Authors: Stella Whitelaw
‘You would look wonderful in red.’
Jessica paused. It was still so painful even with Lucas feeding her wine and listening to every word. She remembered every moment of getting ready for this important party. This was Alice land again. The Red Queen was about to arrive.
‘It was a lovely soft silk dress that cost far more than I could afford on a nurse’s salary. I went to the party on my own as Fraser, for some reason, couldn’t pick me up. I went by taxi to the big hotel. There were so many people wandering about, I was completely lost. The reception was being held in the
ballroom
. I remember the chandeliers, all sparkling lights, the mirrored walls. Waiters wandering around with trays of champagne and wine. Then I saw Fraser and went over to him. He was standing with a woman, a sleek brunette who was also
wearing a red dress. She was lovely. But her dress was couture. Mine was best Monsoon.’
‘What happened?’
‘I went over to Fraser, pleased and relieved to see him. There were a lot of people milling around and I was feeling more than a bit nervous. He brushed away my hand, hardly looking at me and turned to the elegant woman beside him. He drew her closely to his side.
“Let me introduce you to my fiancée, Dr Amanda Morgan”, he said flamboyantly. Then he turned her and kissed this woman in front of everyone. In front of me. Can you imagine how I felt? “And this is Jessica Harlow”, he went on, laughing, “one of the student nurses who thinks the sun shines out of my arse. She never leaves me alone. Follows me around like a pet puppy”.’
‘There was a stunned silence and then Dr Amanda Morgan, the sleek, elegant brunette, for no good reason, pretended to trip and her drink, whatever it was, went over my dress. “Down, doggy, down”, she said, in a spiteful voice and turned away, laughing. As she turned away, her bag, a beaded evening bag, caught in the folds of my beautiful dress and tore the silk. The dress was ruined. The evening was ruined. I was shattered. She was his fiancée?’
‘What did you do?’ Lucas was quite still, listening.
‘I hardly remember. I believe I ran down the stairs, out onto the street, a bit like Cinderella at midnight. No coach waiting. It was cold and windy. I got home somehow, in another taxi. Cried all the way.’
Lucas caught his breath, ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath.
‘Do you believe me?’ she asked.
‘Of course I believe you,’ said Lucas. ‘You’ve always told me the truth. I know that now.’
‘But today, Fraser arrived at your hospital, and said he was looking for me.’
‘He wasn’t looking for you. He was checking on a private
patient, who had been moved to us, and someone in the staffroom happened to tell him about Lady Grace and my children and the wonderful nurse from London, from the same hospital, who was looking after them. When he discovered your name, he sought me out. It was not pleasant, I can tell you. He said you were engaged to him, that you had disappeared without a trace, that he had been looking for you for months, and that he feared for your sanity.’
Jessica shook her head, began to weep. ‘All lies. He made it all up. Clever people can be cruel.’
‘I know that now. But I didn’t then. In minutes he destroyed all my dreams of you becoming my wife. It seemed to make sense of why you were always turning me down. It became obvious. You couldn’t marry me if you were already engaged to someone else.’
‘I’m not engaged to anyone and certainly not to Fraser. I hate him. It took me months to get over that humiliation in front of everyone. The word raced round the hospital like a flu epidemic. Other nurses used to come up to me on the ward and ask me where was the sun shining from today? It was horrible. It took me ages to get over it. Only work helped. So, how did you find out the truth about Fraser? What made you change your mind?’
Lucas stretched out in the chair, suddenly bone weary. ‘My registrar phoned me half an hour ago. He said that he overheard Fraser asking one of the nurses out for a late dinner and saying that he would drive her home. He said that his wife was at their flat in London and she wouldn’t mind. They had a very open marriage.’
‘His wife? The woman who ruined my dress?’
‘I have no idea, Jessica, who she is. It doesn’t matter, does it? He is married apparently but it didn’t stop him trying to make a dinner date with one of my nurses. She has been warned and has politely declined the offer.’
‘A lucky escape.’
Jessica sat back, regaining her composure, a warmth flowing through her veins. ‘I think I’ll fetch another glass. Is that all
right? I’d like some more of your lovely wine.’
‘And I’ll open another bottle. You deserve my best wine. Recuperation. You had a rough time with this bastard. I hope he doesn’t come to my hospital again or he could find himself cornered in the car park on a dark night. Fortunately his patient is recovering and will be moved back to London tomorrow. We need the bed.’
‘Thank you, Lucas. And thank you for believing me. I’ve never talked about it before. I couldn’t. It was too humiliating.’
‘Subject closed,’ said Lucas, opening another bottle of wine. ‘We shall never mention it again. I’m getting better at this opening lark.’
‘It’s all the practice,’ said Jessica, breathing in the perfume of love, almost silent with delight.
‘You’re leading me down a slippery path,’ he grinned. ‘And talking about slippery paths. I hear you worked a miracle today. You got Lady Grace into a proper swimming pool. That was amazing.’
‘She enjoyed it, eventually. Even if she did not approve of my method of finding someone who would let us use their pool.’
‘Typical. She’ll always manage to find something wrong. It’s her occupation. If a guardian angel came to visit she’d complain about the draught from his wings. And the kids?’
‘They loved it, both of them. It was perfect for Daniel, the quietness, the space, no people about. Daniel can already swim a bit, as you know, and Lily took to it straight away, splashing about with arm-bands on. And we can go again, which is wonderful. Lady Grace met an old friend, Arthur Hopkins, from her Brighton swimming club days. It was quite a touching reunion.’
‘She used to swim a lot. I believe at one point, years ago, she was considering training to swim across the Channel. She took it very seriously.’
‘So what happened to put her off? What made her stop
swimming
, and so abruptly? There must have been a reason.’
Lucas finished up the last of the cheese and biscuits. He liked Stilton. His appetite had returned. He was glad of her company
and Jessica looked so relaxed and comfortable, so at home with him in the library. It was as if they had been together for years. The colour had returned to her fair cheeks as if a great burden had been lifted. Her story was out in the open now.
‘No one knows. It happened, whatever it was, when I was a boy, so I never took much notice of what anyone in the family did. Mother was a private person. Father worked the same sort of long hours as I do now. I was always wrapped up in my own pursuits. All I can remember is that one day she came home from Brighton in a terrible state. Wearing clothes on top of her swimming costume, hair still wet, not speaking to anyone. She went straight upstairs to her room and didn’t come down till late the next day.’
‘And she didn’t say anything?’
‘She said nothing. She refused point blank to answer any questions. Dad and I gave up in the end.’
‘How very strange. Something must have happened.’
‘But I did remember something, although at the time it meant nothing to me, as a young boy. As she staggered up the stairs, I could see her ankles. They were torn and bleeding, skin shredded. I thought then that she had fallen on the shingle on Brighton beach, but now I realize that it was something more than a fall and a few scratches. They were quite serious cuts.’
‘Jaws? Maybe there was a shark in the English Channel.’
‘You may well laugh, but who knows what is on the floor of the sea, anywhere? There was a lot of activity along Brighton beach during the war. And there were fifty bombing raids. She could have stepped on some rotting barbed wire, or got caught up in it and panicked. The tides are high.’
‘You may be right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed. I bet the beach was covered in barbed wire in case there was an invasion.’
‘It was worse than that. There were concrete blocks, barbed wire and landmines all along the beach. They were prepared for the worst.’
Jessica finished her glass of wine. She was ready for bed now.
It had been an exhausting day, mentally and physically. She wanted to sail in the shallows of ocean sleep.
‘Let’s hope she can put the bad memories behind her now and enjoy swimming in this very luxurious private pool. Lady Grace did about three lengths today, very slowly, but she got there.’
‘Three lengths?’ Lucas pretended to look horrified. ‘Good heavens. The Grand had better get in a few more crates of
champagne
. We’re going to need them.’
Jessica started clearing the tray to take into the kitchen.
‘What do you mean?’
‘The Grand Hotel, Brighton. Remember? It was a wager we made. I bet you that you couldn’t get Lady Grace to go
swimming
and you have. So you have won yourself a slap up dinner in the King’s Restaurant at the Grand. I’ll make sure we get a table with a sea view.’
‘Surely that was only a joke?’
Jessica caught sight of the fire in his eyes and she
moved
away, coming briefly to her senses.
‘You should know by now that I never joke about things that are important,’ he said. Everything stopped, laughter, movement, even time. They stood, looking at each other, wondering if they dare break the spell.
The spell was broken by the smallest sound by the doorway. The door into the library had opened a few inches and they saw Daniel’s face. He did not look fully awake but he had come downstairs in his pyjamas. He was standing in the doorway, stimming, tapping on the door which was his essential coping mechanism. As he moved forward, he continued tapping on his side.
‘Hello, Daniel,’ said Lucas, immediately aware of the stress signal. ‘Is something the matter?’
Jessica put the tray on a side table, and lowered herself down to Daniel’s level. She held out her hand but he did not take it, but went on tapping obsessively.
‘Are you all right?’ she asked.
He nodded, not looking at her.
‘Do you want to tell us something?’
He was struggling. He didn’t know the right words, couldn’t find them, making small movements with his mouth. ‘Floppy Ears,’ he said at last.
‘What’s the matter with Floppy Ears? Has Lily lost him?’
‘Lily,’ he said, with relief.
‘It’s Lily,’ said Lucas immediately. ‘Something’s wrong with Lily.’ He was out of the door and up the stairs in seconds, straight into his daughter’s bedroom. She heard him switch on the main light.
‘Good boy,’ said Jessica. ‘You’re a very good, clever boy to come and tell us. You did the right thing. Now I must go up to Lily. Stay here until I come back.’
‘Lily,’ he said again, more urgently. This was unusual for him to say anything twice with expression.
Jessica hurried up the stairs but she could already hear the wheezing. It was really loud. She didn’t need to be told. Lily was having an asthma attack. She was fighting for breath through lips that were already tinged with blue.
‘Chair,’ said Lucas.
Jessica knew immediately why he wanted a chair. He sat the pale and clammy child on the chair, facing the back, her arms leaning over to help open the airways. Jessica opened a window so that there was some fresh air coming in, at the same time, draping a blanket round Lily so that she would not get cold. The storm was abating, the thunder more distant.
Lily was unaware of who was there or what was happening.
‘Nebulizer and oxygen in the top cupboard,’ said Lucas. The equipment was there. He was a doctor. He would be
prepared
for anything happening to Lily at home. Jessica plugged in the compressor to a wall socket, quickly washed and dried her hands, put the mask over Lily’s nose and mouth and gave her a few whiffs of the life-saving oxygen. Lucas controlled the metered dosage of the nebulizer.
Lily breathed in the oxygen. The blue tinge went from her lips, her usual healthy pink returning.
‘Adrenaline. The smallest dose. There’s a hypodermic pack in the box.’
Jessica found the pack and broke the seal.
By now the terrible wheezing was easing and Lily’s breathing was becoming more normal. It was a moment of relief. Jessica did not realize how tense she had become till Lucas took her hand and squeezed it gently.
His hand was firm and warm, the skin smooth, the nails clipped as a surgeon’s hand would be. It felt reassuring. A man’s hand. A hand you could trust.
‘Well done,’ he said. ‘I wish all my nurses moved as fast as you do. Lily is going to be all right now. She’ll be back to sleep in no time.’
But Lily had decided to wake up and pleaded for another story before she went back to sleep. And there was no editing out pages. Lily knew her favourite books by heart.
‘Have the clouds stopped bumping into each other?’ she asked.
Lucas gave his daughter some water to drink. ‘No more bumping clouds,’ he said. ‘Shall I read you a story?’
‘This story has got some long words,’ said Lily dubiously.
‘I can do long words.’
Daniel was back in bed. His bedroom had its usual soft, low lighting. Jessica put on another CD of natural sounds, wind and rain, the sea and bird song. She knew it was soothing and
therapeutic
. She stroked back his hair, wishing he would respond to her in some way. He kept his eyes firmly shut as if she was not there.
‘Goodnight Daniel. Thank you for coming and telling us about Lily. That was the right thing to do. And you did it extremely well.’
Jessica was out in the garden, helping Lady Grace dead-head what was left of the roses after the storm. Her garden had been devastated but her ladyship had not been too dismayed. She had tossed away Fred and was using a stick.
‘It’s nature,’ she said. ‘But it will grow again. It always does. Next year. I’ll show you how to prune next week. There’s a skill, you know, with roses. You have to cut in exactly the right place.’
‘If I’m still here,’ said Jessica. She was not sure. It had been a good evening, talking to Lucas but her heart had steeled itself against more miracles.
‘You will continue to be employed here for your contract, Jess. I’ll make sure of that. I can see what you have achieved with the children. My son is an idiot if he doesn’t see it. And the children need your kind of guidance. Of course, I would have got better on my own, but still you have been a useful and pleasant companion.’
Jessica hid a smile. There was no point in arguing with Lady Grace. She lived in a world that had moved on.
A fresh breeze combed the garden. Lady Grace shivered and patted down her hair.
‘I’ll go and fetch you a cardigan,’ said Jessica. ‘Which one would you like?’
‘The royal-blue one, please. You’ll see it folded on a chair.’
Jessica sped indoors. There was certainly the cool scent of autumn in the air. She knew how hard it would be to go when
her contract ended. She found the cardigan and hurried
downstairs
, out into the garden.
Her feet stopped in their tracks. Lady Grace was talking to a tall, blond haired man in casual jeans and leather jacket. He was looking at the house, taking in the graceful lines and big windows. Then he caught sight of Jessica, grinned and waved her over.
‘Hiya, Jessica babe. Long time no see. You’ve done well for yourself. Upton Hall, no less, what a grand house, almost a mansion. You’ll be setting your sights on the lord of the manor next. Always the one to grab at good opportunities,’ he added with a smirk. ‘You never miss a chance.’
Jessica’s mind slipped down several notches into despair. How could she have ever thought this man was wonderful? It was Fraser Burton. He was a jerk. A nasty, malicious jerk. He had his hand on Lady Grace’s arm, as if helping her, smoothing back his oddly long blond hair with his other hand.
‘What are you doing here?’ said Jessica coldly.
‘Lucas invited me yesterday. He said drop in anytime. So I thought I’d call by and see how you are. After all, we were very close once. And maybe we will be again. You never know. You have grown into a beautiful woman.’
He dropped his hand and started walking towards her, but Jessica side-stepped his path and went to join Lady Grace. She was furious that he had dared to come to Upton Hall, pretending that Lucas had invited him.
‘Surely you are married to the delectable brunette, Dr Amanda? I distinctly remember you introducing her to everyone as your fiancée.’
‘Well, it’s a sort of marriage,’ said Fraser with an easy laugh. ‘Didn’t last long. We are talking about parting, something amicable. And the first thing I shall do is give you a call, my sweet saucy Jessica. We could take up where we left off. I’d really like that.’ He turned to Lady Grace. ‘Jessica and I were very, very close once, intimately close, if you get what I mean.’
He was still handsome, but he had put on weight round the
middle. Too many parties. The longish hair did not suit him.
‘I certainly don’t, young man,’ said Lady Grace briskly. ‘I do not believe for an instance that my son invited you to call here to see Jess. He knows that she has her hands full looking after me and there is no time for visitors.’
‘But he said that Jessica would love to see me. That she has been missing me, done nothing but talk about knowing me, and the fun we had together, since she arrived.’ Fraser’s eyes were feasting on every inch of her slim figure. Jessica wanted to scream, to run away, to hide somewhere that he could never find her.
‘We were almost engaged, you see,’ he went on, smoothly. ‘Although, Jessica is a scheming young hussy and has probably set her sights on richer prey by now. I saw his car at the hospital. That beauty didn’t cost peanuts.’
‘It is none of your business, young man, how much my son paid for his car. He deserves every penny he earns. I don’t believe a word of what you are saying about Jessica, and I suggest you leave. You are beginning to irritate me.’ Lady Grace changed which hand she was holding the stick and began walking firmly back to the house.
Jessica closed her eyes for a second, half expecting something to happen. She did not like the expression she had seen cross Fraser’s face. He was not used to being spoken to in that manner. He usually charmed every woman he met, whatever her age. Lady Grace could not be charmed.
‘Well, well, fancy that,’ he said, a flush rising on his cheeks. ‘I’m beginning to irritate you, am I? I could say the same about your ladyship. Where’s the famous Upton Hall hospitality? Don’t I get a cup of coffee, a glass of Irish whiskey, a twenty-minute romp in a warm bed? I wouldn’t say no to your bed, your ladyship, hip replacement or not, though of course a younger, slimmer body would be preferable. One without wrinkles or flabby bits.’
Jessica heard Lady Grace gasped at Fraser’s audacity. She turned to confront him, her own sharp tongue ready to flail him
for his impudence. At that very same moment, Fraser put out his foot and sent the stick flying.
Jessica ran forward at the speed of light and caught Lady Grace in her arms, seconds before she was about to hit the ground. She staggered for a moment with the weight, but managed to regain her balance. Lady Grace clung to her, her chest heaving, all colour gone from her face. She was fluttering like an injured bird.
‘She’s had a hip replacement, you fool,’ Jessica shouted. ‘A fall could have dislocated it. Don’t you know anything? Get a chair for her.’
‘Get it yourself,’ said Fraser, kicking the stick further away. He got out his mobile phone and switched it on. ‘Amanda darling? Quick message. Don’t wait in for me. I shall be late. I have some unfinished business with an old flame of mine.’
His eyes were blazing. He turned to Jessica. ‘Let the old woman go. I want what is rightfully mine and should have been mine, years ago. But you were always such a prude. Such a prissy. Well, I’ve waited long enough and now I am going to take what belongs to me.’
He moved towards Jessica, obviously about to pin her arms to her sides. Jessica felt control slipping away from her. Fraser was big and he was strong. He was also very angry. The odds were against her being able to fight him off and keep Lady Grace from falling at the same time.
Thank goodness the children were at school, thought Jessica, as her spine went into a spasm with a flash of pain. Her old back injury. Her throat constricted in fear at the sight of the savagery in his face. He grabbed at her shoulder.
Fraser’s face was opaque with rage and desire. The weight of Lady Grace was tearing her shoulder ligaments. But Jessica hung onto the older woman.
A figure hurled from the house, a figure in a flowered overall, holding a wooden rolling pin. It was Mrs Harris. She went straight for Fraser and hit him firmly behind the knees, very hard.
He crumpled to the ground, groaning and swearing. He rolled over, clutching his knees in pain.
‘I’ve always wanted to do that,’ Mrs Harris said, breathing heavily. ‘I saw it on the telly. Some detective programme.’
‘Please help Lady Grace indoors,’ said Jessica, still holding up Lady Grace. ‘Sit her in the kitchen where it is warm and make her some tea. I’ll get rid of this nasty piece of work.’
‘Will you be all right, miss? Be careful. I’ll stay if you like. ‘
‘You look after Lady Grace. I’ll be fine now.’
Fraser was clambering up and stumbling towards his car. He was covered in mud from the night’s rain. He glared at Jessica as he fumbled for his car keys.
‘I’ll be back for you,’ he said, spitting out mud from his mouth.
‘Get out,’ said Jessica. ‘And don’t you ever dare come round this way again. We’ve got a record of all that, you kicking away Lady Grace’s stick and coming for me. You see we have a very elaborate security system here and you were standing right in the lens of one of the CCTV cameras. So it’s all recorded. The Medical Council might take a poor view of your behaviour.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘What’s that camera up there? The one pointing straight at you now.’
He didn’t look.
He started the car and drove away, very badly, driving over the grass and dragging a shrub out by its roots. He didn’t speak, he didn’t look back. He put his foot down on the accelerator and shot down the drive.
She could not believe he had gone.
Jessica was limp with pain and the weight of her
disconnected
thoughts. What was she going to say to Lady Grace? All the dreadful accusations that Fraser had made about her. She went into the kitchen reluctantly, wiping the perspiration from her face, longing for a drink. She went straight to the tap and poured herself some water.
Lady Grace and Mrs Harris were both sitting at the kitchen
table, drinking tea. The brandy bottle was out and Jessica could smell the fumes. Mrs Harris poured her a cup of tea and added a generous sluice of brandy.
‘It’s only cooking brandy,’ she said. ‘But you deserve it, my girl. A real young heroine. I saw him kick away Lady Grace’s stick. I was at an upstairs window, dusting. It took me a few minutes to get downstairs. Then I saw him attacking you. So I came out.’
‘Thank goodness you did,’ said Jessica, putting her head in her hands. ‘I couldn’t have managed much longer on my own.’
‘What a dreadful man,’ said Lady Grace. ‘However did you get involved with such a nasty person?’
‘He wasn’t always like that,’ said Jessica. ‘He can be quite charming. I was very young and blind, I suppose. But he was already engaged to this Dr Amanda, even when he was dating me.’
‘A two-timer. Seen a lot of that on the telly,’ said Mrs Harris, pushing the tea towards Jessica. ‘Drink that now. It’ll do you good.’
Lady Grace was looking much better. She had recovered her colour and was obviously not in pain. Jessica checked that she was unhurt from the fall. A dislocation would be a terrible set-back.
‘He said some terrible things about me,’ Jessica began. ‘I don’t know how to explain. None of it is true.’
Lady Grace stirred the last of her tea vigorously as if brewing some obnoxious potion. She had that gleam in her eye.
‘Load of rubbish,’ said Lady Grace, accepting a second cup of laced tea. ‘I don’t believe a word. It’s the ranting of an
ambitious
and untrustworthy man. He is envious of Lucas, who is his superior in every way, at the hospital and at home. He just takes it out on anyone he thinks is weaker than him.’
‘So you don’t believe him?’
‘Not a word. And he is mad with jealousy. He saw that you were happy here with us at Upton Hall and also, I might say, looking very attractive.’ Lady Grace paused as if she had
something momentous to say. ‘I don’t think we should mention this incident to Lucas. He might react very badly. He might go storming off to London to create merry hell in medical circles. Not good for his own career. Not good for his patients and they always come first.’
Jessica nodded, understanding.
‘Thank you. I never want to see him again. The man is a menace. He cheated on me some time ago, humiliated me and made a fool of me in public.’
‘Hard to do,’ said Lady Grace.
‘I agree,’ said Mrs Harris. ‘Doctor Coleman would be furious. He might even call the police, etc. We don’t want that, people tramping about the garden, bringing in mud.’
‘I told him it was all recorded on CCTV,’ said Jessica. ‘That his every action was filmed and recorded.’
‘Very clever, my dear,’ said Lady Grace. ‘Perhaps we ought to get them installed. They might be useful. Well now, do you fancy a game of cards? Shall we play for money? Fifty pence?’
‘So the odds are going up? We played for twenty pence yesterday.’
‘It’s all that exercise.’