Promise Me Light (21 page)

My eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room but the lack of
moonlight made it hard to see. I lit a small candle beside the bed,
flooding the room in soft yellow light. Crossing to Ryder’s closet, I
grabbed a new shirt, not wanting to smell like cattle ever again.

Unbuttoning my shirt, I tossed it to the floor. Wearing only my bra,
I stood with my back to the closed bedroom door. My fingers lingered on
my stomach, feeling the slight roundness beneath my hands. My stomach
was warm but my hands were cold, the chill seeping into my skin.
Cradling my abdomen with both hands, I stood alone in the bedroom, my
mind going back to the day I think our baby might have been conceived.
The night we broke into the house on our way home, seeking shelter.

I was still standing there reminiscing when the bedroom door opened.
Flipping around, I let out a small shriek. A man stood in the doorway,
someone I almost didn’t recognize.

He was tall, with a solid body. Gorgeous. The candle flickered over
him, making him look raw and dangerous. Gone was the thick beard. His
jaw and cheeks were now smooth, begging to be touched. Aching to have my
fingers glide across the clean-shaven skin. His hair was wet from a
recent bath, combed and looking perfect. His cheekbones were prominent
from his weight loss, making his eyes appear bluer, more striking. More
piercing.

Pure heat stared back at me, making my heart stop and my breath
catch.

Oh. My.

I couldn’t look away. Only one thought raced through my mind -
I need him.

His eyes moved over me slowly, inch by inch, taking his time. Nerve
endings flared to life as his gaze traveled down my chest, lingering on
my bra before traveling lower.

“What the hell?” He stared at my stomach with disbelief, glancing
up at me once before looking back down. I can’t say he looked too
happy with what he saw.

I whirled around, suddenly shaking.
Not like this! He
wasn’t supposed to find out like this!
Reaching for his flannel
shirt, I hurried to push my arms through the sleeves, frantic to cover
myself.

Looking over my shoulder, I rushed to button the shirt. Ryder limped
into the room quickly, holding his side and walking straight for me like
a man on a mission.

“Ryder, listen to me…” I began, buttoning the last button.

He grabbed my arm and spun me around. A frown crossed his perfectly
smooth face. His eyebrows drew together over his hard-edged gaze.
Letting go of my arm, his fingers started unbuttoning my shirt, his
hands working as fast as possible.

“What are you doing, Ryder?” I asked with a trembling voice,
taking a step back.

He didn’t answer but grasped my wrist, pulling me back to him. His
eyes stared into mine, sending me a silent message to stand still and be
quiet. I usually didn’t listen to him but this time I did.

He went back to working at the buttons, his large hands making short
work of the small, round pieces of plastic.

“Ryder, stop,” I pleaded, slapping his hands away.

“Maddie,” he warned, moving my hands out of the way. “Stand
still.”

His fingers returned to the last small buttons holding my shirt
together.

My heart beat so hard, I was afraid he might hear it. I took a step
back. My bottom hit the bed, trapping me between the mattress and
Ryder’s hard body. Spreading his legs on either side of me, he kept me
prisoner. His hands worked at the last buttons. With three more twist of
his fingers, my shirt was unbuttoned.

His eyes moved down to my waist as he pushed the edges of the shirt
back. I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut, afraid to see the look on
his face when he discovered I was pregnant.
He’s going
to be pissed. He’s going to be pissed.
The sentence wouldn’t
stop replaying in my mind, reminding me of the kind of man Ryder once
had been. Manwhore. Womanizer. But father?
Ryder Delaney
didn’t do family or babies. He only did…me.

Ryder sucked in a breath, his hands growing still as they held my
shirt. Opening my eyes, I watched, shocked as his hands started shaking.
He swallowed hard once. Then twice. I could almost feel the tension
rolling off of him.

Suddenly, he dropped to his knees in front of me.

Time stopped. My breath caught and my heart fluttered.

Candlelight flickered over his face as his eyes ran over my abdomen.
Slowly, as if he was afraid to touch me, he laid a hand against my
stomach. His fingers spanned me, covering my abdomen completely.

I melted. There was no other word for it. My best friend was on his
knees in front of me, his hand over his baby. Our baby.

“Maddie?” he said, his voice hoarse as he glanced up into my
eyes.

“I’m four months pregnant.”

He opened his mouth but no words came out. I saw him swallow again,
his strong throat working to get any sound out.

“A baby. We’re going to have a baby,” he said in awe, his gaze
dropping down to my abdomen.

“I was going to tell you when you returned home but then you
didn’t come back and when you did you were wounded. And then with the
news about your birth mom…”

“How do you feel?” Ryder asked, cutting off my rambling. His hand
moved lower, beneath my belly button. “If something happens to
you--”

“Stop,” I said, putting my hand over his. “I’m okay.”

“You’re too tiny. Hell, what if you can’t…” Ryder climbed
to his feet, his body brushing against mine. “Damn, I can’t think
about it. I don’t want to because it scares the shit out of me.”

“I’m scared too,” I admitted.

His eyes burned into mine, seeing everything, wanting everything.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Maddie,” he whispered.
“If I have to fight every damn person in this country to get you to a
hospital, I will. Nothing will take you away from me.” Without waiting
another second, he lowered his head.

I let out a moan when his mouth touched mine.
This is
what I needed.
Like a drink of cool water, he quenched me, giving
me what I wanted.

Stepping closer, his lips took control, his body holding mine against
the edge of the bed. I wrapped my hands around his neck, tangling my
fingers in his wet hair and pulling him to me. Tilting his head, he
deepened the kiss, becoming more urgent. His tongue lashed out, touching
my lower lip before plunging into my mouth.

I moaned, grabbing his shirt and holding on for dear life.

“You taste wonderful,” he said around my mouth. He captured my
bottom lip between his teeth then let it go, gliding his lips to my
jawline. Reaching beneath my shirt, his hands brushed across my
ribcage.

“Each inch of your skin is mine, Maddie. To taste. To lick.” The
tip of his tongue touched the soft, sensitive skin of my neck, sending a
shiver through me. “To have.”

“Then take me,” I said, threading my hands through his wet hair,
feeling the strands catch on my fingertips.

Tugging at my unbuttoned shirt, he pulled it off. His mouth went to
the exposed skin of my shoulder, touching the area with his lips.

“God, Maddie, I want you,” he said, his breath brushing across my
skin.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this. You’re hurt,” I said, forcing
the words out, wishing I didn’t have to say them.

“I’ll survive. Hell, I’ll pull these stitches out myself if it
means I can be deep inside you,” he said. His hand went to the top of
my jeans, unzipping them and pushing them out of the way in one
movement.

The tips of his fingers lingered on the top of my panties, leaving
heat behind. “This is sexy as hell,” he said in a deep voice. “You
wearing only my flannel shirt and this little bit of lace. So fucking
sexy.”

“Hmmm,” I mumbled, lost in the sensation of his fingers teasing
me.

His lips moved up to kiss the skin below my ear. “But they’re in
my way. That’s a problem,” he whispered, pushing my panties down my
legs achingly slow.

I gasped, grabbing his shoulders, when his hand went to my bottom.
His fingers squeezed, his invisible fingerprints forever burned into me.
Marking me as his.

Grabbing the back of his neck, I brought his mouth to mine. Parting
my lips, I slipped my tongue out to sweep across his lower lip.

“Do that again and I’ll explode,” he growled.

So I did it again.

With a groan, his mouth opened, taking my tongue inside. Threading
his fingers in my hair, he held me tight, doing what he wanted to
me.

“My turn to drive you insane,” he said. His fingers went between
my legs, searching for…
Oh yes!
I gasped. His
fingers were…
oh shit
, they were magical.

He plunged one finger into me, then two. His hand made a fist in my
hair, keeping me still when I started to wiggle and squirm. I needed…I
wanted…
ohmigod
.

I couldn’t think straight. When his fingers pulled out to stroke
me, I shattered. My world exploded. Bright lights appeared behind my
closed eyelids.

His lips covered my cries but his fingers didn’t stop. They slid
back into me, going deeper.

“Ryder,” I gasped, pulling my mouth away from his, needing him to
stop, hoping he didn’t.

Using the fist wrapped in my hair, he yanked my mouth back to
his.

“You’re so tight and wet,” he said, his mouth moving down along
my jawline.

I wanted to respond but I couldn’t. I was nothing but a tangled web
of nerve endings, pulsating everywhere. Desperate to be touched, aching
to be satisfied.

“Take off your bra,” he demanded, his teeth nipping at my
neck.

I did. Quickly.

His head lowered, his breath hot against my skin as he traveled down
my body. With the fingers of one hand inside me, his other hand clasped
my breast, squeezing as his mouth closed around my entire nipple.

Grasping his hair, I held on as his tongue flicked over my nipple,
sending electricity through me. I cried out when his teeth nipped at me;
gentle one moment, rough the next. He licked and sucked as his fingers
slid in and out of me. Only his hands and the bed behind me kept me
standing.

Just when I thought I would shatter, his mouth and fingers left my
body. Weaving his fingers through my hair, his mouth captured mine
again.

“I’m trying to control myself but I can’t. You drive me crazy,
Maddie. So damn crazy,” he said against my lips.

“Show me.”

He moaned at my words and took my mouth again. His lips became
demanding, frantic to possess me. His hand moved down to grab my bare
bottom, his fingers biting into my skin.

“Bed. Now,” he demanded.

I didn’t hesitate. In seconds, I was kneeling in the middle of the
bed, watching him crawl toward me. His eyes burned, running over my body
with raw hunger.

His hands went to my hair, gentle this time. No fists in my hair,
holding me tight. Instead, he touched the ends lying against my chest.
His palm brushed over my breast as he fingered the straight ends of my
hair. I shivered and reached out for the buttons on his shirt, needing
to feel him.

He continued to touch me everywhere, like he was trying to memorize
every inch of me. But when he touched my throat, a frown crossed his
face, turning his lips down as if he was trying to remember
something.

Afraid his memories would ruin the moment, I quickly worked at the
buttons of his shirt, frantic to get them undone. When the last one was
released, I pushed the material out of the way.

He removed his shirt as his eyes dropped to my breasts. Candlelight
cast a soft glow over his body, highlighting the muscles that were still
there. Yellowish bruises still marked his upper torso, ruining the
perfect tone of his skin.

With my hand, I followed the cut and curve of each muscle in his
chest. His skin felt smooth. Lickable. Leaning over, I touched my lips
to his pec. He moaned and grasped my hips, his fingers digging into
me.

My tongue touched his hot skin as I slipped my hand around to his
back. The tips of my fingers brushed across the whip marks and cuts.

When his hand snapped out, grabbing my wrist, I yelped. Not with pain
but with surprise. I had been so wrapped up in the feel of his skin that
I hadn’t been paying attention to the sudden tautness of his body.

His fingers wrapped around the thin bones of my wrists. His eyes were
clear, void of the raging fever that had haunted him for days or the
delusion that bothered him at night. Iciness stared back at me. Capable
of making most grown men cringe but not me.

“Ryder?” I whispered, needing him to come back to me. The man
that wasn’t cold and hard.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he ground his teeth together, struggling
with something that I couldn’t see. His fingers loosened on my wrist
but he didn’t let me go. His eyes opened, all the coldness gone. I
watched as his eyes dropped down to my naked breasts again, hunger in
his gaze.

“Ryder, I don’t think we should…”

Without warning, he yanked me toward him, cutting off my sentence.
The hard muscles of his chest pressed into my breasts, making my nipples
harder.

His mouth took mine again, making me forget everything. His tongue
slipped inside my mouth as he lowered the zipper of his jeans.

Breaking away from me, he pulled his jeans off and tossed them to the
floor. With impatience, he reached for me, drawing me into his lap.

Wrapping my legs around his waist, I straddled him. My arms went
around his neck as he readjusted himself under me, nudging me with his
length. I moaned, the friction sending shock waves through my body.

Cupping one breast, he leaned over to take it in his mouth. I gasped,
holding onto his neck tightly as he tugged at my nipple with his teeth.
Hardness pushed between my legs. Teasing me. Begging to be where I
wanted him to be.

I was panting by the time his mouth left my breast. I tried pulling
his lips back to my nipple but he resisted.