"We're just going to talk," I say with exasperation.
"I don't give a flying fuck. The man had his hands on you. He's been stalking you. You're lucky I'm not tearing him apart right now. Talk if you must, but I'll be in the same room with you." He punctuates his statement by crossing his arms in front of his chest, daring me to call his bluff.
I sigh. There's going to be no talking Nix out of this. "Fine. You're such a bully, though, you know?"
He gives me a mischievous smile. "I'm a lot of rotten things, Emily. Bully is just one of many."
I huff but turn around to tell Todd that we can continue our talk. Before I can utter a word, Nix has my wrist in his hand, pulling my attention back to him. "I really am sorry, Em. I didn't mean to scare you."
I place my fingers over his lips to silence his apology. "Don't be sorry. I wasn't afraid you'd do something to me. I was afraid you'd do something to Todd and that you would lose yourself."
He closes his eyes briefly and lets my words sink in. He just nods his head in acceptance of what I've said.
The rest of the evening is spent listening to Todd spill his guts to me, all the while Nix is glaring at him. It had to have been hard on poor Todd. I came away with a clearer understanding of his motivations. In fact, when the full implications of what Todd was telling me sank in, it made me relieved in a way. His being gay explained a lot of things to me. Like why I always seemed to be the one to initiate any sort of intimacy with him, or why he fumbled so much when we were intimate. Heck, it even explained why he never really wanted to pleasure me.
It also made me understand that he was living a lie most of his life, just to avoid confrontation. The pressure and stress, I’m sure, had a lot to do with how craptastic he was all of the time. I offered my support to Todd if he wanted to come out, but that’s all he would get from me.
Nix had the final say-so with Todd. Let's just say he left with a very clear understanding from Nix that he was never to approach me again. While I felt sorry for his situation, I am relieved that he finally got the message that we were over for good.
Nix
That stupid fundraiser is over and we are heading back to Emily's apartment in a cab. She's pressed tight to my side with her head resting on my shoulder. It's amazing to me how I've become so used to the feel of her body. How much I like the feel of it against mine.
I lay my head back against my seat and think about the evening. I had thought going in that the worst part would be meeting Emily's parents.
Another first for me.
Plus, I only had a little bit of information by which I could pre-judge her parents. I knew that Emily was not close to them. Not the way I was with my Pop. I knew that Emily was struggling to get control over her life, and that many things had been dictated for her.
And I know that Emily's mother had called her today with a sincere apology. The look on Emily's face was priceless. The way she jumped up and danced around Linc's living room touched at my heart. It gives credence to how powerful a simple apology can be and that is something I would do well to remember myself.
Emily's parents were actually pretty cool to me. I know I was stiff and edgy when Emily dragged me up to meet them. I kept a firm grip on Emily's hand, ready to pull her out of there if they said anything to hurt her.
Instead, they both gave her warm hugs and they were both very gracious and kind to me. When Congressman Burnham learned I was in the Marine Corps, we spent twenty minutes talking about the war...in general terms. He said he'd love to get my personal perspective on more of it later if I could have lunch with him one day. I agreed, although I really didn't want to do it. I guess I'm just assuming that my relationship with Emily will never progress to the point where I'll be "lunching" with her father. So I said I'd be happy to just so we could move forward in our discussion.
Emily's mother was a little different. She shook my hand and her words were warm. But I could still see a little bit of a mother's appraisal going on, wondering if I was good enough for her daughter. I wanted to just blurt out, "Look lady, we have an understanding. We're just fucking each other." I can only imagine what the look on her face would be if I had actually said that to her.
The rest of the evening, up until the "Todd" incident, wasn't so bad. The food was great and I actually danced a few times with Emily, and that was heaven. It made up for all of the boring, stuffy people she had to introduce me to and the fact I was stuck in a penguin suit.
I actually shudder slightly thinking about the nuclear rage that coursed through me when I saw Todd grab hold of Emily. My mind went numb when I saw her try to pull away and his refusal to release her. I had no clue what he was saying, but the look on Emily's face was such a bevy of tumultuous emotions that I had no control over the splinter of rabidity that shot through me. All I know was that he upset Emily and therefore, I must hurt him.
I honestly don't even remember Emily stepping in front of me. I don't remember her soft hands on my chest, or the words that tumbled from her mouth. None of it mattered. I didn't try to picture Harley's warm, brown eyes or Dr. Antoniak's teachings...breathe deep, breathe deep.
I only pictured my hands wrapped around Todd's neck and squeezing the ever-fucking life out of him.
And then...somehow words finally penetrated the fog...
Nix...please...you're scaring me.
It was Emily's sweet voice that touched me and all of my anger simply vanished. Todd was not what was important. Emily...and the fact that she was scared of me...that was what was important.
I had looked down at her face and there was fear brimming in her eyes. The amber color had darkened and her brows were scrunched tight with worry. Her fingertips were digging slightly into my chest.
And awareness of what I had been about to do came sweeping back into my body. I almost gasped at the sickening realization that I had been so mad that I had almost blacked out from cognizance of my situation.
I had an overwhelming need for Harley right then...to sink my fingers into his fur, and have him nuzzle up against me. But he wasn't there and I needed to get control on my own.
After pulling Emily into my arms, I felt a slight settling overcome me. Like a light blanket of peace. I credit that strictly to Emily, because I felt it the moment our arms wrapped around each other.
Emily is such a kind soul, that she feels really bad for Todd. Me? Not so much. He's still a douchebag in my opinion.
I'll give the guy a tiny bit of credit. He sat there and spilled, what he believed, to be a terrible secret to her. That he was gay and had known pretty much since high school. He also reiterated what I had already figured out, that his family would not be accepting of him at all. He's been living a lie his entire life and he's been taking it to extreme measures so he will not be outed.
I get that he is in a terrible situation. I would hate to be in his situation...to not be accepted by your family for who you are. But his troubles in no way justify the torment he visited upon Emily. I hope he takes my warning to heed because I won't hesitate to see my threat through to fruition. With that being said, I truly hope the guy can find some peace in his life, because everyone deserves it. Except maybe me.
Regardless of my feelings on the matter, Emily has chosen to forgive him and I will accept that. She feels bad that he is stuck in the same situation she was in herself not too long ago...bending to the will of her parents. She believes, and I trust her, that the situation with Todd is resolved. She has encouraged him to be true to himself and hopefully he will take her advice.
Because if he doesn't, and decides to continue this futile pursuit, I will hurt him.
***
Fil is asleep when we get home and Emily leads me into her bedroom. I know she's tired and probably wants to curl up and go to sleep.
But as soon as she closes the bedroom door, she starts taking her clothes off. And not just disrobing to get her pajamas on. She's slowly and seductively removing her dress, watching me with stormy eyes.
What. The. Hell?
I mean, I thought she'd want to talk some more about what happened at the fundraiser. That's what women want, right? And although I've never felt compelled to give that before, I had completely set my mind on giving that to Emily if that is what she wanted. But apparently she didn't.
Oh, well...I'm not going to argue. Besides, my tongue practically slides down my throat when Emily pushes her dress to her feet, so I'm not in much of a talking mood. She's standing there in nothing but a strapless black, lace bra, matching black lace panties and mile high fuck-me shoes.
"Please don't take those shoes off," I beg her as my eyes try to roam every inch of her body.
She grins at me and saunters forward. "Funny man," she says as she works at my belt and pants.
I frame her face with my hands and kiss her. She makes quick work of my pants and is sliding the zipper down. She reaches in and takes a hold of me and I surprise the shit out of myself when a long, low moan pours out of me. My body has never been such a slave to someone's touch before.
I don't mean to but my hips thrust into her hand, demanding more. Her soft hands have the power to command anything they want from me. A thought that scares and humbles me all at once.
I pull away from her kiss and start to slide my hands down to her breasts. She actually grabs my hands and turns me toward the bed. When I feel the edge hit the back of my legs, she softly pushes me down until I’m sitting.
Emily swiftly pulls off her bra, and pushes her underwear down her legs. She gracefully steps out of them, leaving her heels on at my request.
My dick is so hard right now, I'm afraid it might break.
Climbing on top of me, Emily straddles my hips. She rubs her softness on my erection, which is fully exposed outside of my pants. My hands involuntarily grip her hips...hard enough it will probably bruise...and I clench my teeth, trying to maintain some control. I slowly ease the pressure of my fingers.
Emily rises on her knees so her face looms over me. She brings her lips down on top of mine in a kiss that slings lust all the way from my mouth to my hips. She wraps her arms around the back of my neck, melding her face to mine. Neither one of us comes up for air and I use the opportunity to run my hands up her calves, her thighs, her back...and back down again.
Suddenly, Emily pushes back from me and stands up. She lays her hands on my chest, just staring at me. Her eyes are dark, smoldering. Her tongue peeps out and runs wickedly across her lower lips. Then she drags her gaze down, down, down and stares at me.
I reach to her to pull her down for another kiss but she practically knocks my hands away as she drops to her knees in front of me. She looks up at me, coyly almost, as she takes me in her hands again. My hips move —independent bastards —and she's stroking me gently.
And then my vision dims when she bends over and takes me in her mouth.
Soft...wet...magical.
My hands hold Emily's head lightly. I let her set the pace and I don't push her to give me anything she doesn't want to give. The fact that she is here, bent over my lap with her silky hair floating across my exposed skin, is a fucking wet dream.
She's not experienced, but she is oh, so unbelievably sweet and adventurous. Her mouth feels like a satin fist as she pulls me deeper and deeper in. Her sharp nails are sunk into my thighs right now and I'm not going to be surprised if she draws blood. I don't give a fuck because this is one of the most amazing feelings ever and I don't want her to stop. Except, I'll blow so fast and hard in her mouth if she doesn't slow down a bit and I want inside of her too bad to let that happen.
I gently pull her off me and she actually fucking whimpers at the loss. That right there almost has me losing it.
I stand up, pulling Emily along with me. I push her gently back to the bed and tear the rest of my clothes off. My baser instincts are telling me to drive into her...to pound my brand into her so there is no doubt that she belongs to me.
Instead, after putting on a condom, I ease slowly into her. She wraps her legs, still wearing those sexy shoes, around my back. I keep my eyes closed and concentrate on the feel of her body. The way her warmth slowly pulls me in deep, and squeezes me rapturously.
I open my ears and listen to the sounds we are making. Both of us are breathing heavy, but Emily is making shorter, raspier breaths. Mine come out in long, choppy waves. Both of us issue staccato groans and I smile when I hear the most delicate whimper come from Emily's lips. I listened to the erotic sounds our bodies make when they come in contact with another.
My pace is slow, measured. Behind the darkness of my eyelids, I try to memorize the feel of every inch of Emily as I slide in. I listen close to her soft moan when I pull back with agonizing deliberation.
Emily's hands on my ass urge me faster but I don't give in. I keep it lazy and methodical. I build us up tortuously. I can feel Emily is close, and I can even feel the rumbling of my own orgasm starting. My body practically demands to start pounding but I don't. This exercise in fucking civility is going to kill me but I'm going to keep it slow until the end.
"More," Emily pleads.
"No," I tell her. And I go slower yet.
Somehow, our fingers become laced together. I open my eyes briefly to see them clasped together beside our heads. Our knuckles are white and Emily's nails are dug into the back of my hand. Again, I could care less if she draws blood because it feels so fucking good.
I don't pick up my overall pace but on my next push in, I go a little harder...a little deeper. Emily cries out at the sudden change.
I do it again, and her cry echoes once more.
The third time, I slam in and watch as Emily fractures apart. My name bursts out in a husky shout and her upper back arches off the bed. I can feel her wet, warmth gripping me tightly as I make one more thrust and then I'm shooting inside of her, my face buried in her neck.
My orgasm continues on and on, my hips involuntarily knocking against her pelvis with each spurt.
Finally, I'm drained and I collapse on top of her. I know she has to be suffocating but I can't even move, so deep is the post orgasmic paralysis I'm feeling.
I have no clue what that slow dance of passion was.
I think many women would coin that to be "love making".
There wasn't love involved but it was without a doubt the most sexually charged, softly passionate experience of my existence.
I know I've never come harder in my life.
I know I will probably never replicate that moment again. Ever.
I know that Emily has just become so much more to me than she was just this side of ten minutes ago.