Private Show (The Private Series) (15 page)

Caroline texts me as I am leaving class:

Hey what do you have planned for Benji’s birthday?

Ben’s birthday? Oh crap! I didn’t even think to ask him when his birthday was, but then again he never asked me mine, but knowing him he already knows somehow…

I text back to Caroline:
Um, when is it? I know bad girlfriend…

This Saturday. And no, you are not a bad GF!

Wow, it’s coming up in like a couple of days, the day after my first test run with
Tones
. Yeah, let’s add the pressure of what to do for my boyfriend’s first birthday together and a shot at my dream job…
You got this Tess…
I will have to think of something personal but not too over the top. I reply to Caroline:
I will let you know!

You know what? I am going to play this out like I know nothing about his birthday, then I can surprise him… but with what? I look in my rearview mirror to back out of my parking spot, but I pause when I see my refection. And my gears start to turn on this week’s assignment. I will do a portrait of myself to give to him, a partial nude. Now that will take me out of my comfort zone. But it is something to show him how much he has helped me grow and become confident with myself.

He was right though, we haven’t really communicated very well lately. Am I afraid of what has to be said? What he may admit to? Yes.

But, maybe this gift will solidify how he really feels about me and our relationship. This will be something he has never received before… open vulnerability.

Back home, I make a light dinner for myself and I sketch out some rough ideas for my painting. How I want to pose, what I want to wear. Will this be something that he will like? Do I want to have a half-nude of myself hanging in his place? He said that no one goes there except him family… maybe I should tell him to keep it in his room. Ugh, I can’t believe that I going to do this.

I hear the buzz of my intercom alerting me that I have a visitor.

“Tessy, let me up.” I hear my brother’s deep voice.

I buzz him in. It doesn’t take him long to get up the couple flights of stairs, not with his long legs skipping steps. He must have gotten the tall gene from his biological mother, where I got my mom’s height. I’m vertically jealous of my brother.

“Hey big bro.” I punch him on his arm as he walks in.

He stops at my little breakfast bar and takes off his brown leather jacket and drapes it over the small space, nearly knocking my dinner and… Oh my God, my sketches! I rush over and scoop up my papers.

“What’s that?” He raises an eyebrow. “You working on a new painting? Can I see?” He has always been so supportive over my passion for art and I have always shared all of my work with him, but how do I say,
“Hey big brother, here are the sketches I am working on for a dirty self-portrait for my hot British boyfriend, who you don’t fully trust…”
I’ll tell you how. Don’t.

“Oh, nothing really, just an assignment for class.”

“What’s the assignment?”

Crap.

I sigh, I may as well just tell him, because he won’t stop asking until he has an answer and he knows me too well to know when I am lying. “It’s an open assignment, but it has to be personal. About growth and it has to take us out of our comfort zone. So I decided to do a self-portrait… one that I have never done before.”

“Well, that’s pretty cool. So, what sort of portrait are you going to do that takes you out of your personal comfort zone?” Most of the time he is pretty quick and gets it right away, but tonight he is testing my embarrassment levels.

I shuffle my feet and look down. I bring my sketches up to my chest, hugging them for dear life in fear that he will try to take them.

“Tess!”

I whine, “What?”

“Are you doing a”—his voice drops to a whisper— “nude?”

I viciously shrug and gasp out a harsh breath.

“You know what? I don’t want to know the details of this project.”

“Good.” I tell him.

“Should I let you get to work? Or do you have a few minutes to catch up with your brother?”

I walk over to my little desk and I put my sketches down. Face down.

“Of course! It feels like forever since we talked.” It’s true; ever since I got together with Ben things have been busy. I feel bad about not talking to James as much as we normally do, but then again, he hasn’t been trying to call either.

“So what have you been up to?” I ask.

“Work mostly. I landed a big contract, so it’s taking up a lot of my time in the past couple of weeks. That’s why I haven’t called or texted in a while.”

I nod. “I understand that, I have been quite busy myself.”

“Right. Ben Mitchell.” He looks sickened. This is the one topic and one area of my life he doesn’t fully support.

“Yes, Ben Mitchell, so what?”

James runs a hand through his super short dirty blonde hair
.
“What do you see in the guy, Tess? He’s a womanizer.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “Was.”

James rolls his eyes. “What do you mean, was? You can’t change a guy like that. He is the kind of guy who sleeps with random women and can’t hold a relationship or chooses not to. I don’t want to see you get yanked around by the British douche.”

“Well, I am sorry you see him that way. Ben—” I enunciate his name— “has made it clear that he is no longer seeing any other women. We are together.”

Shaking his head, “I don’t trust him, sis. I am sorry.”

“You can’t treat me like some porcelain and virginal object! I’m not perfect and I know Ben isn’t either and I’m not ready to write him off yet. Can’t you at least meet him before making such harsh judgment on the guy? For me?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my big brother. Aren’t you guys supposed to want to meet their baby sister’s boyfriend, to threaten if they were to hurt them, then they will sick Johnny Concrete Boots on his ass?”

He laughs, “Fine. But only to threaten his Brit ass.”

I throw my arms up, “Knock off the Brit stuff, will ya! It’s not a bad thing you know… in fact it’s pretty hot.”

James sticks his fingers in his ears and la-la-la’s at me. “I don’t want to know!”

Now I am laughing really hard at seeing my bear of a brother in discomfort. “Well if that’s the case you better get out of here, so I can work on my project, which is also his birthday present.”

Making gagging noises, he jumps to his feet. In the doorway, he holds out his arms, waiting for his hug. I walk over and smack his chest before wrapping my arms around his torso.

“Love you Tessy.”

“Love you too.”

After James leaves I have to think about the last time I got together with Erin and about the crappy topic at hand… damn shithead Mark. I wonder what she has been up to. Obviously not looking for pity. That’s not Erin’s style… not one bit.

I text her, already having a good idea of where she is.

While I wait for her response I grab my sketchbook and look over what I’ve already done. Am I really going to do this? Well, why not kill two birds with one stone? I carry that and a pencil to my sofa, sit cross-legged and tap my pencil on the paper.

My cell buzzes with an incoming text.
Chatz, why don’t you come down and see your buddy? You’re not going to believe the hotness in this place tonight! Oh lordy!
Great, she’s already buzzed. Well I see she wasted no time rebounding. I guess I better go make sure she is OK… damn it.

The lot is full tonight at Chatz, which seems odd for midweek. As I am walking in the door I notice a chalkboard sign that reads
KARAOKE NITE
. Oh crap. As soon as I open the door I am hit in the face of drunken signing.

I skip the bar, but manage a polite wave to my familiar burly bartender in plaid, who nods and smiles while pouring a drink. I round the corner to the lounge and start my hide and seek game with Erin, then I look up at the stage and I see her… singing… badly. I can’t help but just stop and stare.

“Tess! Tess, come up and sing with me!” She stumbles over the microphone stand.

I put my hands up and shake my head. Everyone is looking at me. This is not happening; she needs to get her drunken butt off that stage before she falls off. I wave my hand for her to come to me, but she instead finishes the song she is singing and blurts out “Since you’ve been gone!” and throws the mic to the floor and stomps off stage acting like a pissed-off ranty girl.

Geez. She gets to me and hugs me tightly and I can smell the tequila on her breath. Damn, how many margaritas has she had tonight already? “I missed you, Tess, but I have been keeping busy.” She winks at me.

“That’s OK, Erin, but I think it’s time to get you home.” I try to pull her along with me, but a guy with longish brown hair grabs her other elbow.

“Oh, she’s not going anywhere,” he says.

I straighten my body, ready to verbally assault this asshat. “No, I think it’s time to take my friend home.”

“Sorry, hoodrat, but she promised to go home with me tonight. I have the message to prove that.”

I roll my eyes, “Seriously, you’re going to hold a drunken text as a standing argument to take advantage of a woman who is obviously not in the right mind to consent?” Ha! The look on his face!

“What?” he asks, obviously a little too tipsy himself.

Getting annoyed, seeing as Erin is starting to push up her cleavage, enticing the asshat even more, I push on. “Look, sorry, but she is coming home with me.”

Asshat has a giant smile on his face. “Home with you? Can I watch?” He loosens his tie.

Ew.

“No you cannot, but you may as well go home and dream about that, because you are obviously a sleaze and shouldn’t be with any decent woman, so go home and fuck yourself.”

I pull Erin even harder now and the asshat finally lets go. I assume he is too shocked that he just got told off by a girl.

I somehow manage to wrestle Erin into my Honda. “God, how much have you had to drink?”

She smacks her crimson lips. “Hmmm… five margaritas.” She attempts, badly, to say margaritas in a Spanish accent.

“And…?”

“And some drinks from a few guys…”

“Mhmmm. That’s what I thought. Let’s get you home.”

As I get her into her bed she starts to mumble. All I catch is, “I really like you, but…” And then she is out.

Huh, I wonder who she “really” likes? Hopefully not that asshat.

As I am walking out of her bedroom room she rambles off one more thing…

“No, no, Tess can’t find out I slept with Ben…”