Authors: Brei Betzold
Chapter
30
Dinner
was a tense affair. Simon spent most of dinner giving dirty looks around the
table, but seemed to single out Thayne and myself. I really didn’t care if he
was mad at this point, since I was still pissed off at him and everyone else
for hiding things from me that affect me.
“Cas
will be here in the morning,” Simon growled eventually.
I
shrugged, “We have to be at the shop in the morning,” I reminded him.
“Why,
were leaving the competition anyway?” he retorted.
“You
are free to go,” I told him, “all of you are, but I am not quitting.”
“Why
are you being so stupid?” he yelled.
“Simon,”
I said quietly, “when have I ever quit on anything in my life?”
He
sighed and looked away. “Never,” he mumbled.
I
nodded, “And I am not starting now.”
Dinner
ended soon after that and I walked Thayne, Nikki, and Matt to the door. “I’ll
see you tomorrow,” I murmured, Nikki and Matt said bye leaving me with Thayne.
Thayne
leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips then another to my forehead.
“Sweet dreams, Bella,” he whispered then left I shut and locked the door then
leaned my forehead against it.
“Looks
like things are going well with the two of you.”
I
looked over at Cam holding a sleeping Zadok. “Yeah, they are.”
She
nodded, “Good, you deserve to be happy. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I
followed her and went to my own room grabbing PJs and went to take a quick
shower then curled up in bed.
I
woke up in a cold sweat and shaking, dead eyes, that’s all I remembered about
my dream, dead grey blue eyes. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was
a little after five am, no point in trying to go back to sleep, not that I
thought I could. I rolled out of bed trying to forget the sight of those eyes
looking at me sightless but I wasn’t able to shake it off.
I
made a beeline for the coffee pot getting it started quickly. I stood there
staring at it slowly dripping into the carafe below, but instead of seeing what
was in front of me I saw those familiar eyes staring back at me. I shook it
off, grabbed the carafe, and pushed my cup under the flow waiting for it to
fill. When it finally did, I once again switched it back. I took a slow drink
of the hot liquid and went to the living room curling up on the couch and
reached out, snagging my sketchpad.
I
drank my coffee and sketched getting lost in another world. Sometimes losing
myself in drawing helped me forget my problems. Only this time it didn’t work,
I knew that Cas and I would end up in another argument, and I wasn’t looking
forward to it. I knew that they all thought that I was being obstinate because
of Thayne, only that wasn’t it. I had wanted this, my own shop, for as long as
I could remember. Now that I was so close to obtaining the startup money I
would need, I wouldn’t—couldn’t quit.
I
knew Cas didn’t understand. He had the always known that he would inherit
Ace’s shop, but he bucked against the idea and joined the Marines instead. I
though, had only had that dream. I had always liked getting dirty, figuring out
problems and fixing them. On top of that, I absolutely loved designing
projects and seeing them completed, especially the aesthetic side. Painting,
sketching, it all came naturally to me, and I loved working out new ideas to
create what I saw as works of art that had a functional purpose.
I
was so close to making my dreams come to fruition that I wouldn’t back down now
regardless if it angered Cas in the process. He had talked about joining us at
one point, but in reality, I didn’t care if he did or not. I knew he didn’t
enjoy the work as much as I did. To him it was something to fall back on. I
didn’t know what his dreams were since he never told me, regardless if I asked,
he would say he was happy with the way things were. I always knew though that
he gave things up for me and I hated that. I hated being the one to put that
haunted look in his eyes.
“You
okay?”
I
looked up and found Kale looking down at me I smiled up at him. “Yeah, just
thinking.”
“Anything
I can help with?”
“I
don’t think so.”
“He’s
scared, Scout” Kale said, “there’s been a lot going on.”
I
nodded, “A lot no one will tell me about.”
“Which
I don’t agree with, but Cas and Simon are…” he stalled.
“In
charge?”
He
looked away. “In the past yes, now I’m not sure anymore. You’ve changed since
we came here, hell, you were changing before we came here. It can’t be easy on
them. I think it may be worse for you. And I don’t know what’s brought on the
change in you but I think it was going to happen sooner or later no matter
what.”
I
sighed and rolled my eyes. “Why does everyone think he’s out to hurt me? I
trust him.”
“I
know you do, which only scares them more, because until now you didn’t trust
anyone, not even them. Now there’s this guy who you talk to, really talk to,”
he said looking over at me. “Do you understand? Cas comes home planning on
being Prince Caspian again, and instead it’s Thayne—he’s the one you run to,
open up to, trust.”
“I’m
hurting them,” I whispered.
“Yeah
you are, but it’s not intentional. You’ve found someone who isn’t out to fix
you, because he sees nothing broken.” Kale sighed. “Just be gentle with them,
well as gentle as they let you, because they’re both fighting to keep you, and
you’re fighting to get away. Someone’s going to end up hurt.”
“And
Thayne? What do I do about him?”
“That
I can’t tell you, you need to figure that on your own.”
“Thanks
for the help,” I muttered.
“If
I told you then you wouldn’t appreciate it like you will when you finally do
figure it out,” he told me and leaned down kissing my cheek.
“Love
you, Kale,” I told him.
“I
know you do, Scout, you love all of us, but it’s time for you to live your life
now.”
With
that, he turned and headed towards the bathroom. I sighed and leaned back on
the couch, I had a lot to think over and in a short time.
When
Thayne showed up to drop off Nikki I was pulling my helmet on. I gave them a
wave and started Stella. I pulled out of the driveway and hit the throttle. I
had left early to avoid another run in with Simon. I wasn’t up to it this
morning, and I didn’t want to chance Cas showing up before I left either. I
had already been told second hand that I was to stay at the house and wait for
him to get there. Well, I had things I needed to do other than sit around with
my thumb up my ass waiting for him. I had five hundred thousand dollars to
win. He could wait until I was finished for the day with that goal before he
started yelling at me and telling me what to do.
I
was one of the first into the building and waved at the new security guards.
The TV show finally decided that it would be a good idea to increase their
security staff, so they added two more last week. I wasn’t sure what good it
would do, but it was nice having them around even if it was an illusion. I
went to the rest area, grabbing a cup of coffee, and sat down at one of the
couches. Finally, more people began to stream in, it was a little strange,
when we first started this venture there were six teams, and we were now down
to three. Ours, Matt’s, and Thayne’s were all that was left, and I didn’t want
any of them to leave.
“Seraph,”
Matt said sitting down beside me, “you’re here early.”
“Eh,
didn’t feel like staying around the house.”
“Rough
morning?”
“More
confusing, I guess.”
“Ready
for this, last one left before the final.”
“Yeah,
it’s going to tough beating you.”
“Oh
you wish, Seraph, I have age and experience.”
“Mmm
and I am young and have new ideas.”
“So
are you going back to San Diego after you lose?” he asked. “Or staying around
for here?”
“Oh
I’ll be staying around so I can see your face when we win the vote.”
He
laughed. “We’ll see. What about Thayne, he headed home if they lose?”
I
shrugged, “Haven’t talked about it.”
“Might
want to, seems you two have gotten close, and I don’t want to see you hurt.”
“Haven’t
had time to talk about it.”
“Make
time, Scout.”
I
nodded and watched him get up and head over to his guys. I was starting to
wonder if mine were going to show or not, but they chose to show up at the last
minute, all three of them.
“So
today’s mini challenge is a show of physical strength, you will all choose one
team member to kick start a bike,” Eddie began. “You will get three tries
each, the one to get it started the quickest wins, if there’s a tie we will go
again.”
“So
who’s doing this?” I asked.
“You
are,” said Liam and Kale nodded.
“Simon?”
He
shrugged, “Doesn’t really matter, does it?”
I
rolled my eyes and stepped forward. Thayne’s team found it amusing and began
to laugh, Matt’s team all groaned. I smiled over at Matt and he winked at me.
Thayne watched me curiously, what his team didn’t seem to understand is that I
had been doing this since I was little. Ace had once told me that the only way
he would let me hang out in the shop was if I could kick start a bike. I was
five years old, so they brought in this mini bike, and I kick started it. He
had to let me hang out then, because all the guys had heard the deal, and he
hated that I had won.
I
sat back and watched the guy from Ace & Lace come up and try, on his third
kick the bike kicked back and he didn’t get out of the way. I winced, there
was a nasty bruise in the making. Next up was one of Matt’s guys. I remembered
him from working at Ace’s, and he had the engine roaring on the third kick.
After it was shut off, it was my turn. I walked up to the old shovelhead and instead
of straddling it like the others, I stood over at the side. I put one foot
firmly on the kick-start and the other on the ground. I picked my foot up and
slammed it down hard, nothing. I readjusted my hold on the handlebars and did
it again, slamming down hard again, and it roared to life. I quickly gave it
some gas and smiled at Eddie.
I
walked by Thayne’s team all of them staring at me as if they hadn’t seen me
before, and Matt’s team shaking their heads. Kale and Liam greeted me with
smiles and high fives while Simon barely gave me a nod.
“So
the next challenge you will all be given a stock seven gallon tank. You are to
fabricate a tank of your design using the stock tank as a base. You will then
give it a custom paint job, as was stated at the last mini challenge the
winning team will not gain an advantage since we are towards the end. You have
two hours to work out a plan for your tank, get to work.”
With
that, we were off to our stalls, I immediately went for my sketch pad and
pencils “Ideas?”
From
that, we went to work. Simon started to finally get into it and threw out some
ideas as well. At the end of the two hour time limit, we had a sketch ready,
and a plan for how to tackle the challenge.
Chapter
31
I
walked into the house and heard laughter. I went towards the living room and
found Cam, Nikki, and some girl I didn’t know sitting around talking. I leaned
against the doorjamb and watched them. They were all at ease with one another
talking, laughing, and I wondered if I would ever be able to do that with
women. It wasn’t that I disliked women, it was that I didn’t know how to
relate. I was raised with men, my friends were men, and they were what I
knew. I sighed and walked in waving at Cam and Nikki.
“Hey
Scout,” Nikki said waving back at me, “how was work?”
“It
was good, I showed up a bunch of men, that’s always fun.”
She
looked at me like I confused her, “Why do you do it?”
“Do
what?”
“Work
on bikes and all that?”
I
shrugged, “It’s what I love.”
“Huh,”
she said still looking at me strangely, “I haven’t met any women who work with
my brother.”
“There
aren’t many in the industry,” I told her, “but I don’t really care about that.
I’m not in it to be the token female. I’m in it because I like to do it and I’m
good at it.”
“Well
aren’t you full of yourself?” asked Thayne behind me, I looked over and smiled
at him.
“Yes
I am, and if I am not mistaken I beat you today.”
“You
did,” he nodded, “and freaked out my team.”
I
shrugged, “Oh well.”
“All
right, we need to go. Come on, Nikki you have a book to read.”
“But
I don’t want to,” she whined, “it’s so boring.”
“What
are you reading?” I asked as she got up and gathered her stuff.
“A
book for school, we have to read a list of books before school starts.”
“Ah,”
I said, “well, have fun.”
I
walked Thayne and Nikki out. Thayne kissed my cheek and winked at me before
walking out the door. I shut it and went back to the living room eyeing the
person I didn’t know.
“So,”
I said looking back and forth between them.
“Cas
is here,” Cam told me.
I
nodded, “I saw his truck, do you know where he left Angel?”
“He
said he left her in San Diego, he wanted the truck to haul things home.”
“Mmm
I am sure he did, where is he?”
“Packing,”
she told me watching me wearily, “your room.”
“Mmm,”
I said again then spun on my heel and headed towards my bedroom.
“What
are you doing?” I asked him trying to remain calm, my bags were out and he was
tossing my clothes in them.
“Packing,”
he barked.
“Why
my stuff?”
“Because
we’re leaving.”
“Fine,
leave, but why are you packing my stuff?”
“Because,
Scout,” he growled, “you are leaving.”
“Nope.”
“I
didn’t fucking ask,” he shouted.
“No,
you never do, do you?” I asked still trying to remain calm. “You order and I
obey, but not this time, Cas. I am not leaving until I win, then I am going
home, buying my shop, and living my life.”
“You’re
not buying the shop,” he told me. “Saul already knows, I told him while I was
there.”
“And
I told you that that was up to the
girl
not you,” growled Saul from
behind me.
I
spun around and smiled up at my grandpa. “Saul,” I squealed and hugged him.
He
patted my back. “Girl,” he said pushing me back a little, “you look happy.”
“I
am happy,” I told him honestly.
Cas
made a low sound and I turned and looked at him. “And I am buying that shop.”
“No
you aren’t, I’ve made my decision.”
“Your
decision?” I asked quietly. “Am I using your money to buy it? Have I asked you
for money to buy it? I don’t fucking think so, it’s my decision,” I finished
yelling at him, I pulled myself back and took a deep breath—calm.
“No
it’s not Scout, don’t you get that? You don’t make decisions, you lost that
privilege.”
I
snorted, “How did I manage to lose something I never had?”
“Because
you let that fucker rape you!” He screamed.
I
felt more than saw Saul take a step toward Cas. “Boy, that is enough,” he
growled.
“No
Saul, not this time, she needs to realize what she did to us. She needs to
stop being so goddamn selfish for once!” he shouted.
“Will
someone fucking tell me what’s going on for once?” I screamed.
“I’m
getting married, Scout. We’re moving to Tennessee where her family lives. I
don’t want to work in a goddamn shop all my life!” he yelled. “Holly’s dad has
offered me a job, a new life, and I am taking it, so that means we’re moving,
and that means no shop.”
I
stood there staring at my brother wondering when he stopped telling me things,
when he started hating me. Because he was looking at me like he hated me and
it hurt.
I
shook my head, “You go, live your life, Cas, but I am not moving.”
He
laughed but there was no humor to it. When was the last time I had heard Cas
really laugh?
“Live
my life,” he muttered, “that’s a great idea, and I am trying. I left my girl
in the sandbox to come and pick up the pieces of your life, and you tell me to
go live my life.”
I
was confused, “You left your girl?”
He
grunted and started tossing more stuff at my bags. “Yeah, I left my girl, she’s
was a nurse for our unit, and I left her there unprotected so I could come and
deal with your shit.”
I
looked over at Saul who was watching us sadly. “I didn’t ask you to come home,
Cas. I thought your whole unit was coming home, that’s how you made it sound.”
“You
never fucking asked, Scout!” He yelled. “It’s just assumed that I will swoop in
and fix your messes. Well this time, this time we are doing what I fucking
want.”
“Then
do what you want, Cas” I told him, “no one is stopping you.”
“You,
you are fucking stopping me, Scout. It’s always what’s best for Scout, oh we
can’t let her get upset, oh we can’t tell her this, she has to do this, it’s
always about protecting Scout.”
“The
fucking stop protecting me!” I screamed. “I am not fourteen years fucking old
anymore.”
“You
want me to stop protecting you?” he growled. “Want me to tell you everything?
Fine, I’ll fucking tell you then, I am done, Scout.”
“Cas,”
Saul barked but we both ignored him staring at each other.
“How
about we start with what happened to you?” he yelled. “You should have left,
you should have fought.”
“I
did fight you fucking bastard. I fought and I lost over and fucking over. He
took everything from me!” I screamed. “He raped me over and over and I
couldn’t stop him. He beat me, burned me, cut me, took away my chance to have
a family, and I fought until I couldn’t anymore.”
“You
didn’t fight hard enough!” he yelled into my face.
“Fuck
you, Cas,” I shouted back. “You weren’t fucking there. You left me with him,
so you don’t get to tell me what I should have done.”
“Yeah,
you’re right, I left you there, and I will always be sorry that I did, and I tried
to make amends to you,” he whispered, “but I can’t.”
I
spun around and pushed Saul out my way and headed towards the living room.
“Thought you wanted the truth,” he bellowed.
“Then
fucking tell me the truth for once, Cas and stop blaming me for things I
couldn’t control!” I yelled back.
He
grabbed my arm and spun me around. “I lost my father for you, you still have
yours in your life but mine? He wants nothing to do with me.”
I
just stared at him, hearing his words but they didn’t register.
“What?”
I breathed.
“Oh
Ace isn’t your dad, Scout. We found that out while you were in the hospital,
your real dad didn’t want you either,” he yelled.
“Cas,
that’s enough,” I heard the girl I had seen before tell him and walk up and put
a hand on his arm. “This is not the way.”
“No
Holly, I think it is. She wants to hear it so let her hear it. Matt is your
dad, Scout, not Ace. He and mom had an affair. He’s known all your life and
never said a fucking word.”
“No,”
I whispered looking at the faces surrounding me, Kale and Liam looked shocked,
Cam and Simon looked sad, and Saul looked pissed.
“You
are done,” Saul growled, “leave her alone, now!” he yelled.
“Why,
she said she can handle it, she’s all better now,” Cas said sarcastically. “I
left her there for you, so I could make sure you weren’t locked up once again
for being crazy, but maybe I should fucking let them have you this time.”
I
glared up at my brother. “Fuck you Cas, go live your goddamn life and stay the
fuck out of mine.”
“See
I can’t, since I am in charge of your life, you made me in charge for your
life.”
“I
fucking hate you!” I screamed.
He
nodded, “That’s fine, I don’t really give a shit anymore.”
“Cas,”
Simon barked, “stop.”
“Don’t
worry I’m done,” he said grabbing the girl’s hand and storming out of the room.
“Is
it true?” I whispered and looked at Simon.
“Yeah,
Scout.”
“Why
didn’t you tell me?”
“Because
when we found out you weren’t capable of understanding.”
“And
after?”
“After
it was easier, no one wanted to upset you.”
“Anything
else I need to know?”
They
all looked at each other.
“What?”
I yelled.
“You’ve
been getting threats along with the stuff that’s been happening.”
I
nodded and went for the front door. I had to get away, these were my friends,
my family and they had all been lying to me. I was on Stella and riding away
but I didn’t know where to go. I had nowhere to go.
I
pulled over and wiped the tears away, wrenched my phone from my pocket and
called the one person who hadn’t been lying to me.