Part of Me (Jessa & Paxton #1) (18 page)

Jessa cocks her head at me. “Pax, I’m not playing a game. I don’t want you to be playing one either. I’m not going to change the clothes that I wear, that I have always wo
rn, because of your jealousy.” She pauses to stare at me. “And if I have to go to that fucking bar and watch all those women drool over you I’m not showing up in a pair of sweatpants. I’m showing up as the girl you can’t take your eyes off of.”

I grab a hold of her face and try to stay hard, but it’s clear she
doesn’t want to leave this room either and it’s also clear that the girl actually does have a jealous bone in her body. “I’ll let you wear the dress, beso, but it means you don’t get to leave my side.”

“Why would I want to leave your side?” she asks, before grabbing a hold of my face and crashing her lips into mine.

Paxton and I walk out of our bedroom – me in what I thought was a pretty conservative dress and my high heeled ankle boots – neither of which Paxton approved of. I’ve never had a guy try to tell me how to dress and I don’t know how I feel about it. Although, I have some comments about his outfit which I’m keeping to myself because I know that his black hoodie, that he will pull over his head before we step outside, and his black jeans, belted low around the waist slouching into his black doc martins, are all part of his ‘disguise’ that he wears every time he leaves the apartment.

“Ooh, love the dress,” Vi tells me, handing me a drink. “And wow, Pax, way to be adventurous with the look,” she says, handing him a beer.

I tell her thank you and Pax tells her he shouldn’t even be leaving the apartment – for multiple reasons. Both of us collapse on the couch and I wonder how long he’s going to hang out in this town where he’s not comfortable going outside. I try to ignore the way my heart races at that thought and I slam my drink.

“Maybe we should go somewhere different tonight. Somewhere where Paxton won’t have to worry so much about being recognized,” I tell Vi, reaching over and grabbing Paxton’s hand.
He squeezes mine, but I know it’s not to say, ‘thanks’, but to say, ‘maybe we shouldn’t go out at all’. I ignore him.

“Already taken care of,” Vi tells us with a smile. “The guys are meeting us at Jack
’s in twenty minutes.”

“The da
mn cowboy bar?” Pax complains.

“Exactly,” she says kicking her little feet that I now see are covered in cowboy boots.
“It’s karaoke night.”

“Perfect,” Pax mutters.

#

I’m
smiling ear to ear as we sit at a high table with Billy and Louis. All the guys look completely uncomfortable, but this place is fun and Paxton didn’t even bother putting his hood up. “I don’t know,” Louis says, looking around, “I could maybe get into this shit.”

“That’s great Louis, maybe you found your new calling. Why don’t you go ask that
guy if you can try out his fiddle?” Billy says, laughing to himself.

“It’s not so bad,” Paxton says,
surprising me. I turn my head to look at him and he’s smiling. “I mean, I don’t really think Jessa’s into cowboys,” he says quieter, to me.

“I don’t know, high
waisted jeans and tucked in shirts might be my thing.”

“So what the hell is going on here? You two finally getting it on
?” Billy asks with a mischievous smile.

Paxton pulls me closer but
doesn’t comment.

“Yes,” Violet answers for us while clapping.

“Thank God,” Louis mutters.

Billy stares at me with an arched eyebrow and a smug grin. “I know Billy… you were right, okay?”

“Thank you,” he tells me. “Just friends,” he mutters, shaking his head.

“Give her a break, Billy,
” Paxton tells him. “She’s never had a real man and it’s scary. It took her a minute to get over herself.”

I push Paxton and he has to grab a hold of the table to keep from fallin
g on his ass. “Shut the hell up,” I tell him, even though he’s right – I mean about the real man thing. I’ve definitely never had a man like Paxton.

“It’s not your fault, beso
,” he tells me, pulling me off my stool and onto his leg. “I mean shit, the cream of the crop was that pansy, Dylan.”

“I did good for a little country girl,” I tell him with a twang in my voice, like the girl on the stage.

“You were too much for that town,” he tells me.

“It’s funny, that you ended up there. The man who would finally
fulfill all of my desires, coming to my little ‘ol town,” I tell him with mock adoration, but I mean the words I say. It’s strange… how this guy ended up in that town. I lose myself in the idea for a moment. “Jesus, just think of all the trouble we could have gotten into in that town if we would have started this there.”

“That town couldn’t handle us,” Paxton tells me, grabbing
onto my thighs and wrapping my legs around him. My hands are automatically pressed into his skull. His hands are holding tight to my ass. He lurches forward and takes my bottom lip in his teeth before licking it.

“Jesus, Pax, get a hold of yourself,” Billy
mutters, pulling me out of my daze.

             
I lick Paxton’s upper lip because I can’t help myself, but then I pull away from his teeth and settle myself back on my stool.

“Come on, beso,” Pax says, grabbing my hand and pulling me off my stool. This is the second trip I’ve had to make with him to the bar. Paxton is acting like an overbearing jealous lunatic and I can’t say that I mind it. Things have definitely changed between us and the way he makes me feel is more intense than anything I have ever felt, which scares me. But I’m trying hard not to think beyond the moment because I really don’t want to ruin this for myself. Or for Pax. It’s clear he’s enjoying having me and I want to keep making him happy.

“Is this how it’s going to be every time I go out with you?” I ask him as we wait to order our drinks.

“
Yeah, it is. Get used to it.”

I can’t help but laugh. He’s so ridiculous. “What the hell do you think is going to happen if you leave me alone for two seconds?”

“All kinds of shit could happen. If you got a problem with it we can head home,” he tells me running his hand up my thigh, his fingers reaching under my dress, making me falter. “I might have been wrong about this dress,” he tells me. “I like it.”

“What can I get you?” I hear the bartender as
k.

“Are we getting out of here, or am I ordering a drink?” he asks me.

I pull his hand out of my dress and sigh. “We can’t leave yet,” I tell him. We’ve been here for twenty minutes. It has to be possible for us to function normally for longer than that.

He gives me a sexy little s
mile, then her orders our drinks.

When we get back to the table
Louis is approaching with a binder in his hands. He slaps it down on the table and announces, “The band is getting back together.”

“Oh, hell no,” Billy says, looking down at
the karaoke book.

“Yes,” I tell him enthusiastically before turning to
Paxton. “I want to hear you sing.”

I expect him to flat out refuse, but he just runs his hand over my face before looking at Billy. “You gotta give her what she wants,” he tells him.

“I’m not singing country music,” he tells Pax. “Not even for your girl.”

“Stop whining,” Vi tells him, peering at the bo
ok with Louis. “Ooh, look Billy- Johnny Cash,” she says, pen in her hand, filling out the song request form. She takes off across the bar to go turn it in before anyone has a chance to complain.

Billy just shakes his head. “H
ow do you put up with that girl?” he asks Jimmy.

Jimmy just laughs, “She knows what she wants. What can I say?”

We watch the vast array of characters that get up on stage and sing their hearts out. Billy’s got snide comments for all of them, but it’s clear that even he’s enjoying it. Paxton grabs a hold of my stool and drags it between his legs. He pulls my back to his chest and wraps me up in his arms and I settle in. I don’t know that I’ve ever been happier in my life. Everything about right now- the friends I’m with, the body holding mine- feels perfect.

When the MC announces that the next performers are, ‘Billy and his friends’, Vi starts clapping and Billy utters a curse word but all the guys stand and leave the table, making their way to the stage.

Vi and I follow and settle near the front of the crowd. She’s hooting and hollering before the music even begins. The repetitive beat of
Burning Ring of Fire
starts and Paxton grabs the mic stand. This is all supposed to be fun and silly, but when his deep, gravelly voice sings the opening lines, “Love… is a burning thing… and it makes a fiery ring…. Bound by wild desire… I fell into a ring of fire,” I stop moving completely and all I can do is stare. Chills cover my body as his eyes burrow into mine.

“You sing it, sexy boy,”
a woman shouts followed by several more whoops of agreement. I can’t help but smile.

All the guys join in at the chorus, “I fell into a burning ring of fire. I went down, down, down as the flames went higher. And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire. The ring of fire.”

People clap along to the chorus, but when the guys back away again and Paxton leans into the mic, holding onto the stand, the crowd becomes eerily silent as he sings in his deep voice, “The taste of love is sweet… when hearts like ours meet…. I fell for you like a child…. Oh, but the fire went wild.” His eyes never leave mine.

Jesus, this is ridiculous. His words send a heat through my body and I’m having a hard time staying put on this floor.

The guys sing through the rest of the song and the crowd claps along. Vi shouts and cheers along with the other women in the crowd, but all I can do is stand there and stare at Paxton.

The song ends, the crowd
applauds, the next singer is called to the stage, and then finally Pax is on the floor and back in my arms. I stare up at him with awe and he narrows his eyes at me. “What?” he asks.

“You’re voice,” I tell him. “It turns me on.”

“Oh, yeah?” he murmurs.

“
Yeah.”

“I can do all kinds of good stuff with my mouth,” he whispers in my ear, pulling me tight to him.

He leans over me, his open mouth hovering over mine. He turns his head and I can no longer see his eyes. I feel my muscles growing weak and I’m pretty sure his arms are the only thing keeping me upright. He closes his open mouth over mine, sealing me, sucking me in. His tongue runs over mine in a long, sweeping movement. Everything between my legs is pulsing because I can feel it, what it would feel like to have his tongue on me and he fucking knows it. His heavy tongue moves back and forth over mine, licking me
. Oh god
. His licking turns to a strong lapping motion and I’m feeling every sensation on my tongue and on my sex. When the tip of his tongue starts swirling around the tip of mine, then flicking it gently but with momentum I have to grab onto his arms to hold my shit together. I feel like I’m on the brink of orgasm and then his mouth moves off of mine and his lips pull my tongue into his mouth and he sucks. Hard. I try to control the tremors that are growing inside of me. I try to push them away. But as Paxton removes himself and looks down at me I know exactly what I look like. “As soon as I get you home, beso,” he whispers, his tongue licking the edge of his upper lip. 

“Fine,” I manage to say. “We can go.”

“Nah, nah, nah,” he tells me with mock disappointment. “It’s not time yet.”

“You’re lucky Pax, that you have skills ‘cause your cocky ass should have already been kicked to the curb.”

“
You’re
lucky I have skills. Don’t forget that,” he tells me, reaching his hands down to cup my ass before slowly pulling me up his body, over his erection, settling me on top of it.

He really is so
smug but I would be lying if I said I didn’t like it. He has the right to be smug. I wrap my legs around his hips, determined now, to make him bring me home. “You liked it when my mouth was all over you,” I tell him. He’s not the only one with skills and he knows it.

His eyes roll and he closes them
for a moment before collecting himself. “You can’t wait to get your greedy little mouth back on me, huh?”

“No, Pax, I can’t. You felt good in my throat, I want to feel it again.”

His hands are cupping me so hard I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have bruises. I’m also pretty sure he’s a goner.

He
doesn’t bother to put me down before heading towards the door. “Bye, Violet,” I call over Paxton’s shoulder, smiling like an idiot.

She looks at me and I can see he
r laughing before she disappears from my rapidly retreating vision. Paxton pushes the door open so hard I hear it smashing against the brick building. His lips find mine as he continues to move us around the building to the back parking lot where his car is. I hear him struggling to get the door open and a frustrated growl is released into my mouth. When he’s finally got it open I hear him flip the front seat forward and he puts me in the backseat, his body half in and half out of the car. I’m laid out on my back and he’s got my dress pushed up around my hips. “The door, Pax,” I manage to utter.

“Fuck the door,” he
growls, ripping my panties off of my body.

Fuck the door.

He pushes my knees up and doesn’t bother with the foreplay before he’s got his hot, wet mouth all over me. He licks me like the greedy man he is and I can’t decipher the words that are coming out of my mouth. He buries his face in me and the noise he’s making is needy and feral. He pushes his tongue into me and sucks hard on my lips and it feels so amazing that I don’t want to be brought to orgasm, I don’t want this to be over, but that kiss already had me primed and I literally can’t hold it back. Within minutes I’m panting the words, “I’m gonna come, Pax.” He pulls my hips down, burying himself further, I can feel his tongue inside of me, licking me up and his teeth on my sensitive flesh and I lose it. I scream and I cry until the last painful wave makes its way out of my tortured insides and into his mouth.