Racing Outside the Line: A Love Story at 190 Mph (5 page)

"Oh, I’ll watch it alright," I heard the last guy mumble so that Desmond didn’t hear him. He was standing indecently close to me. "I’m Greg… and
you
are beautiful."

He certainly wasn’t as smooth as Brad had been and the lack of connection I felt to him made the attraction I felt toward Brad seem all the stronger. "Uh, thanks." I wasn’t sure what to say having always hated compliments. While Brad made my heart kick into overdrive, Greg caused an equally overwhelming, albeit polar opposite reaction in me. He seemed like a skirt-chaser from one of the fraternities I had lived by, but he was Desmond’s friend so I wasn’t about to call him on it in front of everyone.

Several hours later I found myself playing pool in the sunroom with Brad and his smooth flirtations making me laugh and have a genuinely good time. Of course, I completely encouraged him with my own flirtatious behavior. Greg tried a few more times to get my attention, but eventually gave up his attempts to attract me.

Brad decided to teach me how to play pool and since I enjoyed his hands on me, I allowed him to continue to think that I had no clue what I was doing, when, in fact, I could likely beat everyone in the room (an ex-boyfriend had spent hours and hours teaching me technique and strategy). I was bent over the pool table with Brad bending over the back of me and his arms wrapped around me in demonstration of finding the right angle, for the pool cue that is, when I heard Desmond say, "It’s about time, Seth, I was about to take your boat out on the lake without you." My heart stalled, my hands froze, my body tensed, and I suddenly had difficulty breathing. This, of course, had to be the moment that he walked in to see me after four years, when a man, practically a stranger, was bent over me. I closed my eyes and cursed silently, but I refused to show any blatant weakness. I had been preparing myself for this moment for months, okay, years really.

Brad stood up slowly, leaving his hand on the small of my back, "Good, perfect angle, Alexis."

"Alexis?" I heard Seth’s clear, deep voice ask in unmasked amazement.

"Yeah, you know, Alexis, your
kid sister
?" Brad asked teasingly.

Breathe, Alexis,
I told myself,
just breathe and stand up slowly, resist the urge to fidget, be confident, strong, sexy, breathe.
I stood up and was ready to face the man that had crushed me so many years ago, who had seen fit to disappear from my life without so much as a word. Not that it mattered since I was over him, way over him, totally over him. I turned around and looked at him. Dear God, he looked good. He was heavier than he had been four years ago, more muscular and older, sexier. His body looked rock solid, the muscles of his upper arms flexing beneath a royal blue t-shirt. My eyes continued their journey right up to his eyes, which, I noticed, were busy taking in my appearance.
Don’t fidget, don’t adjust
, I repeated.

I watched as his eyes travelled from my toes up to my chin. I wondered what he was looking for. Perhaps he was finally noticing that I was
not
a kid anymore. When his eyes moved up from my chin, I could feel the heat rush to my face. Slowly, cautiously, his eyes met mine. They twinkled in the daylight and were wide with surprise, but it was what was behind them that I could not ignore.

Standing before me was the same man I fell in love with, the same man I followed around all those years, the same man I was trying desperately to deny I had feelings for. The lightning bolt that seemed to pass between his eyes and mine served as a searing reminder of my feelings for him. The way he stood there focusing on me, capturing me in the grasp of his eyes made me wonder if maybe, just maybe, he felt the spark too.

Idiot!
I shouted at myself inside my head. What an idiot I was for not being over him. Why did this ridiculous chemistry have to exist between us? Why had it always been there? I had had "nice" relationships with guys in the years past, I had been loved and loved in return and been comfortable. Why couldn’t I just leave well enough alone? Why couldn’t I be happy with the comfort I had been allotted? In that moment I couldn’t help but regret leaving California. It had been safe there.

I watched him take two steps forward and found myself taking a few steps in his direction before I was able to shake myself from the stupor that the sudden and blinding return of my feelings for him had put me into. I gathered up my courage and did the brave thing… I went to "use the restroom."

I stared at my reflection in the mirror for several minutes trying to pull myself together. "Look at you, you’re a mess," I whispered to myself. "Pull it together, Alexis, he’s just a guy, you can handle this, you’re stronger than this." After splashing some water on my neck, I threw my shoulders back and headed out the door.

Of course
, I thought as I walked slowly and methodically back to the sunroom
, I could handle this better with a beer
. I seriously needed to take the edge off my ridiculous nerves, so I detoured into the kitchen and went straight for the fridge.

The cool air hit me with a rush and I felt a little sturdier, a little less flushed with surprise than I had been before. I stood there deciding that I wasn’t very proud of myself. I let him get to me, and I would be damned if I would continue to do that.
He
was the one who deserved to be uncomfortable.
He
was the one who deserved to squirm under my gaze. As I reached out to grab a beer, I swore to myself that I would not let him know that he was getting to me. I was a beautiful adult woman now, for crying out loud, not the wobbly teenager he used to know.

"
What
are you doing?" I nearly dropped my beer as I heard Seth get up from the kitchen table behind me. His tone was full of reproach as if he caught me stealing something valuable.

I pulled up my chin. I wasn’t about to take any crap from him, "Grabbing a beer, what does it look like I’m doing?"

"Does my dad know you’re drinking at your age?" I choked on the gulp of beer I was downing, and he walked over and patted me on the back. Was he
serious
? I looked up at him to determine whether he had been joking and was confronted with a completely solemn expression. That really pissed me off. Not only was I mad at Seth for being a moron, but at myself for the jolt of electricity that his tiny little touch had sent through my back and into my body.

"At
my
age?" I asked with righteous indignation. I walked closer to him, stopping less than a foot from him. I had forgotten how much taller he was than me. I looked up into his eyes, "exactly how old do
you
think I am?"

"I don’t know, nineteen, I guess."
Nineteen? Nineteen?
He didn’t even care enough to know how old I was! I spent every single one of his birthdays in a bad mood because I couldn’t wish him a happy birthday, and he couldn’t even remember that I was old enough to drink? Another blatant reminder of my idiocy stared me right in my
nineteen
-year-old face.

He stood there, his hand stretched out in request for the beer I was holding, and I just got so much more pissed off at him. How dare he treat me like a child! How dare he not be at all affected by my presence. I should strip down naked right here and now and see if
that
gets some kind of response from him.
Okay
, I thought,
that might not be a good idea, but I can certainly push him a little.

"Well, Seth," I placed my hand on his upper arm, "I was nearly eighteen when you made love to me," I paused for effect, smiling seductively up at him. He noticeably flinched and swallowed hard, but did not look away. "I’ve been at school for four years, which makes me twenty-two." I took another confident chug of my beer, seductively placing my lips over the tip of the bottle. His eyes widened, and it was clear I had gotten his attention. "I’ve been drinking for several years now, Seth. Your father knows that, Desmond knows it, you seem to be the only one who hasn’t been around me enough to notice that I’m an adult."

His face read volumes. He had really and truly been thinking of me as a kid. He really hadn’t realized I was all grown up and fully old enough to carry on an adult relationship with someone four years older than me. Well now, what would happen if I just pushed him a teensy bit more? Would he get angry? At the very least, this could be fun, getting under his skin. I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him slowly, sensuously on his cheek, "It’s good to see you again, Seth." I raised my eyebrow and smiled seductively, squeezing his upper arm, then turned and walked back out to the sunroom being sure to sway my hips to the best of my ability.

"Kid sister, my ass," I mumbled under my breath. Of course, this all would have been much more invigorating for me if I had managed to keep myself from feeling the warmth radiating from his skin underneath the hand I had placed on his arm, or if I had been able to keep myself from wanting so strongly to kiss, not only his cheek, but his neck and lips, and even further south. However, the fact that I could feel his eyes on me as I walked out of the kitchen had me satisfied.

"You comin’ swimmin’ with us, Alexis? Seth’s takin’ us out on the boat in a few minutes." Brad seemed sweet, he wasn’t really my type, since he was blond-haired and preppy, but sweet, nonetheless, and really cute. It was nice to get the attention of one of my brother’s friends.

"Go put your suit on, sexy, let’s see what you’re like in the water." Okay, make that two of my brother’s friends except Greg seemed a bit bolder. Seth walked up behind me in time to have heard the comment his friend Greg had just made. Like Brad, Greg had blonde hair and brown eyes, but his features were much sharper, more angular and something about his messy designer appearance and general demeanor told me that most chicks approved of his appearance.

"Greg, you better watch it, she’s my ki—my sister," Seth paused, clearly flustered.

I turned around to face him, scowling, "You were going to say
kid
weren’t you? Have we learned nothing?"

"That may have worked before we met her, Seth, but she’s no kid anymore."

I changed my scowl to a viciously evil smile and winked at Seth audaciously before turning back to Greg, "You’re completely right, I’m certainly no kid, and as to what I’m like in the water, I guess you’ll just have to get me wet to find out."

With that, I turned around and headed upstairs to change. I don’t know what their reaction was, but I heard Seth say, "Shut up, Greg, before I deck you."

I aggressively shoved through my things to find the optimal swimsuit for such an occasion. I needed something that would really get to Seth—something that would further my goal in making him squirm. I would have to resort to the "retired" black bikini that I won the tiny wet bikini contest in. I dug around until I located it and found myself in a massive hurry to get back downstairs. I didn’t want to miss any opportunities to make Seth uncomfortable. I changed into my suit, threw on a black tank top, and tied a silver sarong around my waist. As I rushed downstairs, I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and ran my fingers through it.

Once we were on the boat, Brad was immediately at my side offering me a drink while Greg grabbed my arm and brought me to the back of the boat to sit down. We downed a few margaritas and took in some sun before our final guest boarded the boat… Seth’s fiancée. She was beautiful; I had to give him that. She was wearing a sundress, a big hat, sunglasses, her dark hair pulled back and cute sandals. She looked high maintenance and likely older than Seth. She also looked me over scrupulously when Desmond introduced us.

Seth leaned over the edge of the upper level and yelled, "Go ahead and have a seat out of the wind, honey, I’m going to take us out on the lake. Hang on everyone."

As the engines roared, it was a good opportunity to lean over to Desmond and ask for more details. "She doesn’t like the wind, but goes boating?"

Desmond didn’t answer, just smiled a "see what I mean" smile and went back to flirting with Christina. Brad and Greg were distracted staring over the edge at something suddenly entertaining. They were so engrossed in whatever it was that I decided to head to the upper level for a bit of "wind."

When I got up to the top, Seth seemed to be avoiding looking at me. He certainly wasn’t comfortable with me there.
Good!
I thought. "It’s windy up here. You may want to go back down below," he warned.

"I’ll be sure to let Brad and Greg know that. I know they’ll appreciate the tip." Hmm, this was not quite going where I wanted it to, time to change gears. Between the wind and the engines, I had to shout to be heard, so I moved closer to him.

"So, when do I get to learn how to drive this thing?"

He turned away from me and fiddled with something on the control panel, before turning back to me. "No one gets to drive my boat." He had a small smug smile spread across his lips, and it was the sexiest thing I had seen in years. My own emotions began choking me. It took a great deal of concentration for me to pull myself together. I cleared my throat.

"Never did play well with others, did you? Can’t you learn to share your toys?" I was trying to keep it lighthearted, but his next comment sucker-punched me.

"From what I’ve heard, you learned to
share
pretty well at college, guess you could give me some pointers." It was impossible to miss the crude meaning he placed behind the word "share," but I couldn’t figure out how he would know about my relationships. I mean, yes I slept with a few guys, but I could emphasize the word FEW, as in four, to be exact. What was it to him anyway
, he
didn’t want me?
Pull it together, Alexis. Don’t let him see that he can rattle you.