Nothing Like the First Time (6 page)

Chapter Five

Over the next few weeks, I worked hard and made time for the preparations for Christmas
—it’s my favorite time of year. We played Christmas tunes at work and everybody was getting into the festive spirit. I also rehearsed for the talent show. I’d found an outfit—it wasn’t Christmassy per se, but it was pretty. I’d been shopping with Jodie and bought a red top, skirt, tights and some gorgeous ankle boots—I teamed it with a black jacket with white trim. Jim had made arrangements for me to sit in a large round metal frame with a big bow on the top so that it looked like a bauble. Cheesy? Maybe, but it was Christmas, after all.

Jodie
had been roped into performing in the show too, so she spent time at my house rehearsing. Her act was ventriloquism—she had a dummy called Samuel. She was getting pretty good, too—having done it a few years ago when she worked as a nanny, she only had to brush up her skills.

As the weeks passed, I had more things delivered
to the house thanks to Grey. There were more flowers, a hamper with spa things to pamper myself, there was even a photo album full of old photos of us. The day that arrived, I couldn’t help the tears that flowed. I lost myself in the memories and went through a whole box of tissues. I wanted so badly to go back to how we used to be. If I knew then what I know now, I probably would have gone with Grey—but there was no use thinking ‘buts’ and ‘what ifs’—what was done was done and couldn’t be undone. Life had taken us on separate paths, but now it seemed that something wanted us back together.

My head and heart warred over my love for Grey. There was so much history between us. We might have only had a relationship for three years but we had been best friends first. I missed his friendship as much as I did his love, but I couldn’t be the person he wanted me to be—I refused to break up him and Maggie. Of course he hadn’t told me he wanted me to break them up, but it was implied, or so I thought.

The night of the talent show arrived and I was getting more nervous by the moment. I normally only sing in the shower or while I’m doing house work.

The stage was all set up and it looked amazing.
Jodie was holding my hand backstage as I took deep calming breaths. She rubbed my back with the other hand.

It came time to go onstage and I took one last deep breath
. Jodie smiled my way and I knew I would go out there and give it my best. After all, the money for the tickets was going to charity.

I got
in my bauble and sang my song. When I finished, everyone applauded and I took a bow before walking offstage to find Jodie and wish her luck before her turn. It was then that I saw Grey for the first time in weeks. He looked great. Better than great—he looked sexy and… I had no words for it. He was dressed in dark blue jeans and a black fitted t-shirt that clung to his muscular frame and made my heart thump harder in my chest. I saw what looked like part of a tattoo around his bicep. Why hadn’t I seen it that fateful night?

He was truly a mouth-watering sight. I wanted to go and say hello but my feet wouldn’t move, they felt like lead weights gluing me to the spot.

In the background, I heard Jim announce over the microphone that Jodie was up next and then I saw Grey disappear. He hadn’t looked my way but he must’ve seen me on the stage, heard me singing the song that, in my heart, I was singing to him.

I wished
Jodie luck as she walked by on her way to the stage. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her she’d be great—then I took my seat in the audience for the rest of the evening’s entertainment.

Jodie
was fantastic and she came to sit next to me once she was finished. I congratulated her on her brilliant performance and she practically beamed. Matt sat on the other side of her. He kissed her and told her how awesome she was.

A few acts later, Grey walked onto the stage. My heart thundered in my chest and I wondered what on earth he wou
ld do for his act—I hadn’t known he was taking part.

Moment
s later, my heart was practically in my throat as he began to sing “
Blue Christmas
,” yet another of my favorites. He looked out across the audience, and when his eyes found mine, they didn’t leave. He sang his heart out and I didn’t realize I was crying until Jodie handed me some tissue to wipe my eyes—it was a good job I’d worn waterproof mascara.

As the audience began to stand and applaud, I stood with them and cheered for him. I’d always known he had an amazing
voice, but like me, he only sang around the house. It must’ve taken real guts for him to get up and sing in public. I made my way backstage to find him but he seemed to have vanished.

***

I saw no more of Grey before Christmas. In my mind I could still hear him singing “Blue Christmas.” His voice was powerful and hypnotizing.

Christmas Day came and went in a blur for me. I didn’t have the concentration to pay attention to much apart from dinner itself
, and even then, I pushed my food around my plate more than eating it.

As I woke
the next morning, I looked to the other side of my bed and pictured Grey lying by my side. Technically, he’d never even been in this house, much less my bed—but a girl could dream. I got up and put some coffee on. I put the radio on as I got things ready for breakfast. “Gravity” by Sara Bareilles was playing and I nearly dropped my favorite mug as I listened to lyrics and burst into tears.

I sang along in a broken voice
.

I moved over to the radio to turn the dial to find something more upbeat.
Unfortunately the next song I landed on was “Remind Me” by Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley. So I turned the dial again and landed on a more upbeat song—“Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake.

I left it on that station and went about making my breakfast. I ate a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast. I had a shift to cover at work for a few hours this afternoon, so that would be a welcome distraction from Grey. Wouldn’t it? How wrong was I?

***

When I arrived, there were Christmas songs on in the background. I’d been there about half an hour when who else but Maggie should come
into the restaurant? I asked Khelsey to serve her—I couldn’t face the woman whose fiancé I had slept with.

Maggie seemed to be waiting for company as she had ordered a glass of wine for herself and a bottle of lager. I assumed she was waiting for Grey
, but it turned out I was wrong. A good-looking gentleman joined her and sat opposite her in the corner booth she had requested.

I couldn’t help but watch them interact, they seemed very close. He couldn’t be more than a friend though
, because surely she wouldn’t bring another man here knowing I’d seen her with Grey, and she saw me watch her enter.

They
ordered lunch and another drink. Khelsey didn’t mind serving them even though it was my usual side of the restaurant.

The phone rang in the bar and Jason the bartender called Khelsey over to take the phone from him. She came over to me after taking the call and told me her son was poorly and she asked if I would mind covering for her while she went to pick him up from school. I said I would, even though I didn’t want to face Maggie.

“I’ll tell them you had to go home, don’t worry about it,” I said with a small smile that I couldn’t make myself hold.

“Thanks, Carly. I owe you one
,” Khelsey said as she fetched her coat and purse.

“You don’t owe me anything, just get your son better soon.”

“Thank you, I’ll let Jim know if I need to take any time off. Hopefully it’s nothing serious.”

I gave her a hug as she left.

I looked over at Maggie’s table, she was laughing and being very tactile, touching this guy on the arm and seeming very at ease with him. I saw they had cleared their plates, so I grabbed a dessert menu and headed over to them.

“Hi
, Maggie, your waitress had to leave because of a family emergency so I thought I’d bring you the dessert menu.”

“Oh, thank you
, Carly.” She smiled at me and it actually seemed genuine.

“No problem
. I’ll leave it with you until you’re ready, just wave and I’ll be straight over,” I said and turned to leave.

A few minutes later, Maggie waved her finely manicured hand in the air and I went to take their order.

“What can I get for you?” I asked in a saccharine voice.

“I’d like the cheesecake please
, Carly. Ben, darling, what are you having?” She looked toward him and offered a smile.

“I’ll try the chocolate fudge mountain, please
,” Ben answered, looking first at me then at Maggie.

“Good choice, sir
,” I said, and took their menu. Before I could go and place their order, Maggie spoke.

“Sorry, Carly, where are my manners? You haven’t met my fiancé
, Ben, have you? Carly, this is Ben, Ben this is Carly.” She introduced us. Now I was completely confused—I thought she was with Grey.

I turned and shook Ben’s outstretched hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ben.”

“You too
, Carly. Say, are you Grey’s Carly?” he asked.

“Grey’s Carly? No, not anymore, haven’t been for a long time
,” I replied, even more confused than before.

“Oh
,” was his only reply before Maggie spoke.

“This is the Carly he talks about
, darling, but from what I can gather—and this is really none of my business—she doesn’t want him back.”

“I… what? I’m
not sure what you mean, Maggie—I’ll admit to being totally confused right now.”

“Well
, darling, Grey told me that he wants you back, but that you haven’t spoken to him in weeks. Like I say, it’s none of my business, but I want to see my cousin as happy as I am with Ben,” she said hesitantly.

“I… I
… he’s your… cousin?” I struggled to form a coherent sentence.

“Why yes, of course he is. I’m Lizzie’s daughter
,” she replied.

“You are?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m saying. Carly, are you okay?” she asked as I stumbled a little. “Take a seat, please, just until you get your center.”

I sat in the booth next to her. I could see confusion on Ben’s face and imagined it was a reflection of my own.

“So, if you didn’t know I was Grey’s cousin, who did you think I was?” she inquired.

“Well, I thought you were his fiancée.”

“His fiancée? What on earth gave you that impression?”

I told her about seeing them at the coffee shop and seeing the ring on her finger. I could feel the blush in my cheeks. I’d completely misread the situation. W
hat on earth had I done? I’d pushed Grey away, believing he was engaged, and all the time Maggie was a relative.

“Oh
, darling.” She placed her manicured hand on my arm “Grey is head over heels in love with you. He should be telling you himself, of course.”

“But I’ve been ignoring him
,” I uttered, still in a state of shock.

“Well, yes, there is that. It’s not my place to tell you what to do
, of course, but if you love him, Carly, please tell him and put the poor guy out of his misery. He’s been moping around for weeks now. He thought after what happened that night after bumping into you at Sinners, well, I shouldn’t tell you what he thought, he should. Please call him.”

“You know what happened?”

“Yes, but only because he was moping round the house, drinking whiskey the next night and confessed what happened. Look, I know he regrets ever leaving you, do you think you could at least talk to him?”

“I… yes… no… I don’t know
,” I said as I stood up. “I’m sorry, I’ll bring your desserts.”

I walked away and placed their order. I stood at the bar and pondered over what Maggie had said. She was his cousin, she was engaged to someon
e else—Grey still loved me, I’d hurt him. He was moping around missing me. What could I do to make things right?

Once their order was up, I took the plates to their table.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said all that, Carly,” Maggie said, sounding so sincere.

“
It’s okay, Maggie. You’re only looking out for your cousin.”

“I only want him to be happy. It’s none of my business wheth
er you two work it out or not—though I do hope you do. I admit, when we first got back to town and I saw you… well, I wasn’t impressed. I mean sure, you’re gorgeous, but you looked like you didn’t want to give Grey the time of day—then you went and proved me right by ignoring him. So yeah, I was mad at you, even though I didn’t know you and it was none of my business. However, since Grey told me you two slept together, I thought maybe you did still love him, and I’m no fool—I’ve seen the way you look at him when you think no one is watching. Look, I’ll just say this, he loves you and wants to be with only you, and as his family, I want to protect him—but I know deep down you love him like crazy, it’s written on your face as plain as day.”