Precious Blessings (Love Inspired) (13 page)

“I figure we can eat it at your place, it that's okay. I'm stuffed.” With a grin he began stacking the plates and forks and setting them into the sturdy take-out bag they'd gotten from the hostess.

The neighboring car backed out of its space and out of sight, and Jack slung open the door. “I'll be back.”

“I may be waiting. I may not be,” she teased to make him smile. She should be happy, but disappointment was filling her up. She didn't know why.

 

“At least we didn't get any flat tires on the way back.” Jack pulled to a stop in a space marked Guest Parking. “How about that dessert?”

“Come in. I'll make tea.”

A good sign. She seemed relaxed and happy and glad about how things were going.

He was, too. He'd seen the look on her face when she'd watched the elderly couple getting into their car. They both wanted the same thing. Good to know.

Not that he could relax, because the evening wasn't over. There was still time for a disaster or two, but so far so good. He also had Hayden to win over and that wasn't going to be easy.

Give it time, he thought, hurrying around to open the passenger door and take her hand. He was rewarded with a demure smile, pure sweetness. If this didn't work out, he was going to be a mess. He was going to get hurt something bad.

Don't think about that, Jack. Just take it one step at a time. Right now, this step was pretty nice. He grabbed the bagged desserts from the floor, closed the door and locked the vehicle.

“Oh, no. My living-room lights are on.” She froze in her tracks in the middle of the wet, slick parking lot. “It's probably the twins. Maybe you want to rethink our dessert plans.”

“I can handle your sisters.”

“You haven't met the twins. They might send you running.”

“I'm tough. I can take it.”

“Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you.”

The wind battered at the ends of her hair, brushing against the soft angle of her jaw. A lock tumbled into her eyes and he swept it back behind her ear.

Tender feelings rendered him helpless. Nothing could stop him from falling all the way, irrevocably, in love with her.

T
he instant the front door closed behind Jack, Aubrey poked her head in from clearing the dining-room table. “I like him.”

“Totally.” Ava paused with a stack of dessert plates in hand. “He's more dreamy than I thought.”

“He's so into you, Kath.” Aubrey vibrated with happiness as she went back to the table and scooped up the good china teacups with care. “It's so wow.”

“Super wow,” Ava corrected from the kitchen.

Katherine leaned her forehead against the cool plane of the door. How she'd survived the stress of the twins and the end of her date with Jack was too much to contemplate right now. She only knew that she'd survived intact.

Well, almost intact. It was surprising how fast a wish could go from tiny to full-blown. As she dragged herself away from the door, she caught sight of Jack's truck through the window, taillights glowing in the shimmering dark as he drove out of the complex.

“So?” Aubrey looked up from stacking the plates in the dishwasher's bottom basket.

Ava plopped the cups on the counter. “What do you think?”

“It went really well tonight.” Katherine grabbed a dishcloth from the top drawer. “Wonderfully well.”

“You sound very happy.” Ava leaned close. “Tell us. It was a really good date, right?”

Aubrey dragged out the top rack with a clank. “Don't you see? She's in the uh-oh phase.”

“Hey, stop analyzing me. We can discuss the reason why neither of you are dating.” Katherine ran the cloth under the tap and added a couple drops of dishwashing soap. “Ava, what happened to that chef guy you were serious about?”

“Three dates. That doesn't qualify as serious. Stop trying to change the subject.”

“Those white roses have to be from Jack. Not that she'll admit it,” Aubrey said conspiratorially to her twin.

“He's serious.”

“I'm not listening.” Katherine left the room, heading for the table with a few crumbs on it. She scrubbed until the wood gleamed.

Yeah, she thought Jack was serious, too. It had felt
right
when she'd been beside him, with her hand tucked in his much bigger one. She'd never felt so safe and comfortable simply from holding a man's hand. That had to be a sign, right?

It was another sign that she'd never had so many things not go as planned on a first date and still have it
turn out fine. He'd made her laugh. He'd solved every problem that came his way with a sensible competence she found highly attractive.

“Are you going to kick us out?” Ava asked from the sink. “Or are you going to let us hang?”

“C'mon, let us hang with you,” Aubrey pleaded as she shut the dishwasher up tight. “We came just in case things didn't go well and you didn't want to be alone. We can go, but we don't have anything else to do.”

“I was just going to read. You might as well stay.”

“Thanks, Kath,” they said in unison, turning back to wiping down their halves of the counter.

She loved her sisters. Without words, they understood how important this date had been to her. “I'm going to go change.”

“Not too much,” Ava began.

“We like you just the way you are,” Aubrey said.

Katherine rolled her eyes. Sisters. Blessings she thanked God for every day. What if the evening had been a disappointment?
Then
she would really have needed their company.

She peeled off her date clothes and sank into comfy fleece sweats. As she was shoving her feet into a pair of thick wool socks, it hit her. When Jack had talked about the loss of his wife and of her problems, he didn't sound judgmental of her. Or angry or disapproving. Because he had loved her.

Maybe that was a sign of a man with a heart big enough.

Maybe. She would pray on it. Then she'd have to wait and see. See if he called. See if he was still inter
ested after the tire thing and eating dinner in the car and then putting up with her sisters. Face it, Katherine, he might have taken that as a sign to run. Or, at the very least, he could be suffering from dater's remorse.

Please, the deepest part of her heart pleaded, let this work. Let him be the one. She felt totally vulnerable, as if tonight's closeness to Jack had peeled back every defense layer, leaving her spirit exposed, like the root of a rose when the dirt was brushed away.

A sign that she was now in the point-of-no-return phase. She was falling so hard for this man, if he didn't understand, if he turned away from her, she might never be the same.

 

After locking the door after Mrs. Garcia, Jack couldn't figure out what was bugging him. The date had been great. What had gone right had far outweighed what had gone wrong. He ought to be grinning ear to ear. He'd even enjoyed dessert at Katherine's place with her younger twin sisters, who were as funny as could be.

Tonight, he'd gotten a good glimpse of the woman Katherine was, confirming that the surface calm and kindness went deep. That she valued family and marriage. He'd learned they were surprisingly compatible in the ways they handled problems, enjoyed each other's sense of humor and rolled with the punches when things didn't go as planned. They were on the same page on a lot of things like values and living a faith-centered life and wanting a serious relationship. They both liked steaks and chocolate fudge cake.

It was a good start. Tonight, being with her had felt like a fit, a perfect match. As if heaven was saying, see, this is the one who fits in your life.

And, Jack knew, in his heart.

He grabbed the remote from the coffee table and clicked on the TV, keeping the volume low so it wouldn't wake Hayden. He found a news show and left it on for noise. He felt restless. Troubled. He couldn't put his finger on it.

Maybe his Bible would help. He reached for the well-worn leather volume on the middle shelf of the six-foot bookcase. That's when he noticed the shelf below, haphazard and untidy, certainly not the way Mrs. Garcia had left it when she'd done the cleaning. Looking at the thick, tall photo albums made the dam break, and all his personal troubles flooded to the surface, powerful enough to rock him.

I shouldn't have talked about Heidi tonight. His hand seemed to move of its own volition, withdrawing one of the albums and opening it to the middle page. Heidi had gone through a scrapbooking phase and her artistic talent had made the simple pages into beauty.

Our Summer Vacation
was the title, in flowing silver letters with all kinds of color and framework and style. The past flooded him as he studied the pictures they'd taken of the three of them huddled around a Welcome to Yellowstone sign. Hayden so young, she had to be around nine, her hair drawn back by a pink headband, her innocence and happiness shining as bright as the sun. Heidi's eyes were hidden behind dark glasses, and her smile was forced. It had been a hard trip for her.
She'd never come back fully after realizing she would never have more children.

Sometimes, as much as you tried, as much as you loved someone, it wasn't enough. He'd seen too much in his work and he knew, good people had problems. They were all flawed. Life happened, and he'd done everything right, never put his work or himself above his family and his faith.

He'd done it all in the right way, and still he'd lost his wife. Now he feared he could lose his daughter in a fundamental or spiritual way. He wished he could go back in time so he would know not to take Heidi's reassurances that she was fine for the truth. But it was impossible. All he could do now was to forgive her for the wrong choices she'd made out of pain. He closed the book with a thud that echoed in the room. It felt so empty, despite the drone of the television and his little girl upstairs.

He didn't know if he'd thought to forgive Heidi before this. The last few years had been tough: grieving, parenting Hayden alone, trying to make the right choices and the right decisions. Life had a way of carrying you forward whether you meant to or not.

He returned the album to the shelf.

“Dad?” Wrapped in her housecoat Hayden padded silently into the room. “You were looking at the albums.”

She sounded confrontational; he knew a lot hid beneath the surface. “Yep.”

“You probably forgot what Mom looked like, huh? Must have come as a real shock.”

“I miss your mother every day. I suspect I always will miss the chance to make the past right.”

Hayden shrugged, retreating into sarcasm. Her chin came up, her eyes filled with pain. “It's like, yay, she's gone, so I'll just date, right? Whatever.”

“I believe it's what your mother would want.”

“She'd
want
to be replaced? Forgotten? Yeah, right.”

This
was the problem, Jack thought. When he'd had that long counseling session with Marin, this is what she'd said to look for. It was easy to get stuck somewhere on the grieving process. The important thing was to help Hayden move along in her grief and to accept, finally. So she could move past this broken place in her life.

That was what he was trying to do. “No one can replace your mom, Hayden.”

“You seem to think Katherine McKaslin can. You were out with her, right? I'm not a dumb kid anymore.”

“You're the smartest kid I know. And you're going to grow up to be intelligent, good and kind, just like your mom.”

Tears flooded Hayden's eyes. She whipped away to hide them.

“You're so like her, Hayden.” Maybe this was why he had such a hard time seeing Hayden as a teenager, seeing her as a young lady. Because he saw so much of Heidi in her. “Losing your mom nearly killed me, you know that. I haven't liked going on living without her, but it's what we have to do.”

Hayden sniffed. “I'm not gonna forget her. I won't do it. I can't just say, fine, I loved you and stuff but now
you're not here so, too bad. I'll just have a great time. Yippee.”

“Oh, baby.” He'd never quite seen the problem or the solution so clearly. For all his good intentions over the past few years, for all his love and his devotion to his daughter, he'd needed help with this. Marin's help. Katherine's influence. God's guidance. But he had it figured out now, he really did. “I'm not dating Katherine to replace your mom. I would never want that.”

Still faced away from him, her shoulders hunched, his daughter was utter misery. She shook with silent sobs.

“But you don't have to stay miserable to hold onto your mom. I think that's what I've done too, let that sadness simmer into bitterness because as long as I keep grieving her, I think she won't be forgotten. But that's not true.”

Harder sobs.

“Katherine is a nice lady, and I like her. I'm going to date her, but not because I've forgotten your mom. Because I want to honor her. She impacted my life in so many positive ways. That's what we should take with us. All the good things. We should hold those memories close and keep on living. She wants us to have good lives.”

“Wants us? She doesn't want anything, Dad. She's g-gone.”

He placed his hand on her shoulder, a father's tender love filling him. He wanted to protect her from this pain, to stop her tears, to obliterate her misery, but she couldn't walk through it to the other side if he did. “Your mom isn't here anymore, it's true, but she's alive in heaven.”

“You c-can pray, but it doesn't bring her b-back.”

“Her spirit is alive and that means her love for you is alive. Don't stop loving her. Do you think she wants that?”

Hayden shook her head.

“Love her the right way, in prayer. Make good choices in your life to honor her. She's not here like she was, but your mom's love for you is forever. Not even death can stop that.”

She hung her head, as if even more miserable.

Words were words, he knew, until you felt them, until you believed them soul-deep. He reached for the photo albums again. “You were looking at these tonight?”

A watery nod, as if she were hurting too much to speak.

He knew just how that felt. “Do you remember our trip to Yellowstone? The first thing we did was look for buffalo, remember?”

A single nod.

He sensed Hayden looking against her will. He flipped open to the page so she could see. “A bull stepped right out in the road in front of us. And while he stood there for twenty-one minutes, we got a real close view. Remember how hairy he was?”

“Mom was afraid of him, like he was going to gore us, so you took us to a restaurant and ordered buffalo burgers for all of us.” Hayden almost smiled, then her face collapsed and she fell silent, tears on her face.

“It's okay to laugh. It
was
funny. Remember how your mom felt much better after lunch? She wasn't scared anymore.”

She crossed her arms around her middle, as if holding the pain inside. “Don't.”

“I know it hurts, but it will get better. Then, when you look at these pictures you'll remember the good things. The love. The happiness. That's what we get to keep.”

Her gaze traveled to the photos, bright on the open pages, frozen in time. It was hard to know what she was thinking. She snapped the books shut and took them with her as she ambled toward the stairs.

It was late, and she looked tired. Jack knew she'd had a long day. “I'm proud that you stuck it out at the shelter. I know you didn't like it. Marin told me you were doing a great job. She was impressed with you.”

“I just wanted to get the work over and done with.” Hayden hugged the albums to her as paused. “Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“I get what you're trying to say. I just…” She shrugged again, his little girl, clutching the photo albums full of so many memories, books made with everlasting love, looking both so young and so grown-up in the same moment. “G'night.”

“Good night. Don't forget to say your prayers.”