Authors: Amanda Heath
So here I am sitting in this hotel bed with the white sheets around my waist and one arm crossed over my breasts. While Chance lounges around with his arms behind his head and his perfect body mostly on display. His face is satisfied and lazy. The joy radiating out of him is almost more than I can bare. How could I have decided to destroy him? That puts me right up there with his father. He doesn’t deserve what I wanted to do to him.
“I love you big foot.” I whisper. He deserves my love, not my revenge. The boy who deserves that doesn’t exist anymore. I’m happy I opened my eyes before I did anything stupid.
He sits up so fast I’m pretty sure he pulled something. The smile on his face is contagious and I find myself looking into his beautiful hazel eyes and returning that smile. “I love you too, smalls.” he whispers before crushing his lips against mine. It’s sweet and heartwarming. I never want to let it go.
*****
When I open my eyes early the next morning, I feel this overwhelming sense of peace. I’m happy for the first time I think since I was a little girl. Chance is spooned against my back and his arm is resting over my hip. His hand is curved around my other hip and I feel safe.
“Morning.” h
e whispers into my ear, kissing the shell.
“Morning.” I say back as I roll over to face him.
My heart stops as I take in his rumpled hair and sleepy eyes. Stubble appears on his face but it does nothing to hide the lazy grin he throws my way as he leans in to kiss my lips softly. Tingles shoot all over my body and I bite my lip when he pulls away. “We have to get going.” he says almost wistful.
“I know.” And I sigh because I want to stay with him here forever. I kiss his cheek before getting up out of the bed. The place between my legs is sore, in a good way though. I only hope I don’t walk around funny. That would be news worthy “Local high school graduate, who just lost virginity, limps as she walks across the stage to accept diploma.”
“You okay?” he asks as he watches me walk funny across the room.
“Yeah. Just sore. I’ll take a bath when I get home. It should help.” I grin at him and pick up my dress from beside the bed on the floor.
“Okay.” He rises then and I have this need to push him back on that bed and take full advantage of that body. His muscles ripple with his movements and the tingle is back. All that fine piece of man is mine. No one else’s. I can’t even believe it.
It also has the strange effect on me that no one else has seen him like this. Just me. Yeah I f
reaking love it. “Your phone.” he says breaking into my staring.
I guess I didn’t hear it going off staring at him like that. I take a peek at his face and yup he
’s looking really cocky. “Shut up.” I say laughing and picking up my phone.
It’s my mom probably wondering where the hell I am. “What’s up?” I asks as I cradle the phone to my ear and pull the zipper on my dress.
“Did you have fun? I hope not too much fun. I don’t want to be a grandmother at 34.” She says it teasingly but if she only knew. Luckily Chance isn’t retarded and used a condom. Not that I would let him anywhere near my vagina without one.
“Yes I had fun. And no not too much fun. We are fixing to leave so I’ll see you in little bit.” I pick my shoes up and sit on the end of the bed to put them on.
“Okay hurry. Your dad is here and wants to take you out for breakfast.” My shoes make a thumping noise as they hit the ground. I didn’t even realize I dropped them.
“You asked him to come?” I can’t believe that she would do that. Now I have to play nice with the man who donated his sperm for my creation. Joy.
“No, he showed up about 30 minutes ago. Your Grammy told him. She knew we wouldn’t invite him.” Damn Grammy. That woman is always in other people’s business. She shouldn’t have invited him, he did knock up her youngest child at 16 and then barely paid attention to me or my mother.
“Well I shall have a nice word with Grammy.” I hang up the phone and fall back onto the bed.
Chance appears over me a few seconds later and smirks at me, “Your dad?” I used to hate the way he would talk in uncompleted sentences but it has grown on me. Makes him seem kind of like a caveman.
“Yeah, he’s here and wants to take me to breakfast. My Grammy told him about graduation.” I kiss his cheek and push him out of the way. I finish putting on my shoes and dig a ponytail holder out of my handbag. I try and tame the locks into a messy bun but I know it’s a lost cause.
“I’ll go.” he says as he takes my hand. “If you want.” I notice now that he has on his shirt and pants but the jacket and bowtie are in his other hand.
“No, you should spend it with your mom and Macy. It’s a big day for everyone.” He nods and looks a little disappointed.
We walk out of the hotel and to his truck. He as usual opens my door for me and I kiss his cheek. I can’t believe how sweet and gentlemanly he is sometimes.
The ride back to my house is quiet but I enjoy it. We are like that most of the time. Though I sit pressed up against him and his hand is on my thigh. When we arrive at my house there is a black Dodge Avenger sitting next to my Cobalt and behind my mom’s Corolla. Yay daddy dearest.
Chance and I kiss before I get out of the truck and head into my house. The second my mom sees me I think she might faint. “What?” I ask quietly looking around for my dad.
“You look different. That’s
all. Something I should know?” She questions with an eyebrow raised.
“Not that I know of. Where’s dad?” she points towards her room and I think I might throw up.
“It’s not like that, Norma Jean! He is using my bathroom. Jesus.” She is quick to get out. I calm my stomach and shudder trying to get that image out of my head.
“Good. I’m going to go get a shower.” I walk back to my room, grab the clothes I have picked out for graduation and head into the bathroom.
When I’m all ready, I step into the living and take in my dad who I haven’t seen in years. His dark hair is cut short to his head and his green eyes are intense as he takes me in too. “Hello Norma.”
“Dad.” The silence that falls after that is weird because Mom and
him keep giving each other looks. I don’t even want to go down that road. “Can we get going? I’m starving.”
“Sure.” h
e says as he walks towards the front door.
Mom and I follow and we all pile into his car. The man doesn’t go anywhere so I don’t know why he needs this kind of car. It’s flashy but subtle if that makes sense. I hate it honestly, I feel like we are part of the secret service as dark as the tinted windows are.
He drives to a small mom and pop place that serves all kinds of things, including 24 hour breakfast. When we are seated, I look over the menu and surprisingly dad and I order the same shit. Scrambled eggs, baked potato, and cheese burger. Well I guess that is where I get my quirky stomach.
“So are you excited to be going to OBU?” my dad asks. OBU or Ouachita Baptist University which is located about 2 hours from here and only 30 minutes from my dad’s house. The only reason my mom let me go there. I don’t see why seeing as he’s not the best father.
I believe in God and everything, but I’m not overly religious. Dad said he would pay for me to go to college if he got to pick where I went. He picked OBU. His alma mater. “Sure. It’s a school and I’ll have to do school work and shit. Sounds like so much fun. Plus I have to go to mandatory chapel every Tuesday. Fun.” I fist pump the air to go along with my sarcasm.
“No need to have such a negative attitude about it, Norma. You’ll like it, I promise. Or I wouldn’t have sent you there.” He shovels some food into his mouth after speaking and I find we are more alike than I thought. Well in table manners that is.
“Sure dad.” is all I reply.
When we finish eating, we head over to the high school where they are throwing the ceremony. The thing goes by fast considering. I hate sitting around all these people and waiting for them to call my name but it was nice to see Chance walk across the stage. He looks so happy and carefree. I’m glad I didn’t ruin it for him.
Afterwards I’m heading over to congratulate him when Creed Donovan steps into my path. “You think you’re the only one? I like you a lot Norma, so I have to tell you the truth. Chance wasn’t a virgin. He doesn’t love you either. He was just trying to make up for some karma. He has actually been sleeping with my girlfriend Tess. I just found this out myself.” His words make me hurt. I don’t want to believe him but Creed has known Chance way longer than I have.
It doesn’t help that Tess is at this moment kissing Chance on the cheek and he is looking at her like he looks at me.
Chance
Tess’s kiss on the cheek was a little strange…and forward. I haven’t really ever talked to her before, so when she came over to say congratulation
s I was a little stunned. Creed gets a little possessive with his girlfriends, so I don’t really get to spend any time with them.
“Um thanks? I have to get going.” I stammer out and turn away scanning the crowd for Norma. I think I see her black hair over where I see Creed but people move in my way and she isn’t there.
“Have you seen Norma?” I ask when I get to his side.
“Nope. Maybe she is with her parents?” he moves his head around like he is looking for her. I scan the crowd myself but I don’t see any of them.
I do spot my mom and Macy. “Mom and Macy are over there. Gonna go.” I wave bye to him and make my way over to my family.
“I’m so proud of you Chance. You have become an amazing man.”
She one arm hugs me and kisses my cheek. I flush at her praise and take Macy out of her arms to do something with my hands.
“Thanks.” She tells me things like this all the time. I think it’s to make up for all the negative crap my dad has told me. Speaking of which here he comes with the new wife. They have been married for a while but I still call her new. I doubt she lasts much longer anyway.
“Good job son. Never thought I would see the day you’d graduate from high school. Now let’s see if we can get your dumb ass through college.” He stops in front of me and I’m so fucking glad I’m holding Macy. The man could use a punch to the face. “Come here Macy. Pop pop hasn’t seen you in days!” he exclaims to Macy. She giggles at him and reaches her arms out for the man.
Dad takes her into his arms and looks over at mom. “Stacy.” He nods hello. We should get going soon. They never last long around each other before insults get thrown around. Mary Beth looks nervous, which I don’t blame her at all.
“Mike.” Mom says icily. I hold back a laugh as she glares down Mary Beth. “I see you brought your wife. It wasn’t long ago she was doing the same thing, was it?” she asks innocently.
I roll my eyes and tune them out. I keep looking over every face I see trying to find my Norma Jean. There is no sign of her anywhere. It’s starting to make me anxious because she said she would meet me after the ceremony. I pull my phone out of my pocket to see if maybe she had to leave. I know her dad was here so maybe they wanted to do something together.
When I see nothing on the screen my stomach drops. Why would she just leave? “Mom. I’m going to get out of here.” I nod at her stepping away.
“Where are you going boy? I thought we could
all go out to lunch together.” my dad says to my turned back.
“I’d rather die.” I reply under my breath.
I turn around and he takes a step towards me with anger in his eyes. “What did you say boy?”
“I have to find Norma.” I tell him. He narrows his eyes like he knows that isn’t what I said but lets it go. “Besides, I’m not hungry.”
He kisses Macy on the cheek before giving her to mom. He steps closer to me and takes something out of his pocket. “Well here’s your graduation present.” He slips the envelope in my hand and turns to usher Mary Beth away.
“Thank God. I thought I might have to eat with
them
.” She says them in a weird voice, which Macy finds funny and giggles. “You think grandma is funny do you? Well I think we need to get to the house and take a nap. Don’t you?” Macy stops giggling and gets tears in her eyes. “No none of that baby girl. Grandma will take one with you! We will see you later at the house Chance.” She kisses my cheek and squeezes my shoulder. “Have fun with Norma!” she calls over her shoulder.
I search the whole place for her and even send her a couple of texts that go unanswered. I finally decide to head to her house. When I get there I had no idea that my life would be ruined. That I would lose myself there. Only never to find it again.
Her mom answers the door after I knock and shakes her head when I ask if Norma is there. “I have something for you though.” She turns away from the door and comes back with a book. “She told me to give this to you. Said you would find the things you need to know.”
Before I can question her anymore, she shuts and locks the door. Totally freaked the hell out, I return to my truck and climb in. I look at the book, it’s a diary. Norma’s name is stenciled across the top in pretty script. It looks like it has seen better days.
Taking a deep breath I open to the first page.