Authors: Stella Whitelaw
‘Thank you,’ said Jessica, so tenderly. The afternoon became saturated with warmth and light. ‘I’m glad you know. I never want to keep anything from you.’
Lucas tapped his cup for attention. Everyone looked at him.
‘I think this is the right time to give you all some very special news,’ Lucas said, swallowing his mouthful of cucumber
sandwich
. ‘Last night Jessica did me the great honour of agreeing to become my wife. So we are going to be married. Jessica and me. Isn’t that marvellous? Hasn’t anyone noticed her ring? It’s big enough.’
Jessica almost stopped breathing. Supposing everyone hated the idea? It was all so new. Lucas could change his mind.
But Lily hurled herself at Jessica, a bundle of excitement and joy. ‘Are you going to be my new mummy?’ she shrieked. ‘Can I be a bridesmaid? And you will stay with us forever and forever?’
‘Forever and forever,’ said Jessica, taking the little girl in her arms. She was warm and cuddly and a little slimmer.
Even Lady Grace looked pleased. She managed a nod of approval. ‘You can borrow my wedding veil,’ she said
grudgingly
. ‘It’s very old, Brussels lace, but mind you, I shall want it back.’
‘Of course, you’ll have it back. Thank you,’ said Jessica. ‘I shall be delighted and honoured to wear it.’
Jessica turned to Daniel. He had tumbled out of the rocking chair and was standing near her, awkwardly, sketch pad dangling from his hand. He looked so like his father, it was devastating.
‘Would you like me to be your mummy?’ she asked softly.
‘Mummy,’ he said. Then he gave her one of his rare smiles.
Jessica had not been so happy for years. She could not remember the last time she had walked on a cloud. Her happiness was catching. Lily raced around the garden pretending to be a butterfly. Daniel drew a complicated picture of the close-up of a rose and gave it to her, without a word.
‘Thank you, Daniel,’ said Jessica. ‘What a lovely present. I shall pin it on my bedroom wall.’
Even Lady Grace showed traces of a smile cracking her face.
‘It’s all right having you here, you know, permanently. I quite like the idea,’ she said. ‘But don’t think you will be running the household.’
‘As if I would,’ said Jessica, shuffling the cards for their
afternoon
game of cards. ‘I’ve more sense.’
Mrs Harris was far more astute. ‘So you and Mr Lucas have been talking at last, have you?’ she asked. ‘Got things sorted out?’
‘Just talking,’ said Jessica, hiding a smile.
‘Come to your senses, have you?’
‘I don’t know what you mean, Mrs Harris.’
‘I wasn’t born yesterday,’ said Mrs Harris.
Lucas had asked her to wait but only for a short while. There were still a few loose ends to tie up before they could be married. Something to do with his wife’s death. It had to be
registered
. Jessica did not understand. Surely after a road accident, her death would have already been registered?
Work never stopped and Lucas had been called back to the hospital almost immediately after Daniel’s birthday. But he went with a lighter step, knowing that Jessica would be waiting for him when he got home, whatever the time.
Jessica realized that she would not be the sole mistress of Upton Hall when she married Lucas. Lady Grace would still want to think that she ran the household. But it had been a long time since her hands were on the reins, and it would be Jessica and Mrs Harris making the decisions. Even if Lady Grace thought she was in charge.
‘We’ll agree to everything she says and then do it our way,’ said Mrs Harris.
‘Mrs Harris! That is positively revolutionary. You must have taken part in the Peasants Revolt.’
‘I’m not that old,’ said Mrs Harris with a grin.
‘When Lucas and I get married, we are going to have a honeymoon, but only a short one, somewhere warm and sunny. He doesn’t think the hospital can function without him. We would like you to stay here, please, at Upton Hall, overnight, and we will also arrange for a girl to come up from the village to help you during the day. Would that be all right?’
‘Perfect,’ said Mrs Harris. ‘I thought you would never ask.’
‘And when we come back, we want you to have a whole week off as a holiday. I don’t think you have ever had a holiday.’
‘A holiday?’ Mrs Harris looked taken aback. ‘No, I’ve never had any holiday time. But my Bingo friend, May and I would like to go away together. We fancy one of those Shearing’s coach tours.’
‘As soon as we get our dates, you can book your coach holiday,’ said Jessica. ‘You are owed a lot of holiday time.’
Jessica made a note. She and Lucas would pay for Mrs Harris’s coach tour. The woman was a saint. But it was loving Lucas’s father that had turned her into a saint. And it hadn’t happened overnight.
A few afternoons later, they were all in the garden, lolling about
after tea, enjoying autumnal sunshine. Jessica was reading a new crime thriller, Lady Grace dozing in a cushioned chair, Lily was teaching Floppy Ears to do cartwheels. He was not getting on very well, a bit out of his usual orbit. Daniel was sketching as usual. No one was allowed to see what he was working on.
Jessica heard a car coming along the drive. It was not a car she recognized. Not Lucas’s engine. Nor a delivery van. It drew up outside the front entrance, fired the engine again, and then it was switched off.
Jessica wandered round to the front to see who was disturbing their peace. A woman was getting out of a bright red sports car. The red was an over-bright colour against the mellow yellow and browns of the autumnal trees. The woman was slim, wearing a dark emerald green trouser suit, her hair ebony, cut asymmetrical with one side wing longer than the other. Very Posh Spice. Only it wasn’t Victoria Beckham, it was Dr Amanda Burton.
The woman turned on her heel, grinding the spike into the gravel. She smiled at Jessica, but it was not really a smile. There was no humour in it.
‘So this is where you are hiding out,’ said Amanda Burton.
‘I’m not hiding out. This is where I work,’ said Jessica.
‘Call it work, do you? That’s a new one.’
Jessica refused to answer. She was remembering the last time they met when this woman deliberately spilt her wine down Jessica’s dress and then her beaded bag caught in the frills and ruined it.
‘What are you doing here?’ Jessica asked. ‘What do you want?’
‘I was going to ask you the same thing,’ said Amanda. ‘What are you doing here? Up to some mischief, obviously. But one thing for sure, you are not getting my husband.’
‘Your husband?’ Jessica almost choked on the word. ‘Fraser? I wouldn’t touch him with a bargepole, or anything longer or shorter. He’s the most repulsive creature I have ever had the misfortune to come across.’
‘Come now, that’s not what you used to think,’ Amanda mocked. ‘You used to think that the sun shone out of his arse.’
‘I never said that.’
‘It’s what you thought. You adored the man. You thought he was a very fine catch for a student nurse.’
‘I was very young and foolish. I knew nothing about men, especially ones like your husband.’
‘Yet you spent the last two nights with him at the Double Cross Inn, outside Brighton. And I’ve got the receipts in my hand, and a photocopy of the registry book with your signature. You can’t deny it. It’s here in black and white.’
Jessica was speechless. It was all a total prefabrication. She had been here at Upton Hall, sleeping in the yellow bedroom. She would never go anywhere with the despicable Fraser. Yet, Amanda was waving bits of paper at her, and was now striding towards her.
‘Don’t think you are going to get away with this, trying to steal my husband. I’ll make sure you are never employed
anywhere
, ever again. And certainly not at Upton Hall, looking after Lucas Coleman’s children. You can’t be trusted. You’ve no morals. Does he know where you were these last two nights?’
Lucas had not come home. There had been some awful flat fire and he had to deal with burned children, rebuild their skin, their faces. He had not been home for two nights. But they had spoken briefly, on the phone, reaffirmed their love for each other, knowing they would be together soon.
‘You don’t scare me,’ said Jessica. ‘I suggest you leave and go back to whatever miserable life you have with Fraser. I don’t want anything to do with him or with you.’
‘I’ve already faxed copies of these documents to Lucas Coleman. I’m sure he’ll be interested to know what you do with your spare time when he is not here.’
‘The way out is that way,’ said Jessica, pointing down the drive. ‘And don’t come back here again, ever.’
‘Don’t think you are getting rid of me that easily. I know you are after my husband, but you are not going to get him. I’ll fight
you every inch of the way and I have a lot of weapons in my arsenal. I’ll get you struck off the Nursing Register, so that you will never work again.’
Jessica felt an overwhelming tiredness. Amanda Burton was a vindictive woman and Jessica could not understand why she was acting this way. It was as if the nightmare had returned. Now it was Amanda who wanted to humiliate her for no reason at all.
‘Willdo? Willdo? Where are you?’
She heard Lily’s voice calling her. Jessica turned away and went through the rose garden. She heard the car engine start up and drive away with a burst of acceleration. It sounded as angry as its driver.
‘Floppy Ears can’t do cartwheels. His ears get in the way,’ said Lily. ‘Shall I get some ribbon and tie them up?’
‘I don’t think that would be very comfortable for him,’ said Jessica. ‘Would you like to have your ears tied up?’
‘No, I wouldn’t,’ said Lily firmly.
‘Why not try hand-stands? Floppy Ears could probably manage a few hand-stands if you help him.’
‘Hand-stands! We’ll do hand-stands all over the garden.’ Lily raced away.
‘It makes me quite tired just watching that child,’ said Lady Grace, who had woken up. ‘What do you feed her on?’
‘Not sugar and spice, for sure. She’s beginning to lose weight which is a good sign. But I think poor Floppy Ears is due for a relapse. I shall have to go to Brighton pier and win another one.’
Lady Grace’s face changed with what occasionally passed for a smile. ‘You might not be so lucky a second time.’
‘I might come back with a camel. I suppose he’d be called Humpy.’
Daniel had been listening but said nothing. Jessica had lost her place in her book and she had lost interest in the plot. The unexpected visitor had upset her more than she cared to admit.
She wanted to see Lucas. She wanted to find out if Amanda had been bluffing.
It was a very tired and grubby Lily who went into the bath that evening. She hardly had the energy to do her brown inhaler. And she was almost asleep before Jessica finished reading a story.
‘Floppy Ears v’good at hand-stands,’ she said. ‘Better’n me.’
Floppy Ears looked exhausted.
Daniel had already put himself to bed. He was old enough to wash himself now. He handed Jessica a sheet of paper from one of his new drawing pads. It was a perfect drawing of a camel.
‘Hump,’ he said.
Jessica waited up for Lucas returning from the hospital. It was almost midnight. Mrs Harris had long gone home, and Lady Grace was tucked up in bed with her hot milk and two digestive biscuits.
Jessica had a shower and changed into a clean track suit, her blue one. She knew Lucas liked the colour. There was a tray of sandwiches for him but he would probably be past eating. Maybe a glass of whisky and then he would be off to his bed, too tired to do more than kiss her goodnight.
She heard his car coming up the drive. He was coming quite slowly as if it was too much of an effort. The car went round the side of Upton Hall to the stable garages. Lucas seemed to be a long time coming into the house and she was beginning to wonder if he had gone straight to bed.
This was so unlike him that Jessica began to fidget around the room, unsettled by his non-appearance. Then Lucas came into the room and she was shocked by his appearance. He looked gaunt and haggard, shadows under his eyes.
She ran over to him and put her arms round him. His head sank onto hers as if he didn’t have the strength to hold it up. She felt the weight of him against her and guided him to a big armchair. He fell into it with a groan, his eyes closed.
‘You look terrible,’ she said. ‘What has happened?’
‘We lost one of them,’ he said. ‘One of the children. Five years old, the same age as Lily.’
‘Oh, how awful,’ said Jessica. ‘I’m so sorry. But I’m sure you did everything you could.’
‘Of course I did everything I could.’ His voice had a sudden sharp edge to it. ‘But it wasn’t enough.’
There was nothing Jessica could say to ease the guilt. She knew what it felt like, to lose a patient. She always wondered if she could have done more. If she had missed something, not been at a bedside when she was most needed.
She went to the drinks table and poured Lucas a glass of his favourite whisky. There were still some melting ice cubes left at the bottom of the ice bin. Mrs Harris had forgotten to fill it. She took the crystal tumbler over to him, knelt down and put it carefully into his hand.
‘Maybe this will help,’ she said. ‘At least it will help you to sleep.’
He took a few sips and nodded. Then he opened his eyes, their usual brightness dimmed.
‘You’re looking very….’ Lucas seemed to search for a word. ‘Very seductive,’ he added.
Jessica rocked back on heels. It was such a strange thing for him to say. He had never called her seductive before. She had never thought of herself as seductive. Seductive was someone who wore black fish-net stockings and a plunge bra, not a blue track suit.
‘Well, I don’t feel it,’ she said. ‘It’s been a busy day.’
‘No, I suppose you don’t. At least not with me. A worn-out and tired surgeon who is never at home. You should really find someone more lively and stimulating. Someone who will take you out and give you a good time.’
It was the second shock of the day, to hear Lucas speak to her in that way.
‘I’ve never wanted “a good time”, as you put it,’ said Jessica. ‘I’m very happy here with Lily and Daniel, and the occasional outing to Brighton pier.’
‘Oh yes, I’d forgotten. You like Brighton, don’t you? Is it one of your regular haunts?’
Jessica got up from her knees. Lucas must have been
drinking
and that’s why he drove so slowly up the drive. If he had lost a patient, one he cared about, then perhaps he’d already had a few whiskies.
‘I think you need some sleep, Lucas,’ she said, trying to stop her voice from trembling. ‘You’ll feel a little more like yourself in the morning.’
‘Perhaps I will,’ he said, getting up clumsily. ‘I don’t know what to think.’
He went from the room, not stopping to kiss her, the whisky almost spilling in his hand. Jessica did not know whether to go with him or let him find his own way to the stables. It was his house. He must know the way.
‘Goodnight, sweetheart,’ she said, her voice still trembling. He had not kissed her. She followed him out into the hall. His coat was thrown on a chair. His briefcase thrown on another chair. It had come open. Some papers had fallen to the floor. She bent down to pick them up and froze.