Read Panorama Online

Authors: H. G. Adler

Panorama (43 page)

During this conversation the two reach a door that leads to the garden, as Irwin asks if Josef has seen the garden already. No, he says, but it would be nice if Irwin could show it to him. Irwin says that they could head out into it, but if Josef wants to be shown around the gardener can do that, though unfortunately he’s not there right now, he comes only in the morning, yet Lutz gets on well with him and can say what each plant is called, often even knowing the Latin name, but Mother doesn’t like it when he stands around with the gardener, he able to do so only on mornings when there is no school, while Mother can’t know, for if she does she calls him away immediately. She has indeed forbidden the gardener more than once to let Lutz in, as it only feeds his romantic dreams, which Mother hopes to stamp out. Father is also firmly against romanticism, but not against this, as he sees Lutz’s learning from the gardener as preparation for a possible career in agriculture, though Mother rises up like a fury, saying that no child of hers will become a farmer, at which Father draws his tail between his legs like a wet poodle. But even Lutz doesn’t want to go into agriculture, saying he wants to do something different with nature than does a farmer, he wants to study it, just as Josef must have heard already, though Irwin thinks it’s a
load of nonsense. Their talk, however, is interrupted by the ugly sound of a gong, Josef knowing without Irwin’s having to say anything that this is the sign for dinner, the two of them stepping back into the house as everyone gathers in the dining room.

Josef is introduced to Madame and little Robert, as everyone sits around the large oval table, Josef taking his spot between his two pupils. Left of Lutz sits the mother, Robert next to her, then Madame, the Director between her and Irwin. Anton serves the food in tails and white leather gloves, holding out a dish first to Frau Director, who then sets one in front of Robert, the rest served in order, beginning with the Director and followed by Madame, Josef, Irwin, and Lutz, such that Anton must move constantly back and forth. The meal begins once all have been served, Robert slapping his spoon into his soup such that it splashes, which Madame tries to stop, the Director looking amused as he asks Robert, “Do you think you can turn the soup into whipped cream by stirring it around like that?” Frau Director throws her husband a dirty look and worries what Josef must think, he sitting down to the table for the first time and probably thinking that Robert has no manners, which Madame regrets terribly, though she says, “
Oh non, mon cher Robert est quelquefois méchant, autrement il est très joli, il est doux
.” This time Madame gets a dirty look from Frau Director as she turns to Robert and says, “I know, sweetheart, that you love to splash around in your soup like that. But it’s very nasty. Now please stop!” She lectures Robert about the danger of maintaining such bad manners, for if someone invites him to dinner and he splashes around in his soup, then no one in the world will ever like him to visit or invite him again, and he’ll always have to sit at home. But Robert says he doesn’t need to be invited, nor does he even need to be liked, and he can just stay home, since everyone else is at home. Madame says, “
Mais Robert, fi donc,
” and continues to say the same, as well as, now and then, “
Mange ton potage proprement,
” at which Madame demonstrates how to eat the soup and the other courses. Several times the Director says that Robert will indeed learn with time, which Frau Director then questions, for Robert can see already how mannerly everyone eats, even the new tutor doing so splendidly, nor will anyone want to play with Robert if he doesn’t eat right. But Robert doesn’t want to play with anyone, not even today, he has played enough already, and so it goes for the next four courses
until they get to the fruit and cheese, though Frau Director more and more turns over the care of Robert to Madame.

Frau Director turns to Josef and asks if he finds his food to be excellent, and when he agrees she explains that, despite the financial crisis, nothing was spared in terms of food in this house, that is the last thing to try to scrimp on, good and wholesome food never having been treated as a luxury, though there are many who would be happy to eat this well, a coolie, for example, having to get by on a handful of rice per day, as she always says, whenever the boys pick at their food and say they don’t like this or they don’t like that, the cook
comme il faut
in terms of high society, she having learned her art in the princely houses of the old monarchy, even once having cooked for Archduke Josef, indeed the namesake of their own Josef, and indeed, was that who he was named for? Josef didn’t think he was named for someone from the old monarchy. Frau Director thought that made sense, today it would be ridiculous to name someone after Franz Josef, such men being branded for life, but what had she been talking about? Well, then, enough about cooking, one shouldn’t talk about food, as she always says, though somehow she had gotten carried away, but enough of that, for Frau Director wants only to recall Cato’s saying “
Cato Maior apud conviviis magis sermonibus quam cibibus se delectavit
.” Irwin then blurts out that his mother always says it wrong, for she knows nothing about Latin, though she loves to say something in it, but
apud
takes the accusative and
cibus
follows the second declension. Frau Director finds it highly rude of Irwin to criticize her at the table, it could be done privately afterward. Josef should in fact know that she had attended a girls school, where only modern languages were taught and no Latin, which she knows a bit of now, having taught it to herself or at least picked it up, it not mattering if she makes mistakes or doesn’t know a declension, for indeed, she sometimes gets the declensions mixed up, but what matters is the meaning of what is being expressed, and Irwin should never correct her as long as he is lucky enough to enjoy the comforts his parents provide, for how fortunate the children of the unemployed in the Erzgebirge would consider themselves if they knew only half as much Latin as does Frau Director.

Frau Director had not wanted to discuss any of this, Irwin having only interrupted her so rudely, she wanting to say instead that the conversation
with guests at the table is vital, Eckermann having become world-famous as a result of his dinner conversations with Goethe, while without them the poet Eckermann would have ended up a complete unknown, and Irwin should make note of that, he always has such scorn for poets. Irwin states that he has nothing against Goethe, and that what Eckermann recorded weren’t dinner conversations but simply discussions between them. Frau Director says, conversations or discussions, what’s the difference, while even more important than poets are philosophers, though philosophy is only for a small circle of well-read intellectuals who examine the inner meaning of life. Frau Director orders Anton to skip over to the bedroom and bring her the copy of
Ethics
, he knows what she means, the Spinoza bound in leather, she wants to read aloud a fantastic sentence from this most modest of philosophers, because although she can recall a few of the words from memory, she doesn’t want to make a mistake, so once Anton arrives with the leather volume Frau Director opens to a page designated by a silk bookmark and reads, “Awe involves the perception of an object in which the spirit remains captive because this particular perception has no connection with anything else.” That is a brilliant sentence, she always says, for man should always admire something, otherwise he will become too pedestrian, and that could happen to Irwin, because he’s too materialistic, though if Spinoza had been familiar with psychoanalysis he would never have written this sentence, which is clear, although still a bit romantic, for the spirit should not remain captive, that is a religious prejudice which in light of our current understanding must be set aside. Such captivation involves a complex, and Frau Director loves most to talk about an awe complex, which one has to solve or at a minimum sublimate in a good manner. One only needs to listen to the sound of the word “sublime,” a lovely word, not without a poetic tinge, in much the same way that there’s something poetic about psychoanalysis, for along with philosophy it is the genuine poetry of the future, because abstraction is what triumphs in art, namely that which is completely removed from life, as Professor Bäumel had explained in his course, which would have been a real help to Irwin, if only he wouldn’t run away from life’s great puzzles, for in the dream that we are always caught up in, awe plays a vital role, as it’s a type of love, an enthusiasm for the beautiful and the good. When Lutz is bigger he should consider that beauty is not sensual, because
if you understand Spinoza you realize that no microscope will unlock the great puzzles of the world that men can only stand awestruck before. The true artist of our time is really the doctor, that will become even more clear as time goes on, though today people don’t realize it entirely, but eventually crude medicine will disappear, with the exception of treating wounds, broken bones, bad teeth, or bad eyesight, it doing more harm than good when they inject the body with innumerable shots of poison in trying to heal what actually cannot be healed, while one day all of man’s ills, with the exception of accidents, will be treated by healing the soul. People will become aware, then awe will no longer remain a captive perception, as one only needs to understand that one can in this way also solve and master the solution to the social question, because also within a nation it all comes down to the condition of awe, there no longer being anything that is imagined, as the imagination is also a kind of illusion, and within there is still something of romanticism, but instead pure awe will arise, and then even awe will pass, though only later will that happen, the right conditions needing to be fulfilled first, for awe is a kind of amazement. The sage, however, is not amazed, since he knows either everything or nothing, and in the same way awe is still a fixation of the libido, a kind of avarice, which is also the end of ethics, while after awe comes fulfillment. Irwin and Lutz should pay attention and not make such dumb faces, for if the boys don’t understand they should wait for the future, when they will see the light, while for now at least they should be respectful, though indeed what does Josef think of it all?

Everyone has gone silent, only Robert scraping his chair with his foot, Madame having admonished him now and then, the older boys hardly listening, the Director nodding now and again and beginning to pick his teeth, though Josef had tried to take it all in, but it became harder and harder, such that when Frau Director asks him for his opinion he feels shy and doesn’t want to say anything, though the boys unintentionally help him out, the meal now over as Lutz and Irwin ask whether they can be excused from the table. The mother gives them permission, and Josef wishes to be excused as well so that he can spend some more time with the boys, thus pleasing Lutz, which he shows openly as he stands by the door, Irwin glancing back at him as he waits, but Frau Director has other ideas and says that the boys have been rude, that they secretly laughed during the discussion of Spinoza and
thought their mother stupid, wanting to embarrass her in front of Josef, instead of showing her how proud they are of their mother, and for that they can head off alone, and they can talk with Madame when she puts Robert to bed, for it won’t hurt them to speak a little French if they don’t want to make total fools of themselves this summer in Brittany. After this Irwin and Lutz have to kiss their mother’s hand, while she kisses them on the forehead and says tenderly that they are her darlings and they just need to be sensible, they are going to like Josef, and she’s happy that they both like him, though she doesn’t want it to be just a flash in the pan. Then the boys say good night to their father, who stretches out his hand to them and tells them not to fight or stay up too late, and that Irwin should be so kind as to get up on time tomorrow morning, so that they don’t all go through the same song and dance again. Then they both say good night to Josef, who promises to often spend evenings with them, this is not the only night he will stay over at the house, and they can also meet him in the garden in the morning in order to go for a run. Robert’s departure follows on the heels of Irwin and Lutz leaving, the child fussing, since he’s overtired and screams, though Madame understands and says, “
Vite, vite, mon enfant, je te raconterai encore un conte très très réjouissant,
” as Robert finally leaves after several hugs from his parents.

Frau Director is not completely happy with Josef, for as a supposed philosopher he had not supported her interpretation of Spinoza’s view, or perhaps he was unfamiliar with it, which Josef had to agree with, he didn’t know it at all, and above all she was not his contemporary and it wouldn’t be right to debate her. At this Frau Director explains firmly and yet forgivingly that the
Ethics
is as elementary to philosophy as one plus one, and if she were a university professor she would make students learn the entire text by heart, for in doing so, even though Spinoza can seem somewhat out of date, one gains through him an ethical foundation upon which the modern understanding of the soul rests, much like a young seedling on an old vine, pardon me, I mean stump. Frau Director pauses for a moment and sighs that unfortunately it’s impossible for her always to attain the highest level of thought when one has to simultaneously muck about in the raw reality of the everyday world, the noble being like a fragrance that floats away, shallowness triumphing amid one’s daily cares, and with a sidelong glance at the
Director she adds that one can indeed see how her husband sits by above it all, which only makes her want to stir him up a bit. Josef looks at him and asks himself against his will whether the Director doesn’t indeed look more like an ape than a man, but meanwhile Frau Director jumps in and asks her husband if things are bad with the market, mainly because he’s making such a sour face. He says it’s really not so bad, though tomorrow the market will be somewhat soft, but it will soon pick up, a lot of numbers look good and are holding strong. Frau Director says that’s so nice, my dear, you only need a boom and everything for you will be as it was for the snake before the fall of man. Such talk makes the Director nervous, though she pays no attention and says to Josef that he should appreciate what a melancholy man her husband is, it all stemming from a bit of depression, which is completely treatable, though he resists the help of his neuropsychologist and runs from the room if I ask Dr. Brendel to join us at the table. It would be quite easy to take care of it all, but if you do nothing then everything, of course, remains hopeless. She pays no attention to how her husband stares at her beseechingly and implores her to stop, Josef cannot possibly be interested in all this, and it will only embarrass him. Her husband’s pleading words only prod her on as she declares that his stubbornness is horrible, my goodness, I only mean well, and until recently there had always been unity in the family, which indeed there still is, for in regard to all basic questions they had never had a major disagreement, the Director is simply too easily excited and then soon sad, Dr. Brendel calling it a cycle that remains continual, the basis for it being the strain of his work, there not being a moment’s peace, which causes the nerves to suffer, and which unfortunately the children also note, even though there is a cure in place for it.

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