uncomfortable I decide to climb up into his lap so he can reach the heat between my legs easier. When I move I guess he breaks out of the spell we are in when we make out. It’s like there is no one else in the world but Chance and his lips. His hands. His body.