Authors: Kelly Hashway
Cara
Within minutes, everyone is yelling. It feels like it’s all my fault. If only I could remember what happened at the school. Before I woke up in Logan’s arms, all that’s there is a vague memory of Mom, Jeremy, and the other Phoenixes. No actual memories. Only names and faces.
“We all need to calm down,” Linette says, taking a seat on the couch. “Yelling isn’t going to solve anything. We can’t even hear each other.”
“She’s right.” Mom pats my head like I’m a toddler. I guess I am in this life, but I’m still physically seventeen.
I step away, not wanting to touch anyone right now. I know she’s my mom, but she’s just as much a stranger to me as this Logan guy is. He said he loves me. Is that true? Or is he another Hunter, preying on me because I’m a newborn Phoenix? So many questions. That’s all I have, and it’s making my head hurt.
Logan scans the room. “Is anybody going to let me tell you what happened?”
Garret is standing at his side, apparently not willing to let Logan get more than two feet away from him. “I’m sure that would be very entertaining,” Garret says.
“Let him talk.” The words come tumbling out of my mouth. Everyone turns to me, and one corner of Logan’s mouth curves up. I look away, not sure how to act around him. Hell, I don’t know how to act at all. Thank God we only forget everything after our first rebirth because I couldn’t take going through this three more times before I die. If a Hunter doesn’t kill me before I live all five of my lives, that is.
Mom reaches for me, but I take a deep breath and shake my head. “I’m fine. I want to hear what Logan has to say. He was there with me. He didn’t hurt me when I woke up in his arms, so I think I owe it to him to hear him out.”
“You don’t owe anything to a Hunter, Cara,” Garret spits out.
Mom shoots him a look. “Garret, that isn’t helping.”
Logan starts toward me, and Garret grabs him.
“What do you think I’m going to do?” Logan asks, sounding equally frustrated and heartbroken. “I’m handcuffed, my palms are burned to crisps, and the last time I checked, I’m the only human in a room full of Phoenixes.”
Part of me wants to laugh because it sounds crazy, but so does burning to ashes and rising up out of them. Yet, here I am.
“He’s fine, Garret. Back off,” Monique says.
Logan gives Monique a small nod, and I can tell there’s some history there. I can’t help thinking I’m probably part of it.
I take a step toward Logan. “Do you know why I was at the school?”
“We were supposed to have a date, but you got a call from Nick. You said he needed a favor and you’d meet me soon.”
“Nick?” Monique’s eyes widen. “Was he at the school?”
“Yes.” Logan stares at me as if he’s trying to will the memories into my brain. “He lured Cara there. I’m not sure how, but while I was waiting for Cara to meet me, I got this weird call. It was Cara, and she was talking to Nick. He admitted he’d been watching her and that he killed Henry Baker.”
Gasps echo around the room. Henry Baker. I recognize the name. He’s a Phoenix. Or was. Ugh, I hate that I remember so little.
“Nick has been in this house so many times,” Mom says, furrowing her brow. “He hung out with Cara and taught Jeremy to play the guitar. How could we not have known?”
“Wait a minute.” Garret holds up his hand. “Why are you so quick to believe what Logan’s saying? I found
him
, not Nick, with Cara and the Phoenix dagger right after Cara had been reborn. I’d say the evidence is overwhelming.
Logan
is the Hunter, and he’s desperate to pin this on someone else.”
“Then where’s Nick?” Logan yells.
“I’ll go to his house and find out.” Garret heads for the door, but Mom stops him.
“It’s late. You’re not storming over there now. His parents will be furious. You have no reason to go searching for him tonight.”
“His parents,” Linette says, her eyebrows pulling together. “I’ve never even met them.”
Confused looks circulate the room, and then they all nod. What am I missing here? What did they figure out?
“Someone please explain this to me,” I say.
“Not a single person in this room has ever seen Nick’s parents,” Mom says. “That might mean Logan is telling the truth.”
“What do his parents have to do with anything?” I ask.
“Sweetie, Hunters—”
“Elisa, need I remind you that Logan is in the room?” Garret’s tone is reprimanding. “Until we prove what his part is in all of this, I don’t think we should be openly discussing anything in front of him.”
“If someone doesn’t tell me what’s going on, I’m going to burst.” My body feels like it’s on fire, but I control it. I don’t want to use any of my Phoenix abilities in front of Logan. Garret’s right about that. We can’t talk like this in front of someone who isn’t a Phoenix. Someone who might be a Hunter.
“Cara, please.” Logan stares at me, and I can see the hurt in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, but this is the only way.” I walk toward the kitchen, and Mom and Jeremy follow. They’ve been trying to keep their distance, give me space to process everything, but I can tell Mom is dying to hug me and assure me that everything will be okay. I can’t remember her doing it before, yet somehow I know she’s protective of me.
“You okay?” Jeremy asks me.
“I’m fine, but what’s the problem with Nick’s parents? And who is Nick anyway?”
Mom opens the bottom drawer next to the stove and pulls out a book. It looks like a photo album of some sort. “This is your memory book. We made it together. There are pictures of all your friends in here.” She flips forward and points to a guy with brown hair and brown eyes. “That’s Nick. He was one of your good friends. Jeremy’s too.”
I put my tea down on the center island and take the book from her. “I don’t remember.”
“I know, sweetie. That’s what this book is for.”
“You’ll have to relearn everyone’s names and faces, like I did,” Jeremy says. “You helped me through my rebirth, and I’ll help you through yours. You told me we were really close growing up.”
“I don’t remember,” I say again, sounding like a broken record.
Jeremy gives me a half smile. “I don’t either, so don’t feel bad. After I was reborn, I could tell it was true. You loved me.”
I’m not even sure what love is. None of this is making me feel better, just more freaked out. “What about Nick’s parents?”
“Hunters steal the essence of every Phoenix they kill,” Mom says. “It makes them appear younger than they are. If Nick really is a Hunter, then he very well could be a lot older than seventeen. His parents might not even be alive anymore. And if they are, they’re probably quite old by now.”
“I need to talk to Logan. I have to know what happened to Nick.” I put the photo album down and walk back into the living room. Everyone is arguing again, but Logan meets my eyes as soon as I enter the room. The fighting stops when Mom and Jeremy walk in behind me.
Mom sits down on the couch. “Logan, please go on. Tell us what happened after Cara called you.”
Logan’s gaze stays focused on me. “Nick said he was going to kill Cara and…” He shakes his head.
“And what?” Garret snaps.
“I didn’t understand it. He said he was going to strip her essence. What does that mean?”
“You don’t need to know,” Garret says. “Just go on.”
Logan flashes Garret a look that’s nothing short of pure hatred before continuing. “I took my dad’s car and went to the school. Nick had Cara locked in the chem lab, and I used a fire extinguisher to break the window in the door and force my way in. I blinded Nick with the fire extinguisher foam, but when I got inside, Cara was on fire. I tried to find a way to put the fire out, but Cara told me she was different and that the flames weren’t hurting her. She said she’s a Phoenix and would be reborn from her ashes. I thought she was talking crazy.”
“She was.” Garret gives me a look that says “
go along with it
.” He doesn’t want Logan to know what I am. That must mean he believes what Logan is saying. He doesn’t really think Logan is a Hunter. The problem is, Logan
already
knows we’re all Phoenixes. It’s too late to pretend we’re not.
“Don’t lie to me,” Logan says. “She said she wouldn’t remember me, and she doesn’t. Nick attacked me, and Cara burned him in the fire with her. Then she burned to a pile of ashes. I was there when she rose from those ashes, so don’t try to tell me I’m crazy or that Cara didn’t know what she was saying in that chem lab. She knew. She told me the truth.”
Garret sighs. “Well, then that’s not good news for you, Logan, because we can’t have people knowing about us.”
“So what, you’re going to kill me?” Logan glares at Garret for a moment before turning to me. His expression softens. “Do you really not remember me at all, Cara? None of it?”
I want to remember. Really I do. I know I’m breaking his heart, and I can’t stand it. I shake my head and look away.
“No one is killing anyone,” Mom said. “We all need to calm down and think about this rationally.”
Garret crosses his arms. “We can’t let him go. He could tell any number of people. And until I confirm that Nick is gone and his parents don’t exist, Logan isn’t leaving my sight.”
“You’re holding me hostage?” Logan’s eyes widen. “I would never hurt Cara.” He turns to Monique. “Monique, please, you have to know that. You know how I feel about her.”
Tears fill Monique’s eyes. “I do, Logan, but things are complicated.”
Garret’s face turns fiery red. “They aren’t complicated!” If he doesn’t control himself, he’ll start a fire right here in my house.
“She imprinted on him, Garret!” Mom blurts out. “It wasn’t a petty little crush. They’ve
imprinted
.” She emphasizes the word like it’s a curse or something. “Even if Cara doesn’t remember that, Logan does.”
“Imprinted?” Logan and I both say. We share a glance, neither of us having a clue what Mom is talking about. I remember the concept. It’s one of the Phoenix things that are ingrained in my memory, but I have no memory of imprinting on Logan.
Mom sighs and takes both my hands. “Sweetie, very soon after you met Logan, you imprinted on him. It’s the strongest bond a Phoenix can have, and it’s very rare. You were determined to get through your rebirth without forgetting him. You thought the imprint was strong enough to survive it. It’s the reason why you and Logan fell in love so quickly. Your feelings were real, and they were doubled by the imprint.”
If that’s true, then why don’t I remember it?
“I need some air. This is all too much.” I walk toward the door, but Logan rushes for it. Garret runs after him, tackling him to the floor. I jump back, not sure what to do. All I’m doing is watching the world around me with no clue how to react or how to make sense of anything. I’ve never felt so lost.
“Don’t lay a hand on her!” Garret presses Logan’s face into the floor, but Logan’s eyes are focused on me.
“Cara, please talk to me. Let me help you remember.”
I wrack my brain for any familiarity in his face, his voice, his eyes. Nothing. I can’t bear to be around him. The pressure to remember him is too overwhelming. “I’m sorry.” I rush to the basement door, fly down the steps, and flop face first onto the bed.
Jeremy closes the door and walks over to the bed, sitting down next to me. “You’ll get through this, Cara.”
I lift my head and face him. “How? I can’t remember anything. Logan says this Nick person tried to kill me but I killed him instead. Is that who I am? A murderer?”
“Look, if you really did kill Nick, then good. He deserved it for trying to hurt you. Plus, that’s one less Hunter in the world. That’s always a good thing.”
“How can you be so nonchalant about all this? I took a life. I don’t care if the guy was a murderer. That doesn’t make it right.”
“It sounds like it was self-defense. He had you and Logan cornered. You saved yourself, and Logan too, for that matter. You can’t blame yourself for that.”
“You don’t get it.” I sit up and look around at the pile of dirty laundry in the corner and the posters of bands littering the walls, realizing I must be in Jeremy’s room. God, I can’t even run off correctly. I have no clue where my own room is. I don’t know anything. My mind is a fuzzy blur, which isn’t helping anyone.
“Where’s my room?”
“Upstairs, first door on your right.”
I rush past him and up the stairs. I pause at the door because I overhear Mom and Monique talking about me.
“None of us knows much about imprinting. It’s too rare, but the imprint is clearly still on that boy,” Monique says. “That means it might still be on Cara too.”
“No.” Mom’s voice shakes. “Do you understand what that would mean for her? If she taps into that imprint, remembers she loves him, it will only mean heartbreak for her. She’ll outlive him. Spend her lives loving him, long after he’s gone.” Her words come out as sobs.