Promise Me Light (34 page)

“It’ll always be you and me,” he rasped against my mouth, his
hand dropping from my hair to start unbuttoning my shirt.
“Together.”

When he released the last button on my shirt, cold air ran over my
bare breasts. I shivered but his warm hands were there, heating my skin.
Protecting me.

One of his hands cupped my breast, filling his palm like I was made
especially for him. Like the very first time he touched me, I gasped and
blushed when his thumb ran across my nipple, making every nerve ending
jump and scream in need.

“Are they sensitive?” he asked, his thumb making another sweep
across my nipple.

“Yes,” I managed to say, my heart beating so fast I couldn’t
think clearly.

“Good,” he growled.

Without warning, his head lowered, taking my nipple into his
mouth.

Throwing my head back, I cried out. His tongue swirled around,
licking then flicking over me. His hand cupped my breast, squeezing it
gently as he drew my whole nipple inside his mouth. His other hand
unfastened my pants, pushing them and my underwear down my legs.

My hands went to his head, holding him close as I kicked my clothes
away. As he turned his attention to my other breast, I pulled him to me
with fistfuls of his hair. He moaned around my nipple, shooting
electricity through me.

I was on the verge of going insane with pleasure when his mouth
released my breast. His eyes met mine in the darkness. I saw the hunger
in him, the desperate need to sink deep inside of me. Knowing he was
barely holding it together, I tried yanking him closer.

He resisted, grabbing my hand instead. Bringing it to him, he placed
it on his crotch. My heart raced when I felt him beneath my fingers,
hard and ready.

“Feel how much I need you, Maddie,” he said, keeping his hand
over mine. “Every time I am around you. Every time I think about you,
this is what happens. It’s yours. Take it.”

My mouth started watering, knowing what he wanted. Feeling nervous, I
started to unbuckle his jeans. He stood silently, watching me as I
lowered his zipper. Biting my lip nervously, I reached inside, wrapping
my hand around him. Like a well-trained animal, my body jumped in
anticipation.

His hands went back to the wall, one on each side of me, pinning me
in. I moved my hand up and down his length, loving the feel of him. He
sucked in a breath and closed his eyes. Feeling in control, my other
hand moved to his chest, running along the hard muscles of his abdomen.
The heat of his skin scorched me, running up my fingers, down my arm,
and into parts unknown.

Breathing hard, he trembled as my hand continued to stroke him. His
body shuddered, threatening to lose all control. Abruptly, his mouth
seized mine roughly. His fingers reached down, plunging inside of me. I
cried out, moving my hand faster on him. His mouth became frantic on
mine, the wildness in him unleashed.

With a curse, he withdrew his fingers from me and grabbed my
hand.

“Stop, Maddie,” he rasped. His hand moved to my inner thigh. “I
want to be inside of you.”

I gasped as he hiked my leg up, holding my thigh in his hand and
leaving me vulnerable. Taking a step closer, his lips moved to my ear as
he trapped me against the wall. I let out a moan when I felt his
hardness push against me.

“I demand to be inside of you,” he said.

And with one push, he was completely inside me. Filling me.
Threatening to tear me in half. I let out a whimper at the invasion,
feeling my tightness surround him.

“I went through hell to get here,” he said hoarsely, rolling his
hips against mine, “but now I’m in heaven.”

I let out a squeal of alarm when his hand went around my waist,
lifting me up. My legs automatically wrapped around his hips, bringing
him deeper inside of me. He hissed, grinding his hips between my thighs.
Pushing my back up against the wall, he pulled out then buried himself
in me again.

I gasped and closed my eyes as he rocked into me.

“Hold on, baby,” he whispered, his lips going to my neck.

Obeying him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my bare
breasts against his chest.

Placing his hands on my hips, he started moving, slowly at first.
Using the wall as leverage, he held me up, sliding into me. Stroking me
from the inside out. Doing it again and again until I wanted to scream.
He was driving me crazy and making me forget everything but the
moment.

“You feel so good,” he said hoarsely, sliding his length in and
out of me, tortuously slow. “I think I was made for you.”

Keeping an arm around me, he watched as I bit my lip. I moaned as his
length moved in and out, picking up speed.

Taking my lips again, his tongue darted inside to sample my mouth.
His hips pumped in powerful thrusts, meeting my own and driving deep
into my tightness.

When his mouth left mine to go to my ear, the sensation of falling
started deep within me.

“Ryder, don’t stop,” I moaned, throwing my head back and
closing my eyes.

“Never, Maddie. I’ll never stop loving you,” he said, brushing
his lips against the curve of my ear as he slid harder and deeper inside
of me.

I couldn’t fight it anymore. The orgasm hit me, making me cry out
incoherently. Wave after wave of ecstasy washed over me, leaving me
seeing stars, lighting the darkness behind my eyelids. My fingers
grabbed his hair, needing to hold onto something solid and real as I
spiraled out of control.

“Please!” I called out, feeling like I was exploding into a
million pieces.

He growled, the stubble on his jaw rubbing against my neck as he
thrust into me over and over. His hand found my breasts, teasing my
sensitive skin. I squeezed my eyes closed as vibrations rocked my
body.

“No. Open your eyes,” Ryder ordered, his hips moving against
me.

I opened my eyes, willing to do anything he wanted. Watching me, he
started pumping into me faster. I sucked in a breath and started moving
up and down on his hard length, taking control.

But Ryder was having none of it. Grasping me around the waist, he
held me steady as he pulled halfway out before plunging back into me,
burying himself deep.

I gasped, the fullness of him too much. I couldn’t handle it.

“Again?” Ryder asked, hoarsely.

“Yes,” I moaned, closing my eyes and throwing my head back.
Unable to resist, I bit my lip, almost drawing blood.

“Damn, Maddie,” he groaned, leaning over to suck at my lower lip
where I had left teeth marks. Pulling out of me, he plunged back in,
making me grasp his shoulders tightly.

“Say my name,” he demanded, against my lips. “Then I’ll let
you come again.”

“Ryder,” I moaned, breathing hard.

“Again,” he said, holding me around the waist as he moved in and
out of me.

“Ryder!” I screamed, getting hit hard by another orgasm. My world
exploded, stars appearing behind my eyelids.

“That’s right, scream my name. It’s the only name I want on
your lips, Maddie. You’re mine,” he said, growling. “Never forget
that.”

His lips turned gentle, his hands caressing. I melted, feeling
weightless in his arms. Too soon, he pulled out of me, easing me to my
feet. His hands lingered on my body for a moment, making sure I could
stand on my own before letting me go.

“You okay?” he asked, concerned.

“Yes,” I said with a breathless voice.

He ran a hand over the back of his neck, looking ashamed.

“I got carried away. I was just so damn scared of you
leaving.”

“Like you left me?” I asked, unable to stop the words.

Taking a step back, he zipped up his jeans, not looking at me. I knew
the moment he pulled a curtain over his emotions, protecting himself
from something I couldn’t begin to understand. Leaning down, he picked
up my jeans and underwear, handing them to me with an outstretched
hand.

“Here. Get dressed. I need to take you back.”

His words were like a slap in the face, so withdrawn and cold. A
chill washed over me, reminding me that a second ago, he was the one
heating me up.

“Kicking me out of my own house, Ryder? That’s a new low even for
you,” I said, hurrying to pull on my jeans. “I thought there was no
more running from each other?”

Ryder stood still, not answering me and not moving a muscle. He
watched as I buttoned my shirt with shaking fingers, his eyes lingering
on my protruding stomach longer than was necessary.

At his silence, tears clogged my throat but I refused to let him see
me cry.
Pregnancy hormones are always wreaking havoc
with my feelings.
One moment I wanted to smile, the next I wanted
to cry.

I stuck up my chin and glared at him obstinately.

Letting out a sigh, he walked a few feet away. Leaning over, he
picked up my jacket and scarf from the carpeted floor and tossed the
bundle to me. I caught them in one hand, staring at him.

“Don’t look at me like that, Maddie. I’m not pushing you away.
I want you safe at home,” he said, resigned.

“Whatever,” I said, stuffing my arms through the holes of my
jacket. Staring at him, I wrapped the scarf around my neck, pulling it
tight as I became angrier. Why I was angry, I have no idea. My emotions
were all over the place.

Without waiting, I spun on my heel and walked down the hallway, not
caring if he followed me or not.

“Wait!” Ryder snapped, his voice like a shotgun going off in the
house.

I stopped and turned around. With two strides he was in front of me,
looking forbidden and dangerous as he towered over me. His body blocked
me from going anywhere.

I looked up at him, meeting his eyes in the darkness. When he
didn’t say anything, I decided I was tired of the silence.

“Just take me home, Ryder,” I said.

Grabbing the back of my head, he jerked me to him. His hand reached
down to my stomach, his fingers spreading over my belly as his other
hand tangled in my hair.

“Let’s get a few things straight before we go, Maddie. This baby
is mine,” he growled, his deep voice rumbling through the darkness.
“Your body is mine and your heart is mine. I’ll fight for it and
I’ll die for it. Never forget that.”

I parted my lips to tell him where to stuff his ‘mine’ crap but
his mouth descended quickly, cutting off any words I was going to say.
His hand tightened in my hair as his mouth claimed mine. Despite the
coldness in the house, my body warmed again.

Ending the kiss, he pulled back to stare at me. Without another word,
he let me go, leaving me standing in the dark hallway. I stood
shock-still, feeling like I was falling and couldn’t catch myself.

Being with Ryder was like a roller coaster ride that never ended.
There were sharp turns and up and downs. You never knew what was waiting
for you around the corner. The ride was bumpy and sometimes rough. One
moment you wanted to laugh, the next moment you wanted to scream. But
through it all, it was exhilarating and fast-paced. The ride of your
life.

And I never wanted to get off.

I ran a tongue over my bottom lip, tasting him on me. For a second I
allowed myself to disappear into the happiness of minutes ago - when he
held me and said words I would never forget.

A thud came from further in the house. I jerked my head around. I
stood alone in the hallway, the darkness of the night wrapping around
me. The noise reminded me that months ago evil that had set foot in
here. Ryder’s body might have made me forget about the nightmare but
it suddenly rushed back, slapping me across the face and leaving me
stunned.

I hurried after him, leaving the darkness behind. I found Ryder in
the kitchen, lighting a match. I watched as the little stick flared to
life, highlighting his face. Beckoning me to him.

Wrapping my arms around my middle, I tried to control my pounding
heart, watching as Ryder lit a small candle. A chill ran through me but
I don’t know if it was from the dropping temperatures or the terrible
memories. There was only one man that could chase both away and he stood
feet from me, leaving me hot one moment and cold the next.

Ryder threw the extinguished match on the table, right next to the
bottle of vodka. My eyes landed on the photo of us. When we were happy.
Together. Kids that didn’t have a care in the world.

He saw it too. My heart thumped as he picked it up. I was afraid he
would crumble it in his fist. Rip it to shreds with his strong fingers.
Tear it apart with his bare hands. Instead, he looked at me. The
candlelight reflected off of his eyes, bouncing off of the blue irises
and filling me with longing.

Without taking his eyes off of me, he stuck the picture in the pocket
of his jacket, right over his heart. The symbolism wasn’t lost on me
but I doubted he knew what he just did.

“You want anything before we leave?” he asked.

My eyes ran over the kitchen, seeing my dad’s things and
reminiscing about the past. There was so much I wanted, things I could
never have again. My dad. My old life. The death and despair to
disappear.

Tears filled my eyes, making everything blurry. Eva was right.
Pregnancy was making me very emotional.
I’m a
blubbering mess!
I glanced away from Ryder, not wanting him to
see my tears.

“Maddie?” he asked again.

I took a deep breath.

“I want my life back to the way it was,” I mumbled. “When
things were simpler. I miss my dad and my friends. I
miss
college. But more than anything, I miss us, Ryder.
I wish we could be just two normal kids again.”

“Two normal kids that aren’t in love?” Ryder asked, flatly.
“Is that what you are trying to tell me?”

Oh, damn!

“Ryder, that’s not what I meant.”

“I think it is, Maddie,” he said, walking past me and picking up
his duffle bag from the floor. Throwing it on the table, he started
packing things into it; extra candles, a few cans of food he had found
somewhere, and a small box that I recognized from my mother’s box of
keepsakes.