Pleasing the Pirate: A Loveswept Historical Romance (16 page)

“What if he doesn’t come home with you?”

“He will.”

“But what if he doesn’t? What will happen to you and your kinsmen?”

She began walking, too anxious to stand still. “Do you really want to know?”

“I do.” Phin walked with her, his hands clasped behind his back.

“If I don’t bring Grant home with me then there will be no one to take charge of our land and I will be forced to marry Bruce MacGowan.” Even saying the words made her stomach clench in dread and fear.

“This MacGowan, do you want to marry him?” Phin asked.

“Wants and needs are two different things, Captain. If Grant doesn’t come home, then I will need to marry him. He threatens to take our land, level our home. My only hope is to agree to marry him and hope he will allow the women to remain. I’m all they have now.”

“How will you convince him to allow the women to stay?” His voice was tight, almost too controlled. His jaw was rigid.

She lifted her hands in defeat. “I know not. I have nothing but the fact that he is in dire need of an heir. And he desperately wants our land.”

“So you will give up everything and bear his children on the slim hope that he will provide some sort of home for these women?”

“Not a home. A home is where a family and laughter lives. They have no family and it’s been a long while since there was laughter. I’m referring to shelter and food and maybe even a bit of clothing.”

“You will give up your freedom for that?”

She paused but in her heart she knew she would. One only had to look into their eyes and witness the pain, the desperation, the hopelessness and the terror that they had nowhere else to go. To turn her back on them would be heartless. “Yes. I will.”

Silence followed them for several steps.

“Is this MacGowan a decent man?” Phin asked after a bit.

Mairi chose her words carefully, understanding that she was possibly speaking of her future husband. “He has a fine keep that has all the latest improvements.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“The best you can say about him is that he has a fine keep? Will he treat you well? Is he kind?”

“Does it matter? If I don’t convince Grant to return with me, MacGowan will take our land if I agree to marry him or not. My hope is that by agreeing he will be amenable to certain conditions.”

“Housing the women and children in return for an heir.”

“Yes.”

He tilted his head and studied her. “But what about you?”

She waved her hand in the air and smiled even though she felt her insides shriveling. “I’ll live in his fine house and once again have fine gowns and eat rich food.” And mayhap have a child of her own to love.

The terrace door banged open. Mairi and Phin spun around as a whirlwind of pale blue skirts and blond hair catapulted toward them. The little girl Mairi had met in the hallway earlier threw herself at Phin, who caught her and picked her up.

“Papa!” She patted his face.

A nursemaid came scurrying out, her expression horrified, “My apologies, sir. I told her she must wait until you were finished speaking to the lady.”

Phin smiled at the girl in his arms while Mairi looked on in horror. Of course she’d speculated that the little girl was his, but to be confronted with it in such a way was shocking and … well, disappointing.

“It’s quite all right, Carrie,” Phin said to the nursemaid.

Carrie hovered at the door and Mairi could see the nursemaid was uncertain as to whether she should take the girl or leave. Phin bent his head to the child’s and talked to her softly as she daintily plucked at his artfully arranged cravat, pulling it apart little by little. When together like that Mairi couldn’t tell the difference between their hair, it was so closely matched.

Eventually Carrie slipped back inside and closed the door behind her. Mairi wished with all her heart that she could disappear as well, but she remained where she was, frozen, as she watched father and daughter together.

The child picked a bit more at Phin’s cravat, completely unraveling the intricate design. Phin chuckled and raised his head. Their gazes locked and Mairi was unable to look away, caught, ensnared with a thousand questions tripping over her tongue.

“Annabelle,” he dipped his head to the little girl again. “I would like you to meet Miss McFadden. She is our houseguest for a little while.”

Annabelle—and what a pretty name that was, so fitting for the little imp—looked at her with wide gray eyes.

“Annabelle and I have met,” Mairi heard herself say. She felt as if she were disconnected from her body and that a different person was speaking.

Phin looked at her in surprise. “You have?”

“In the hallway this morning. It seems she escaped from her nursemaid.”

“She has a habit of doing that.” He smiled down on the child with pride.

Mairi smiled, but her lips quivered. She backed toward the terrace doors, longing for escape. “I’ll leave the two of you to visit. I’ll—”
Escape
, was what she wanted to say. Instead she waved her hand toward the door and fled.

* * *

She told herself that it didn’t matter. If Phin had a daughter, she didn’t care.

There were many men who had daughters. She daresay there were many pirates who had daughters as well.

Was there a wife? Was it the woman she’d seen from her window?

She stood at the window of her bedchamber, but the beautiful gardens were empty.

She’d let herself get too close. She let herself care for the man. It was in her nature, she supposed. After all, she took in abandoned women and babies and let their problems become hers. Hence the reason she was in England in the first place.

She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. Yes, she’d begun to care for Phin in ways that were neither healthy nor desirable. For a wee bit she’d imagined he was all hers. They’d spent so much time together alone that it wasn’t surprising her thoughts went in that direction.

The appearance of Annabelle was a good thing. It reminded Mairi of what was more important.

So she had to make the best of the situation, which meant she had to be firm with herself. No more thinking of Phin in inappropriate ways. Of course there was the matter of their agreement, but in her estimation the agreement was void since Phin had had no intention of helping her find Grant. At least not in the way she had supposed.

Movement on the terrace below snagged her attention. The blond woman walked out and lowered herself into a chair. Determined to get some answers, Mairi hurried out of her room.

Ezra scrambled to his feet, alarmed when he saw her rushing down the steps. She waved him away. “No worries, Ezra, just going out to the back gardens.”

He stared after her as she hurried by.

The woman was still there when Mairi slowed her steps enough to look at her closely.
She was tall and slim and wore a tailored gown of deep maroon.

She didn’t move when Mairi stepped onto the terrace so she made her way around her and sat beside her. The woman started, as if she had been in deep thought.

Mairi smiled. “Good morning.”

The woman folded her hands in front of her and stared at Mairi. She blinked a few times and Mairi’s smile faltered.

“My name is Mairi McFadden.”

The woman’s eyes darted around, as if she were panicked. And then her gaze caught on something and she smiled. Mairi turned around to find Phin standing behind them. His expression was inscrutable, not angry but not pleased, either.

Mairi looked at the woman, who was frowning up at Phin.

He moved his hands in a few quick gestures. The woman looked at Mairi.

“Would you like to introduce us?” Mairi asked politely, while her insides churned with anger. If he didn’t want her meeting certain members of his family then he bloody well should have kept her in London.

“This is Susan,” he said.

Mairi smiled at her, waiting for him to tell Susan who she was, but he didn’t, and Susan stared at her warily as she inched toward Phin. She reached for his hand and he took it, squeezing it affectionately.

“I am Mairi,” she finally said, shooting Phin a disgusted look.

“She can’t hear you,” he said. “She’s deaf.”

For long moments Susan and Mairi stared at each other. For once Mairi didn’t know what to say. She’d never met anyone who couldn’t hear. There had been a boy in the Ferguson clan who’d been born deaf, but she’d never encountered him, just heard stories of him.

“Welcome to my home,” Susan said. The words were monotone and a bit loud, but surprisingly discernible.

My home
. And Phin had called this his home as well.
There you go, Mairi. You have your answer
. Even though she’d suspected it, she was still shocked and disappointed to hear it.

Susan smiled. She was a handsome woman. Not beautiful, or pretty exactly, but handsome, with her chiseled cheekbones and elegant brow and blond hair pulled back in a bun.

“I can speak.” Her hand fluttered around her ear. “But I can’t hear.” She touched her lips
and pointed to Mairi. “I can read your lips.”

Mairi had never heard of such a thing as reading lips. What exactly did that mean? Susan stared at her mouth and Mairi took that as an invitation to say something.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Susan smiled and nodded. “We don’t get many visitors.”

Phin stepped forward and touched Susan’s shoulder. She looked up at him. “You may leave us now.”

Amused, Mairi watched his reaction play across his face. It was obvious he did not want the two of them together, and it was just as obvious that he was reluctant to disobey Susan.

He bowed slightly. “Very well. Fetch me if you need me.” He shot Mairi a veiled, searching look before he went inside.

Susan turned back to Mairi with a smile. “He hovers,” she said, causing Mairi to chuckle.

She didn’t know who this woman was to Phin, although she had her suspicions, but she did know that she liked her already.

“So what brings you here?” Susan asked.

“Phin, uh, Mr. Lockwood brought me.” Mairi had yet to figure out exactly why Phin brought her here instead of keeping her at the Coxswain. Especially when his wife was in residence.

“Is he treating you well?”

“Of course.” And he was. He was clothing her and feeding her. That was something.

Susan peered into her eyes as if searching for the truth. “I know Phin. He can be …” Her hands fluttered about. “Impetuous.”

Such an odd conversation to be having with the man’s wife.

“I don’t know about impetuous, but he’s … interesting.”

Susan smiled broadly and it transformed her face into something beautiful. “Interesting is good, too. Tell me how you know Phin.”

Mairi made a choking sound and was glad that Susan couldn’t hear it. She could never tell this woman that she’d boarded Phin’s ship and took him at gunpoint. Oh, how naïve she’d been that day to think her little pistol would frighten the likes of the fierce pirate.

“We met in Scotland,” she said, settling for the partial truth.

Susan looked surprised. “Phin was in Scotland?”

Mairi hesitated, not knowing how much Phin told this woman of his life. If she were his wife, wouldn’t she know where her husband was?
Not necessarily
. “Yes.”

“What was he doing in Scotland?”

“I have no idea.” She’d never asked and neither did she care. The fact that he was there had been a boon to her. Or so she thought at the time. It seemed too coincidental that Phin was right where she needed him to be at the exact moment she needed him. Had it all been prearranged? Had James been involved as well? No. She couldn’t believe that.

“And how long will you be staying?” Susan asked in her particular way of speaking. Now that they’d been conversing for a bit Mairi wasn’t as surprised at the monotone way Susan spoke.

“I don’t know. Until Phin finishes his business. He has offered to help me find my brother.”

Susan nodded, looking thoughtful. “Phin has a large heart.”

Mairi wasn’t so sure. She feared that, as much time as she’d spent with Phin, she knew next to nothing about him. And the longer she spent with him the more questions she had.

Susan touched her knee, drawing Mairi’s gaze to hers. “I’m glad you are here. It gets lonely. I’ve never been into town.”

“You’ve never been into London?” Of course Mairi hadn’t either until recently but she lived farther away from the city than Susan. She would have thought Susan would have at least ventured the few miles into the heart of the city. Or that Phin would have taken her.

“Tell me about it.” Susan leaned forward and stared intently at Mairi’s lips.

“It smells and it’s noisy. Oh.” Embarrassed because she’d almost forgotten that Susan couldn’t hear, she could feel her face heat. “My apologies.”

Susan patted her knee. She could tell already that Susan was a toucher, one of those people who liked human contact. “Do not worry. I could hear once so I can imagine what you mean. Go on.”

The woman seemed hungry for any news, anything that would brighten her world. What was wrong with Phin, not letting her out of the boundaries of his land? London wasn’t the prettiest place in the world but it possessed a sort of energy that Mairi had never experienced before. Bedford Square, though such a short distance from London, was very different from the actual city.

“There are people everywhere and most of them are frightening.”

Susan laughed. It didn’t sound like a hearing person’s laugh. It was louder and monotone but it made Mairi smile just the same.

“I saw an opera.”

“Oh!” Susan clapped her hands together. “Tell me. Were there women in ball gowns? And men in formal attire?”

“Yes. They were magnificent. And the jewels! I’ve never seen so many in one place. Actually, I’ve never seen any like that.”

“Was the opera good?”

“It was in Italian so I didn’t understand much of it but the audience seemed to like it.” Truth was, Mairi hadn’t paid much attention to the opera. She’d still been shocked over the revelation that Phin was using her to get to Grant. She’d been trying so hard to figure out what to do with the information that the opera had simply been noise in the background.