Only the Strongest Survive (31 page)

*

While she was
scrubbing her body under the shower, he made breakfast: bacon with
eggs, freshly squeezed orange juice
, and
coffee. Even though it was just breakfast, the table was set
perfectly, every plate in its place, juice glasses exactly two
inches to the right of the plates. He kept thinking about her,
trying to relive every moment he had experienced with her the night
before. Never had he felt like this. Never before had he been as
happy.

He could
still smell her body and perfume, a scent he found intoxicating.
During all this daydreaming he was swaying to and fro as if to some
gentle music. But this music was played by the love in his heart
rather than instruments.

When she
appeared he wanted to kiss her cheeks, but changed his mind after a
single footstep toward her, when he saw her rigid and cold
face.

Even before
she sat down, she said, “John, we must talk.”

Her voice was
cold and cruel and he knew exactly what she was going to tell him.
If he could, he would have blocked his ears and prevented those
words entering his mind.
Wondering why
she was so cold, he looked down and nodded.

“
What we did
last night ….” She corrected herself: “What happened last night ….
I don’t really know how it happened ….”

“
It was the
nicest thing I’ve ever experienced,” he said, interrupting her
angrily. “I know what you’re trying to say, that it was a mistake
and you don’t want it to ever happen again.”

“Yes, that’s it exactly,” she hissed.

For a few
moments he looked seriously into her eyes, but found it difficult
to endure their coldness. “If that’s what you really want, Emely,
it’ll never happen again.”

His words
shocked her and made her angry because he had said what she was
going to tell him.

He put her
plate on the table so that it made a loud noise and then poured
some juice into her glass. When she was about to say something, he
overtook her by saying dryly, “Enjoy,” and sat in his
chair.

Angrily she
shut her mouth and looked straight ahead.
He really is an idiot,
she
thought.

*

They spent
the next half
-hour looking everywhere but
at each other, like stubborn children. Emely ate half the bacon,
but left the egg. Somehow the food refused to go down. She was
hungry, but her thoughts were all over the place and swallowing was
an effort. The thought that she would have to spend the whole
morning today and tomorrow and the day after and … with him,
suffocated her.

After coffee,
they went for a short, silent walk with Kitty. Kitty couldn’t
understand why they were so cold and kept running from one to the
other and then decided to focus on sniffing instead. After the walk
he took her to her room, turned around, and walked upstairs without
saying a word.

From
the top of the stairs he said calmly, “If
there’s any selling or buying to be done, please call
me.”

She wanted to
say
, “OK,” but this time she found it
pointless to have the last word.
Let it be, let him sit up there. He always gets on my
nerves anyway.
“We’re alright on our own,
aren’t we, Kitty?”

She was still staring at the stairs, angrily
clenching her teeth. Then she glanced at the computer, looking at
the dark screen for a while. The machine was off and all she could
see was the reflection of the objects in the room.

For a while
she stayed like that, her thoughts elsewhere, but then she took a
quick breath. The door was open.
He’s never forgotten to lock the door behind
him.

She took a
few steps toward the door, but then stopped. “We can’t escape
anyway, can we
, Kitty?” she said out
loud, and kissed the dog.

She turned on
the computer and tried to focus on the stock market. Staring at
various diagrams, she open
ed and closed
windows without much thought, reflecting her bad mood. Her mind
stayed on shares for a while longer and then it wandered to Philip.
She took a deep breath, the pain in her heart making her feel as if
she were running out of air. She was missing him so much. Then she
remembered Sally and all the wonderful times they had had
together.
What is she doing? I
bet it’s something silly.

This made her
smile, but then she covered her eyes and began thinking about her
company, which brought her back to reality.
When will he let me go?
Tears started running down her cheeks.
I hate him, I hate him so much.

She sobbed
for a minute or two until one of the charts attracted her
attention.
How come the
Diagram Computers shares have fallen so much?
Once more she checked all the graphs that she had already
looked at, but this time she paid more attention. She wasn’t aware
of the moment when the shares began to occupy her mind so much that
she stopped thinking about her problems. She looked at the Dow
Jones index with great interest as well as some other indexes that
showed the changes in the value of securities. She found several
opportunities for a sensible investment, but didn’t want to rush
it. Instead she wanted to study everything and then decide. She
began thinking out loud: “If we sell Diagram Computers shares and
buy Nokia shares instead, then …”

Suddenly the
perimeter alarm went off, startling her so that she spilled the
glass of water that was next to her.
Has he gone out and left my room open?

Her
excitement grew. She looked at the
monitor and the attractive opportunities, but her eyes
traveled to the door and her heart began thumping.
Maybe he’s just testing me.
The numbers and diagrams lost their appeal. She
got up and stood there for a while and then sat down
again.

This is my opportunity to escape.
She got up again, picked up Kitty, but become hesitant
again and sat down. At that moment she felt Kitty stiffen and start
shaking.
Something isn’t
right.

Strange
voices could be heard upstairs.
So it isn’t John leaving, but someone coming.
Finally it dawned on her who it could be. She
began shaking with fear. “Ronald,” she said quietly.

The next
moment she thought,
What if
Kitty begins barking?
She pressed her
even closer and gently held her mouth. But luckily Kitty neither
growled nor barked, only trembled.

*

John was in a
foul mood. He kept thinking about his relationship with Emely and
was increasingly aware that things couldn
’t continue as they were. When he heard the shrill sound of
the alarm, he sobered up immediately and looked out the window.
“Ronald, that’s all I need,” John grumbled. It was Friday morning,
a normal working day. “What’s brought that idiot here?”

When Ronald
came into the house, John was already waiting for him with a rigid
expression on his face. The first thought that came to him on
seeing his brother was that he must have put on at least ten
pounds.
His face is like a
watermelon and his body increasingly resembles a barrel.

“
Hi
, John.”

Expressionless, John said,
“Hi,
Ronald.”

Ronald was looking at him kindly, showing his
yellowed teeth.

“
Unless I’m
mistaken, it’s Friday. Why aren’t you at work?” John asked
him.

“I’ve got a day off and I’m glad to see you
too. You won’t believe how much I’ve missed you.”

John rolled
his eyes, knowing that
these were just
empty words.
He’s probably
worried that I’ve gone crazy and am going to tell everything to the
police.

They sat on a
large sofa in
the spacious room next to
the kitchen. John got up immediately when he noticed that the door
to the basement was ajar.
I
hope that dog doesn’t start barking,
he
thought, while saying out loud, “Would you like a coffee, or
something stronger?” At the same time he was inching closer to the
door to the basement.

“
Both
. Coffee and something
stronger.”

While Ronald
looked around the room a bit, examining the old furniture and the
walls that needed a fresh coat of paint, John calmly closed the
door and walked to the liquor cabinet. He knew that Ronald’s
favorite drink was brandy, so he took out the bottle and decided he
could also do with a glass during these tense moments. He went to
the kitchen and made some instant coffee in the microwave and then
came back to the living room.

Ronald said,
“I won’t beat around the bush. I’m getting worried about you, John.
You’ve never been a loner and I’m amazed that you’re happy in this
spooky house. There’s no one anywhere near.” He looked around and
pulled a face as if he were in an abattoir.

“I told you I’m not alone. I go into town at
least four times a week and get one of the girls there.” He
deliberately laughed in a meaningfully vulgar way.

“
Hm
m,” Ronald said. “I don’t doubt
it, but I still find it strange. And there’s another thing
…”

He was
shuffling on the sofa as if unable to find a comfortable
position
, while John watched him
disapprovingly and thought,
He
gets on my nerves more and more.

“
Joan and I
are selling our house. We’re moving to the suburbs. And lo and
behold, the realtor offered me your
apartment, among others.” He took a quick sip. “Why are you
selling your apartment?”

The damn snoop. He’s always sticking his nose where it
doesn’t belong.
“I’m thinking of moving,
too.”

“Oh yes? Where?”

“I don’t know yet,” John said, looking at his
watch.

“
You seem a
bit nervous, John. In fact, you seem very different, more serious.
I haven’t seen a smile on your face for ages. And you never call.
Joan and I are very worried.”

This niceness of his is nauseating. How come I haven’t
noticed this before? He irritates me so much.
“Oh, don’t worry, I feel fine. Maybe I’ve caught a bug, but
that’s all. I feel a little drained of energy, so I probably don’t
look too good.”

The
unpleasant sound of the alarm, similar to that emitted by
submarines when they are submerging, went off
again
, causing Ronald to spill his coffee
on his pants. The hot liquid made him jump up and he swore. He
wanted to wipe the stain away with his hand, while John looked out
nervously. Not far from the door he noticed a rabbit.

“What the hell was that?” shouted Ronald.

“Alarm,” John replied dryly. “The damn rabbit
had to come to the door at this moment.”

“Alarm? What use is an alarm in this lonely
house with no neighbors anywhere near?”

“Precisely because there’s no one around. You
can never be sure.”

Ronald looked at him seriously, still rubbing
his pants. “I don’t know, John, you just don’t seem to be yourself.
Why haven’t you got a dog instead? At least you’d have some
company.”

John nearly
gave himself away by saying that he had one. But instead he said,
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get an Alsatian.”

“So you really are not bored here? Joan and I
were thinking we’d come and visit you for a few days.”

John found it difficult to control his
reaction. His legs became restless, indicating that the tension in
him was unbearable. “No, don’t come here. I feel just great alone
in this house. I’ve told you a hundred times.”

“OK, if you say so, but I don’t like this
place very much.”

They stared at each other for a while,
speechless, until Ronald waved and got up. “If that’s the case,
I’ll go.” He kept looking around as if searching for something and
only slowly moved toward the door. When he was finally there, he
shook John’s hand and gave him a loose hug. “You know I’m always
worried about you.”

“I know, Ronald. Say hello to Joan and drive
carefully. Bye.”

“Bye.”

*

After the
third alarm, the voices upstairs were gone. Emely clearly heard
Ronald say goodbye and she felt great relief. She put Kitty on the
floor and started pacing up and down the room. She knew that if
Ronald saw her after he had nearly killed her once, he
wouldn
’t make the same mistake
twice.
This can’t go on. John
can’t keep me in here.

Cautiously she walked upstairs and opened the
door at the top of the stairs. She walked into the living room and
saw John sitting in his chair on the right, with a drink in his
hand.

“Why have you left your room?” he asked
sternly.

The tone of
his voice came as a complete surprise, as if he had slapped her.
She said
, “I-I w-was worried … and … I
wanted to ask you why Ronald came.”

“And what made you think he was gone?” he
asked in the same voice.

“I heard him leave.”

“And then you wanted to escape.”