Authors: Elizabeth Seckman
“Psychos, eh? Pretty harsh assessment, don’t you think?”
“Pretty accurate. Your mother hired a private detective; she knew what she was dealing with.”
“She did what? My mother doesn’t have the right.”
“Every mother has the right to protect her child.”
“No matter who’s hurt?”
Jenna bit her lip. “Touché, Tres.” Her gaze flicked back to the window. She couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes. Tres swallowed hard. He cleared his throat and responded with measured calm, “I suppose I’ll practice what I preach. We are moving on from the past. I suppose I can let Barb Coulter off the hook this once. For you.”
“She’s your mom, Tres. She does love you.”
“I suppose if Maureen can forgive Sam for shooting her son, I can break bread with the dragon lady.”
Jenna shook her head at Tres and grinned, though the smile didn’t reach her eyes. “How do you know Maureen forgave him?”
“He asked and she granted. Seems once he realized I was the guy who got you pregnant, he was much less angry with Jake.”
“My father knows about Tanner too?”
Tres nodded. Jenna looked out the window yet again, brushing away fresh tears.
“What’s wrong, Jenna?”
“I feel like my life is being hashed out by everyone but me. I mean even the town seems to know what the hell’s going on.”
“I’m sorry. I suppose my talking to Russ got them going. And well, with Tanner and Sam, I had no choice. I tried damned hard to ignore Tanner’s questions. That’s probably what pissed him off the most. He wanted answers and I ignored him. So when he ran away, I had to do something. And Sam was just as confused wondering who the hell I was and why I was hanging around.”
“I should have been there.”
“Yes, you should have been. And you would have if you would ever trust me to help you.”
“Excuse me?” Jenna snapped.
“I could have helped you out last night. You never had to spend a single night in that hospital.”
Jenna’s mind raced with the awareness that Maureen squealed about the voluntary commitment. And not only had she broke her confidence, she had evidently switched allegiances. “So, Maureen’s your buddy now too?”
Tres shook his head, “Come on, Jenna. I want you to trust me. You’ve carried this burden alone long enough, why won’t you let me in?”
“My son is not a burden.”
“Our son,” he reminded her.
Jenna bit her lip and nodded.
“We don’t have to struggle with this Jen. I think for Tanner’s sake we can at least learn to be friends.”
Jenna agreed with a nod, her face blank, but her heart broke as his words crashed through her. Friends. The one word closure to love—shutting, locking then tossing the key to anything more. Friends. The word echoed through her mind, and she refrained from looking at him lest she break down and beg him to love her and forgive her, thus sacrificing the tiny bit of dignity she had left.
They traveled the final miles in silence. Tres sighed a long tired sigh as the car pulled into the driveway. The crunching of the tires on gravel woke Jenna from her moroseness. She instantly regretted they were back. She knew something should be said to keep the channels open between the two of them, but she didn’t know what. They were headed in the wrong direction; the gulf between them grew wider with every word.
She turned to say something ... anything, when they were greeted by Tanner, Maureen, and Sam. Tanner banged on the window until she opened the door and stepped out. Tanner hugged her tight, lifted her from the ground and welcomed her home. Maureen and Sam were just as anxious to touch her and verify she was whole and safe. Maureen blotted her eyes, hugged her a couple more times, and then hugged Tres for good measure then shuffled the crew inside for a special dinner.
“I wasn’t sure what folks were in the mood for, so I made some chicken and some fish, got some fresh baked French bread, and a couple of salads, some potatoes, and some hush puppies. Why, there’s bound to be something for everyone.”
“Find some energy, Maureen?” Tres whispered as he passed.
“Oh, yes, seems a little time in my rocker gave me just the boost I needed.” She winked at Tres and lowered her voice even lower than his whisper, “Did you two get to talk?”
Tres shrugged.
“Well, don’t see any bruises on you, so it must have been good?”
Tres shook his head, “Got a long way to go.”
“Well, let’s eat and relax, then I’m guessing the two of you will have a bit of time alone before the sun sets. You can hash it all out then.”
Dinner tasted delicious, but felt awkward ... at least for Jenna. She couldn’t help but wonder how busy the phone lines were today. People would whisper about her situation over fences and grocery shelves for days, weeks perhaps. She tried to let it go, at least for now she tried to pay attention to the conversation at the table, but she couldn’t help but dwell on the feeling that her life was spinning out of her control. She reminded herself to stay centered. Everything was all right. She was the one off kilter.
She would get her footing soon and feel reconnected with her family. The problem was the family landscape was forever altered. She looked around the table and heard without truly listening to the conversation about Tanner’s upcoming football game against Cresswell. Everyone chatted as animated as old friends. Jenna sighed and let the conversation absorb them.
Maureen analyzed the game better than an NFL scout. She knew which Cresswell players suffered injuries, who performed well, and who didn’t. She took to football like a duck to water joining Tanner and his friends, being accepted because she brought the snacks and an uncannily keen insight.
Her father knew a lot about Tanner’s performance this year. He must be coming to the games, Jenna thought. She should have asked him to go with them long ago. He had been within his rights to question Jake. Maybe if she had ...oh, did it matter? “Ifs” wore her out. It hurt her immensely to think Jake might have used her as a pawn. She kept glancing at his picture as if she could find the answer there.
And then there was Tres. He fell into the conversation like he never missed a day. Tanner complained about getting sacked as the quarterback. Tres reminded him to stay in his pocket, the area behind his line where he would get ample coverage. Tanner would love Tres for his first-hand knowledge of football alone, not to mention the car. Jenna shoved the potatoes around her plate. This was a good thing, so why did she feel so out of sorts?
“Mom.”
Jenna raised her head. Tanner spoke to her, but it took her a moment to comprehend. When her eyes met his he repeated his question, “Can I go to the movies tonight with Jimmy?”
“I heard a certain red haired girl is going too.” Maureen winked at Tanner who turned scarlet.
“Just as friends, Nanny.”
Jenna cleared her throat, her voice rusty, “Sure, I guess. Did you have any homework?”
“Got it all done.”
“Well, then all right. As long as you’re home by ten, you have school tomorrow.”
“I will.” Tanner excused himself from the table but remembered to ask for money before leaving the dining room.
“You’ll have to get my purse. I think I left it on the stand by the door.”
“Let me, Jen,” Tres stood and fished his wallet from his pocket before Jenna could complain.
“Wow, thanks.” Tanner pocketed the money, kissed his mother and headed out the door before Jenna could stop him.
“That was a fifty-dollar bill, Tres,” Jenna complained.
“I know. I figured that would cover two movie tickets and snacks for him and his date.”
“He’d only need half that amount.”
“I’m sorry. I should have given it more thought.”
Jenna shoved her plate away and sighed. “No, it’s fine. I’m just tired. I think I’ll head on home and get some rest. I didn’t sleep well last night.”
Jenna stood to leave but Maureen stopped her, “I moved your things to the back bedroom. You have a renter in the bungalow.”
Jenna’s mouth dropped open, “Really? Well, Linsie works fast doesn’t she?”
Maureen shrugged her cheeks pink.
Tres opened his mouth to speak but Maureen interrupted, “Oh, goodness, I had better get on these dishes or I’ll never make it to evening service.”
“Let me get those Maureen, that way you can get ready without hurrying,” Jenna offered, suddenly ashamed for having considered skipping out on clean up.
“Oh, no...you need to rest dear.”
“I’ll do the dishes.” Tres stood and started clearing the table before Jenna could respond.
“Let me help you young man,” Sam offered, attempting to push Maureen and Jenna from the room, but they both remained.
Together, Maureen, Jenna, Tres, and Sam had the dishes scrubbing in the dishwasher in a matter of minutes. Maureen was free to dress and leave for Sunday service in record time as Jenna and Tres wiped down counters and swept the floor.
Maureen emerged dressed in her best blue flowered dress, her hair freshly combed and sprayed into place. She smiled at them all. “Well, I think I’ll stop and get a fresh bouquet of flowers for the altar tonight. Got a lot to be thankful for. Come with me, Sam?”
Sam flushed. His words were soft, “If you wouldn’t mind a dishonored preacher tagging along?”
“Of course not. Dishonored?” She shook her head and gave him a fierce scowl. “Posh! Stop talking such foolishness.” She wrapped an arm around Sam’s and nearly dragged him from the house.
Jenna plopped down in her seat. She felt the weight of the week end bare down on her. Her life was changed and she needed to think it all through, but her head buzzed from lack of sleep.
Tres kneeled in front of her. “You need to rest. You look beat.”
Jenna smiled, “I feel beat.”
“Come on.” He pulled her gently to her feet, “Let’s get you to bed.”
Jenna nodded and allowed him to walk with her to the spare room. “I guess this is home for now, until the fishermen leave my house.” She yawned and stretched and fell like cut timber on top of the fluffy comforter.
Tres sat beside her. Last night he had been so angry, now he couldn’t imagine ever yelling at her. She looked thin, her eyes tired and strained. She had raised their son by herself. She could have had any man, but she had sealed herself off, had loved him though she thought he had abandoned her. He stroked the silky hair away from her face, brushing it gently across her neck. “I’m sorry, Jenna. I’m sorry I was harsh. I want to stay here. I want to spend every day of my life with you and Tanner. I want this to be my life.” He kissed her ear as he whispered, “Tell me you feel the same way.”
She said nothing. Tres felt panic grip his heart. “Jenna?”
No answer. He shook her shoulder gently and she let out a sleepy sigh. She had drifted off with the sandman. He kissed her temple and promised, “Tomorrow. We’ll work this all out tomorrow.”
Chapter 19
Jenna woke and rolled onto her side. She opened her eyes a moment, and then closed them again satisfied the light filtering into the room was still weak. She predicted she had at least an hour before the household began to stir. She pulled the comforter tight over her shoulders, tucked it under her chin, then rolled back onto her belly for more sleep. Her body relaxed, her mind drifted and her thoughts floated to Tres. It pleased her to have him back in her life. If the situation wasn’t so complicated and awkward, she would be totally exhilarated. She had so many difficulties to work out, she wasn’t even certain where to begin, or with whom to start. Tanner? Tres? Her dad? Where should the healing begin?
But then, she thought with a frown, she appeared to be the only one who seemed troubled. Tres appeared to transition into the inner sanctum without missing a beat. He and Tanner got along well at dinner and seemed to be moving smoothly to the buddy zone. Tanner didn’t seem the least bit uncomfortable in his presence. The conversation among all of them flowed easily with no awkward silences or tension filled air, at least not until she scolded Tres about giving money to Tanner.
Jenna buried her head deeper into her pillow. A flash of the faces around the table shot through her mind. All of them looked at her with shock ... and fear? They definitely looked nervous. Because they all want to remain at peace, she decided. She shouldn’t have said anything. He only tried to bridge the gap with his son. One time wouldn’t have hurt.
But she had the right to say something. She needed to make certain Tres didn’t set a precedent. Tanner might think milking Tres for money was his right, and that wouldn’t do. No matter how tempting, she couldn’t allow Tres to buy Tanner off with money and gifts. She’d worked hard to make him appreciate what he got. She couldn’t let Tres’s need to be accepted spoil Tanner. Maybe if someone had forced her own mother to be a responsible adult, instead of an overgrown willful child, she’d have made better decisions. Her mother’s thoughts always centered on herself. She’d willingly debase herself and humiliate her family and her daughter to have what she wanted.
Jenna groaned. She felt disloyal when she remembered her mother as the fragile human she was. Her father always taught her not to judge her, just love her—warts and all. And she did. But she didn’t want a child like her. Tanner had never met his grandmother, yet it was funny how much his personality was like hers. He wielded a smile as effectively as a knight used a saber. He was rarely quiet like her; he had a charm and an ease that was rare among adolescents. Add overindulgence to the mix and he could turn into the same sort of creature as Jennifer Morris.