“Let’s go do something fun.”
Luke stood in her doorway the next weekend. A long week of nearly silence from John, and even louder silence from Marcus Leary had finally passed. Where was Marcus? No one knew. Marcus had dropped off the radar and was no doubt in search of where she and Tim had disappeared to. He was probably, right now, watching her sister Kelly. Not so close that he’d get caught, but close enough to determine whether or not Kelly was helping Cassie. Cassie knew in her gut that was the route Marcus would take to find her, and that’s why Kelly’s ignorance of her situation, was what would keep her safe.
Cassie missed Kelly with each day that went by. She had told Kelly she and Tim were taking a long overdue vacation. She had called her sister a few times. But each time she called she felt worse than before she called; she hated lying to Kelly.
She glared at Luke. “Fun? Doing what? Counting sea shells in the yard?”
“I see your mood has improved. Feeling a little housebound?”
“You can’t even imagine.”
“Okay, so let’s go to the park.”
“Park? And do what? Play on the swings? No, thank you.”
“It’s a little more than that kind of park. It’s a very popular tourist destination, and we’re taking your son to see it.”
“All right,” Cassie said, feeling a flicker of interest at getting out of the house.
Cassie followed Luke downstairs and bundled Tim up in boots and a thick coat, then did the same to herself. The day was brilliantly sunny, and cold. Late January shouldn’t be a beautiful time to go sight-seeing, but today it was.
Just as they were climbing into Luke’s truck, John’s SUV came down the driveway. Cassie sighed. John had been in a foul mood toward her and rarely showed up at the house. Her presence in his life had done wonders for his relationship with Sarah Cassie suspected, seeing as how he nearly lived at Sarah’s in order to avoid her.
“I’m taking Cassie and Tim to Cape Disappointment, want to come?”
“No.” He was careful to avoid glancing her way.
“Please John?” Tim asked, walking over to look up at him. “Don’t you want to come with us? Luke said there are some lighthouses to look at.”
Cassie smiled sweetly. “You don’t have to bother, we don’t want to disturb you.”
John’s dark eyes narrowed as they stood there in a childish staring contest. Then he said cheerfully to Tim, with eyes glued to Cassie. “Sure I’d like to come with you Tim. I’m sure your mother would love the company.”
“Right,” Cassie mumbled as she and Tim climbed into the jump seat of Luke’s truck, and John took the front seat. Then she was stuck in the cab with John on the four mile drive from Seaclusion, to Ilwaco, where they turned off toward Cape Disappointment State Park. Four miles that should have been a pleasant diversion touring the area, but John’s presence in the cab made Cassie overly aware of each movement she made or word she uttered. Why did she give John the power to make her feel so self-conscious? Around John, she was reduced to feeling like a kid waiting to be disciplined by the school principal.
They started up the highway, a twisting two lane road, with thick woods covering each side; Cassie’s interest in where they were going started to get piqued. Finally curiosity won out. “What is this place?”
John glanced back. “You don’t know much about this area do you?”
“No. Why would I? I didn’t exactly read the travel brochures when I decided to hide out here.”
Luke laughed, then added, “This park is pretty well known because it’s the southernmost tip of the state, where the Columbia River meets the Pacific Ocean. It’s called the graveyard of the Pacific.”
“The what?”
“Over two hundred ships sunk at the mouth of the Columbia River, killing over seven hundred people. They’ve since engineered it so it isn’t so dangerous.”
“Is that where the name Cape Disappointment came from?”
“No, that name came from when one of the original explorers looking for the Columbia River missed it,” Luke said, smiling at her in the rear view mirror.
She’d relocated to a place with the name of Cape Disappointment? Like that could be a good omen for the place she’d chosen as refuge from a violent stalker. Or that this was the graveyard of the Pacific. She shuddered at what the name conjured up for her.
John had been watching her. Their eyes met. She looked away first.
“So what are we seeing?”
“All of it. There’s the Lewis and Clark Museum, Waikiki Beach, the two lighthouses, campground, and to top it all off, an old military post.”
“How big is this place?”
“Do you have somewhere else to be?”
No. She didn’t. She had nowhere to be. Ever. Nor did she have anything to do. They explored everything, and finally, their excursion lifted Cassie’s spirits. The scenery was beautiful, big waves, big blue sky, lighthouses, towering cliffs and endless evergreen trees.
Finally Luke ended his tour at the North Head Lighthouse. They walked the half mile trail to the white and red structure. The four of them stood nearly two hundred feet above treacherous cliffs and rocks, watching the ocean’s show of thrashing waves and spray below. It was a panoramic view of blue sky against pale blue ocean, pine trees and cliffs, and the unusual beauty of Waikiki beach below them, until it hit the North Jetty that trailed into the ocean for two miles.
Tim was enthralled with the place. He climbed onto the small chain link fence that couldn’t be but four feet tall, nearly giving Cassie a heart attack as he pretended he was the captain of a ship heading out to sea.
“This is considered one of the windiest spots in the United States.”
Startled, Cassie turned from her slow perusal of the view toward John. His sudden appearance and the friendly fact he threw out surprised her more than the view. Why had John walked all the way over and started a conversation with her? All day he’d been sure to tag along talking with Luke and Tim while being even more surly than usual toward her. Once in a while she glanced his way and caught him scowling at her. She wondered what she’d done today to inflame his general anger at her.
“It feels like it could be the edge of the world.”
“You should see it in a storm. It’s said the howling of the wind drove one lighthouse keeper’s wife to fling herself off the cliffs.”
“Are you hoping I will too?”
“Just making conversation.”
“Why?”
He shrugged.
She turned and looked back over the view. “Why do you know so much about this place?”
John leaned over, resting his forearms on the fence and looking out toward sea. She turned her head and found him nearly eye level with her.
“Sarah actually. She loves this place. She loves Seaclusion, she works on different web sites to attract tourists, and bring in people for the annual Kite Festival. She’s always spouting off stories and history of the area. She’s like a walking encyclopedia about it. Luke and I both picked up on quite a bit of it.”
“That surprises me,” Cassie said, her tone snide. She regretted it instantly. For some reason John was being nice, and she’d just sent them back to insults.
“Sarah’s not stupid. She plays up the flighty thing, and usually gets what she wants because people underestimate her.”
“Oh.” Was this John’s way of telling her there was more to Sarah then meets the eye? Why would John care that she know that?
“Why are you talking to me?” she asked, after a loaded silence of them standing side by side, their gazes glued toward the horizon.
He let out a deep breath. “I’ve been trying to figure out why you were going on a date with my brother.”
“What? Why would you say such a thing? I’ve been locked up in your house for weeks now. Do you have any idea whatsoever what Tim and I do for all those hours you’re working, and at Sarah’s? We sit in your house. Walking the beach only takes up so many hours. The rest of it I’m waiting. I don’t even know what I’m waiting for. So Luke asks to get me out of the house, and you think I agreed as some sort of come on? Is that why you came? To chaperone us? Make sure I don’t try to seduce your brother while my six-year-old son plays captain not twenty feet away?”
John glanced her way. “No that’s not why I came. Tim asked. How could I refuse him? It’s just that Luke is pretty vulnerable right now.”
“I get that. His pregnant wife died. Can you give me a little bit of credit for understanding that? I wouldn’t hurt him or hit on him. Come off it, you know that much about me.”
“Sometimes I don’t think rational when it comes to you.”
“No. You don’t think at all when it comes to me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong; I think way too much when it comes to you. You see, you hold a place in my life no other woman has.”
She closed her eyes and turned away, knowing exactly what that place was. She waited for him to continue, for John to tell her what he thought of her, and what she’d done to him a decade ago. Instead silence met her. She finally looked at him. He stared off into the horizon, his expression blank.
“Does anyone know?” he asked finally.
“About what happened between us? No.”
“Keep it that way. You owe me that much.”
Then he turned and walked toward Luke. Cassie lagged behind, shaken by the exchange, reminded once again, that John’s behavior toward her was justified. She had no one to blame but herself for his opinion of her. She suspected that was exactly what John’s point had been today; to remind her exactly who and what she really was.
****
Over the next week Luke and Cassie formed a friendship that was the only bright spot about Cassie’s current situation. After a day spent alone in the house with Tim, she was grateful that Luke came home and spent each evening with them. They worked together making dinner, cleaning up, sharing conversation and playing with Tim. They lived almost entirely by themselves as John had taken to spending each evening at Sarah’s. If John came home for the night he was usually gone before Cassie came down for breakfast, a fact that was just fine with her.
Cassie had no idea how long their living situation would go on, or what would happen to end it. She could only wait and hope that eventually it would be safe enough for her and Tim to continue on with their lives. Until then, all that Cassie could do was to try and keep John’s hatred of her from getting her kicked out of his house.
Cassie got out once a week under Luke’s escort to clean the clinic. She did the house in the endless hours she was home with Tim alone. She didn’t even go out shopping after Luke suggested John was right, she should stay out of sight as much as physically possible. Why advertise her presence here in town?
She was doing laundry one evening three weeks after having moved in when John walked in. It was unusual for him to come home at nine o’clock in the evening. It was even more unusual that he came into a room she was already in. She said hi. He ignored her. She shrugged and turned back to fold her pile of clean clothes. He didn’t move. She turned back and looked at him closer. His expression looked different than usual.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he snapped. He sat down on the love seat opposite her and flicked the TV on. He watched it intently, ignoring her. Something was off. John didn’t sit in a room with her, especially if they were alone and he had a choice.
She stood in his line of vision, blocking the TV. “What’s going on?”
“Move.”
“Is it Sarah?”
“No. It’s not Sarah.”
“Is it me?”
He glanced at her. “Why would it be you? Seeing as how you’ve taken over my house, my brother and my entire life?”
“There is that. But that usually makes you run to Sarah to avoid me. So what has you running here?”
“I don’t run to Sarah. She’s my girlfriend; I want to be with her.”
“Luke says you never used to hang out at her place. That she always used to come here.”
“Yeah, well, the six-year-old kid keeps things a little different for me around here.”
Cassie hadn’t considered that Tim would interfere with John’s sex life. She should feel bad about that. She should feel guilty. She should want to fix that. But she didn’t. She was glad John had to do it somewhere else.
“So if it’s nothing new at me. Or Sarah. What’s wrong with you?”
“I want to watch TV in my own damn house. That’s not a crime. It’s my house. Leave me alone.”
“It must be work then. Did something happen?”
He glared up at her. “What part of leave me alone don’t you get? Of course something happened at work, something happens every day. I deal with sick people. Blood. Disabilities. Cancer. Death. Today it was cancer.”
“Oh.” She had expected a fight with Sarah, or further annoyance at her. Not that. Not life and death. She wasn’t sure what to say. “That sounds awful.”
He snorted. “I’m a doctor Cassie, what do you think that means?”
“A lot. I can’t imagine what it’s like. But you care; there isn’t anything more that could be asked of you.”
“It’s not the first or last time.”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“Well you can’t help me. You can’t do anything for me. I don’t want to talk about it. Sarah gets when I have bad days, I want to be alone. And I could be if I wasn’t living with you.”
She met his scathing gaze without expression or comment. She nodded. She gathered the rest of her unfolded laundry into the laundry basket. As she started up the stairs she glanced at John, now staring at the TV.
“I was in here first. You’re the one who sat down to watch TV, when you could have gone to your room. So maybe being left alone by me isn’t really what you want.”
Chapter Eight
John dug his fingers into the armrest as he glared after Cassie’s retreating figure. So what if he was a little tired and out of sorts? Sarah didn’t like him when he was in this mood, so he’d come straight home, something he’d stopped doing in the last few weeks. Maybe Cassie was right, he didn’t want to be alone, but he didn’t want comfort from her either. He didn’t even know why he’d spoken to her.
What did she know about him or how he felt about anything? She’d shown up a decade later in his life looking like hell, and with a kid who was in danger. He knew little of how she’d ended up at this point in her life. Then again he knew nothing about her period. He’d spent his youth nearly obsessed with her, and as it turned out, he had never even known her.