Not Enough: Is love ever enough? (The Enough Series Book 1) (8 page)

Club Blue is
an exclusive nightclub that always has a line around the block and tonight is
no different. Luckily, Bode knows the owner and we are able to skip the line
and walk right in to a VIP area.

The club pays homage to its name decorated to the hilt in blue.
The walls are designed to appear icy and the lights like icicles. There is a
permanent flow of smoke flowing along the floor and the bars sit like mock glaciers
in the sea. It is truly like walking into another world, one that reeks of
exclusivity and money.

We take a seat at our table on the second floor. This floor
is strictly for VIP guests and affords us some privacy. Kami, our waitress for
the night, clad in nothing more than white triangles covering her business
comes to take our order. Bode orders vodka seven for me and tequila for himself.

Kami makes sure to give Bode an eyeful before sashaying off
after our drinks. I don’t know why but it pisses me off that she has the nerve to
flirt with him right in front of me. It is not as if she knows we are only
friends. After Kami drops off our drinks, I decide to forget about her boldness
and focus on the task I came here for.

Taking a big sip, I see Bode’s eyes go wide. “Looks like he
is willing to speak to you,” he spits out while nodding at something behind me.

A familiar hand squeezes my shoulder and I turn to find Ryan
standing over me.
Oh, shit what was I thinking.
Ryan is still good-looking
but not as gorgeous as I once thought.

He is tall with sleek black hair and dark green eyes. His
broad shoulders and powerful stance are giving off an intimidating vibe, one I
do not intend to succumb to. He is wearing one of the expensive suits he considers
mandatory when leaving the house. I honestly think it makes him look like a
pompous ass.

I glance back at Bode who gives me a subtle nod before
standing up to face the demon of my past. Bode moves to stand behind me as Ryan
puts a hand on my arm. “Rylee Ash,” he draws my name out, “I was beginning to believe
I would never lay eyes on your beautiful face again.”

I remove the uncomfortable touch of his hand from my arm. “Ryan.
How are you,” I ask curtly.

He flashes a sly grin, “Well Ryles, I am better now that you
are here.” I have always hated that nickname and no one other than Ryan has
ever used it.

I take a step backwards into Bode a move that clearly
irritates Ryan. Bode places a protective hand on my waist as he addresses Ryan,
“Is there something you need here Ryan?”

Ryan lets out a creepy chuckle, “Yeah, there is something I
need. I want my girl back.”

Bode tenses up behind me so, I interject. “Ryan I stopped
being your girl the second you stood me up. Which, by the way, was a shitty
thing to do. Leaving me was one thing but to take the coward’s way out was just
low.”

The smile drops from Ryan’s face. “I fucked up Ryles,” he
says with a hint of sincerity.

“Why Ryan,” I ask before I lose my nerve. My hands are
trembling and my stomach begins churning. Thank goodness, I didn’t eat or I
would fear is reappearing now.

He looks at me with a hint of sadness in his eyes. “Ryles,
let’s go somewhere and talk just you and me.”

Anger takes hold of me when he reaches for me. “No Ryan, just
tell me why, so I can walk out of here free of you. And stop fucking calling me
that.”

Shock registers on his face before his famous temper begins
to flare. “Free of me? What the hell does that mean? I know you aren’t with
this trash,” he says motioning towards Bode. “I saw the pictures of you with
Austin Black from last night. You two looked very cozy. Or do you just give it
up for anyone now?”
 

The tension in the air has become thick and Bode is now a
solid wall of fury. I lean back into him hoping to stop the fight I imagine is
inevitable. Tears begin to sting my eyes as I register the hateful words Ryan
has spewed.

“Fuck you Ryan, you have no right. What I do or don’t do is
no business of yours. You gave that up when you stood me up at our rehearsal
dinner,” I scream at him. I am suddenly thankful for the loud music pouring
through the sound system. I cannot believe after four years I still give a damn
what he has to say or what he thinks of me, but I do.

Not having unleashed all of my rage, I continue, “And for
your information I have not given it up to anyone since you. Hell Ryan, I
haven't even been on a date since the night you walked out on me. You see, when
you walked away, you reinforced the idea that I am not good enough. You know
the idea my parents drove into my head repeatedly. It seems that anyone,
besides Jeremy, I allow myself to love comes to the same conclusion I. AM. NOT.
GOOD. ENOUGH. So, before you go all high and mighty spewing bullshit, at me or
Bode, maybe you should take a step back and check out the damage you caused. The
worst part is you knew. You were the only person besides J that ever knew how
my parents treated us and the damage they caused.”  

Shock fills the air around us after my admission. Ryan's face
has fallen and his posture is weakened. Bode wraps his arms around me and is
holding me up as my knees go weak. My anger gives way to tears and exhaustion.
My heart is beating out of my chest and I become overwhelmingly dizzy.

Ryan takes a calculated step towards me with a face full of
concern just before my vision begins to blur and my world goes black. I come to
a few minutes later laying on the bench of a booth with Bode standing over me
in panic mode. My head is foggy, but otherwise I feel fine.

Bode is arguing with Ryan. I hear him say, “Get the fuck away
from her. Don't you think you have caused enough trouble? She's unconscious for
God's sake.”

Ryan snaps back, “I just want to make sure she is ok, I have
never stopped caring about Ryles. Shit Bode, you know that.” I find that funny
as I try to sit up. I am curious as to how Bode should know that though.

Bode takes a step towards Ryan. “Don't you try to put any of
that shit on me. J and I did what was best for Ry,” he states as he pushes
Ryan.

To cut through the tension and prevent a fistfight I mumble, “Bode,
would you please get me some water?”

He immediately does an about face, walks away from Ryan, and
comes to my side. “Jesus baby girl are you ok,” he asks, as he looks me over.

“Bode, I am fine I just got a little over excited.”

Ryan is pacing back and forth when the paramedics come up the
stairs. He takes a seat at a nearby table looking as flustered as I have ever
seen him. I really wish he would just leave. He may not have told me why, but I
said all I have to say to him. I am done.

The medics check my vitals and ask what happened. I explain
and they decide a doctor should check me out. Still being light headed and
completely overwhelmed I agree. Bode rides in the ambulance with me where I
lose consciousness again.

I wake up in
the sterile confines of the hospital with a nurse tending to the IV in my arm.
The room is cold and white. There is one picture of a beach on the wall and a
television mounted in front of my bed.

My nurse, Edie, notices I am awake. “Well, darling it looks
like you needed some rest.” I give her a small smile while looking around the
room.

“Where is Bode,” I ask her hoping he is close.

“Don’t worry honey he is here, I made him take his phone call
outside so he wouldn’t wake you.” I don’t need to guess who he is on the phone with;
I would bet it is my big brother.

Edie tells me to rest and that the doctor will be by shortly.
I thank her and as she exits the room, Bode enters. He looks like hell. His
hair is a mess and I can tell he has been running his hands through it,
repeatedly from the looks of it. His clothes are wrinkled and his demeanor somber.

He looks down at me upon fully entering the room, “Rylee,
Rylee, Rylee you sweetheart scared the shit out of me.” I hold my hand out
inviting him to come to me. He takes my hand and sits down in the faded blue
chair next to my bed.

“Bode I am so sorry for all this,” I say feeling horrible at
what I have put him through.

“Don’t be sorry Ry. Get some sleep so this doesn’t happen
again.”

Then I realize I don’t know what happened other than I passed
out at Club Blue while confronting Ryan. “What happened, Bode? How long was I
out?”

He takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his hair. “You
passed out at the club and again on the way to the hospital. You have been
asleep for about six hours. The longest six hours of my life I might add,” he
says with a smirk. “The doctor says you are dehydrated and exhaustion over took
your body when the adrenaline wore off.”

I suddenly feel so stupid. I knew I was tired. I haven’t
slept more than a few hours in the past two and a half days, and basically all
I drank was alcohol related.

“Gees Bode I am so sorry. I guess you called J,” I ask
already knowing the answer.

“Yeah, I have spoken to him every hour. I even talked to
Austin a little while ago. They are worried, but I assured them you are ok so
they haven’t hopped on a plane yet. You may want to call and reassure them soon
though.”

I sit up and pull Bode into a hug. “Thank you, I don’t know
what I would have done if you weren’t here. I guess you and Jeremy were right
on this one.” For that, he gives me a big smile and a wink.

The doctor comes in a few minutes later and recaps the story
Bode told me. However, he adds that I should take it easy for a few days and
try to avoid stressful situations. He said this is not uncommon and really
isn’t something to worry about unless it occurs frequently. Finally, he tells
me that I can go home in the morning. That is technically only a couple of
hours from now. I thank him for everything.

Once the doctor is clear of the room, I talk Bode into giving
me my phone and I find a bevy of missed calls and texts from Austin and Jeremy.
I skip those for now and dial my big brother even though it is before dawn at
home. Surprisingly, he picks up on the first ring:

“Rylee?”

“Hey J. Sorry if I woke you up.”

“No worries baby girl I am happy to hear your voice. How are
you feeling?”

“I’m ok J, a little tired but ok.”

“Well, I guess that is to be expected. I don’t want to keep
you. Go get some rest and call me when you can.”

“J, I am sorry for all this. I am glad you sent Bode though.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Ry. Well you will if you
don’t call Austin and get him off my back,” he chuckles. “I am not sure which
one of us was more worried.”

“I will thank you J. Love you big bro.”

“I love you too sis, take care of yourself and call me in the
morning. Good night.”

Once we hang up, I see Bode is wiped out so I suggest he go
lay down for a bit. He fights me at first but finally gives in knowing that I
am safe in the confines of the hospital.

After Bode leaves, I pick up my phone again and consider
calling Austin. I would hate to wake him up, but I also ache to talk to him. This
night has been shitty, and his voice will give me a little happiness. Deciding
he would probably be mad if he found out I even considered not calling I hit
call. It rings several times before that sexy voice answers.

“Ry, baby, is that you? Are you ok?”

“Hey Aus, I wasn’t sure whether to call. I didn’t want to
wake you up.”   

“Oh baby, it is so good to hear your voice. I’ve been going
out of my mind worrying about you,” he says with genuine anguish in his voice.

“I’m so sorry for worrying you, but I am fine. Apparently a
little dehydrated and tired but otherwise ok.”

“Ry, I um,” he pauses. It sounds like he is trying to find
the words, “Ry, I have a million things I want to ask and a million more I want
to say. But, I uh, right now I am just glad you are ok.” His voice cracks and
breaks my heart.

“Austin,” I wait for his breathing to slow and my eyes begin
to water. “Austin, I realize this is a lot and I wouldn’t blame you for walking
away.” My heart shatters as the words leave my mouth, but I want him to be
happy.

“Rylee, no, I don’t want to walk away. I am dying being this
far away from you. I want to be there for you. I want to be the one taking care
of you. Rylee I am in,” I stop him before he can finish the statement.

“I know Aus, I do. You promised you wouldn’t say it until you
can see me. But, I want you to know that it’s ok if you can’t handle all of
this or if you don’t want to. Aus, it’s ok.” Tears are pouring down my cheeks.
I want him to tell me it is all ok. I want him.

“Fine, I won’t say it but you know Ry, you have to. You
should also understand that I do not take that lightly or say that freely. It
means that I am in this with you. We may not have a label for us yet, but no
matter what we are whether it is friends or more I will always be here for you.”

I cannot the stop the sobs that escape my throat as he says
the words I so desperately needed to hear. “You are amazing Aus, and I you know
you so much.”

“I know you do Ry, and this is going to work out. You get some
sleep and get your beautiful butt back here.” I can’t help smiling. I can’t
wait to go home.

“I will Aus, I can’t wait. I miss your face. My flight is
scheduled to leave late this afternoon, and I will be on it come hell or high
water.”

“Sounds good baby, now sleep. I you know.”

“Yeah I know and you do too. Bye Aus.”