Reaching Out to the Stars (5 page)

Chapter 4

The Separation of the Universes

Is there a fine line between celebrities and their fans? Where exactly do celebrities stand with their fans? How much of themselves are they willing to give us? What can we expect from them? Why can’t we talk to them? Will we ever know the answers to these questions? Probably not, but we can explore the possible answers. Where we stand with our famed favorites is a much different story than where they stand with us, or is it?

It is true that some of us just want in on the “bling.” Although I cannot speak for our celebrities, I think it would be a fair guess to say that it is difficult for them because after they reach celebrity status, it is hard to know if someone is just interested in them for their money. In today’s world, you never know. I am sure there are many men and women out there that just want to marry a star so that they can be well off for the rest of their lives, live life in the fast lane and get lots of publicity by being in the limelight. Although being pampered and spoiled is sometimes nice, money is not everything. Although having money can make life easier, it is definitely not the most important thing and it does not buy happiness. The Beatles had it right when they sang, “Can’t Buy Me Love.”

Personally, for me, it is not about the money. I would never want to be rich, just comfortable. I really believe that having too much has a negative effect on people. I would never want a home with more rooms than I could use or a car that costs more than a college education. I would not change one thing about my lifestyle. The most important thing is just to be happy. I actually enjoy giving much more than getting. However, I would love to have my own recording studio to fulfill my passion for singing and music. Oh, and of course I would love my own physical trainer so that I could look like Britney Spears in her MTV Video Music Awards performance in the year 2000. Most of all, I will never give up the fantasy of having some kind of relationship with my idol, but how close is too close?

Not receiving a response to my letters bothered me more and more, and so I had an interesting conversation with my friend, Elizabeth, which started me thinking even more.

For the last few years, she had actually had an interesting relationship with someone in the music industry. It all started when she was online inquiring about her idol and came across an icon that said “Say hi.” Curious, she clicked on it and simply left a message that read, “Thank you for all the great music.” To her surprise, she actually got a response. From that point on, they were quite friendly. She had several conversations with him on email and in person while attending several of his shows. One day, she asked him to have a cup of coffee with her and he immediately put up a wall. It was as if the emails and personal conversations were fine, but once she took it a step further, it was an absolute no-no. Is there a law against having a cup of coffee with a fan or is that just too personal? Do celebrities fear getting too close to a fan? If there is chemistry or even the grounds for a solid friendship, why is this so wrong? What is crossing the line?

Anyway, Elizabeth told me to be happy that I never got a response to my letters and that things would be better off that way. She said that for whatever reason, they do not want to get personal with us and that we should not try to get personal with them. This was because through her experience, becoming close had led to nothing but her feeling crushed.

I remember our Aunt Carol and Uncle Tony taking Bryce and I on what was my first and only trip to New York City. I was so excited to visit the Big Apple. New York City is definitely the place where no one sleeps at night.

It has always been my dream to visit both New York City and California because both are affiliated with the stars. As I still await that trip to California, I was going to enjoy New York to its fullest.

In one night and two days, we toured most of the city. We even went on a horse and carriage ride through Central Park. It was really fun but I kept giggling on and off throughout most of the ride because for some reason all I could think of was that episode of Seinfeld when Kramer kept feeding the horse the baked beans. Yes, it is true, we live in a world where farts are funny and the farting horse to me was even funnier. I cannot understand people who do not find humor in comedians like Jim Carrey and Steve Carrell. It is important to be able to laugh at the simple things in life.

We also went to see Beauty and the Beast on Broadway. As I dressed up that night all in black wearing a hat, I felt like a movie star. I walked the streets of New York City and looked around just hoping to see one celebrity. Uncle Tony told me that I had probably walked by several of them but never would have known it because in reality, they are just like me. In truth, the thread that they used to make those $2,000 jeans is no different than the thread they used to make mine, Old Navy style.

I am assuming that the biggest issue is the difference in class and also living completely different lifestyles in almost completely different worlds. When do you ever see a celebrity befriend, date or marry someone other than another celebrity? It rarely, if ever, occurs. This is because it is so much easier to be with someone who naturally lives the same lifestyle, dare we blend the two.

Succumbing to some type of realism, no matter how hard it may be, we fans do have to take some accountability for the way we perceive the separation of the two universes. If we were to befriend or capture the heart of our most admired idol, would we actually be able to deal with and accept their way of life? We are not at all accustomed to that type of lifestyle; always on the road, missing out on quality time, never seeing some who are most important in life, giving up privacy and freedom, leaving behind family and friends, and perhaps even loneliness. Again, is it really the dream?

If I wasn’t married and got a chance to meet my idol and had an opportunity to have a romantic relationship with him, I’m not sure I could handle it. I would want his undivided attention all of the time and would not take it lightly when he would have to leave me behind, especially if there were children involved. The difficulty in never knowing what is really going on or not playing an active role in what we are accustomed to as the family life makes me wonder, would it ever last?

I have observed through magazines and entertainment news shows that many stars are either not married or have been married several times. If it is impossible to make a marriage work with someone within their own status, how can we be hopeful about the success in uniting two people of completely different worlds? Sometimes I think we want to be affiliated in some way with a star because we are somehow filling a void. In trying to fill that piece of something in our lives that seems to be missing, we try to live our dreams through their reality.

From another point of view, as we would like to live our dreams through their reality, could it be possible that maybe they would like to live their “old lives” through our reality, something they used to have that they occasionally miss? I continue to go back and forth about the whole fame thing. If I could ask a Hollywood star one question it would be, “which life is better, your old one or your new one?” Sometimes I think that everyone would just like to have their one week of fame and then go back to business as usual. I know that is just another dream, but I think that in truth, it is only the curiosity of the celebrity lifestyle that is so inviting to most people.

2003—New York City

Chapter 5

My Idol

What is an idol? One definition explains it as, “One that is adored, often blindly and excessively.”

My definition of an idol is not only someone that you adore blindly and excessively but someone you adore for one or more admired qualities, with whom you feel a connection with because of commonalities such as interests, morals and values. Although it is said that opposites attract, I think it is important to have someone in your life with whom you can relate.