Authors: H. G. Adler
Since everything is so difficult in Umlowitz, strangers rarely pass through town, visiting only when they absolutely must, or if they are relatives who are picked up by the barouche or with a hay wagon. Herma says that Principal Bolek has long desired that Umlowitz would become a tourist destination, since Umlowitz sits 676 meters above the Adriatic Sea and possesses all the amenities needed for a mountain spa, while if you tested all the water and springs from the area, who knows if there might not exist healing waters and wells, such as you see in Karlsbad, and to which people travel for
their health, gathering there from all over the world and bringing along so much money that the natives become rich themselves. But unfortunately there is not enough money to test the water, Rudolf chuckling about it and saying that if the water had some special value it would have been discovered long ago, there being no need for the principal to be the first to lead them to it. Yet Herma believes that the principal means well, and he himself says that if the kind of water needed to open a world-class spa doesn’t exist there is still a lot that can be done to increase the tourist trade in Umlowitz, if only the right entrepreneurial spirit existed, the principal not understanding why Herr Schwinghammer, who has plenty of money, doesn’t build a hotel, though first one would need a rail line that traveled closer to Umlowitz. Plans for such a project had long existed, though they had never been realized, for Umlowitz is located in such a neglected area, and the politicians had never shown much appreciation for it, which is why the principal will not vote for Wackermann the next time around, he being the representative for the district, the principal determined instead to vote for an opposition candidate, though even he would have to first promise that he’ll take better care of Umlowitz. At one time the rail-line project had gone so far that they began to survey the land, and everyone knew where it was supposed to be installed, just a quarter of an hour from the church, where old lady Praxel’s little house stands, which can be seen from the fields, but then the war came, which caused so much suffering, the rail-line project also falling victim to it, while now no one knows what will happen to the republic.
The principal goes on and on with anyone about this, and Herr Neumann says that the principal likes to feel important, though he’s done a great deal for the town, at which Rudolf protests and says that it’s ridiculous, you need only take a look at the schoolchildren to see how good the principal really is. Indeed, he must know a great deal, Josef thinks to himself, even if the children don’t know much themselves, and even if the reason for this is that there are too many children for the school, classes having to be divided into classes of boys and girls, adding up to twelve classes with a minimum of sixty in each, there being no way for Principal Bolek to teach each of them. A lot is said in Umlowitz about the principal’s plans, Josef often hearing people talk about this in Herr Neumann’s shop, saying how wonderful the
principal’s dreams and wishes are, such as building a park with benches and a music pavilion, where the Umlowitz orchestra could play, directed by Herr Kreissel, the singing teacher at the school who twice a year presents a concert in Herr Schwinghammer’s banquet hall. The principal also wants to see proper paths installed, with fine gravel that won’t hurt one’s feet, nothing more being required in Umlowitz, people will indeed come, as word will start to get around about all the black currants to be had, as well as raspberries, strawberries, and blackberries, so many mushrooms to be found in the forests that many are left to rot because there are too many to gather, since one can pick only what he needs for himself, almost all of the boletus disappearing, for no one wants the others, everyone drying the sliced mushrooms in their kitchens at home. On top of this the air is so good in Umlowitz, mainly because of the mountains, as well as the lovely forests, there being no better air to be found anywhere, there also being no tuberculosis like in the cities.
All of this occurs to Josef when he is out in the pasture and the town lies peaceful before him, stretching from Fräulein Leirer’s villa out to Praxel’s little cabin, while across the way stands the Thomasberg, some 814 meters high, topped by a rounded dome of dense forest, Herma having twice taken Josef there, which made him very happy, while behind the Thomasberg there are still higher mountains, though they are a ways off, not all of them visible from the fields, especially when they are higher than a thousand meters, the country’s border also nearby and running straight along the peaks. Josef had never been there, but Herr Neumann had already promised that some Sunday they would take the barouche, in which four people could travel, six really, though only four inside, one having to sit up front with Toni on the coach box, from which nevertheless the view is even better without the roof of the barouche in the way. Yet when Josef rides along he likes to do so inside, where it is much darker, though more refined, for you have to find a way to ride out the bumps, and everything there is elegantly upholstered, comfortably cushioned and so wonderfully bouncy, as Josef has often found out with Otto, the two of them climbing in and bouncing away, just as if the barouche were really moving, though Arthur had reacted by saying that Josef is already much too old for that sort of thing, and that the barouche is not a toy.
Because it’s so hard for tourists to get to Umlowitz, it’s always a great event when they do, one that always has some special reason behind it. This is why the children of Umlowitz have hardly ever seen an automobile, though the great landowner Dordogneux, whose name Josef doesn’t exactly know how to spell for sure, this man was a count when there had still been an emperor, and Count Dordogneux lives in a castle in Gratzen and has an automobile. Once he drove through Umlowitz in it when classes were under way at the school, all the children yelling “An automobile!” the teacher, Herr Lopatka, saying that, indeed, it was an automobile, then all the children piled out of their benches and rushed to the windows in order to see it, though Herr Dordogneux had only driven through Umlowitz and had never stopped.
Now and then a salesman travels to Umlowitz in order to show the new wares in his many suitcases, and when he comes he rents a wagon that he picks up at the station before traveling on to Umlowitz, where he gets out at Herr Schwinghammer’s inn, though he doesn’t eat there, except for breakfast, since he sleeps there, for otherwise he is busy making his rounds. His name is Herr Lieblich, and in Umlowitz he visits only Herr Neumann and Herr Iltis, as well as Herr Kosteletz, who doesn’t have as big a shop as Herr Neumann and Herr Iltis. At Herr Kosteletz’s he makes only a quick visit, and doesn’t bring in all of his suitcases, but when he visits Herr Neumann and Herr Iltis he stays for a long time and brings along all of his suitcases, which he cannot carry alone, which is why Herr Schwinghammer’s farmhand and maid cart them along, Herr Lieblich carrying only one case. Herr Neumann is always pleased when Herr Lieblich visits, though Herr Lieblich always announces his visits by letter ahead of time, so that Herr Neumann will know when he will arrive, and when Herr Lieblich steps into the store Leopold calls out, “Good day, Herr Lieblich!” After which he yells more loudly, “Herr Lieblich is here!” And everyone comes rushing in, for they all have time when Herr Lieblich is there, greetings exchanged all around, Herr Neumann and Arthur and Rudolf and Herma, even Otto, hurrying along and exclaiming that Herr Lieblich has arrived, everyone shaking his hand, Leopold already knowing that he’ll have some plum brandy right off, at which Herr Lieblich lifts his shot glass, looks around at
everyone, stretches out the hand holding the shot glass as if it were a barbell he was about to lift, as he calls out “Cheers! Cheers!” to each of them and drinks down the plum brandy and says heartily, “That felt good!” Then everyone has lots to say, first about the weather, what kind of year it’s been, how the harvest is looking, and what is most important to Herr Neumann, namely business and family, as well as what Herr Lieblich has done with himself since they last saw him, how business has been in the district, and whether Herr Iltis has bought less than usual.
So it goes for a while, until Leopold lifts a case and lays it on the counter so that Herr Lieblich can open it and show what he has for wares, though they are full of samples that are not for sale and are only for show. Herr Neumann and Rudolf and Arthur become interested and talk about whether they could use this or that, Herr Lieblich always pointing out which ones will sell very well, or how many he has sold of something already, what great business he has been doing, and if Herr Neumann wants some good advice, then he should order it, for he’ll then see people rush through the doors, simply because they’ll be wild about it, which is why it would be best for Herr Neumann to order now, otherwise it could happen that there might not be enough wares to fill subsequent orders, or it just might be too late. Some things are just rubbish, says Arthur, which is what something is called that is not as good as Herr Lieblich thinks it is, though Herr Lieblich immediately replies that it’s not rubbish at all, because his firm has nothing to do with rubbish, to which Rudolf says that, indeed, it may not be rubbish but it’s still no good to them in the store, for nobody will buy it. Then samples appear, which no one calls rubbish, while Herr Neumann says that they are very good articles but the kind of thing that sells only in the city and not in Umlowitz, because here the people like simple things that are cheap and not too expensive, because people save their money, especially since the war, for they don’t have much money and some have lost everything after purchasing a lot of war bonds, and no one knows now what to do with war bonds. Meanwhile Herr Lieblich says to Herr Neumann that he certainly knows what is best, and he agrees that you can’t order everything, but he does wish to point out that Herr Iltis has already placed his order, and in Strobnitz, a market town in the district, Herr Lieblich has had numerous
orders for the time under discussion, so many, in fact, that he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to fill them all, for he also has to serve the other proprietors of the district who are his long-standing customers.
Whenever Herr Neumann orders something, Herr Lieblich’s face lights up even more than before, he is so delighted as he takes out a little booklet with a soft brown cover on which it says “Orders,” after which he then inserts two pieces of carbon paper and writes down the list of goods that Herr Neumann wants, it always being a good number. Once one case has been sorted through, there follows another, but whenever a customer comes in everything stops, otherwise everyone is happy to keep looking, though Leopold gets upset whenever Herr Lieblich visits, because he has to continue to work and doesn’t get to see all the things that Herr Lieblich is there to show off. One case is full of women’s goods and fabric samples, and that’s when Herr Neumann asks for Herma’s opinion, which she then gives, telling him what she likes, what he should order and what he should not, as Herr Lieblich says how clever she is, and how happy it makes him to see a woman involved in a business, because women understand some things much better. With this he flashes Herma a charming smile, to which she only laughs and says nothing further. Then Herr Lieblich reaches for a hand-dyed purse made of real silk and a piece of soap scented with lily of the valley and a lovely thimble, all of which he presents to Herma as a gift, while in another case Herr Lieblich has samples that you can play with, even if they aren’t toys in their own right, and from these he always chooses something for Otto, which makes him happy and for which he waits in expectation, Josef getting something as well, while for Herr Neumann there’s a leather tobacco pouch, even though he already has quite a few that he doesn’t use, including one made from a pig’s bladder that he carries in his pocket, while Arthur gets a fountain pen, about which he says that it won’t work for long, Rudolf getting a notebook, Leopold a nail cleaner, anyone who happens to be in the store getting something as well.
Once Herr Lieblich has shown all of his wares, which can take a couple of hours, Herr Neumann says that Herr Lieblich should come along with him, for Herma has cooked something good and Herr Lieblich must surely be hungry, Herr Neumann having slaughtered a chicken earlier. He always goes through the yard and deftly grabs a chicken, pressing it between his
legs and bending over to rip out some feathers just below the throat, at which he pulls out a long knife and cuts the chicken’s throat so that the blood quickly flows out and the chicken is dead, its wings still flapping a bit and its legs still twitching away for quite a while, Josef having been upset the first time he saw it, though he calmed down once someone explained to him that the chicken was dead already, and only its nerves were causing it to still move. Then Herr Lieblich is led into the kitchen and served a bowl of soup, after which he has some chicken that has been cooked in a paprika sauce, there being also dumplings along with it which Herma is so good at making, Poldi able to make only simple things, while afterward there is coffee and cake, though to drink there is also beer from Herr Schwinghammer’s. All during this Herr Lieblich is told many things, but once he has eaten his fill and there are no more stories to tell he thanks them for the friendly hospitality, kisses Herma’s hand, and says a heartfelt goodbye to everyone, after which Herr Lieblich heads off and someone shows up from the inn to pick up his cases.
Otherwise there are few visitors, only Adolf arriving two or three times a year, he not able to visit more often because of his wife, while he stays for only an hour when he does come, no one doing anything special for him, as only Herma serves him a coffee and says that he should have a look at the yard, and that Otto should show him the way, at which Adolf takes off already, saying that he’ll be back when he next has business in Umlowitz. The townsfolk of Umlowitz, however, never visit Herr Neumann when they don’t have something they are looking for, and even if they do visit most of them stand at the front of the store, nor do people sit out on a Sunday or during the evening as they do in the city, because everyone has something to do all day, and everyone sees everyone else all the time, few people even taking the time to eat together, while some eat something later on, because they have too much to do, though that is also good, since there are not enough places at the table. For the most part, Josef and Otto eat together, Herma normally joining them at the table and sometimes Herr Neumann, Poldi always bringing the heaping plates, which are so hot that Josef is amazed at how steady she holds them without spilling anything or scalding herself. Whenever Herr Neumann or Rudolf and Arthur or Herma are at dinner, sometimes someone calls out, at which they have to rush out right
away because something is going on in the store or in the yard, and so they let the food sit in the middle of the table. Often it gets cold, and if it all takes too long Poldi carries the plates away and scrapes the food, if there’s enough left, into the pot, for Poldi says that it can still be eaten. Everyone eats a lot, so there is always something cooking and the pots are never empty, there is always someone who wants to eat, the large bake oven also never going out after it’s lit early in the morning, until late at night when it’s shut down, though the stovetop remains hot for a while. Poldi makes goose noodles, which are oats used to fatten a goose, laying the oats on the hearth so that they roast, but not too much. Meanwhile, when Poldi eats she doesn’t sit at the table but rather on a stool in front of the oven, where she chews away and holds a plate on her lap as she bends over her food, Toni doing this as well and all the people who work in the yard.