Panorama (46 page)

Frau Lawetzer sighs as she lays the receiver back in its cradle, but it rings again right away, and the cashier answers, “Hello, Frau Lawetzer here … ah, yes, my pleasure, Professor … yes, I always say ‘Cultural Center, Ticket Sales’ … Tickets for the Auchlicht lecture? … What’s the name of the lecture again? … ‘The Role of Hormones in Our Life’ … I have no tickets for a lecture on hormones here … I can’t, Professor, I have people waiting … Yes, later … also the Red Cross … I’ll call you back … Yes, goodbye.” Frau Lawetzer shakes her head doubtfully. “There you have it, my dear madame, the old man does that to me all the time! How am I supposed to sell tickets? Well then, what can I do for you?”—“I actually want tickets for the Auchlicht lecture.”—“Auchlicht? Auchlicht? Oh, the one about hormones! Wait, let me have a look.” Frau Lawetzer looks for the tickets but can’t find them. “I don’t have any tickets for it down here. They must still be up in the office. Now I remember. That’s the block that still needs to be stamped, Fräulein Auer must have them upstairs. If you just wanted to head up to the office yourself.”—“But for the last three days it said in the newspaper that advance sales are available. This is outrageous! That’s always the way it goes at the Cultural Center!”—“Please, my dear madame, I just work here. You need to bring it up with the old man, tell it to Professor Rumpler!”—“I’m not going to your professor. I want the tickets, and right now! It says so in the newspaper!”—“But, please, don’t get so
upset. I can only sell what I have here in the booth. If you want, I can make a note. I’ll reserve some for you. How many do you need?”—“Normally I wouldn’t go to a lecture on hormones, but Dr. Auchlicht is a cousin of my sister-in-law’s. So I have to. I don’t want to cause you any trouble. But do you have any tickets or not?”—“I don’t have any. I already said, I can make a note, or you have to go up to the office.”—“Well then, for God’s sake, make a note! Four tickets. Good seats. Will there be slides?”—“How am I supposed to know? Under what name, please?”—“Weislicht. Why don’t you know if there will be slides or not? Do you know anything at all?”—“Weislicht. Please, with a round ‘s’ or sharp ‘s’?”—“With a round one. But I want to know whether there will be slides.”—“You’ll have to ask about that upstairs.”—“Well then, four tickets for Weislicht to see Auchlicht.” The woman leaves in a huff, then Frau Lawetzer sticks her head a ways out the window. “So then, have you decided, my dear sir?” He has decided and wants the seats, the cashier ripping the desired tickets from the block, the man wishing to pay with a large banknote, though Frau Lawetzer hasn’t enough change for it, and asks for a smaller bill. Unfortunately, the man doesn’t have one. Then Frau Lawetzer calls to the new employee, but he can’t change it either, so she asks how well he knows his way around the building. He knows only where the office is. To that Frau Lawetzer says that’s all he needs to know, and would he be so kind as to pop up to Fräulein Auer and ask her for some change? Josef is ready to do so, but asks if he couldn’t take along the cigarettes at the same time. No, that won’t do, first she has to see if she has any, and Fräulein Auer should let her be, there are people at the ticket booth, business has to be taken care of first.

Josef runs upstairs, the door to the office is shut, so he has to knock, and while he waits he reads the announcement that’s attached to the door:

A young boy named Michel opens the door and Josef steps into the drab, murky foyer, where there is a table with a dirty green cloth and a couple of chairs, a few people sitting and waiting, as one of them says to Michel what a scandal it is, such miserable lighting, the kind a cultural center should be ashamed of, though Michel replies, “Please, it’s not my fault. I’m not allowed to turn on any lights. The Professor gets upset if they are left burning while not used.”—“Oh, give me a break, your professor can’t just let the visitors sit here in the dark!” Michel responds that if there are visitors, then he can turn on the lights, but only then, and now at least a stronger light-bulb has been put in, one with twenty-five watts instead of fifteen. Meanwhile, there are three doors leading off the foyer, to the right the
DIRECTOR
, in the middle the
SECRETARY
, to the left the
MAIN OFFICE
, and in red below it
ENTRY STRICTLY FORBIDDEN!
Josef needs to enter in order to find Fräulein Auer, but Michel calls out that no one is allowed in, the Professor is in the building, which means that no one can enter the office, Michel has been instructed so, and that’s what it also says on the door. Josef says that Michel must surely have seen him in there earlier, and now Frau Lawetzer has sent him to find Fräulein Auer in order to get some change. Unfortunately, Michel doesn’t back down and says that it’s not allowed, he can apply in writing to any of the gentlemen, but not to Fräulein Auer but rather to the Professor, though that is not possible today, as all the visiting hours have been taken, all of these people are waiting, the Professor never sees more than two or three per day, though Michel can try Dr. Horn, if Josef would be good enough to write down his name, the date, and the purpose of his visit. Josef tries to explain that tomorrow he will be working here himself, and that Michel should not hold him up, for he must see Fräulein Auer, because Frau Lawetzer really needs change, but Michel maintains that he knows nothing about that, and that others have tried saying this or that in order to get into the main office, though Michel is at least willing to tell Fräulein Auer that a man is looking to speak to her, but at that moment Dr. Horn opens the door of the secretary’s office in order to greet a visitor, and so Josef quickly calls out, “Herr Doctor, I need to see Fräulein Auer, but this young man won’t let me in.” Horn laughs as much as the cigarette in his mouth will allow. “How dutiful, Dr. Kramer, I’m pleased to say. You want to
see Auer? Then you can also tell her that she should give me a cigarette, which I guarantee she’ll have back in the morning. Bring the cigarette to me in the office!” Michel makes a dumb face and wants to say something, yet Dr. Horn informs him, “It’s okay. Dr. Kramer starts with us tomorrow.”

Horn accompanies a visitor into the office, and finally Josef can head in as well, though Fräulein Grenadier stops him and wants to know where he’s been, but Josef begs her pardon and says that he will tell her later, right now he has to pass on a request to Fräulein Auer from Frau Lawetzer, and as he explains all this the door of the office suddenly opens and Professor Rumpler appears, saying, “Dash it all, how nice, Fräulein Grenadier! Aren’t you ashamed to already be trying to rope in the young doctor? You know how I value secrecy! And I expected more from you than gossip and spying! Didn’t I say that everything here stays between us? No visitor’s pass for you, Doctor!” Both want to counter the Professor’s remarks, but he doesn’t want to hear all the reasons for Josef’s appearance in the office and begins to reprimand him, Rumpler regretting that he has already given Josef his word, otherwise there would be no position for someone who is not capable of doing honor to the persons who had recommended him, the Professor wishing to take this opportunity to rub his nose in this very fact. Then Josef pulls himself together and to the surprise of everyone is heard to say, “Excuse me, Herr Professor, but I have not broken your trust, nor have I done anything wrong.”—“You’re talking nonsense, Doctor! Trust? I don’t even know you. No one in the world holds any trust. Dash it all, you have to earn that first, or do you think we all show up at the Cultural Center trusting one another already?”—“I want to earn your trust, Herr Professor. You sent me to Herr Krupka.”—“And to do that you need to stand here gabbing for half an hour? Do you think my employees should be stealing away time to chat with you?”

Before Josef can answer, a man appears who wants to visit the business office, but Rumpler stops him and asks whether Herr Puttrich knows that he is the concierge and that he shouldn’t be away from his station at this hour, because of course any number of people could come traipsing in, which would make for a fine mess, there being no way to monitor them, and so Puttrich should go back down to his station, though Puttrich shakes his head vigorously, saying he’s sorry, but he has to see Fräulein Auer. Rumpler
says that there is nothing Puttrich could possibly need from Auer. To this Puttrich responds, unperturbed, that Frau Lawetzer sent him and it’s urgent. The Professor shouts that that is unheard of, but perhaps now Puttrich was taking orders from old Lawetzer, though there’s no way of knowing what the old cow has in mind, for she’s not in charge of anyone, though perhaps she had called him on the telephone, as her job is to sit in her spot and sell tickets, but then how is it that she approached Puttrich and sent him up here? Herr Puttrich explains that she didn’t leave her booth and had only called, but Rumpler yells that she has no reason to call at all, so why did she, and even if she did there was no reason for Puttrich to leave his station, either. Undaunted, the concierge replies that Frau Lawetzer needs change and has sent him to get some, but at this the Professor loses all patience. “What, then, does she have a telephone for? Why didn’t she call Auer?” He opens the door to the business office and calls Fräulein Auer, who sits there with her lipstick and smiles at the Professor, who yells, “What kind of plot is this? Why don’t you give Lawetzer the change she needs?”

Then Michel comes up to him and says, “Excuse me, but there’s a man here. I told him that he isn’t allowed to go any farther. But he says he wants to burn down this den of thieves and wants his money back.” Michel hardly finishes talking when the man storms in who wanted to pay for the cinema tickets with a large note, as the Professor approaches him and asks, “What do you want? You don’t have an appointment! Not just any Tom, Dick, and Harry can show up here!” The man turns away from Rumpler. “Don’t bother me! I don’t want anything to do with you! Kindly let me through! This young man is supposed to be getting my money for me!” The man wants to get to Josef, but Rumpler positions himself proudly and angrily in the way. “Let me inform you that I’m the one you have to deal with, because I am Rumpler, Director Professor Dr. Kamill Rumpler, the Head of the Cultural Center!”—“As far as I’m concerned, you can be whoever you like, but this nasty business is going to appear in all the papers!” He pushes the Professor roughly to the side and is already standing in front of Josef, who gives back the man’s bill with a stammering apology, an act that no one except Fräulein Auer and Fräulein Grenadier understand, as Fräulein Grenadier explains, “See, Herr Professor, you didn’t want to listen to what I knew about the situation. The man wanted to buy some tickets, Frau
Lawetzer had no change, and so she sent Dr. Kramer to Fräulein Auer with the bill that belonged to the man, in order to get it changed.” Rumpler yells in response, “Everything goes crazy, unless I take care of it myself.”

Then suddenly Rumpler turns calmly toward the man, who doesn’t know what’s happened, and sheepishly gives him his money back. “What is your name, my dear sir?” The man stammers, “My … my name is Krönert.”—“Herr Krönert, indeed, how nice, for I always wanted to meet you. We know each other, don’t we? Dash it all, Krönert, Krönert, help me now, Herr Krönert, help me! Perhaps if you told me your occupation …”—“I work at the Central Agency for Agricultural Loans.”—“Of course, Krönert from the Central Agency! My good friend Zenkl works there, isn’t that true?”—“Zenkl, yes Zenkl is the director.”—“I’m very close with him, Herr Krönert, please pass on my greetings, for he is my best friend, a splendid man that Zenkl, so noble, cultivated! No surprise that he surrounds himself with men like you, Herr Krönert! You look a lot like him. If you’ll allow me, I’ll put in a good word with Zenkl for you, for of course you deserve a promotion, a good one. You’re interested in agriculture, was your father perhaps an agrarian?”—“No, my father was a civil servant in the Justice Department. My grandfather ran a small farm.”—“Of course, your grandfather, that’s right Herr Krönert, not your father, who of course had an important job working for the courts, indeed, an outstanding career! Are you at all interested in the law?”—“Not really.”—“It doesn’t matter, my friend, not all of us can be judges and lawyers! There have to be other professions and hobbies. Certainly you have hobbies—reading, perhaps? Music? Composing your own?”—“My hobby is raising canaries.”—“Terrific, Herr Krönert, it suits you well! Have you ever spoken on the radio about it? No, really not? We really need something about raising canaries, interest in it continues to rise, top prices paid, it’ll draw! You should make a note, we have an open spot next month that we could move you into, a talk about canaries!”—“I’ve never spoken on the radio.”—“No backing down, my dear sir! Rumpler won’t stand for it! You have a wonderful voice for the microphone! A terrific timbre! No, it’s true indeed, very musical, much like the canary, those little cheepers! Am I not right, Fräulein Grenadier? We’ll do up a contract in a jiffy? Make a note of it, Herr Schrimpl, a contract for Herr Krönert, with the usual honorarium! Thank you, Herr Krönert, how nice of
you to do it! I’ll make sure to listen in when you’re on. I don’t have any time, but I’ll listen in!”—“Thank you, Herr Director. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such kindness.” Then the Professor embraces Herr Krönert and says, “My dear friend, dash it all, I’m the one who is in your debt! Canary-raising is something that needs to be supported! We’ve never had a lecture on that. I thank you deeply, it was a pleasure, it’s all settled, and didn’t you want tickets for the cinema?”—“Yes, Herr Director.”—“A wonderful film, excellent, you’ll laugh until your sides split.”—“It’s actually a tragic film, Herr Director.”—“Doesn’t matter, my dear sir, a wonderful film, gripping, I wept openly! Fräulein Auer, please give Herr Krönert free passes, loge seats, indeed as many as he wants, and so goodbye, it was a pleasure, it’s all settled!”

After Rumpler says goodbye to Krönert, some of the employees want to speak to the Professor, but he insists that there be no more, for he can’t keep track of his own head, no one helps him, he has to be off, an important call, the radio, a pressing meeting. “Puttrich, a taxi, but hurry! I’ll be back soon, no one leave, we’ll have a staff meeting, very important, the young doctor should also hang about! I had a call from the Education Minister about our subvention. Tomorrow the commission meets. Everything has to be prepared tonight, so we’ll need every typewriter to be free, no writing radio plays for now, just reports, reports! There won’t be any staff meeting tomorrow, since I have to be at the Ministry!” Rumpler wants his coat, hat, and cane from Michel, who says, “But there are still three men waiting and a woman. They all have appointments and have been waiting for a while. They’ve been here a couple of times before already. Please, they can’t wait any longer.”