Rediscovering Peace (Military Love Book 1) (21 page)

“Oh God, baby. I am so sorry. I swear to you I will go talk to my counselor. I’ll see if I can change my meds. I can’t let this happen again. Until I have figured this out I will sleep in the guest room. I am not putting you at risk.”

“Braden James Parker, stop right there. You have been doing so good with your nightmares. This was the first time in a long time that you had them. This,” she said pointing at her face and I cringed at the sight. “This is nothing. Shit happens. I know you have demons and I am willing to take the risk. I will not sleep separated from you. Not now. Not ever. You belong here with me in this bed. I want to go to your counselor with you. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”

Where in the world did this amazing woman come from? She deserved so much better than me but I was happy she wanted nobody else but me. I vowed right then never to take her for granted.

“Baby, you shouldn’t have to sleep next to someone who doesn’t know if the nightmares will come back that night. I don’t want to hurt you again, hell, it shouldn’t have happened the first time.”

“I don’t care, Braden. Remember when I told you I was done running? I meant it. That means I will support you when it gets tough as well. You are staying here in this bed with me. Our bed. End of story. Now let’s try to get some more sleep.”

She pulled me close to her and soon she was quietly snoring. I was too scared to fall back asleep so I just laid there watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful even with what just happened. After a few hours I got up to take a shower. The nightmare was still lingering in the back of my head. I just wished I could get rid of the images of my soldiers. I had felt so helpless when it all happened. If only I would’ve listened to PVT Madison, things could’ve gone differently. It was my fault that he and Warner were dead. It didn’t matter how many times my counselor told me there was nothing I could’ve done, there had been. I could’ve turned around. I felt Skye get in behind me and she wrapped her arms around me.

“I hate waking up and you’re not in bed with me,” she grumbled.

“Sorry, babe. I didn’t want to wake you. You were sleeping so peacefully.”

“Are you okay? Are we okay?”

“Of course we are okay, sweetheart. Don’t ever doubt that. I am making an appointment today and I will let you know the details when I have them. It means a lot that you want to go there with me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Well, you won’t ever have to find out. I am not going anywhere. I am in this for the long run. Are we still going to see your dad tonight?”

“If you’re still up for it. I haven’t gone to see him in over a week. I need to check up on him.”

“I am going to ask Caige to give me a ride to work. That way you can just come and pick me up whenever you’re done with work. Now get out of here so I can get ready for the day. We have a new guy starting today so I have to get in early and prepare the training. Like I don’t have enough to do already.”

“Okay, baby. Have a good day at work. I will be thinking about you.”

“Me too. I love you.”

“I love you too. Always.” I looked at her. Luckily her cheek wasn’t bruising – it was just a little red. I felt guilty enough as it was I really didn’t want her to be bruised up.

I put on my uniform and drove to the base. I couldn’t wait to put this chapter behind me and start a new one with Skye. The army had been my escape for the last eight years but now that I had her back I wanted to be home with her every night rather than being in the field for weeks at a time. I was early and saw that Seth was already here too. He was sitting in his car, and I decided it was finally time to find out what had happened between him and Faith.

I opened the passenger door of his SUV and slid into the seat.

“Morning, Seth. You’re here early.”

“I haven’t slept all night. Krystal and I got into it last night and she ran out on me. So I spent all night looking for her making sure she wasn’t doing anything stupid. Well I finally found her about an hour ago at her parents’ house.”

“Why the fuck are you still with her, Seth? You guys are miserable with each other.”

“Do you think I don’t know that? Every time I bring up divorce she threatens to fucking kill herself. It’s not that easy. Fuck. I hate my life.” He slammed his fists down on the steering wheel.

Wow. I had known that Krystal was a bitch but I didn’t know she was playing him like this. I had seen her at the mall the other day with some of her friends and she looked like she was happy. Sure, you could never see when someone was depressed, but I had a feeling that Krystal was just using it against Seth. Why, I didn’t know.

“To make it worse, I completely fucked up with Faith.” That piqued my interest, something really had happened.

“What do you mean?” I asked casually.

“The other night I asked her to dinner with me. As friends of course. I can’t explain it but there is something about her. I want to spend every minute of every day with her making her happy. But I am married. Anyways, we went out to dinner and had a great time. I didn’t want the night to be over yet so we went to the fair. She had powdered sugar on her cheek and when I went to wipe it away I almost kissed her. I came to my senses and pulled away. The hurt in her eyes when I rejected her still haunts me.

“Well I drove her home and she said something about just having fuck buddies. I got so angry. Why is she selling herself short? She deserves a guy who worships her. I told her as much. One thing led to another, we kissed, and she pulled me into the apartment and her bedroom. Well you can imagine the rest. But the chicken shit that I am, I waited till she was asleep and sneaked out. Fuck. I know she feels something for me too. But Krystal... I am so fucked.”

“What the fuck, Seth? You slept with Faith? You are fucking married!! I don’t care that you’re not happy but you should’ve never put Faith in that situation. That explains everything. You know, she is dating this guy Jordan now. You want to know something else? She is not fucking happy. Apparently that’s her way of trying to get over what happened.”

“Wait! She’s dating someone?”

“Yes she is.”

“Fuck. I pushed her to this. God. I just hope he treats her right.”

“What is wrong with you? You need to get your shit together and dump Krystal. I think she’s feeding you lies to keep you around.”

“You don’t understand, Parker.”

“You’re right. I don’t. I don’t understand how you can be with someone who you’re not happy with. What I do understand is that what you feel with Faith – you only get that once in your life. So either you get your head out of your ass and fight for her or you stay in that terrible marriage and suffer for the rest of your life. Just know one thing – if you so much as look at Faith while you’re still married, I will beat your ass. You might be my best friend, but she’s like a sister to me and I will be damned if I let you hurt her again.” With that, I got out of the car and waited for my guys to show up for formation.

The day dragged as I waited to be released and to pick up Skye. I had talked to my counselor and had gotten an appointment for the following week. I was nervous as hell. Skye knew of what had happened, but I had spared her the details. I was scared that she would leave me once she knew the exact demons that I was facing every day. Yes, my nightmare had died down in the last couple of months, but the images were still there, reminding me every day of my mistake.

Finally it was time to leave and I headed to Skye’s office. I had called her and let her know that I would be there soon, so when I arrived she was already standing outside. By the look on her face she had had a rough day as well. She jumped into the passenger seat and smiled at me lightly. Something was up.

“Hey, baby. How was your day?”

“Ugh. This new guy is such an asshole. He thinks he already knows everything and barely listens to what I say. And he is sort of creepy.”

“What do you mean he is creepy?”

“I don’t know. I just have a weird feeling about him. If he stares at my tits one more time I might just punch him.”

My hands balled up into fists. Skye shouldn’t be subjected to someone staring at her as if she was some piece of meat. I would have to have a talk with the guy.

“Calm down, Braden. I can see you getting angry. I shouldn’t have said anything, I am sure I am just overreacting.”

“Baby, I always want you to come to me when you don’t feel comfortable. It is my job to protect you.”

“I know and I really appreciate it. If it gets worse I will let you know.” I knew she was keeping something else from me. She was playing with her hair again. I wanted to pummel this guy in to the ground. I really hoped she would come to me if he approached her wrong.

“I talked to Seth today.” I needed to change the subject before I turned around and beat the shit out of her new coworker.

“And? Were you able to get anything out of him?”

I filled her in on my conversation with Seth and now it was her turn to get angry.

“What a dickwad! He slept with her and then disappeared? Oh, I am going to kick his ass when I see him. It’s his fault that Faith is dating a guy that she isn’t happy with. Fuck. What a mess.”

“You can say that again. I wish there was something I could do. I should’ve never introduced them.”

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known. I am mad at her too. She should’ve known better than sleeping with a married man. You would think what I went through would’ve taught her a lesson. I can’t believe she was okay with being the other woman. I feel like I don’t know her anymore.” Sadness was written all over Skye’s face. The actions of her best friend were hurting my girl. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her about what happened.

“Sweetheart, they are adults. They are responsible for their actions. Trust me, I don’t appreciate what happened either and I pretty much threatened Seth’s life if he ever looked at Faith again. Well for as long as he is married. There is something between him and Faith, and I really hope he opens his eyes and fights for her. They deserve happiness, both of them.”

We pulled up to my dad’s house and it was a horrific sight. The grass hadn’t been cut in a while and the house needed some work. The wood of the porch was withering away and desperately needed to be replaced. I had offered to do it but my dad refused any help from me. He worried me a lot.

“Before we go inside, I have to warn you. Dad tends to get hurtful lately. Whatever happens please remember that he does love you but he just isn’t his old self.

“No problem, I am sure it will be okay.”

We walked up to the house and I opened the door with the spare key I had. I had to hold my breath at the smell that was flooding my senses. It smelled like alcohol, cigarettes and vomit. I looked back at Skye and saw that she was covering her nose.

“Dad? It’s me. I have a surprise for you,” I called out while walking around looking for my dad. I found him in the living room. He was passed out on his recliner. The whole room was covered in alcohol bottles. The ashtray was overflowing with cigarette butts and Dad looked like he hadn’t showered in days. I shook him to wake him up and after about five minutes he finally opened his eyes.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, son?”

“You were unresponsive, Dad. Your pulse was so weak I almost called 911. What happened here? It hadn’t looked like this when I was here last week? Did Martha not come by?”

“I fired her. I don’t need anybody cleaning up behind me. I am a grown man.”

“Well maybe you should fucking act like one then. You reek of alcohol and from the smell of it you haven’t showered in days. It’s disgusting. Do you think Mom would want you to live like this?” I gestured around the room. My dad’s eyes followed my movements and his eyes fell on Skye, who was leaning against the door frame just observing.

“Is that? Is that really you? Skye, I thought I would never see you again,” my dad said in surprise. I had told him that we were back together but he was always so drunk he didn’t remember what I told him half the time.

“Yes, it’s me, Dad... umm... Mr. Parker.”

“Oh, babygirl, you can still call me Dad. I have missed you, sweet girl. Braden here should’ve never let you go.”

“Thank you, Dad. He didn’t have much of a choice. I walked out on him.”

“Well I am just glad he found you.”

“Me too. Umm... Dad?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Braden is right you know? Olivia wouldn’t want you to waste your life like this. She would be very upset if she saw what you are doing to yourself. I didn’t really believe it when Braden told me what is going on, but looking around – it is very obvious that you need help. I know your loss hurts, but you can’t give up on life. You have to keep living, for her.”

I watched my dad’s expression and was ready to jump in if he was going to be hurtful to Skye. But what happened next blew me away. My dad was crying. I had never seen my old man cry.

“I know she wouldn’t want this, but it is so hard you know? Every morning I wake up and hope it’s all just a dream and I will get up and find her in the kitchen cooking breakfast like she did every morning. But she’s never there. She’s gone. She was everything to me. I took her for granted. Now that she’s gone I can’t seem to move on. I know I need help. Where do I start? She had always taken care of me. I don’t even know how to function without her.”

“We are here to help you, Dad. Braden and I are not going anywhere. Let’s get you up to take a shower first and then we will call around and see what we can do to get started, okay? Braden, will you help your dad to the bathroom?”

I looked at her stunned. I had no idea how she had managed to convince my dad that he needed help in a matter of minutes. I had tried for years to get him to see someone.

“Sure, come on, Dad.”

“I can get there myself,” he grumbled and got up, but he was so weak he immediately fell back in his chair. My dad was only fifty years old but he had aged so much since Mom’s death. He looked like he was going on seventy. I grabbed him under his arms and stood him up. He put his arm around my shoulders and let me lead him to the bathroom. I ran a bath for him. I knew he wouldn’t be able to stand up in the shower.