Authors: ARUN GUPTA
‘C’mon, you get good money. Significantly more than the eight grand
you made as a journalist trainee,’ I said.
‘Yes,’ Vroom said as he took a big hundred-and-twenty-rupees sip. ‘We
get paid well, fifteen thousand a month. Fuck, that is almost twelve dollars a
day. Wow I make as much a day as a US burger boy makes in two hours. Not
bad for my college degree. Not bad at all. Fucking nearly double of what I
made as a journalist anyway.’ He pushed his empty glass and it slid to the
other end of the table.
Everyone was silent for a minute. Vroom on his temper trip is
unbearable.
‘Stop being so depressed. Let’s dance,’ Esha said and tugged at Vroom’s
hand.
‘No,’ Vroom said.
‘Come for one song,’ Esha said and stood up from her stool.
‘Okay, but if anyone teases you, I’m not getting into a fight,’ Vroom
said.
‘Don’t worry, no one will. There are prettier girls here,’ Esha said.
‘I don’t think so. Anyway, let’s go,’ Vroom said as they went tot eh
dance floor. The song playing was
Sharara Sharara
, one of Esha’s favorites.
Priyanka and I watched them dance from our seats.
‘Want to go for a walk now?’ Priyanka said after a few minutes.
‘Sure,’ I said. We held hands and walked out of 32nd Milestone. The
bouncer at the door stamped our palms so that we could re-enter the disco.
We headed to the parking lot, as the music was softer there. My ears never
felt so nice.
‘It’s so calm here,’ Priyanka said. ‘I don’t like it when Vroom gets all
worked up. The boy needs to control his temper. Top much unchecked
aggression going on there.’
‘He’s young and confused. Don’t worry, life will slap him into shape. I
think he regrets moving to Connexions sometimes. Besides, he had not taken
his dad and mom’s separation so well. It shows now and then.’
‘Still, he should get a grip on himself. Get a steady girlfriend maybe,
that will help him relax.’
‘I think he likes Esha,’ I said.
‘I don’t know if Esha is interested. She’s quite focused on her modeling
trip.’
We reached our Qualis. I opened the door to take out a pack of
cigarettes.
‘No smoking near me,’ she said and grabbed the pack from me.
‘See, maybe it is not such a good idea to have a steady girlfriend,’ I
said.
‘Really? So Mr Shyam is having second thoughts?’ she said, tilting her
head.
‘No,’ I said, and opened the Qualis again. I took out a bottle.
‘What’s that?’ she asked.
‘Some Bacardi we keep handy. It’s three hundred bucks for a drink
inside, the cost of this whole bottle.
‘Cool. You guys are smart,’ Priyanka said and pulled at my cheek. Then
she took a sip from the bottle.
‘Careful. There’s no need to get drunk just because it’s free.’
‘Trust me. There is a need when you a have a psycho parent.’
‘What happened now?’
‘Nothing. I don’t want to talk about her today. Let’s do a shot.’ The
bottle’s lid acted as one cup, and I broke the top of a cigarette packet for the
other. We poured Bacardi into both and warmth traveled down from my lips
to my insides as we tossed down our first shot.
‘I’m sorry about the Bakshi comment I made inside,’ she said.
‘It’s alright. Doesn’t matter,’ I said, and wondered if we should do shot
number two now or later.
‘I can be a bitch sometimes. But I do make it up to you. I’m a loving
person, no?’ she said, high from mixing her drinks.
‘You’re just fine,’ I said and looked at her moist eyes. Her nose
puckered up a bit and I could have looked at it forever.
‘So, she said.
‘So what?’ I said, still hypnotized by her nose.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ she said and smiled.
‘Like what?’
‘The come-hither look. I see mischief in your eyes, mister,’ she said
playfully, grabbing both my hands.
‘There is no mischief—that’s just your imagination,’ I said.
‘We’ll see,’ she said and came up close. We hugged as she kissed me on
my neck.
‘Listen,’ she said.
‘What?’ I mumbled.
‘When was the last time we made love?’
‘Oh, don’t even ask. It’s really pathetic—over a month ago.’
It was true. The only place we made love was my house when it was
empty. However, recently my mom had started staying more at home because
of the cold. She had even given up her favorite past time of meeting relatives.
‘Have you ever made love in confined spaces?’
‘What?’ I said loudly, right into her ear.
‘Ouch!’ she said, rubbing her ear. ‘Hello? You heard me right?’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Well, we have the time, soft music and a desolate spot.’
‘So?’
‘So, step into the Qualis, my friend,’ she said and opened the door. I
climbed into the backseat and she followed me.
Our Qualis was parked right behind the disco, and we could hear the
music of we were quiet. The song changed to
Mahi Ve
from the movie
Kaante
.
‘I love this song,’ she said and sat astride my lap, facing me.
‘It’s a pole dancer song. You know that?’ I said.
‘yes. But I like the lyrics. Their love is true, but fate has something else
in store.’
‘I never focus on the lyrics.’
‘You just notice the scantily clad girls in the video,’ she said and ran her
fingers through my hair.
I stayed silent.
‘So, you didn’t answer my question—have you made love in confined
spaces?’ she said.
‘Priyanka, are you crazy or are you drunk?’
She unbuttoned the top few buttons of my shirt. ‘Both, Okay mister, the
thing about confined spaces is that you have to cooperate. Now move your
hands out of the way,’ she said.
We were quiet, apart from our breathing.
She confirmed that the windows were shut and ordered me to remove
my shirt. She took off her kurti first, and then slowly unhooked her bra.
‘be careful with your clothes, we’ll need to find them quickly
afterwards,’ she said.
‘Are you mad…’ I gasped even as I raised my arms so she could pull my
shirt over my head. She moved to keep my shirt aside and her foot landed on
my left baby toe.
‘Ouch!’ I screamed.
‘Oops, sorry,’ she said in a naughty-apologetic tone. As she moved her
foot away, her head hit the roof.
‘Ouch,’ she said. ‘Sorry, this isn’t as elegant as in the
Titanic movie
.’
‘It’s alright. Clumsy sex is better than choreographed sex. And certainly
better than no sex,’ I said as I pulled her close.
‘By the way, do you have a condom?’ she said.
‘Yes sir. We live in constant hope,’ I said as I pulled out my wallet.
We laughed as she embraced me. She started kissing me on my face. I
kissed her shoulders. In a few moments, I forgot I was in the company Qualis.
Twenty minutes later we collapsed in each other’s arms on the
backseat.
‘Amazing. That is simply amazing, Ms Priyanka.’
‘My pleasure, Sir,’ she said and winked at me. ‘Can we lie here and talk
for a while?’
‘Sure,’ I said, reaching for my clothes.
She cuddled me again after we had dressed.
‘Do you love me?’ she asked. Her voice was serious.
‘More than anybody else on this planet, and that includes me,’ I said,
caressing her hair.
‘You think I’m a caring person?’ she said. Her voice told me she was
close to tears.
‘Why do you keep asking me that?’ I said.
‘My mother was looking at our family album today. She stopped at a
picture of me when I was three years old: I’m sitting on a tricycle and my
mother is pushing me. She saw that picture, and you know what she said?’
‘What?’
‘She said I was so cute when I was three.’
‘You’re cute now,’ I said pressed her nose like a button.
‘And she said I was solving and caring then and that I wasn’t so loving
anymore. She said she always wondered what had made me so heartless…’
Priyanka said and burst into tears.
I held her tight and felt her body shake. I thought hard about what I
could say. Guys can never figure out what to say in such emotional moments
and always end up saying something stupid.
‘Your mother is crazy…’
‘Don’t say anything about my mother. I love her. Can you just listen to
me for five minutes?’ Priyanka said.
‘Of course. Sorry…’ I said as her sobs grew louder. I swore to myself to
stay quiet for the next five minutes. I started counting my breath to pass the
time. Sixteen a minute is my average; eighty breaths would mean I had
listened to her for five minutes.
‘We weren’t always like this. My mom and I were best friends. Until
class eight I think. Then as I became older, she became crazier,’ she said.
I wondered if I should point out that she had just told me not to call her
mum crazy. However, I had promised myself I would keep quiet.
‘She had different rules for me and my brother. And that began to
bother me. She would comment on everything I wore, everywhere I went,
whereas my brother…she would never say anything to him. I tried to explain it
to her, but she just became more irritating, and by the time I reached
college, I couldn’t wait to get away from her.’
‘Uh-uh,’ I said, calculating that almost half my time must have passed.
My leg was cramping. When sex is over, confined spaces are a pain.
‘All through college I ignored her and did what I wanted. In fact, this
whole don’t-care phase was born out of that. But at one level, I felt so guilty.
I tried again to connect with her after college. But she had a problem with
everything—my thinking, my friends, my boyfriend.’
The last word caught my attention. I had to speak, even though only
fifty-seven breaths had passed.
‘Sorry, but did you say boyfriend?’
‘Well yeah. She knows I’m with you. And she had this thing about me
finding someone settled.’
Settled
? The words rewound and repeated itself in my head several
times.
What does that mean anyway
? Just someone rich, or someone who
gets predictable cash flows at the end of every month. Except parents do not
say it that way because then it really sounds like they’re trading their
daughter to the highest bidder. But in some ways, they are. They do not give
a damn about love or feelings or crap like that. ‘Show me the money and keep
our daughter for the rest of your life.’ That is the arrangement in an arranged
marriage.
‘What are you thinking about?’ she said.
‘I’m a loser according to your mom, isn’t it?’ I said.
‘That is not what I said.’
‘Don’t you bring up Bakshi and my promotion every time we have a
conversation/’ I said, moving away.
‘Why do you get so defensive? Anyway, if Bakshi doesn’t promote you,
you can look for another job.’
‘I’m tired of job hunting. There is nothing good out there. And I’m tired
of rejections. Moreover, what is the point of joining another call center? I’ll
just have to start as a junior agent all over again—without you, without my
friends. And let me tell you this, I may not be team leader, but I am happy I
am content. You realize that? And tell your drama queen mom to come say it
to my face that I am a loser. And she can send you off with whichever fucking
settled annuity income earner she likes. I am what I am...’ I said, my face
beetroot-red.
‘Shyam, please can you try and understand?’
‘Understand what? Your mother? No, I can’t. And you can’t either, but I
suspect deep down you might agree with her. Like, what am I doing with this
loser,’ I said.
‘Stop talking nonsense,’ Priyanka shouted. ‘I just made love to you for
god’s sake. And stop using that loser word; she said and broke into tears