He looked at her. “You’re not blameless in how I feel about you.”
She shifted her gaze to the wall. “Just leave.”
He took her chin, forced her to look into his eyes. “It’s going to be all right.”
She squeezed her eyelids tight as tears slid free. “You don’t know that. I don’t know that. He’s just a kid. Look what I’ve done to him. I gave him a father who wants to kill me. I’ve taught him that there are monsters in the world he has to be afraid of. He’s six. He’s too young for this.”
“Tim is going to be okay. He’s okay here. He feels safe. And he knows you love him. He’s a great kid.”
“In spite of having me as a mother?”
“Because you’re his mother.”
She wiped her eyes. “It must make you want to bite your tongue off to compliment me.”
“I don’t say anything I don’t mean. You can’t accuse me of lying to you.”
She blew out a deep breath. “I want to go home.”
“Give it time, this thing has to work out.”
“How?”
“Someone is bound to catch up with Leary, and when that happens, we’ll figure out what to do next.”
“We?”
“Yes, we. Luke and I aren’t washing our hands of you and Tim anytime soon. I get that now. Wherever this situation goes, you’ll have our help, and you will be fine. I promise. We won’t leave you and Tim alone.”
She dropped her head as she nodded. “Thank you. I guess I overreacted earlier.”
“Don’t you always?”
“I’ll apologize to Sarah.”
“Tim’s doing fine and so are you.”
“Until Sarah,” she grumbled.
“Yeah until Sarah. It’s all her fault your life sucks,” he said nearly smiling at her. Then he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. Maybe it was the look on her face. Maybe it was the result of last night’s talk. Whatever it was, he knew as soon as her face came close to him it was a mistake to touch her.
****
John’s arms were around her shoulders. The heat of his body seemed to draw her like a moth to a flame. Safety. Warmth. Caring. She buried her face against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck, the rest of her curling up next to him. He didn’t move a muscle. She rested against him; she could smell the soap he used. She closed her eyes against the tears, and let the feel of John warm her up.
For the first time in a decade, she remembered what John felt like, what he made her feel. For the first time since seeing him again, ten years melted away, and he was hers again, and not the cold, distant stranger he had become.
His arms settled around her, and she could sense his reluctance. She almost pulled away in embarrassment. But he felt so right. His hands spread flat on her back, warm and soothing. She lifted her head. His gaze caught hers, the heat in his stare was nearly physical over her body. All she had to do was move her head slightly, and their lips would touch.
He lowered his head a fraction of an inch. She raised hers as much, and their lips met. His mouth was on hers, warm and soft and welcoming. Her body reacted like a wave of heat had been injected into her bloodstream. His arms tightened around her. Her heart rate increased.
His hands moved on her back, restlessly bunching her t-shirt. He tugged at the elastic in her hair. Then her hair was free falling around them in a long curtain. He grabbed it in his fist, holding her head still, anchoring it, as his tongue came deep and hot into her mouth. She went nearly limp against him. He pulled her so she straddled his lap.
He pushed up her shirt, lifting her bra out of the way. She groaned at the sudden pressure of his hands on her. Oh God it felt so good. Need and lust pooled into her stomach, running in waves lower and lower. On and on he kissed her, as his hand flicked and rubbed at her tight nipples.
Then suddenly, his movements stilled.
His mouth came off hers. He slid his hands from her flesh, replaced her bra, and lowered her shirt back into place. Dazed she looked into his eyes. Why had he stopped?
Then she caught on. Her mind cleared. Why had he stopped? Of course he’d stopped. Good God, his girlfriend and brother were somewhere downstairs, entertaining her son. How the hell had she let this happen?
“Tim’s calling you.”
Then she heard it, what John had heard, and she’d been too turned on to notice; her son calling for his mommy. She’d only been conscious of the rushing of her bodily fluids. She met John’s gaze, their faces only inches apart. What had she just done? Her heart sank as the consequences of what had happened raced through her mind.
“Mommy?”
Thank God Tim wasn’t standing in the bedroom doorway. The door was half open; any member of the household could have walked in and found them like this. She untangled herself quickly from John and got up on shaky legs. John looked up at her, his dark eyes hard with anger.
She turned and left.
Tim was in bed. He sat up, his arms lifted toward her. She picked him up and hugged him protectively. He didn’t say anything. He’d had a nightmare. She knew the drill, they went through this regularly. The hall light was on outside Tim’s room. John was right there, in the doorway, watching her.
Sometime during their conversation Luke had been just across the hall putting Tim to bed. A stab of guilt sliced into her gut. She should have been in taking care of her son, not moping about circumstances she couldn’t change. What was wrong with her?
“Hi John,” Tim said. “I got scared.”
Cassie lifted her gaze to John. John’s face softened when he looked down at Tim. “Yeah, what about?”
“He has nightmares regularly,” she added.
“I dream a monster gets my mommy.”
John looked at Cassie, then back at Tim with comprehension. “No monster is going to get your mom. Luke and I won’t let them. You know that right?”
Tim swung his legs down and went to John, hugging his leg. “Mommy says that too.”
John put his arms around Tim. “It’s true.”
“Even though you don’t like her?”
Cassie gasped. “Tim. That’s not true.”
Tim looked at Cassie. “He looks mad at you all the time.”
John sighed. “I don’t hate your mom Tim. I look that way because I’m thinking so much about keeping you both safe.”
“Really?”
“Yes, honey, of course.” Cassie joined in John’s story.
“Luke’s protecting us, and he smiles all the time at her.”
“Well, I’ll have to make sure I look that way too,” John said to Tim. His eyes pierced Cassie.
“Come on baby, time to go back to bed. No monsters okay? We’re safe. I’m safe.”
Tim snuggled into his bed.
Cassie suddenly wanted to hold and rock Tim as she’d done when he was a baby, as if she could shield him from the dangers she knew lurked out in the world. She wanted to reassure herself he was really okay. But instead she said simply, “I love you.”
“Me too.” Tim smiled sweetly and easily rolled over, hugging his bear, and somehow she’d made his world all right and he was ready for sleep again.
Cassie started to back out of the room when Tim said, “Night, John.”
“Night, Tim,” John answered. Cassie startled. She’d forgotten John was in the doorway.
“I’m glad you don’t hate my mommy because I like it here. I want to stay forever.”
Cassie and John were in the hallway together with Tim’s proclamation between them. What if Tim hadn’t had a nightmare? How far would they have gone?
“That was stupid in there.” John nodded his head to her bedroom.
“I know.”
She didn’t want to talk about it, or hear his theories about why she had come onto him. She started to turn into her bedroom, but she stopped and said over her shoulder, “Besides, nothing would have happened, contrary to what you told Tim, you do hate me. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure Tim knows we definitely aren’t staying here forever.”
****
He entered Heather Reeves dilapidated trailer well after midnight, careful to keep the rusty hinges from squeaking. He passed by the sleeping woman on the couch. Her mouth hung open, drool puddling onto the stained couch under her. Unlikely anything would wake the old drunk. Cassie had learned all her whoring ways from Heather.
His eyes focused on her neck. He could snap it with one twist, in less than thirty seconds. His hands twitched. It would be
almost
like Cassie. Balling his fists at his side, he moved away. Heather wasn’t Cassie. She wasn’t worth the extra trouble.
Heather turned over with a load snort. Marcus shook his head. Cassie came from this woman? She was lucky he had ever even considered her good enough for him. Who was she to think she could outsmart him? She’d soon see, no one outsmarted him. And no one got away from him.
Chapter Ten
The doorbell rang, interrupting Cassie’s troubled thoughts, as she kept re-living what she had done with John last night. She wanted to crawl into a hole, and stay there, rather than face John in the daylight of this ordinary Sunday. She had kissed a man who not only was involved with someone else, but who had repeatedly made it clear how distasteful he found her. John and Sarah had yet to appear. She had no idea where she stood with John. Or what Sarah would know.
Cassie hurried into the living room and put her hands on Tim’s shoulders as Luke got up to answer the door. She hated the nervousness anything unexpected caused her. Or that an early morning doorbell could make her heart race and instantly tie her stomach into knots.
Luke had no more cracked the door than it swung open completely and a tall, skinny streak of red jumped through it. Then Kelly was suddenly on Cassie, hugging her for dear life. Kelly’s embrace was long and tight, her lean body enveloping Cassie in the familiar, safe feeling that only Kelly evoked. Although she had raised Kelly—their mother was usually too drunk to bother with either of them—in recent years, Kelly had become Cassie’s rock as she’d tried to untangle her life from Marcus and raise Tim alone. Kelly had given her money to start her business as well as been available any time Cassie needed her.
“Oh Cassie, God it’s good to see you. You’re okay aren’t you? You look okay. You look wonderful in fact. And Tim? I’ve missed you both so much. I’ve been so worried.” Kelly pushed Cassie back, gripping her hands as she scrutinized Cassie from head to toe, then she pulled Cassie back in for a crushing hug.
“So worried? You’ve only known for twelve hours. How did you get here so fast?”
“I took a red eye out of LA, and then I drove here from Portland.”
“Kelly? Your sister?” Luke questioned from behind them.
Kelly quit hugging Cassie and glanced around with a sweeping look at the house. “Of course Luke, don’t you recognize me? Sure you do, everyone does. It’s great here. Nice house too.”
“Thanks.”
Cassie turned at John’s voice. John’s dark gaze pinned her as he came down the stairway with Sarah behind him. There wasn’t an ounce of reaction in his face.
Kelly squealed. “John Tyler! Get over here and give me a hug. It’s been so long, I can’t believe my sister really is living with you!”
As soon as John hit the foyer, Kelly came against him in another of her exuberant hugs. Sarah was close behind, looking unhappy.
“Hello Kelly. Cassie didn’t mention you were coming.” John grinned at Kelly. Cassie gritted her teeth. John was happy to see her sister. He talked and smiled at Kelly like he never had her. John could barely look at her without grimacing, but Kelly gets the charming, wonderful John that he showed everyone else. Everyone but her.
Sarah too scowled. It galled Cassie to know that if John had hugged Cassie in front of Sarah, she would probably laugh at how cute it was. But Kelly—who had no history with John other than as friendly high school classmates—was the one Sarah was jealous of. And as usual Cassie was as threatening as a puppy.
“Cassie didn’t know I was coming. Surprise,” Kelly answered as she finally disengaged herself from John.
“It’s nine o’clock in the morning.”
“I had to see for myself that you and Tim were really okay.”
“Aunt Kelly?” Tim said from the living room. Kelly squealed and went about greeting Tim as she had the rest of them.
“Have you grown ten inches since I’ve seen you? Are you driving yet?”
Tim giggled. “No Aunt Kelly, I’m only six. You wanna come see my new room? I’m going to stay in it forever, right mom?” That quick, Tim and Kelly were off bounding up the stairs.
“Good lord that’s Kelly?” Sarah grimaced. “She’s quite—”
“Something,” Cassie interjected. “She’s a firecracker in every room she comes into.”
“More like a bomb,” Sarah muttered.
Cassie glared at her.
“What’s she doing here?” Luke asked.
“I don’t know. I thought she was going to stay away because she’s so high profile she’d be easy to follow. I hope she’s okay.”
“She’s okay? You’re the one with a psycho ex-husband stalking you, and you’re worried about her? Please tell me her problems can’t be worse than yours,” Sarah said.
Cassie shrugged. “Could be.”
“Yeah well, just so long as we don’t have to save her too,” Sarah muttered.
“Look Sarah, I know you’re pissed at me about last night, and I’m sorry I lost my temper with you.” Cassie paused to finally meet John’s gaze. He shook his head. John hadn’t told Sarah about what happened between them last night. “And I’m sorry to all of you if Tim and my problems are taking over your lives. I’ll talk to Kelly, maybe we could go with her.”
“No.” Luke put a hand on Cassie’s forearm. “I don’t care if Sarah is inconvenienced; you and Tim are staying with us. No matter how long it takes to guarantee you’re both safe.”
Cassie smiled. “Thank you. You’re too good to us.”
“We’ve been over this before, I’m not willing to let you or that little boy get hurt. And whatever Kelly’s brought along with her, we’ll deal with it. You need to be here with us.”
“Why do you make me out to be the bad guy?” Sarah asked. “I just worry. From what I hear of this husband stalking Cassie, you and John could be in danger too, and I don’t like that. And I wasn’t prepared for this Kelly to be part of the deal.”
“You just don’t seem to get that a little boy’s life is involved. This is serious stuff, but then again, I know that’s hard for you to get,” Luke glared at Sarah. Sarah’s back straightened, and her face turned red.