Promise to Cherish (31 page)

Eli stood and walked a few paces over to her. He saw her younger siblings looking through the window and for a moment thought he saw her mother slipping casually out of view when he caught sight of her. He looked back at Matilda who hadn’t raised her lowered chin yet.

“Eli, I just know that we’re right for each other,” she squeaked.

“You need to stop spreading stories. We never dated and we aren’t going to date.”

Her glow diminished to a dull reflection from a tin plate. Was she going to cry now or just stomp off? Would she slap him across the face? All of those things had happened to him with other single girls and he had no idea how Matilda would ultimately react.

“It’s that Christine girl, isn’t it? I don’t believe the rumors that you’re the father of her baby.”

Was she serious? He shook his head, disturbed at the way this conversation was going. “This isn’t about Christine, Matilda, it’s—”

Eli was caught off guard. She lunged at him, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down. Next thing he knew her lips were atop his. She made
mmmm
sounds as she kissed him. Her eyes were shut. His were open. He pulled her away and set her firmly down on the ground. Enough. This needed to end now.

“Now, please stop all of this,” he spoke clearly and directly, looking right into her eyes. “We were never a couple. We will never get married. It is time to stop this nonsense and move on with your life.”

In slow motion her face sagged and a loud wail escaped her mouth. Her sister came out and wrapped an arm around her and led her inside.

Eli let out a sigh as he returned to his buggy. He hoped he had not been too harsh with her, but at least this madness was finally over. What would the reaction be among the youth? He knew they would believe Matilda’s story and he would once again appear to be the wild, noncommittal, single man. It was too late to stop by Christine’s place as he drove home. It infuriated him. He needed, more than anything, to talk with her.

As he drove home that night all he could think about was how it would be so much easier if he just left.

CHAPTER 24

A
week after her argument with Eli, Christine saw Dr. Sherman’s car pull into the farm drive. He hadn’t contacted her about the job opportunity she had inquired about yet, but perhaps talking in person might urge him to make a decision.

“Annie,” she called out, “I’ll be right back.”

Christine didn’t wait for a response from Annie but walked briskly over to the Brennemans’ house. Dr. Sherman was with Mark for about ten minutes. The rocker on the porch was a pleasant place to wait, and she stood as soon as she heard the doctor step through the hardwood-floor living room.

“It’s looking just fine, Sylvia,” Dr. Sherman said. “I’ll come back again next week.”

The door opened and the doctor replaced his hat on his head when Christine stepped toward him.

“Dr. Sherman.” Her voice sounded eager and her hands were wringing.

“Nurse Freeman, right?” he said, smiling.

“Yes, that’s right. A few weeks ago I wrote you about a job.”

“Yes, I remember.” The doctor gestured for her to follow
him down to his car. “I was ready to give you the opportunity, but was advised otherwise.”

The doctor inhaled and pursed his lips. He opened his car door and placed his black bag inside.

“May I ask why?”

“Nurse Freeman,” he began, “the truth of the matter is that I really could use a nurse with your skills in my practice, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that—”

“Because of the baby,” Christine whispered. He was only doing what any other employer would do in his shoes. No one wanted their business to become a place of scandal.

“I am sorry, young lady, I wish things were different.” He lifted his hat as he nodded at her and then climbed into his car and drove away, leaving Christine to stand in the drive alone.

Over the next few weeks Christine sequestered herself from the Brenneman family. Her life was a glasshouse. The knowledge of her condition had reached the good Dr. Sherman so quickly. The disappointment with Dr. Sherman brought the burden over her argument with Eli to the forefront of her mind. She had hurt him by not listening to his side of the story. The shock in his eyes and the way his shoulders slumped as he walked off bound her heart in guilt. Her talk with Annie had made her realize that her baby wasn’t to blame, whether she kept the child or not.

Finally, after a week of staying away, her guilt could stand it no more. Christine would have to find Eli first thing in the morning. She had already lost too much time with her friend. Was he just a friend? She’d missed Eli far more than she cared to admit to until now.

Before the sun was up she was dressed and walking down the well-worn path to Eli’s barn. The morning mist hung around her and she could feel the dampness on her skin. He would be waking soon or already up, and she would be waiting. She opened the barn door carefully, not wanting to wake him
herself. The squeal of the door, however, made her wince. If he wasn’t already awake, he would be now.

A rustling from the loft sounded.

“Eli?” She spoke softly. “It’s Christine.”

There was more rustling but he didn’t answer. After another minute he climbed over the side of the loft and down the ladder. His suspenders hung down from his homemade pants and he wore an undershirt that seemed a bit small over his chest and arms. She cleared her throat and pushed up her glasses.

“My clean shirts are in the house,” he said quietly and rubbed his face.

Eli was more handsome than she was prepared for. His long mussed hair hung over his forehead.

“I’m sorry for waking you, Eli,” she said. Christine had the sudden urge to push his hair away from his eyes and touch his face. How dear he really was to her. “I needed to see you.”

Eli sat on a rough-hewn bench against an age-beaten stall and gestured for her to sit next to him. She did and tried not to wring her hands. His closeness made her nervous. It would be too easy to let her feelings get the best of her. Despite what they both said, they were more than just friends.

“I really am sorry the way it all came out. Not long after you got here I knew my parents needed to know—it would help them understand why you were here,” he said, placing his elbows on his knees and looking over his shoulder at her. “I really didn’t tell Moses. He admitted to me that he overheard my conversation.”

He shrugged.

“You know the rest. Moses should’ve come to me first but he’s headstrong and stubborn.”

“Sounds like it runs in the family.” A smile crept on her lips before she could stop it.

Eli smiled back but it didn’t linger.

“You can imagine how the news spread after that.”

He took her hand and Christine let him. His touch was honest and natural. They weren’t dating and for several weeks they seemed barely friends. When their hands joined, however, it boasted of safety and value—she was cherished. The opposite of how Jack had left her. Eli was like the dawn’s green grass and prism raindrops after a thunderstorm. But even with her hand in his, she was still stuck in the blackness of the night, and the glimpse of the morning was a fleeting sight.

“I hate this for you because I know what the Amish telephone is like. I’ve been the brunt of it many times.”

“The Amish telephone?”

“That’s what we call all the gossips. We don’t need your kind of telephones, believe me.”

Their smiles were mirror images. She pulled her hand back to her lap but regretted it as soon as she did.

“It was my fault. That’s why I’m here.” She turned toward him and touched his arm hesitantly. When the warmth of his arm was beneath her fingertips her blood rushed hot through her body. She kept it there. “I never should’ve made you keep my secret. It’s made things way too difficult for you. I don’t want to make things more complicated for you.”

“Are you coming to tell me that you’re leaving?” He looked over his shoulder at her. Christine could see fear in his eyes.

“Not yet. Annie convinced me to stay.”

Eli sighed heavily, then leaned back against the stall wall. His movement forced Christine to release his arm. She put her hand in her lap. How had she come to care so deeply for him without realizing it? This was a dangerous place to be. His family was so important to him; she couldn’t ask him to give up his future for someone like her.

“I’m glad.” He inhaled and stood.

Eli put out a hand for hers. She took it. He pulled her closer
to him. Their bodies were nearly touching. Christine knew he wanted to kiss her, but she also knew it couldn’t happen—or shouldn’t anyway. They were from two different worlds—not to mention she was expecting a baby.

“Eli, I can’t,” she whispered.

He traced his finger down her jawline with a resigned smile.

Christine released a small gasp. She took a step back and brought her hands to her stomach.

“What is it?”

She giggled and smiled. “It’s the baby.” She looked up at him. “Kicking.”

“Really?” His eyes beamed as if he were suddenly wide-awake.

“Here,” she said, holding her hand out for his. She took his hesitant palm and put it on her abdomen. His eyes went from her stomach to her face, locking eyes for several long moments, then back to her stomach.

“Oh, I felt it.” He chuckled as he spoke.

“Him,” she said. “You felt him.”

“Him?”

“Annie said I’m having a boy.”

A son
, he thought, then reminded himself that this child was not
his
son. But how he loved her. How he wanted to tell her. How he wanted to kiss her. He didn’t just want to hold her to console her through disappointments and fears, but to hold her in that way that makes the rest of the world fall away. He wanted her to see that no one ever meant to him what she meant to him. Eli wanted to make Christine happy and to take care of her for the rest of their lives. He wanted to be a father to the baby.

This could never be.

He removed his hand from her abdomen and put his hands gently around her forearms—keeping her close.

“Let’s just leave and make a life somewhere else,” he blurted out, shuffling away his former thoughts on how this could never be.

“What? Eli?”

“Why not? No one wants me around here. Mark is making my life miserable. We could be happy. Let’s just run away from all of this. I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of you both.”

Christine’s mouth was open but she didn’t speak any words. Eli bent down and she tilted her head toward him. His heart raced.

“Just like I told Dad.” Mark pushed through the barn door. “I knew you couldn’t be trusted. You haven’t changed a bit, Eli. Just leave before you hurt Mom and Dad even more.”

Mark walked away before either of them could respond.

They hadn’t even heard him approach.

CHAPTER 25

F
or the next several mornings Eli made sure he was out in the field ahead of everyone else—hoping to avoid Mark as much as possible. Mist hung around him as he made tracks against the long, dewy grass, steering the cows toward the barn for their milking. The chill of the morning woke him and it was the only time of the day where he could sense God speaking to him and where he could speak back. The cows didn’t mind his easy, whispered prayers.

Most of the time he didn’t even know what to pray for. He and Christine continued their easy conversations at the end of the day. Neither of them had brought up their discussion about taking off together. What would’ve happened if Mark hadn’t interrupted them? Would they have kissed? Would she have answered him, and would they have made a poor decision or the right one? Which was the right one?

One morning a man with two children trailed into the farm and leaned against the milk house. Eli could see the man was neatly dressed, but his pants were too short and his children weren’t wearing shoes. His brothers were ahead of him and he watched as Moses and David walked into the barn and Mark
walked toward the man and his children. The limp from his leg injury was still distinct but improving.

He couldn’t hear them talking so he jogged up next to Mark.

“Good morning, I’m Eli, can we help you?”

“I’m handling this,” Mark looked over at him, his arms already crossed over his chest.

“A neighbor down the road said you used to give out some free milk—you know, to needy families? My name is Lawrence and this is Mae and Larry Junior.” The man wrung the hat in his hands as he introduced his family. “I’m a war vet, and when I came back my wife passed away and we’re just struggling to make ends meet.”

“We sure—” Eli started.

“No, we haven’t done that for a while. I’m sorry,” Mark said, eyeing Eli.

Eli grabbed Mark’s arm and pulled him aside.

“We are going to give them as much milk as they need,” Eli whispered loudly.

“We stopped doing this just after you left. We had families come by who weren’t even needy. They just wanted a handout.
Dat
put me in charge, Eli, not you.”

“Then you can blame me. I’m giving them some milk.”

“
Dat
’s used to you not listening to him anyway.” He shrugged. “Why do you think he gave me the best property and didn’t make you manager again?”