Authors: Kelly Hashway
Cara
My heart stops. Is she alive? Is Mom healing her? Logan stands up and reaches for me, but I rush to Jeremy.
“What happened? Is she okay?”
“Garret found her in time. He must have scared the Hunters off.”
Hunters—plural. For the first time it registers that there are more than one. “How many?”
“Two. They ransacked Linette’s house. No clue what they were looking for, but she caught them in the act when she got home.”
“Who are they?” Logan asks.
“They were wearing ski masks, so she didn’t see their faces.”
“So we know nothing. Jer, Garret told me there was another stabbing not far from here.” I look at Logan, knowing he’s going to flip. “And the Hunters left a note. For me.”
Logan grabs my arm. “What do you mean for you?”
“I don’t know. That’s what Garret said. They know who I am, and I’m sure they came to Ashlan Falls looking for me. They must have found Linette instead.”
Logan tightens his grip on me. “That’s it. You’re coming to stay with me.”
Jeremy steps toward Logan, his hand raised like he’s ready to hurl a fireball at Logan’s head. “Like hell she is.”
“Stop it, both of you. I’m not going to sit here and listen to you two decide what’s best for me. We need to focus on Linette right now. We can deal with everything else later.”
Logan finally breaks eye contact with Jeremy and gently tugs on my arm. “Cara, I can’t sit back and wait for them to attack you. They missed you the first time. I’m not willing to chance it again.”
The love in his eyes overwhelms me. Why can’t I remember loving him? “Jer, could you give us a minute?”
“What? Why? Linette needs us.”
“She’s with Mom. That’s the best thing for her. Mom doesn’t need all of us crowding her at the hospital while she’s trying to heal Linette.”
Jeremy shakes his head, the look on his face conveying nothing short of “cut the crap.” “That might be true, but it’s not why you’re saying it. I don’t like this, Cara.”
“Duly noted. Now go call Mom and see if she wants us to meet her there or wait here.”
Jeremy narrows his eyes at me and grabs his keys off the counter. “Whatever. Do what you want. I’m going to the hospital.” He slams the door behind him before I can remind him that he only has a learner’s permit.
“Cara, he’s right,” Logan says. “You should go.”
“There’s nothing I can do for Linette. Mom’s her best chance at surviving, and from the sound of it, she’s going to be okay.”
“They’re going to hate me more if they think I’m the reason you’re not there.”
He
is
the reason. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I feel the pull toward him. I don’t know if it’s the imprint or if I’m only attracted to him in a human way.
“This is my decision. No one else’s.”
“You’re stubborn, you know that?”
“You weren’t wrong about us.”
“I know.” He’s not being cocky. He truly believes he’s right.
“I didn’t mean to push it before by cuddling up with you during the movie. I know I’m sending you mixed signals. I’m pushing you away one minute and trying to get in your arms the next.”
“Don’t ever apologize for trying to get into my arms. I’ll gladly hold you whenever you want me to.” He steps closer, tilting his head down and letting me know he’ll gladly kiss me too.
“I don’t think I’m ready for that.”
“You’re afraid the imprint is still there.”
“I know it is.”
His face falls. “What do I have to do to prove that I’m in love with you and that’s why I can’t stay away?”
Stay away
. The answer smacks me in the face. It’s the only way to protect him, keep him away from the Hunters. “If you want to prove it, then keep your distance. For a little while. If you still feel the same way after that, I won’t push you away anymore.”
He narrows his eyes. “What are you saying? How long do you want me to stay away from you?”
“One week.”
Hopefully we can catch the Hunters by then.
“We tried this already, Cara. It didn’t work.”
“We didn’t try to keep away from each other.”
“Yes, we did. When your mother tried to break us up. You dumped me. We were apart for a week, and I didn’t love you any less. If anything, I wanted you more, and it was the same for you.” He rubs the back of his neck, and I can tell he’s debating whether or not to tell me more. He sighs and finally says, “We made out on top of Henry Baker’s grave in the middle of his memorial service when we got back together.”
I inhale sharply, unable to believe I’d do something like that, something so disrespectful to Henry’s memory.
“That’s awful.”
“No, it was incredible. You stood up to your mom and brother. You told them you loved me and nothing was going to keep us apart. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. The timing with the funeral wasn’t great, but…” He shrugs.
“
One
of the happiest moments?” As soon as I say it, I realize what his happiest moment with me must have been. That day at the falls when I lost my virginity to him. “Oh.”
He reaches for my hands. “The happiest moment in my life was when you were reborn from your ashes.”
Oh, crap. He
is
the most romantic guy ever. He cares more about me than sex. How many teenage guys could honestly say that?
“Cara, nearly all of my best and worst moments have been with you. Don’t you see? You changed me. When I came here, I was ready to jump on a bus and get my ass back to New York. Then I met you. You didn’t throw yourself at me. You made me earn the right to be with you, and I respected you for that. I always knew you were different, and when you told me you were a Phoenix, I swear I loved you more because it confirmed what I knew all along. You’re special. You’ll live multiple lives because you deserve to. You’re the most incredible person to walk the Earth. And
that’s
why I’ll never stop fighting for us. I’ll face the wrath of the other Phoenixes, Hunters, and even death, because you’re worth it. You’re everything to me.”
My eyes burn with tears, and I can’t take it anymore. I’m done with holding back. I’m done with caring about a stupid imprint. One second I’m staring into Logan’s blue-gray eyes and the next my lips are crushing his. He moans and wraps his arms around me. My head spins and I part my lips, deepening the kiss. His touch is so intense I expect all my memories to come flooding back. But they don’t. Not a single one. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he lifts me off the floor, carrying me over to the couch and laying me down. He pulls back enough to look into my eyes.
“My God, Cara, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” His lips are back on mine before I can respond, which is good because I can’t say the same in return. I can’t deny that I could kiss him all day or that I have feelings for him, but I can’t miss what I don’t remember having to begin with.
He lowers himself onto me, and as much as I love the feeling of his body pressed against mine, I pull away, turning my head. “Logan, I can’t do this.”
He lifts himself off me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get carried away. I just…” He’s breathing heavily and he looks terrified that I’ll bolt from the room.
“It’s okay. Really,” I assure him.
He offers me his hand and helps me to a sitting position. “It won’t happen again.”
I pull him down so he’s sitting next to me. “I’m not mad, so you don’t have to worry.”
“You should be mad. I let my stupid hormones take over.”
“I’m sure we’ve had much more heated make-out sessions.”
He exhales long and hard. “You have no idea.”
Judging by the way he’s looking at me now, I think I have a pretty good idea. I clear my throat and turn away, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Mom and Jeremy will probably be home soon, and I’m guessing things are going to get intense from there.”
He sits forward on the couch. “And you want me out of here before they get back.”
“No.”
He can’t leave. As much as I hate it, he’s still under our watch. Without Linette to go home to, Logan’s stuck here.
“Are you saying that because it’s what you want or because you don’t want to deal with the wrath of Garret if he finds out I’m no longer under Phoenix supervision?”
“What if I said both?”
“Then I’d appreciate your honesty.” He reaches for my hand. “What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to be to you?”
He thinks the kiss changed everything, and that I’ve given in to the idea of being with him again. I don’t think I can. Garret sure as hell wouldn’t allow it, and Mom would be heartbroken, even though my imprint hasn’t returned. She’ll think it’s a sign, and not just human emotion at play.
“Cara?” His fingertips brush my cheek, but I turn away.
“I don’t know, Logan. This is all so confusing. And with everything that’s going on with the Hunters…Being with you puts you at risk.” He starts to protest, and I raise my hand to stop him. “I know you said you don’t care about the Hunters, but I do. You’ve seen what happens to me when I’m around you. I lose control of my Phoenix abilities, and that’s not what I need right now.”
I’m supposed to be able to blend in better now that I’m a full-fledged Phoenix, but my feelings for Logan have changed the rules. Apparently, my hormones are stronger than my powers.
“So what are you saying?”
I shouldn’t have kissed him. All it did was give him false hope. Now the only thing left to do is rip the Band-Aid off as quickly as possible. I owe him that much.
“I did what you asked. I kissed you.” My eyes fill with tears. “But I still don’t remember you. I’m really sorry, Logan, but I can’t be with you when you love me and—”
“You don’t love me back.” He buries his face in his hands. “God, I really want to hit something right now.”
The front door opens and Mom and Jeremy walk in, guiding Linette between them. She looks awful, pale and barely able to support her own weight. I jump up from the couch.
“Is she okay?”
Mom looks back and forth between Logan and me. How she can tell something happened is a mystery to me, but she clearly knows and isn’t happy about it. “Cara, go get some cool washcloths for Linette.”
I nod and walk to the bathroom.
“I’ll help you,” Logan says, following me. “Linette doesn’t look good,” he says once we’re out of earshot.
“This is bad. If Mom couldn’t heal her…”
I can’t think about it. We already lost Henry Baker. I can’t lose Linette too. We have to find out who these Hunters are and get rid of them. While I wet the washcloths in the bathroom sink, I stare at my reflection. When I was reborn, I hated the idea that I’d killed another human being, even if he was a Hunter, even if he did try to kill me. Now that I think about it, I killed Henry Baker’s murderer, and I’m okay with that. I have to find the Hunters who did this to Linette.
And I have to kill them too.
Logan
All the Phoenixes gather in Cara’s living room, and no one seems to even notice me anymore. They’re all worried about Linette, who is lying on the couch looking like someone tried to skewer her, which I guess they did. According to Garret, they missed her heart, which is why she’s still alive.
“So there’s something in the dagger that we can’t fight? It did something to Linette that none of us can heal?” Cara’s hands shake, and she can’t take her eyes off Linette.
“Yes,” her mother says. “I tried everything. I was able to heal the damage to her head, but that was all.”
“What damage to her head?” I ask, and everyone turns to me like they’re just registering my presence.
Garret looks at Mrs. Tillman, who shrugs and says, “There’s not much he doesn’t know at this point, and it’s obvious he isn’t going anywhere. You might as well tell him.”
Garret clears his throat. “The Hunters hit Linette over the head and knocked her out so she couldn’t use her abilities on them. I walked in and saw her lying on the floor in front of the fireplace. When they saw me, the one with the dagger stabbed her and then both Hunters ran off.”
“So they’re afraid of you?”
“I caught them off guard and I can control fire, so yes, in the moment I scared them.” Garret leans against the fireplace mantel. “But Hunters are smart. They know how to incapacitate us. ” He motions to Linette. “We can’t fight back if we’re unconscious.”
For a cop with superhuman powers, he sure is acting like a pussy. “There are more of you than there are of them. Take the fight to them. Stop running like a bunch of cowards and end this.”
Cara reaches for my arm. “Logan, it’s not that simple. If we go looking for a fight, it will expose us all.”
Garret nods. “Glad to see you’re thinking clearly, Cara.” He looks at everyone in turn. “We can’t do anything that will draw attention to ourselves. They obviously know about Linette and me now, and…” His gaze falls on Cara.
“I want to see the note,” she says. “If they want me so badly they left me a message, I want to read it.”
Mrs. Tillman shakes her head and clenches her jaw. “Absolutely not. I don’t know how they found out about you, but you will not get involved. Neither will Jeremy. You’re both still only children.”
“Whoa.” Jeremy raises his hands. “Cara and I stopped being kids the moment we were reborn.”
“You’re teenagers. That hasn’t changed.” Mrs. Tillman looks like she’s about to burst into flames.
“She’s right,” I say, and everyone looks at me. “If they want Cara, we have to keep her hidden.”
Mrs. Tillman looks relieved to have someone agree with her, even if it’s me. “Then it’s settled,” she says.
“What’s settled?” Jeremy’s face reddens.
“We’re leaving Ashlan Falls,” Mrs. Tillman says, sounding more authoritative than Garret ever has. “If they think we’re here, then we’re gone.”
“No!” Cara’s outburst is followed by a puff of smoke. “I’m not going. This is our home. If we leave, I’ll never—”
Garret moves forward and grips Cara by her shoulders. “You’re not going to remember your past life. You need to stop thinking you will and grow up.”
Cara’s gaze shifts to me for a second before she glares at Garret. “I hate you.” She pulls out of his grasp and runs out of the room.
I try to rush after her, but Garret grabs my arm. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough? This is your fault. If you weren’t here, Cara would leave. She wouldn’t fight us.”
His words only give me hope. Maybe Cara does want to stay because of me. I shake Garret’s hand off my arm. “If you want her to go, I’ll go with her.”
“Like hell you will.” Garret’s hot breath hits me in the face, and the cinnamon smell is overwhelming.
“Better get control over your Phoenix traits before they get you in even more trouble,” I taunt him.
“Are you threatening me?” He steps closer, and I don’t back away. “I could end you in seconds.”
“Enough!” Monique snaps, pulling us apart. “For whatever reason, Logan is getting through to Cara. He’s having an effect on her.” Mrs. Tillman shakes her head, but Monique continues. “I’m not saying it’s the imprint at work, but Cara obviously cares about Logan. Our best chance of getting Cara to leave is taking Logan with us.”
“Should I go talk to her now before she loses it and burns her room to the ground?” I motion up the stairs and start backing toward them.
“Go.” Mrs. Tillman waves me out of the room, and I run up the stairs before anyone can protest.
Cara’s door is shut, so I knock. “Cara, it’s me.”
“I want to be alone right now.” By the quiver in her voice, I can tell she’s crying.
“I’m not leaving, so you can either let me in or we can talk through the door.” Seconds pass with no response, and when I’m about to plead with her again, the doorknob jiggles but doesn’t open. She must have unlocked it. I turn the knob and push the door open. Cara is standing just inside the room, and her gaze meets mine. I step forward and pull her into my arms.
“Logan, please. I can’t do this.”
“I’m only hugging you. Any friend would do the same.”
“You can let go now.” I lower my arms, and Cara turns toward her bed. “I’m really not in the mood to talk.”
“Okay, then I’ll talk.” I sit down on the edge of her bed and look up at her. “I know what I said down there, but I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want you to go.”
She wipes the tears from her cheek and cocks her head at me. “Why? I thought you wanted to keep me safe like everyone else.”
“I do, but I’m being selfish. I can’t go with you. My dad would never allow it, and I’m not willing to lose you.”
“We aren’t together anymore, Logan.”
“You kissed me.”
“I know.” Her eyes lower to her feet.
“You liked it too.”
“I know.” Her voice shakes. “But it doesn’t mean—”
I stand up and press my finger to her lips. “Don’t say it doesn’t mean anything, because that’s bullshit.” I lower my finger and stare at her lips. “I think you’d let me kiss you again right now.”
“Don’t.” The word is barely audible, like she’s not sure if she really means it.
“Why? Because I’m right? Because you wouldn’t stop me? Because you’d kiss me back?” I reach for her cheek, brushing my fingers down the side of it, and she leans into my touch. “You’re drawn to me every bit as much as I’m drawn to you. You don’t want to leave Ashlan Falls because you don’t want to leave
me
.”
“I don’t want to leave because my memories are here.”
“You told me your family moved around a lot. This hasn’t always been your home.” I step into her, burying my hand in her hair and cupping the back of her head. “Your memories are with me. That’s what you’re trying to hold on to. You feel things with me, and while you don’t remember, it’s familiar to you.”
Thank God Garret took away my cell phone because if Anton got wind of any of this, he’d kick my ass. I lean my face toward Cara’s, determined to make her admit her feelings for me, but she turns her head away from me.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
I lower my hand and step away from her, walking to the window and looking out. “Don’t apologize.”
“I won’t do this to you. I won’t lead you on.”
So she’ll break my heart. “I should go.”
“You can’t. Linette’s not well enough to—”
“Babysit me?” I whirl around and look at her. I’m not sure how I can love her so much and be so angry at the same time. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I can’t force her to remember me and I’m only going to cause us both more heartache. I can’t stand what I’ve become because of all of this. My body shakes with the decision I know I have to make. “I’m only causing more problems for you, so I’m going to grant your wish.”
She furrows her brow. “What wish?”
“I’m going to leave, let this imprint fade.” Because really what else can I do? Cara’s resisting every urge in her body, and I won’t be the guy who forces a girl to be with him. It’s pathetic. “I’m going to ask my dad if I can spend the rest of the summer in New York with Anton. You guys won’t have to worry about having to waste your time watching me anymore. I’ll be out of your hair.”
“Logan, that’s not what I want.”
I walk over to her and fight the urge to grab her waist and pull her into a kiss she’ll never forget. “What
do
you want?”
She takes a deep breath before meeting my eyes. “I want my life back.”
“Even if I’m a part of it?”
“I told you I want you in my life.”
I scoff. “But as your friend, right?”
“Why is that a bad thing?”
“Because I love you, Cara. Because looking at you and not having you look back at me the same way is killing me. It’s torture.” I reach for her hand. “Tell me you’re willing to let me in, open your heart to the idea of us being together again, and I’ll stay. I’ll stay and I’ll help you with all this Hunter crap. I’ll do everything I can to protect you.”
My eyes search hers, looking for the girl I fell in love with. The girl who couldn’t keep away from me no matter how hard she tried. She’s not there.
“Go to New York, Logan,” she says, her face void of emotion.
I let go of her hand and nod. “Good-bye, Cara.” I walk out of her room and down the stairs, marching right up to Garret and extending my hand. “Give me my phone.”
He looks down at my hand like it’s a steaming pile of dog crap. “Is this a joke?”
“I’m done with all of this. I’m going back to New York. You won’t have to worry about me anymore. I’ll keep your secret. As far as I’m concerned, Phoenixes don’t exist.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cara standing at the bottom of the stairs. I turn to look at her. “None of you do.”
She stiffens, and for a moment I think maybe she didn’t mean what she said in her room, but then she says, “Garret, let him go.”
Garret exchanges looks with the others who all nod in consent. They want me gone as much as I want to be gone. He takes my cell from his back pocket and hands it to me. “If you tell anyone about us, anyone at all, I will hunt you down.”
I glare at him and walk out of the house without looking at anyone else. The front door slams behind me, and I dial Anton. Thankfully, my battery still has a little charge.
“Logan? Man, where the hell have you been? I’ve left you about thirty messages.”
“Long story, but I’m better now. Me again.”
“Does that mean you ditched the chick with the crazy-ass hair?”
“Yeah, you could say that.” I lengthen my stride, putting distance between me and the girl who used to be my world.
“Welcome back to the land of hot chicks, my man.”
“Speaking of welcome back, think I can crash on your couch for a while?”
“You mean the city boy is coming home?”
“Yeah.”
And it’s about time.