Renewed Faith (CSA Case Files 3 / Military Romance) (26 page)

“Suck it up,” Elle muttered to herself, ignoring that her nipples were protruding underneath her tank top. She went about tying her pajama pants while giving herself a little more time to cool off. “If he can go without, so can you.”

What was with that shit anyway? Was there a reason they couldn’t consummate their relationship? She knew he wanted them to get to know each other better, but at this rate she’d catch fire and die. From what she saw five nights a week in the club, no one else seemed to have this issue with their men. Her thoughts went to Emily and Lauren. Maybe she would ask them their advice. Tomorrow was perfect, since Lauren had asked if she wanted a ride to the hospital to visit Emily and the baby. Feeling better and even a little emotionally lighter, Elle finally took a deep breath and exited the bathroom.

“Keep me posted on what you find.” Kevin held his cell phone to one ear while walking toward the kitchen. He was shirtless once again, with the top of his jeans unbuttoned. She almost missed his motion, asking if she needed anything. Elle shook her head, wondering what he’d think if she tried to cover him up. If he was going to hold out on her sexually, it wasn’t fair that he kept tempting her. “I’ll be in the office in the morning, but I can stop by the station before noon. I have a call into Max regarding Hash as well. If the DEA has the little shit in their sights, they should have known he was trolling around Elle. All right. See you then.”

“Taggart?” Elle had yet to meet the officer officially heading up the investigation. He wasn’t a member of the club and though Kevin spoke highly of him, they didn’t seem to hang out after business hours. “I take it you told him about Bee and Hash?”

“Yes.” Kevin placed his mug in the sink and then walked her way. Reaching for her hand, Elle didn’t think twice to place her hand in his. “But I don’t want you to worry about Bee right now. We’re taking a little walk.”

“A walk? I just got ready for bed.” Kevin’s suggestion threw Elle by surprise, but she still followed him to the door. “Wait. Don’t you need a shirt?”

“Not that kind of walk.” Kevin led her to the door and pulled her through, turning to close it. She tried to warn him that she didn’t have her access card when he patted his left back pocket of his jeans. “I want to get to know you better and I have just the way to do that. Trust me.”

Trust him. Two words that sent her heart racing, but she’d jumped off the bridge by telling him what scared her most not a couple hours ago. As he kept leading her down the stairs and into the darkened club, it wasn’t just her heart that was being affected. Desire spiked and she swore to herself that she’d have to kill him should he not do what she wanted to.

“Stay right here.” The words practically purred from Kevin’s throat and Elle was more than willing to do what he requested. He went about turning on the lights, although the main lamps throughout the club were a dim golden hue that centered mostly on the play areas. He left the bar encased in darkness and was by her side within moments. She didn’t have long to wait for him to explain what he was doing and she squeezed her legs together in anticipation while her breath was stolen from her lungs in trepidation. “You and I are both aware of our affinity for the lifestyle, but seeing as we’re both somewhat new to the ways things are done, we’ll take it step by step. While you have your fears, don’t think I don’t question every word I say or action I take. I want to erase any reservations so that I can give you what you need. Can you trust me to do that?”

Elle looked up at him in surprise, never having known he felt like he was walking on eggshells around her. Kevin never showed doubt and she was coming to realize that it was his self-assurance that was carrying her further into this relationship by the day. If what he said was true, then any more confidence would have her on her knees in front of him. Which was technically where they both wanted her to be. Could she handle what came next?

“Yes.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

“T
ell me what you see.”

Kevin stood directly behind her, his bare chest against her back. She felt his heat through her thin tank top and his skin that touched the flesh on the back of her arms was distracting. He asked her a question when all she wanted was to feel him touch her. The palms of his hands practically blistered her shoulders.

“Um, the St. Andrew’s Cross?”

“That was a question.”

“Kevin, I work here.” Elle caught her breath when Kevin’s fingers trailed down her arms and encircled her wrists. She waited for him to do something, anything, but nothing happened. “I know this place by heart.”

“What I know is that you’re going to experience that spanking bench and it won’t be for pleasure,” Kevin murmured, his voice vibrating in her ear. Elle tilted her head slightly, savoring the sensations. “You’re a puzzle, city girl. One moment I’m pushing too hard and fast. Another, I’m going too slow. You know what I’ve decided?”

Again, the underlying dominant tenor of his rich voice felt like glaze being applied to her delicate flesh in slow brush strokes. Her mouth had gone dry and there seemed to be butterflies on the loose in her stomach or she’d have responded to the question. As it was, she closed her eyes and waited for him to answer.

“I’ve decided to take the reins, starting now. There will be no testing my will in the morning, there will be no pouting when I suggest that we spend the night getting to know one another better, and you will not seek release unless it’s by my hand. Your pleasure equals my pleasure. That’s what makes me happy.”

Elle’s eyes flew open and she would have spun on her bare heel had he not tightened his fingers on her wrists to hold her in place. How the hell had he known what she was thinking? He hadn’t been in the bathroom with her and he wasn’t a mind reader. She couldn’t say that him taking charge in the bedroom was anything less than what she truly wanted. Before, being paid, she’d been the one who had to entertain. It wasn’t just handing over control that seemed to consume her and Kevin seemed to know or else he wouldn’t have said her pleasure was what made him happy. A sliver of fear ran up her spine that this was too good to be true, but was quickly erased when he released her wrists and placed one hand around her throat and one hand low on her abdomen. The secure way he held her made her feel protected.

“Now look at the St. Andrew’s Cross, but don’t say a word.”

Elle did as he asked, not understanding why they were doing this. She looked at the black X covered in smooth black leather. It was sitting on a stage surrounded with black velvet rope slung between antiquated brass poles. The wrist and ankle cuffs hung from a link, waiting for a submissive to restrain. She could practically feel the soft fur on her skin.

“Do you see the bondage table? Imagine yourself spread eagle and blindfolded, awaiting my touch. What do you crave? Feathers…fire…wax?” Elle parted her lips to answer, but his low growl abruptly stopped her. Why did that affect her so? “Not a word until I give you permission.”

“Look at the suspension beam and visualize yourself poised above with your movements limited to what I deem necessary.” Kevin gracefully moved her slightly, so that the third play area was directly in her sights. Elle had witnessed countless submissives being suspended from that beam and she had often wondered what it would feel like. “I wouldn’t allow you to hang from there without some type of decoration. I know of someone who will adorn nipple and clit clamps with the most stunning chocolate diamonds money can buy. Just think of how the color would complement your eyes.”

With each play area Kevin pointed out, Elle’s body responded and she knew that if he were to cup her mound, he would find that her panties were soaking wet. Her nipples throbbed as the blood rushed to the tips and her breasts felt fuller. Why he wasn’t touching her in the places where she wanted it most frustrated her, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to experience any of the BDSM furniture quite yet. She had no doubt that’s where she would end up should she speak and the prospect alone excited her to an extreme level.

“The stocks in the next area will hold your top half secure while I have your bottom half to pleasure. Or flog. Or cane. I guess it would depend on what we would be using that piece of equipment for, but I can guarantee that your nipples would have small weights on them so your breasts aren’t forgotten.”

Had Elle had the slightest interest of being a Domme, she would have spun around and ordered him to have sex with her right then and there. But there wasn’t a bone in her body that screamed dominant when it came to sex and his words only seemed to melt said bones. She was relatively sure he was now holding her up by his body. His rigid cock outlined by the heavy denim lying perfectly in the crevice of her ass told her that he wasn’t unaffected. He went on to point out the other areas, those with beautiful gold cages to hold a submissive, a Sybian horse to be used in multiple ways, and a free stage to be used in any way a Dominant saw fit.

“Look,” Kevin whispered in her ear, his warm breath causing havoc with her senses. He moved her body just so, giving her the perfect view of the spanking bench he’d mentioned multiple times. Elle immediately pictured herself over the soft black leather, her arms and legs strapped tightly to the sides while her ass and pussy were exposed to his view. “Do you know what this little experiment showed me?”

Experiment? Elle was still trying to control her body and biting the inside of her cheek to keep from begging him to have sex with her. She wasn’t quite sure what he was referring to, but couldn’t prevent a little swivel of her hips to let him know she was ready for more of whatever he had in mind.

“Every time you looked at something that would bind you, your heartbeat sped up.” Kevin traced a finger down the side of her neck, showing her how he knew that. When his hand pressed further into her abdomen, Elle knew what he was going to say next and her face flushed in his precision. “If I mentioned restraints, your muscles contracted. Are you wet, Elle? Would I be able to take you right now?”

“Yes.” Kevin would be able to take her now with no other foreplay required. Elle’s body was strung to the breaking point and although she tried to turn around and face him, he wouldn’t allow it. “Please, Kevin.”

“Do you know what it was like for me to watch you manage this club and have men and women lust after you? I couldn’t touch you, I couldn’t socialize with you, and I couldn’t claim you.” Kevin’s harsh tone was like biting glass hitting the memories he pulled up and she could only listen. “I lusted after you for a year and could only protect you from afar. Yet you casually waltz into a setting that would place you exactly in the same situation I tried to keep you from. At first, I thought it best to take things slow. Now I see what I have to do to cement the beginning of our relationship. And mark my words, city girl, this is a no holds barred kind of relationship. Total honesty and open to vulnerability…on both of our parts. I won’t have it any other way.”

The more Kevin described the way things were going to be and the longer he carried out this conversation, Elle finally understood that the entire time they’d known each other was just a preface to this time and place. She wasn’t one to believe in fate, but if anyone were to ask her at this moment, she would have declared it existed. Understanding this led her to the realization that she needed to live one day at a time and not worry about the future. It was how she could protect herself should all of this disappear. She could give him what he asked for as long as it was day to day.

“We start now.” Kevin released her, which sent a chill over her heated skin. She startled in surprise when his fingers slipped inside her pajama pants and slid them down her legs. “Step out, one leg at a time.”

Elle bit her lip, lifting one foot and then the other. She glanced over her shoulder at the door and for a brief second, wondered if someone might stop by the club. Although she didn’t have to worry about Jax or Emily, Connor or Lauren were prone to stopping in.

“Something you want to ask me?” Elle looked down to see Kevin’s hungry gaze taking in every inch of her. If she told him she was worried about being caught playing in the club, would he put a stop to everything? That was the last thing she wanted, yet if she could just call a timeout to contact Lauren, then Elle would be assured they wouldn’t be caught in the act. “You said you could trust me. Do you?”