Promise to Cherish (36 page)

He picked up his tool belt and filled the pouches with nails when he heard the voice he heard every night in his dreams.

“Eli.”

He turned to find Christine, beautiful and glowing, standing behind him.

“Christine.” His voice barely left his mouth. “I’ve missed you.”

She looked down at her belly. Eli’s eyes traced down her body. He smiled at the great roundness of her midsection. A small chuckle released.

“What? I know, I’m as big as a house.”

“You’re beautiful.”

He unbuckled his tool belt and set it on the ground. He took her hand.

“Come, let’s sit.” He led her carefully through the construction site and they sat on what would be the first floor of the house.

“What’s over there?” She pointed.

“It’s the front door.” He smiled at her.

She nodded but didn’t say anything. The nature around them was like music. His body was on fire with having her near him. It took all of his strength not to pull her into his arms. All
those prayers asking God to provide wisdom when it came to Christine and here he was with no more answers than ever.

“I need to tell you something.”

“What’s that?”

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“I’m leaving, Eli. I’m going to the Stony Creek Ladies Home. I’ll be there this time next week.”

His lungs deflated. He knew this was a possibility but still it came as a shock.

Lord, what do I do?

“I need to call them tomorrow and let them know my travel plans. Will you take me to the neighbor’s phone?”

Eli inhaled deeply then nodded his head. He couldn’t speak. He stood and put his tool belt back on. It was too painful to sit there with her.

The next day he pulled his buggy up to Annie’s house. He couldn’t believe that he was actually helping her leave Sunrise. She stepped out of the cottage wearing a pretty yellow dress. Her hair was up on top in the rolls he loved seeing on her. He noticed, however, that she only wore lipstick and he’d never seen her look more beautiful. Her simple beauty was breathtaking.

“Here, let me help you.”

“You might need some type of catapult,” she said, laughing.

He helped her up on his seat and turned the buggy around in the drive and headed out on the road.

It took fifteen minutes on the bumpy dirt roads to get Christine to the neighbors. He helped her out again and walked up to the house with her.

“Hi, my friend Christine needs to use the phone. I’ll make sure to pay for it,” he said to the farmer’s wife.

“Over there,” she said, and pointed to the phone on the stand near the kitchen table.

He noticed that when Christine walked her hand cupped
her stomach in a different way from before. She breathed more when she pulled out the chair and sat down. Her hands dialed the operator and she was connected quickly.

“Hello, this is
Edna
. I just wanted to confirm that I will be there by Wednesday. My bus arrives at five-thirty in the evening.”

She was listening to the other end.

“I am due next month.”

She stuttered trying to talk.

“I know, I should’ve come sooner.” Christine turned away from Eli.

The farmer’s wife listened in and watched the clock the whole time.

“Yes, thank you. I will see you on Wednesday.”

She put the phone down carefully and her face was stricken when she walked past Eli as if he weren’t even there. He thanked the farmer’s wife and followed after Christine.

In a few minutes they were on their way back to the cottage with a wave of discomfort moving between them. Neither of them spoke.

Several nights later Christine dreamed she delivered her baby. She yelled and yelled to see him, but the doctors, with pale masks covering their noses and mouths, didn’t seem to hear her. She could hear her baby cry but couldn’t see it. She awoke in tears.

Christine wrapped a bathrobe around herself and walked out of the cottage. Tomorrow she would go. She would get on a bus and never return to Sunrise. Once she got to the home she would be called
Edna
, and when her baby was born a doctor or midwife would deliver her baby and give it to another woman.

The morning air filled her lungs and she resisted yelling
when she exhaled. This wasn’t supposed to be her life. She had walked farther than she realized when a pain radiated through her stomach. It stopped her where she stood. She squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath until it was over. This couldn’t happen now. The pain was gone as suddenly as it came and she started walking again.

The next one was harder and longer, about a minute later. She walked over to the side of the grassy trail and leaned on a tree stump. Between each contraction she took small, quick steps back toward the cottage.

As she began walking the pain was so severe she fell to all fours. Christine rested her head against the tops of her hands when the pain diminished. She tried to get her breath back and stood. She’d stood too quickly and the green world around her spun. She squeezed her eyes shut until her head stopped swimming in the morning air.

Christine had to get home, that’s all. Annie would have it under control then. But this was not the way it was supposed to happen. Maybe Sylvia and Mark would still be able to take her child or maybe Stony Creek would still be able to take the baby even though she didn’t deliver it there. She leaned against a tree and panted through another pain. Eli’s house was nearby now. The cottage wasn’t far off. The contraction faded and she walked on. She heard someone whistling, the sound getting closer.

“Eli,” she shouted.

“What are you doing out here?” He came running to her.

“It’s time. The baby is coming.” She started crying. “Please take me to Annie.”

As soon as he lifted her, she went limp. She couldn’t respond and all that mattered was that he was there. That was all that mattered in the moment. Her head fell onto his chest and she could feel his heart beat against her ear. He was warm and
strong and she loved him. In her mind she told him so but she didn’t have the energy to speak it.

His voice was labored as he jogged, holding her. What was he saying? It wasn’t in English, but the words made sense in her ears.

At first she recognized words from the Lord’s Prayer.

Unsah Faddah im himmel.
Our Father, which art in heaven.

Dei villa loss dedu sei.
Your will be done. He repeated this phrase four times. Didn’t he remember the rest of the prayer?

Then he stopped moving. His breathing anguished and labored.

O, Gott, gep auf juh sie.
Oh, God, take care of her.

Macht des babeh tsunt.
Make the baby healthy.

Ich liebe sie.
I love her.
Ich liebe des babeh vie sis meine.
I love this baby like it was my own.

He loved her. He loved her baby. Then she didn’t remember anything but him laying her down in her bed. Oh, she didn’t want him to let go. Why did he have to let go?

“Christine,” Annie said, smiling as she spoke. “Don’t you worry. I’ll take care of you.”

Her words were in Pennsylvania Dutch. Christine’s eyes opened to see her speak them. Her ears heard them and she was able to pick up enough words to understand.

Sis nah zeit.
It’s time.

“I’m not ready,” she said. Her dizziness was subsiding now that she was still. Being with Annie comforted her. “It’s not time. I’m supposed to leave tomorrow for the home.”

“
Aesh bisleh frie
,
mei maedle
.” Just a bit early, my girl.

Christine nodded to the old woman.

She looked up at Eli, whose face was ghostly pale.

“Eli,
nah geh
.” Annie pushed against his chest toward the door. When he still resisted, her voice became firmer. “
Grick deh
Sylvia.” Aunt Annie told him to go get Sylvia.

“
Les meh mit sie sah
.”

Hot tears streamed down her face as she understood his words, telling Annie that he wanted to stay with her. A contraction surfaced and she bit her lip. When it wasn’t enough she yelled.

Annie soothed him with comforting words, reminding him that it had been like this since the dawn of time. Had it comforted Eli? Somehow in the moment, it wasn’t comforting to her.

“Please, go get Sylvia. This is her baby. I know she and Mark will agree once he sees the baby,” Christine said as a contraction left her body.

“
Vas
?”

“
Geh
.” Annie pushed him out farther and closed the door in front of his face.

Christine found her strength returning. Annie helped her peel off her dress and put on a light nightgown. Her calmness was returning. When a contraction came she leaned over her bed, making the pain bearable, and she wondered how her body knew how to react. She had never seen anyone in labor.

Annie left for several minutes and returned with wet cloths, towels, and a small black bag that reminded her of a doctor’s.

“What’s in there?”

“Just things we will need once the baby’s here. You don’t need to worry. Right now your body will do what it’s supposed to do. I’m just here for comfort. You can do this.”

“It hurts.”

“And it will get worse before it’s over, but I can see it in your eyes, Christine, you’re strong and ready. You can get up, walk around, or get in just about any position that helps. Your body will know what to do. The Lord will bring you and your baby through.” Annie brushed away the sweaty hair from her face and Christine believed her.

Sylvia arrived soon after that, out of breath with her own belly leading the way. She embraced Christine. They both had tears in their eyes that ran down their cheeks.

“What can I do?” Eli asked, standing in the kitchen where Christine had been pacing, also breathing heavily.

“You need to go,” Annie said, pointing toward the farm.

“Can I stay outside at least?”

Annie looked at Christine. Christine looked at Eli and hesitantly nodded yes. Eli let out a breath he’d been holding. Before walking out he went to her and took her shoulders and looked into her eyes.

“Please, don’t give this baby away.”

A contraction came over her and she pushed him away. All she needed to do now was focus on making it through the delivery. She heard Sylvia walk him to the door and tell him everything would be fine.

Annie was right. Christine’s labor did move quickly. In just over five more hours it was nearly time. She closed her eyes as she hunched over the bed. She could hear Annie and Sylvia whisper to each other. Words all in their language, but still she understood.

Macht the kessleh vassa heis.
Heat up the water in the pot.

Deh schah ist gabuztd.
The scissors are clean.

Doh kompts babeh.
Here comes the baby.

The elation of delivery overwhelmed Christine. The weight of her body changing, her organs shifting, and the courage it had taken overtook her. Like a glass that even when full was continually filled again and again, there was so much to take in all at once. The baby’s cry filled the room—filled the world, even. He was strong and loud. Sylvia helped her clean and get comfortable in the bed. Annie was next to her, cleaning her very chubby baby boy. It was no surprise that Annie was right about the baby being a boy.

“Look at him,” Sylvia said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Christine looked away from the baby and instead through the small slit in the window the other way. The curtains were drawn but through the two she could see Eli pacing. Had he been there the entire labor? Her hands went to her abdomen and even with the sheet and thin coverlet over her, it was empty in the space where the baby had been. The feeling of loneliness panicked her and for a moment her vision was clouded in gray with only a tunnel of light. She begged God for numbness, blindness—anything to keep her from experiencing the moments.

The baby grunted and cried, bringing her back though she couldn’t force herself to look at him.

“Christine,” Annie’s voice was more serious this time. “Look at your baby boy.”

“I can’t.” Her face fell into her hands and she wept.

“You must. He needs you. You’re his mother.”

“I can’t give him what he needs. Sylvia, please take him. You need to be his mother. I know you said you can’t but you have to.” She looked up at her friend, their eyes connecting. “Take him,” she whispered.

“I can’t, Christine.” Sylvia shook her head, her eyes filling. “He’s yours.”

Sylvia regained her composure and diverted her eyes from Christine. She sniffed a few times then she looked down. From the corner of Christine’s eye she could see the squirming pink-skinned baby Annie had wrapped in a sky-blue blanket. Sylvia reached for the babe and lifted him and held him close. She laughed through a few tears. Christine continued to look the other way but was relieved and burdened to see that Sylvia had finally listened.

“
Doh ist dah glennah booh
.” Here is the little boy.

Her voice was almost like a song when she spoke, lilting in
the air around the baby, instantly filling the room with love. Her friend would love her son. She couldn’t fight her instincts any longer and looked at Sylvia and the babe just as he was lowered into her empty arms.