Authors: ARUN GUPTA
again.
Two brief knocks on the window disturbed our conversation. It was
Vroom; Esha was standing next to him.
‘Hello? I thought we came together. You love birds are inseparable, eh?’
he said.
#13
The loud ring of the landline telephone brought me back from 32nd
Milestone. Priyanka grabbed the phone. ‘Hiiii Ganesh,’ she said, her stretched
tone too flirty, if you ask me. But then, who the hell cares for my opinion
anyway.
I wondered what
his
tone like. ’
Get under the table. Tap the phone.
Shyam
,’ a voice told me. I immediately scolded myself for the horrible
thought.
‘Of course I knew it was you. No one else calls on this emergency line,’
Priyanka said and ran her fingers through her hair. Women playing with their
hair while talking to a guy is an automatic female preening gesture; I saw it
once on Discovery Channel.
‘Yeah,’ Priyanka said after a few seconds, ‘I like cars. Which one are
you planning to buy?...Lexus?
‘Lexus! The dude is buying a Lexus,’ Vroom screamed, loud enough for
me to understand that this was an expensive car.
‘Ask him which model, ask him please,’ Vroom said and Priyanka looked
at him startled. She shook her head at Vroom.
‘Let them talk, Vroom. They’re got better things to discuss than car
models, ’Esha said.
‘What colour? C’mon it’s your car. How can I decide for you?’ Priyanka
said as her fingers started playing with the curled telephone wire. Over the
next five minutes Ganesh did most of the talking, while Priyanka kept saying
monosyllabic ‘yes’ or equivalents.
‘
Tap the phone
,’ the voice kept banging in my head. I hated myself for
it, but I knew I would to do it. I wondered when Priyanka would step away
from the desk.
‘No, no, Ganesh, it’s fine, go for your meeting. I’m here only, call me
later,’ Priyanka said as she ended her call. I guess Mr Microsoft did have some
work to do after all.
‘Vroom is Lexus a nice car?’ Priyanka said.
Vroom was already on the Net, surfing Lexus pictures. He turned his
monitor to Priyanka. ‘Check this out. Lexus is one of the coolest cars. The guy
must be loaded.’
Priyanka looked at Vroom’s screen for a few seconds and then turned to
the girls. ‘He wants me to choose the colour. Can you believe that? I don’t
think I should though,’ she said.
Vroom pushed himself back in his swivel chair. ‘Go for black or silver.
Nothing is s cool as the classic colors. But I’ll check our some more for you,’
he said. ‘And tell him the interiors have to be dark leather.’
Meanwhile, my interiors were on fire. I felt like throwing up. I
wondered when I could tap the phone. It was totally wrong, and Priyanka and
the rest of the girls would probably kill me if they found out. But I had to do
it. It was masochistic, but I just had to hear that ass my ex-girlfriend away
with the promise of expensive cars.
I tried to set the stage so I had some excuse to get beneath the table.
Why have there been no calls in the last ten minutes?’ I said. ‘I should
check of the connections are fine.’
‘Let it be,’ Esha said. I’m enjoying the break.’
‘Yes me too,’ Radhika said. ‘And the connection is okay. Bangalore is
just over-eager and picking up all the calls.’
‘Bio?’ Priyanka said to Esha it was their code word to go the toilet
together for a private conversation.
‘Sure.’ Esha sensed the need for gossip and got up from her chair.
‘I’ll come too,’ Radhika said and stood up. She turned to me: ‘The girls
want a bio break, team leader.’
‘You’re
all
going?’ I said, pretending to be reluctant, but secretly
thrilled. This was my chance. ‘Well, okay, since nothing much is happening
right now.’
As soon as the girls were out of sight I dived under the table
‘What are you doing?’ Vroom said.
‘Nothing. I don’t think the connections are firm,’ I said.
‘And what the hell do you know about the connections,’ Vroom said. He
bent down to look under the table. ‘Tell me honestly what you’re doing.’
I told him about my uncontrollable urge to tap the phone. Vroom
scolded me for five seconds, but then got excited by the challenge and joined
me under the table.
‘I can’t believe I’m helping you with this. The girls will kill us if they
find out,’ Vroom said.
‘They won’t have a clue,’ I said, and connected the wires. ‘Look, it’s
almost done.’
Vroom picked up the landline and we tested the arrangement. I could
select an option on my computer and listen in on the landline via my headset.
Mr Microsoft was in the bag.
‘Why are you doing this?’ Vroom said.
‘I don’t know. Don’t ask me that.’
‘And why are the girls talking so long?’
‘You know them, they have their girl talk in the toilet.’
‘And you don’t want to hear what they’re saying? I’m sure they’re
discussing Mr Microsoft there.’
‘Oh no,’ I said, worried about what I could be missing. ‘Although how
would we be able to eavesdrop?’
‘From the corner stall of the men’s toilet,’ Vroom said. ‘it shares a wall
with the girl’s toilet. If you press your ear hard against the wall, you can hear
them.’
‘Really?’ I said, my eyes lighting up.
Vroom nodded.
‘It’ll be wrong though, eavesdropping through a stall,’ I said.
‘Yes it will.’
‘But who cares. Let’s go,’ I said and Vroom and I jumped off our chairs.
Vroom and I squeezed in and bolted the door in the corner stall of the
WASG men’s toilet. We pressed our ears against the wall. I could hear
Radhika’s voice.
‘Yes, he sounds like a really nice guy,’ she was saying.
‘But I shouldn’t tell him the color, no?’ it’s his car and it is so
expensive. But you know what he said>’ Priyanka said.
‘What? Radhika said.
‘He said “no, it is
our
car”, and then he said “you have brought colour
to my life, so you get to choose the color”.’
‘Oh, he sounds so romantic,’ Esha said.
‘That is such a lame loser line. Color of my life, my ass,’ I said to Vroom.
‘Shh. They’ll hear us, stupid. Keep quiet,’ Vroom said and put his hand
on my mouth.
‘Anyway, how’s Anuj?’ Priyanka said. I could hear the jingle of her
bangles. She was probably brushing her hair.
‘Anuj is fine,’ Radhika said. ‘He is at a dealer conference in Kolkata. I
think he has to be up late as some dealers can’t seem to have enough to
drink.’
‘Sales jobs are tough,’ Esha said. ‘Okay, excuse me, but I have to
change this…ouch!’
‘What’s happening?’ I said
Vroom shrugged his shoulders.
‘Esha, your wound has not healed for days. Just a band-aid is not
enough,’ Priyanka said. I guessed Esha was changing the band-aid on her shin.
‘No, I’m fine. As long as it heals before the Lakme fashion week,’ Esha
said.
‘Let’s go back girls, it is almost 1:00 a.m.,’ Radhika said. ‘Otherwise the
boys will grumble.’
‘The boys always grumble. Like they never have their cigarette breaks,’
Esha said.
‘But today they are extra grumbly. At least
someone
is,’ Radhika said.
Vroom pointed a finger at me. Yes, the girls were talking about me.
I grumbled in lip sync.
‘You think Shyam is not taking the news well?’ Priyanka said her voice
becoming fainter as they walked towards the toilet’s exit.
‘You tell us. You know him better than we do,’ Esha said.
‘I wish I knew him now. I don’t know why he sulks and acts so childish
sometimes,’ Priyanka said as they left the toilet.
‘Childish? Me? I am childish?’ I said to Vroom, jumping up and down in
the stall. ‘What the hell. Mr Microsoft gives these cheesy lines and he is cute
and romantic. I say nothing and I am childish,’ I banged a fist on the stall door.
‘Shyam, don’t behave like a kid,’ Vroom said.
We came out of the stall. I jumped back a step as I saw Bakshi by the
sink
Through the mirror, Bakshi saw both of us. His jaw dropped as he
turned towards us.
‘Hello Sir,’ Vroom said and went up to the sink next to him.
‘Sir, it is not what you think…’I said, pointing back at the stall.
‘I am not thinking anything. What you do in your personal lives is up to
you. But why aren’t you at the desk?’ Bakshi said.
‘Sir, we just took a short break. Call traffic is very low today,’ I said.
‘Did you log your break? The girls are missing from the bay as well,’
Bakshi said. His face was turning from a shiny pink to a shiny red.
‘Really? Where did the girls go/’ Vroom said.
Bakshi turned away from us and walked to the urinal stalls. I went to the
stall adjacent to him.
‘Didn’t you just use the toilet?’ Bakshi said.
‘Sir,’ I said and hesitated. ‘Sir, that was different, with Vroom.’
‘Please. I don’t want to know,’ Bakshi said.
‘Sir, no,’ I said.
Now this is something women never have to deal with; standing next to
your boss in the toilet as he pees is one of the world’s most awkward
situations. What are you supposed to do? Leave him alone or give him
company and entertain him? Is it okay to talk to him while he is doing his
business or not?
‘Sir, how come you are using this restroom?’ I said, as I had not seen
him there before.
‘Didn’t mean to. I always use the executive toilet,’ Bakshi said,
emphasizing his superior position to me.
‘Yes sir,’ I said and nodded my head. I had acknowledge his
magnanimous gesture of peeing in the same bay as us.
But why was he here
?
‘Anyway, I came to your desk to drop off a courier for Esha.’
‘Courier/’ Vroom said from his position at the sink. ‘At this time?’
‘I’ve kept the parcel on her desk. Just tell her,’ Bakshi said as he zipped
up.
‘Also, Shyam, can you tell the voice agents to come to my office for a
team meeting later, say 2:30 a.m., okay/’ Bakshi said.
‘What’s up sir?’ Vroom said.’
‘Nothing. I want to share some pertinent insights with the resources.
Anyway, can I ask you a couple of questions on the website? You know it well,
right?’
‘Yes sir. And most questions will be answered in the FAQ section of the
user manual we sent you,’ Vroom said.
‘FAQ?
‘Frequently asked questions.’
‘Good. Boston may have some questions. I will rely on you smart people
to answer them. For instance, how do you update the site for new computer
models?’
‘It’s easy, Sir. Any systems person can modify the website backend and
change the queries to suit the model,’ Vroom said.
Bakshi asked us a few more questions. They were simple enough for
Vroom or me to answer them. Especially as we had built the website from
scratch.
‘Good, good. I am impressed by your knowledge. Anyway, thanks for the
user manual, I have already sent it to Boston,’ Bakshi said and shook his hands
dry. I moved away to avoid any droplets failing on me.
‘You did/’ both of us said in unison.
‘Sir, if you could have copied us on the email…we would like to be in
the loop,’ Vroom said. Good one, he was using Bakshi’s phrases back at him.
‘Oh, I didn’t? I am so sorry. I am not good with emails anyway. I’ll just
forward it to you. But you guys man the bay now, okay?’
‘Of course, Sir,’ I said.
‘And have you finished the ad-hoc task I gave you,’ Bakshi said.
‘What, Sir?’ I said, and then realized he meant the photocopying of the
board meeting invite. ‘Almost done, Sir. I will send it to you.’
Bakshi nodded and left us behind in the restroom. I felt weird that