Promise to Obey (20 page)

‘I don’t know what I could get that young man, the beach attendant,’ she said, as they were on the drive home in the
gathering
dusk. Daniel had collected seaweed this time, and the inside of the car smelt of the stuff. For once Lady Grace did not complain.

‘You could get him a bicycle,’ said Lily. ‘I saw him walking miles along the beach. And he was limping a bit. I expect his feet hurt with all that walking.’

Lady Grace was about to say that a bicycle would be a ridiculous idea, but stopped herself. It would be a start and she had to start somewhere.

‘You might have something there,’ she said quietly.

Lady Grace retired to her bed earlier than usual. The afternoon had been mentally tiring and the surfeit of fresh sea air had made her sleepy. She did not want any supper but required her usual milk and biscuits later on.

Daniel came into the kitchen and started wandering around, poking into things and opening drawers and cupboards, getting in Jessica’s way. Mrs Harris had gone to her Bingo. He was carrying his plastic bag of seaweed.

‘Do want somewhere to keep your seaweed?’ Jessica asked.

‘Weed,’ he said.

‘How about a plate or a jug or an old plastic container?’

He shook his head and went to the sink, turning on a tap. He let the water run, tipping his bag of seaweed into the running water, watching the strands curl and swirl into a dark mass. He had collected rather a lot.

Jessica went into the walk-in pantry, to the back where Mrs Harris kept her spare jam jars. She came out with several jam jars perched on her fingers. ‘Would these be any good?’

He nodded enthusiastically, arranged the jam jars in rows on the draining board and began to fill each one with water and a few strands of seaweed. Jessica watched him from afar. He didn’t like anyone close, leaning over him.

‘You’ve got several different kinds there. Tomorrow we could look them up on the Internet so that we can give them names.’

‘Names,’ he said, without looking up.

Jessica left him absorbed in his task of tanking up the seaweed. She had Lily to put to bed, read a story, and then hope that Lucas would come home and they could talk at last. Surely that stubborn Coleman pride would have come to its senses by now. She couldn’t endure this not-knowing for much longer. She wanted to be with him, to feel his arms around her again.

Lily had worn herself out on the beach so it was a quick bath and an even quicker story. Now that he was eight years old, Daniel stayed up a little later, needed little supervision going to bed. He preferred to wash alone.

Jessica made herself a cup of black coffee and took it into the library, turned on the television and flopped down in front of it. She did not want to watch any mindless programme, but hoped there might be a good drama or documentary. She needed something to take her mind off Lucas and the current predicament.

Perhaps she had made a mistake, searching for the truth. Perhaps he would have preferred to forgive her in a lordly way and make her pay for it in a marriage of misery. But that was surely not his way, not his nature and certainly not hers. His love had seemed so strong and so true. He had meant every word he said and his warm and passionate kisses had come straight from the heart. He had wanted her and the strength of his body close to hers told her how much.

Fire and ice, Lucas had once said to her. Had they had the fire and this was now the ice? Maybe the fire had consumed them for a while and now the ice froze over their love.

Jessica fell asleep in front of the television, her coffee untouched. The sea air had obviously brushed away the cobwebs that had prevented her from sleeping the last few nights. She dreamed she was in a boat, a small boat, but she could not see who was rowing. He had his back to her.

A shrill, strident bell projected itself through the dream. At first she thought it was a bell from a nearby lighthouse in her dream, then she roused herself and realized that it was Lady Grace’s bell.

Even the bell sounded annoyed.

She shook herself awake and tried to stop herself from racing up the stairs. This was not the time for a careless accident. She’d seen enough falls downstairs at A & E.

‘I’m sorry,’ Jessica said. ‘Your milk is late, I know. I dozed off.’

‘It’s very late,’ said Lady Grace, who did not admit that she had also dozed off. She looked accusingly at her bedside clock. ‘I’m not used to having it so late.’

‘I’ll fetch it straight away,’ said Jessica, turning away before she got the nightly instructions about two biscuits - as if she had the brain of a peanut.

In the kitchen she noticed that Daniel’s jars of seaweed were still on the draining board, but he had emptied the sink of water. She must remember to put them in a safe place before Mrs Harris came in. That good lady might empty them down the drain.

Jessica made the drink and carried the tray upstairs to Lady Grace. She put it on the bedside table.

‘Thank you, Jess,’ said Lady Grace. ‘You know how to do this Internet ordering thing, don’t you?’

‘I can find my way around a bit.’

‘Can you find your way around this Argos firm that sells things and order a bicycle, a good one mind you, to be sent to Mark Adams. No mention of my name. I want him to receive it anonymously. Don’t you think that’s a good idea? To send him an anonymous gift? After all, a bicycle hardly equates to saving a life, does it?’

Lady Grace seemed pleased with the idea and for remembering Argos, the mail order firm. She might get their catalogue and have a look through it.

‘I think he’d like that. Surprise presents are always fun. I’ll look Argos up on the Internet and see how you order online,’ said Jessica.

‘It could be addressed to him care of The Pier. I saw some of his deckchairs on the pier. They’d make sure he got it, wouldn’t they?’

‘I’m sure they know him. Goodnight, Lady Grace.’

‘Goodnight, Jess.’

Jessica crossed over the landing and peeped into Lily’s room. She was fast asleep, Floppy Ears on the pillow beside her. They both looked as if they had had a good day.

Daniel’s bedroom was in the dark which was unusual. He had not switched on his glow lamps or put on a tape of soft sounds. Jessica hesitated in the doorway. She did not want to wake him by putting on the main light. The landing light shone weakly into the room. His shells were rigidly in rows. His drawing books, his shoes, his school uniform folded, everything in its allotted place.

She looked at his bed. The duvet was flat and untouched. There was no dark head on the pillow. The room was empty.

He must be somewhere in the house, curled up on a chair, or drawing on the floor, little monkey. He’d taken advantage of her falling asleep.

Jessica made a quick detour of the house, expecting to find Daniel at every turn. But he was nowhere. She could not find him anywhere. It was getting dark outside. Perhaps he was doing some mysterious errand out in the garden, drawing the moon?

His anorak had gone from the clothes cupboard by the back door. Jessica began to feel worried. Where on earth had the little boy gone? He was tall for his age but he was still only eight years old.

She heard the Porsche coming up the drive and ran outside. Daniel had probably gone to meet his father. That was it. What could be more natural than going down the drive to meet his father?

Jessica went onto the drive and waved at the Porsche. It slowed down. ‘Have you got Daniel?’ she asked, keeping any worry out of her voice.

‘Daniel? No, why should I?’

‘I thought perhaps he’d come out to meet you. I thought …’ she faltered.

‘Don’t you know where he is?’ Lucas said forcefully.

‘No, I don’t know where he is. I’ve lost him. I can’t find him.’

‘Have you made a thorough search of the house and the stables?’

‘I didn’t go into the stables,’ said Jessica.

‘Why not?’

Because she did not want to meet Lucas. He lived in the stables. She could not go in there, in case there were secrets.

Lucas swung the car round towards the stables and stopped outside. He raced into the building. Jessica began searching the gardens. The humidity was closing in on her, dark clouds
gathering
. The sky was the colour of dark slate. A storm was on its way. She could feel it in the air.

‘Daniel, Daniel…’ she called repeatedly. But of course he would not answer. He would not say anything. Nor would they be able to hear anything. How could they find an autistic boy in the dark who wouldn’t speak?

She heard Lucas returning in his car. He pushed the
passenger
door open.

‘Get in,’ he shouted.

She obeyed, afraid not to. She was already very cold, with fear and with worry. But she steeled herself. She got in and strapped on the safety belt.

‘I’ve searched the house,’ said Lucas. ‘But there’s no sign of Daniel. I have told my mother that we are going out and will lock up when we return. I said nothing about the children. Have you any idea where Daniel might have gone?’

Jessica shook her head. ‘We went to Worthing today and had a picnic tea on the beach. Lily and Daniel had a great time. Daniel came home with a bag full of bits of seaweed. I left him in the kitchen, filling jam jars with the stuff.’

‘What else?’

‘I don’t know what else,’ Jessica, desperately. ‘There isn’t
anything
else. Who knows what goes on in Daniel’s mind? He could have decided to do anything, go anywhere. He has no idea of time or distance, let alone telling anyone of his plans. I know
it’s partly my fault for falling asleep, but I was so tired. I haven’t been sleeping well lately….’

She let her voice trail off into a landscape of quiet despair. She’d been thinking about Lucas, going over the situation again and again, wondering how she could put things right. Wondering if they would ever regain that heady happiness.

‘We’ll go look for him. He can’t have gone far. I’ll drive slowly, you look on the paths and near hedges. Here’s a torch. I’m sure he’ll keep to roads, something that he knows about from the school bus and drives with you. He doesn’t like
anything
unknown.’

Jessica nodded. It was already starting to rain, a fine mist clouding the windscreen. Daniel had his anorak on but not much else. She shivered.

‘You’re cold,’ said Lucas. ‘There’s a fleece on the back seat. Put it on.’

It was the first kind word he had said to her for days. Jessica reached into the back and pulled on his old navy fleece. It smelt of him and she breathed it in as if he was himself wrapping his arms round her. But the moment vanished as they turned out of the drive onto the roadway.

They drove with the passenger window down so that Jessica could flash the torch onto the paths and verges. Tatters of rain were coming down steadily and soon her sleeve and face were pitted with drops.

Finding Daniel became even more remote as the rain
thickened
and the windscreen wipers struggled to keep the vision clear. Branches swayed overhead, wailing like banshees.

‘Daniel, Daniel….’ she continued to call. Lucas was
watching
the other side of the road, driving slowly and steadily. Moths collected in his headlights for their doom. They came to the village of Eastly, wondering which way Daniel might have chosen.

‘Which way?’ asked Lucas.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Guess. Try to think as Daniel would think. You know him
better than anyone else.’ His voice was dry and bitter.

‘He had a bag of seaweed,’ said Jessica. ‘But he had brought home an awful lot of seaweed, far more than the few jam jars would hold.’

‘So?’

‘Perhaps he’s returning the seaweed to the sea.’

‘You mean, he’s walking to Worthing, to put the seaweed back into the sea?’ Lucas sounded incredulous.

‘I’m only guessing,’ she cried. ‘He wouldn’t like to think of it dying. It would worry him. He wouldn’t wait till morning. He would have to do it now.’

Lucas turned onto the main dual-carriage way towards Worthing, his face set grimly. The rain was now torrential, almost blinding him. Jessica was soaked, her hair flattened against her head. The car heater was on but the heat flew straight out of the windows.

Then she saw him. A small figure, plodding on, head down, barely visible in the downpour. ‘There he is,’ she cried. ‘Over there.’

Lucas spotted him too in his headlights, drew ahead and then slammed on the brakes. Jessica wrenched open the car door and ran towards the boy over the long wet grass. She clasped him into her arms, cradling him, her face against his wet hood.

‘Daniel, you’re all right! We’ve found you. Thank goodness. Thank goodness.’ Jessica held him close, for the first time ever. He did not stiffen but seemed to lean into her, the fear of the night taking away his usual reserve.

‘Get into the car, love. We’ll soon have you home, warm and dry,’ she said, guiding him towards the car. She somehow steered him onto the front passenger seat and then got herself in as well. Daniel ended up, curled on her lap, her arms still firmly round him. He did not resist.

‘Hello, Son,’ said Lucas, turning the car slowly at the next intersection. He realized that Jessica could not fasten the seat belt. ‘Not a goodnight for a walk about.’

Jessica felt the boy’s weight against her and she could smell
the tang of the seaweed. Somewhere, on him, probably inside his anorak was the bag of seaweed.

‘Were you walking to Worthing, Daniel?’ she asked. She felt only the merest of nods.

‘With your bag of seaweed?’

‘Weed,’ came his muffled voice.

‘Were you going to put it back into the sea?’

‘Sea.’

‘We’ll do it tomorrow,’ she assured him. ‘The tide would be on its way out by now and we’d never find the sea in the dark. Seaweed is pretty sturdy stuff, you know. It’ll survive till tomorrow.’

Daniel was almost asleep by the time they reached Upton Hall. It was the first time he had ever allowed anyone to hold him or touch him. But he had almost fallen asleep in Jessica’s arms and, for both of them, it was a milestone.

Lucas carried Daniel indoors, upstairs to the family bathroom. He took off the boy’s sodden clothes and put them and the bag of seaweed on the floor. It was only a quick wash in warm water as Daniel was half asleep. In no time he was curled up in bed, warm and dry, part of him knowing how much he was loved.

Jessica was downstairs in the kitchen, making a pot of tea, knowing Lucas needed a hot drink too. She was still in the soaked fleece. Everything was wet. She knew she looked a sight but she didn’t care. Daniel was safe and that was all that mattered.

Lucas stood in the doorway holding an armful of wet clothes.

‘He’s asleep.’