Redemption (The Volkov Mafia Series Book 4) (15 page)

“So now what, I’m not even a whore who is worth fucking? You know where the door is, Alek, don’t let it hit you on the way out.” She is pissed and hurt; I can see it in the way she is trying to use anger as a defense, shielding her body from me. Is this what we have become in the space of a few short hours? Only this afternoon she was in my car, bringing me to the height of ecstasy, loving the feel of her body wrapped around mine.

“Will you stop calling yourself a whore. You are not a fucking whore! What you went through was enough to destroy any person, but you came back fighting. I told you, I never meant what I said. If you can’t see that, then I’m not the only one who needs to sort their shit out, am I?” I don’t wait for her to reply. I turn on my heel, grab the bag from the foot of the door and walk away. I have to.

I go downstairs, heading straight for the front door. I don’t need to say goodbye to anyone, they all know I’m leaving. As soon as I lost that Poker match my fate was sealed. 

“You walk out of that door, don’t ever come back, Alekzander Volkov. This family will no longer be yours. Your niece will grow up only having one uncle. You will lose it all.” His voice is cold; I know that tone, I have gotten used to it. Every day I would hear it. It would taunt my days. I was never worthy enough to earn his respect, only a burden that he couldn’t shake. It ends now. I will no longer be the weak sibling they think I am. I will come back from this stronger than ever before. 

“I never had it to begin with,” I say to him, and close the front door as I leave.

I walk to the car, knowing that it’s mine. He can’t take that from me. I start her up and head straight back to the city.

This is my road to redemption. Now I just have to take it.

Chapter Fifteen

Vlad

3 weeks later

Well I suppose the time for change has come.

He came to me broken. He came to me wounded. He came to me looking for redemption.

We worked tirelessly on getting his strength back,

giving him shooting lessons, teaching him how to handle a rifle, how to clean and store correctly.

The days have flown by, and every day he gets better at fighting. When he first came to me he had power, but he was sloppy and slow. Now though, he is skilled and precise.

Tonight is the night that we are going to take Jonny Haynes out. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do; training Alek behind Damien’s back. Needs must, though. I want to find Anna, and if that means I have to train Alek, then so be it. For months I did everything Malc and Damien told me to do. No questions asked.

It’s what anyone would do if they have even the smallest chance at finding the one person they love. Then, as time passed, I realised that they wouldn’t be speeding up the efforts to locate her anytime soon.

Alek said that when he had his own crew and Jonny all taken care of, he would make looking for Anna his top priority. Well that day has finally arrived. Time to draw out the prey with some bait.

I wake to Daria cuddled in at the side of me. She is my world. I would give anything to make this little girl happy. And that means I have to do anything I can to find out what happened to her mum.

I stroke her light brown curls that sit at the nape of her neck. Her dark green eyes look up at my sleepy ones.

“Morning, Daddy,” she says to me. Her accent is as English as they come. I don’t speak Russian around her. It’s hard enough trying to keep her hidden and give her everything she needs, without adding to that list.

They say that having a child is supposed to be the happiest time of your life, and for those precious few months, it was. I would go to work, then come home and spend the evenings with my two best girls cuddled up on the sofa. It’s those moments that keep me going. I just hope we have that time again. One day. I know what you’re thinking, after all these years the chance of her being alive is pretty slim. I can’t lose hope. Not just for me but for Daria, too. I have to be hopeful for her sake.

My best memory of Anna is our third date. I took her to the park. I even made a picnic for her, something I wouldn’t do for just anyone. But I think I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on her that she was the one.

There was just this amazing air around her. She was kind, loyal, patient, caring, her qualities were endless. She was my everything.

I had made, or tried to make, one of her favorite cakes. Let’s just say it flopped in the middle and ended up looking like a doughnut. She giggled at me, and the twinkle in her eyes was what sealed it for me. She knew I tried hard and she didn’t rub it in that I had failed. She
said, “How can trying be failure?” I have tried to implement those words with Daria every day that Anna has been gone.

And it’s days like today that I know it has paid off, because right now the little girl looking up at me knows she should have been at school an hour ago. Instead of kicking off, she knows her daddy has failed, but sees that he needs something more right now. 

“Morning, Angel,” I say to her, pulling her closer to me, squeezing her tight. If today doesn’t go to plan, then I might not see her again.

I have a plan put in place for Daria. Should the worst happen to me, Miss Jayne is to ring my mother in Russia and stay with Daria until she arrives to take her back. I know my mother hates not seeing Daria every day like she used to, but I had to do what was best for her and me.  I also had to follow the trail of her mother. I couldn’t just abandon the idea and let her slip away without ever having tried.

“You want pancakes for breakfast, princess?” I ask her. I watch as her little eyes light up at the thought. She nods her head and rewards me with one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen.  Just like her mum. “Go, scoot out of bed then. Clean your teeth and get washed, and by the time you come downstairs your pancakes will be ready,” I whisper into the top of her curls.

“Yes, Daddy, yippee, pancakes. I must have been really good to get pancakes,” she says as she is jumping off my bed and running out of the door. Little does she know I just want my morning with her to be perfect. I want her to remember it if anything happens.

I rise out of bed and get dressed. I need to see Damien and do my work there until this evening. I must check in on Emma. She has been struggling a lot since she hasn’t seen Alek. I try to tell her that he is ok and doing great, but she says she already knows.

I hate to see her looking the way she does right now. Defeated. I have seen that look on many people’s faces in my time, and it normally means that they have hit rock bottom, that they are either going to do something silly or climb their way back up. I’m just hoping it’s the latter in Emma’s case.

I’m in the kitchen looking for the ingredients to make the pancakes: flour, eggs, milk and salt. I put everything into a bowl and stir. Putting a little oil into the frying pan, I wait for it to heat up then add the mix, creating my little girl’s favorite meal.

I finish plating up as she bounds into the kitchen. She jumps up onto the seat and starts tucking in. Alek wanders in from the living room and makes the coffee. He hands me mine and we both sip whilst watching

Daria.

Alek has been amazing with her. They have bonded so much over the last couple of weeks; he makes her smile and she makes him goofy. It’s a side to him that I only caught rare glimpses of when he was with baby Anya.

He helps her with homework and listens as she chats about her day, or even when she’s been to ballet, he listens. Never makes her hurry or makes her feel like her company isn’t wanted.

For that he has my respect and my loyalty. That is something I don’t give out easily. It took a lot for me to introduce Alek to Daria. She has been hidden away since she was little. Someday though, you have to take a leap of faith and hope that it pays off.

Every day, as soon as Daria is out of the door, he starts training. His attitude has changed so much; he is focused and driven in a way I have never seen him before, and he works hard to achieve perfection in whatever I teach him. His appetite has improved. Alek eats every couple of hours and spends a lot of his time in the home gym, making his body his best weapon. And he has done it. Yesterday was testament to that.

We went one-on-one, and after a good twenty minutes of going at each other without either one of us taking the other down, he saw an opportunity and took a chance. That’s what a predator does. God help anyone who stops him seeking what he wants.

We drop Daria off at school and head towards the dock where we know Jonny’s yacht is moored. Alek is going to scope out the place for later, while I meet with Malc to get today’s jobs out of the way. Then tonight, the plan really comes together.

“Right, do you have your gun?” I ask him, wanting to make sure that he is prepared, because if he gets caught then the plan will quickly change. If, when I come back, he is not in the same place where I drop him off, I will know that Jonny has him. Then I have to go with plan B.

“Yeah, I have my gun. I won’t need it until you get here. I have no intention of them finding me. We need to do this. I need to know what we are up against and how much security he will have around him tonight.”

“You got this. We have looked over this plan for over a week, scoping the place out, how many people come, and how many leave.” I pull the car up near the dock, watching as Alek steps out and makes his way to the safe hiding spot we’ve picked out.

I pull out onto the road just as my phone starts ringing. I look down at the number and see Malc’s name flash across my screen. I am about to answer, but before I can even say ‘hi’, Malc’s booming voice sounds via the car’s Bluetooth.

“Vlad, how long until you arrive? he asks me. “We have a busy day ahead.”

“Be with you in five.” I don’t have time to say anything else as he hangs up.

I continue to drive around London heading towards Malc. Today is going to change things for the better or worse. I’m just not sure yet which one.

*****

Emma

I hate him! I love him! Right at this moment in time I’m not sure which one I believe most. I’m having an internal war with myself, and his daily texts are not helping.

He is telling me about his recovery, that he is training hard to try and sort this mess out so that we can be together.

But after the way things were left, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It hurt so much to hear him say those things to Faith. I have never been one to let what people say bother me, yet when it comes from someone who is supposed to love you, it hurts like hell. I thought hearing what my mum and dad said, hurt, but when he said that I meant nothing to him, that I was just a nice, easy fuck, it killed me. So I did the only thing I could when he came to apologise. I acted like the whore that everyone thinks I am. With every harsh word spewing out of my mouth, I could see that I was crushing him. I didn’t care, I wanted him to suffer as much as he had made me suffer.

*****

The weeks have dragged by, and the only comfort I have found is looking after the children. Damien has been quiet with me. I think I’m a reminder of why his brother went off the rails again. Maybe I am. Maybe Alek wasn’t ready for a relationship so early on in his recovery. If only I had kept my thoughts to myself, then we might not be in this mess.

Camilla has been a gem for me these past few weeks. We have grown really close. She understands what it’s like to love someone who you know is bad for you. That whatever you do, you can’t give up like she did. They got there in the end but it took time. Time that they both missed out with each other, and time that Malc missed with Charlie.

I know what we are going through is nothing like what they experienced. But I know I have someone willing to help me, someone who understands that I’m finding this really hard to deal with. I thought I had left that part of me behind, however, no matter what I do it will always come back to haunt me.

Three days ago I got a text from Alek asking for my help. He said that I needed to be down at the docks tonight, that there is some party I must attend. I wasn’t sure why until Faith and Cami came strolling in with dresses for me to try on. They said we were going to an exclusive party on a yacht, and Lilly was going to have the children so that we could all go out.

I agreed to go, not knowing if it was because Alek had asked me, or if it was because of Faith. I replied, telling him I would be there.

I’m still waiting to hear from him. Right now I’m being primped and pruned. My body feels as soft as silk, my hair is done to perfection, and my make-up is flawless. I’m just waiting to slip on the red dress that the girls picked out for me. The silver shoes and clutch that accompany it look like something Cinderella would wear, certainly not made for trash like me.

We have to leave in an hour for the party and it’s a forty-minute drive back to London. Well, that’s if the traffic is ok. Damien has ordered a car to take us there and to return us home at the end of the evening.

I stand up and pull the dress from the hanger. I ease it over my head, noticing the way it glides over my body effortlessly. If this is how dressing up makes you feel, then I won’t say no.

Standing in the full-length mirror, I take stock of the way I look. I don’t think I have ever looked at myself in quite so much detail before. Now, I don’t see a whore, I see a girl that is ready for a party with her friends.  My hair is shiny, my eyes are smoky, and the red dress hugs every curve I have. I look like a fifties pin-up model, with tiny hips and a waist that any man can get hold of.  Even my lips look good enough to taste, and with that thought, I turn away from the mirror, grab my clutch off the bed and head out to meet everyone else. I’m not even sure why they want me there, but I suppose I’m about to find out.

I hope they don’t use me to their advantage.