Redemption (The Volkov Mafia Series Book 4) (13 page)

I’m getting harder with each movement of her hips. I have one hand clamped around her neck and the other travels down to the floaty skirt she is wearing. I grip her arse and pull her harder against me. She moans into my mouth as our kiss becomes frantic. I don’t care that we are in a car in the middle of the day. My need to have her sat on my cock takes over. She lifts up a little so I can undo the button of my jeans and wriggle them down enough to expose my cock.

“Oh God,” she breathes when she pulls away. “I need to feel you inside of me. I’ve been going fucking crazy.” Her words make me move faster. I pull my cock free, gripping the base, slowly moving my hand up and down. Her eyes never leave mine.

I let go of her neck and pull down the little tank top she is wearing, baring her tits to me. Fuck, her nipples are hard as fucking granite. I don’t wait. I clasp hold of one, giving it a gentle squeeze whilst wrapping my mouth around the other. Latching on gently, I graze the bud with my teeth. My other hand slips under her skirt, finding her pussy dripping wet for me. I move the fabric to one side and thrust two fingers deep inside, curling them forwards. I’m not slow or gentle with my motions. I want to bring her as close to the edge as possible before I impale her on my cock. Her moans are enough to drive any man to distraction. She is a fucking goddess, grinding her hips against me as my fingers fuck her. I feel her body tense as her orgasm looms ahead.

I pull my fingers out and rip her thong off in one swift move. My hands hold her hips as I thrust into her. The feeling of her warm pussy sliding down on my cock sends a renewed fire to my aching body. I want to hear her scream my name as she comes. I thrust harder and deeper, giving her everything I have. Her cunt squeezes my cock tight as she falls over the edge, screaming my name as she climaxes. Her pussy is still clenching my cock, and I let go.

I push up harder one last time, making sure she gets every fucking drop of my cum. She buries her head in my neck, her body still shaking from the aftermath. I pull her close to me and wrap my arms around her, content to have her here with me for a little while longer.

Chapter Thirteen

Emma

After straightening myself up, I flop back down on the passenger seat of the car. I needed that. It has been one hell of a night; the worry over Alek, the worry over Damien and Faith. Yesterday was spent walking around on eggshells and today has been no different. I can’t stand the friction this has caused and that I’m the one that is stuck in the fucking middle.

“So what’s your game plan to get out of this then?” I don’t care if he has just given me one of the best fucks of my life, until he tells me what he’s got planned I’m going to be a standoffish bitch. He deserves nothing less.

“I told you I had a plan, but first I need to ask you

something.” His voice drops an octave, and I hear the worry that’s hidden there.

“What do you need to ask me?” I throw at him. Now he’s got my back up; why on earth have I got to be questioned? I’m not the one who has just brought a shit storm to town.

“What did you feel when Vlad kissed you yesterday, because I knocked him the fuck out when he told me last night.”

I look at him, puzzled for a minute, then I realise what he’s just said. Vlad told him he kissed me. What the fuck! Why? Did he just want to rub salt in the wound? I didn’t think Vlad was like that.

“It felt like I was kissing my brother. It felt wrong, and I told him that as soon as he pulled away. He told me the same. I didn’t initiate the kiss, he did, and it took me off guard.” I tell him the God’s honest truth. I don’t take my eyes off his. I want him to know I mean every word.

“Oh thank God. I don’t think I would cope if I thought you had feelings for him.” His words make my heart split wide open. I see how vulnerable he is now. It hurts that I can’t help him more, that he wants to do this all by himself. I respect his courage to try though.

“Now we have that little dilemma out of the way, will you start talking now, Alek! Or so help me God, I’m going to beat your arse.” He chuckles at my words. The grin that spreads across his face is beautiful. The bruises that mar it will fade in a few days. He is still holding his left side a lot so I presume he’s hurting there as well.

“So, as you know I’m staying with Vlad to lay low and recover from the beat down I got, but don’t think I’m hiding, I’m not. I have a plan … I promised you no more gambling and I meant it when I said that. Things have changed. I have a reason to fight now, I have you. But Jonny wont back off, even if I did get him his money. He will try to make an example out of me and that’s just not an option, so I’m going to take him down before he takes me down.”  I tremble at his words. How the fuck is he supposed to do that?

“You’re not a fighter, Alek. Look what happened before, I don’t want to see you get hurt,” I plead with him.

“That’s exactly why I’ve got Vlad training me. I haven’t stopped in my recovery, I’m bigger and stronger now. I won’t stop until I know that the threat is gone. We can’t have this hanging over our heads if we want a life together.”

I see the passion in his eyes, but most of all I see the fear, of what I’m not quite sure. His hand grips the wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white from the strength. I gently lay my hand over his.

“I won’t ever be weak like that again. I will protect the people I love. I can’t lose anyone else, Emma, I can’t.”

I finally get it. This has been the most honest he has ever been without prompting.

A man takes great pride at being able to take care of his family, that if he is strong nothing can go wrong. They have to be the ones to provide. I get it, I really do, but we live in a world now where we have a justice system that should protect us. That the evil in the world get punished for their wrong doings. As naïve as that sounds I wish it was true. I know it’s not, and that’s why we have all these gang wars, prostitution, murder, drugs, because the police turn a blind eye to their dealings. They are paid to keep quiet and to let a lot slide, until it affects one of their own then they have to step up and take action.

“You won’t be.”

He releases his grip on the wheel and turns to face me.

“You’re all that matters to me now, Emma. You’re my new addiction.”

I melt at his words and tug him closer to me, letting my lips take his. I don’t have a response to that. How can I without either breaking his heart, or giving him false hope that everything is going to be ok, when right at this moment I don’t know if it will be? I let my tongue trace his closed lips. He relents and opens for me, allowing me the power over this kiss, letting me control how tender and slow I want it.

I pull away and just look at him. It shouldn’t be like this. We should be in the house in bed together, not like this. We should be able to get to know each other better. Oh, I know what you’re thinking, that we haven’t been together long. And you would be right. But I have known Alekzander Volkov for months, so you see, for me, it’s the intimacy that we are new to, not the workings of each other. I know how he takes his coffee. I know what his favorite food is. It’s the little things that make a relationship. Sex is just sex and, trust me, I would know that better than most.

“So what are you going to do about your brother?”

That’s the real question that’s been spinning around in my mind. I don’t want to think of Damien hurting him. His brother should be supporting him, not casting him aside like trash. Gamblers need an understanding approach, but Damien just can’t see it. He is blinded by the fear that he will have to step in and save his family again. But what is compassion if you don’t show it to the people who matter most? Then you’re just as cold as the person who showed you no compassion.

“I’m going to drive up to the house now and face him, Em. What else can I do? If I don’t go back, he will know that someone told me not to return, and I don’t want that coming back on you.”

That right there is compassion, to put someone else before yourself. Even though it scares me to death, I’m going to worry like mad every minute he is there.

“You know that it’s not going to go down well, don’t you? Don’t lie to him though if he asks you how long, just be honest with him.” He looks like a lost little boy, one who needs his mum to pick up the pieces and put him back together. It must be hard for him living with the guilt because he thinks he caused her death.

He didn’t ask to have an addiction. Could he have handled it better? Probably, but when you live so far in your own head and you get lost in the web that is weaved, it’s hard to come back from that on your own.

“I know. So, I suppose there is no time like the present.”

He starts the car and I panic. He can’t show up with me sat in the car with him, that would just rock the boat even more.

“You need to drop me back in the village and I will walk back up to the house. I can’t show up with you, Alek.”

He shakes his head at me. “Why can’t you just come with me?” How can he ask me this? He knows I can’t. It wouldn’t be right. I have the kids to think about. What would Faith and Damien do without someone to look after Anastasia? Or when Cami and Malc come over, who would watch Charlie so the girls can go out to lunch?  I want to go with him more than anything, but I’m torn. If I go with him then I risk losing Faith and Cami, and they have been nothing but kind to me since I arrived here. And Cami; the hours that we have spent talking about what happened, how she opened up to me about what she went through. That woman has balls of brass; I can’t ever imagine burying a child. I don’t think I would have the strength to come back from that. To live each day knowing that you will never know how they grow up or what they will be like, or even who they will take after. That is supposed to be the joy of parenting, that you get to experience everything. Not to have a taste then loose it.

But then Malc went and found her and brought her home. They got through their problems together, because that’s what couples do. You don’t have to fight your battles alone when you have someone who is willing to stand by your side and fight with you. That’s what love is. It’s not always the easy path, it’s not always the right path, but one thing’s for sure, it’s the only path you can follow.

And this is what’s making it even harder for me to grasp. I love Alek, and I want to fight his corner, but I’m not sure if it’s going to be enough to win the war that is coming.

“You know why, Alek. I can’t just forget everything they have done for me.” I don’t look at him. I can’t, because If I see the look I think is on his face right now, I will cave.

“You can’t let him hold this over you, Emma. You’re better than this. His help wasn’t given at a cost to you, it was given because you needed it. I may not see eye to eye with Damien right now, but I know that deep down he wouldn’t hold it against you if you did come with me.”

He holds the utmost respect in his words. I know he believes them with all of his being.

“You don’t get it, do you? How could you? It’s not just the thought of Damien and Faith. What if what we have isn’t enough, Alek? What if I leave with you right now and in a couple of months you get bored, or even worse fall back in to gambling again? Then what happens to me? I would have nothing or no one. My parents aren’t speaking to me. Damien, Faith and you are all I have. If I was to walk away, do you honestly think I could just turn up and say, ‘hey, sorry it didn’t work out’, and take my place right back where I left off?” I hold nothing back. I turn to look at him now I have said my piece. His face is a mask of blankness and I can’t read his emotions. It’s as if he hasn’t heard a single word I’ve said.

“Answer me god damn it, Alek!” I scold him like a petulant child.

“You think you’re the only one with them fears? I wake up every damn day asking myself the same fucking question. Why is she here? Why is she still wanting me? She is too good for me. But do you know what I do instead of running from it, or trying to prove the questions that are threatening to take control of me? I vow to try harder to be what you need. I’m in this one hundred percent, I told you that, but I see that you’re not. So you’re right, I think it’s best if you don’t come with me. I think I’m not the only one who has demons they need to fight first. When you stop thinking that you are a whore and start wanting to accept the love that is waiting to be given, give me a call.”

I’m sick to the back teeth of people telling me what I should be doing or how I should be feeling.

“Don’t hold your fucking breath, Alek, as you will be waiting a long time. Just stop the car and let me out here.”

In the time that has passed I don’t even realise we have been driving back towards the village. He pulls the car over, I unclip my belt and get out. I daren’t look at him. I slam the door so hard I think I might have just taken it off its damn hinges. He doesn’t get out, nor does he say anything as I start walking away. The only thing I hear is the sound of the engine as he drives off.

I start the mile walk back to the house. Well that didn’t end how I thought it was going to. Since we brought sex into the mix we have had two major blow outs. I don’t think we will come back from this one. We both said some things that we shouldn’t have said, hurtful things. Before I got out of the car, you could cut the tension with a knife, and to make things worse I think I have just angered the bull going into the china shop. Shit, the fireworks that will happen now are only going to be my fault.

This is why I stayed away from him. I was never worth the time or effort. He said it himself, I think of myself as a whore. Not worth the love of anyone now, let alone Alek.

I don’t want to be like this. If I’d had I choice I would have ran away as fast as I could, but I didn’t. Do you not think if I had the choice I would have gone home with my parents, met a nice boy and got married, and had the stable home with the two point four children that society seems to think is normal? I would have had the nice house and the time to love my life, but I don’t. Instead, I’m coming back from being a sex slave, and the majority of the time I loved it. That’s what’s fucked me up. I know it was wrong, but I couldn’t seem to tell my body that at the time. My mind would shut down while my clit enjoyed being used and abused.

This is why I can’t ever have normal, because normal to me now is just a fucked up version.

I speed up a little, trying to get back to the house as quickly as I can. I don’t know what I can do to try and calm the situation, but I have to try. I’m not sure it would be welcome, and I might lose the only people that seem to give a shit about me.

I have some money put away if I need to leave. And I will go if they want me to, but I won’t have Alek face this showdown alone. Everyone is against him. His addiction is not his fault. It is a condition that needs attention, an illness that needs the right course of treatment and the willpower to overcome it. But I learnt a long time ago, if you don’t have support then you won’t achieve it.