Authors: Lauren Crossley
“I…”
I stumble over my words, leaving my sentence unfinished.
“Don’t
act like you haven’t seen me before.” He chuckles, bemused by my expression and
my hesitance to touch him.
I’m
left speechless, stunned and entranced by the sight of the magnificent man I’m
in love with. He’s completely naked in front of me and all I can do is stare. He’s
breathtakingly handsome, an Adonis with a phenomenal physique and athletic
build.
Perfection.
“It’s…
it’s just been so long.” I point out, wondering if Zack still finds me
desirable.
“So
let me refresh your memory.”
Our
lovemaking is passionate. It’s frenzied, rough and desperate. I cling to him
because I’m terrified he’ll vanish, leaving me alone with the torment of being
without him.
The
heat from his body pours into mine, igniting the fire which still burns for him
deep inside me. It’s the same fire I tried to extinguish two years ago when I
left him, the one I’ve tried fighting for years.
Except
I can’t fight it anymore.
His
thrusts increase as he pins me to the bed beneath him, turning my face so he
can kiss my lips. I moan as his tongue slips in my mouth, swirling with my own
as they meet.
It’s
extremely erotic now that I can feel Zack deep inside of me but I still need
more… I need everything from him but don’t know how to ask.
My
hips meet his own, matching his rhythm as my legs wrap around his waist. I want
to be as close to him as possible, savouring each second now our warm bodies
are connected.
“
More
.”
I beg him, grazing his earlobe with my lips.
“You
want more?” He teases, deliberately antagonistic. “Then take it.”
“Yes!”
I cry, forgetting about my volume.
“I
could fuck you forever.” He growls, squeezing the sensitive skin on my thighs.
“You’re mine.”
“I
am
yours.” I concur, surprising myself by my own admittance.
“I
won’t let him touch you again.” He says fiercely, cradling my face in his hands.
“I
don’t want him to. All I want is you.”
My
assurances encourage him, accelerating his speed as well as the hungry desire
that he has for me.
“This
tight little pussy is mine and it always has been.” He pants breathlessly, no
longer holding back. “Now come for me. Come all over me.”
His
instructions are impossible to ignore and I do just that… reaching our climax
together.
Afterwards,
I lie awake for hours. There’s a small gap in my curtains which allows the moon
to peep through, illuminating my bed and Zack’s silhouette beside me.
He’s
fast asleep but my heart is still racing, dreading what we must face tomorrow.
However, there is a small part of me which looks forward to it. As messed up as
that sounds, I can’t help it.
Tomorrow
symbolises hope.
It
symbolises a new beginning.
Tomorrow
is my future…
Chapter Fourteen
I
wake up the next morning to the sun streaming in through my bedroom window. My
bed is empty and there’s no sign of Zack.
I
sit up in bed, clutching the quilt to my chest as my heart starts pounding.
He’s
gone.
“Zack?”
I call out, praying to God that he’ll walk in any moment and hasn’t left me.
“It’s
ok, I’m here.” He assures me, entering the bedroom with a breakfast tray in his
arms.
“I-I
thought you’d gone.” I confess, stumbling over my words.
“I’m
sorry.” He apologises, joining me on the bed. “I just thought you looked so
peaceful when I woke, I didn’t want to disturb you while I made breakfast.”
“You
didn’t need to do any of this but thank you.”
We
share the food which Zack prepared for me and make idle chit chat until we’re
both finished. He eventually turns to face me, resembling someone who has some
bad news to share.
“Sam,
I have to go back today.” He reveals, appearing disappointed and deflated by
the idea of leaving.
“Why
do you?” I ask, disappointment washing over me.
“There’s
a few reasons but mainly because of Amber. Rachel tried calling me during the night
and I’ve only just seen her missed calls. She phoned to tell me that Amber isn’t
very well and has some sort of temperature, Rachel’s really worried.”
“And…
what’s the other reason?” I enquire hesitantly, somewhat reluctant to find out.
“My
parents and Aaron.” Zack concludes, tucking a few strands of my hair back
behind my ear. “They’re all staying in a hotel nearby, the same one I was in before
I turned up here last night.”
“I
don’t understand… why are your family here?”
“It’s
my parent’s wedding anniversary this weekend and they asked me and Aaron to go
away with them to celebrate. Anyway, I made some excuse as to why I couldn’t
stay with them last night but now they’re wondering where I am. I made a couple
of phone calls while you were asleep and they want me to pick them up on my way
back to check on Amber. They’re worried about her too and want to be there if
she needs to go into hospital or anything.”
“Is
it that serious?”
The
thought of this innocent little girl being ill is alarming. I’ve no idea how
Zack is managing to stay so calm when he knows something might be wrong with
her. I’m also feeling guilty, haunted by the knowledge that I left him because
of her. I’ve spent the past two years pretending that she doesn’t exist and now
she’s poorly. I feel terrible but don’t know how to express any of my shame or
how sorry I am for what I did.
“I
don’t know yet.” He sighs, rubbing the centre of his forehead. “Rachel has a
tendency to worry and she can be a bit overprotective at times. I really need
to head back and check on her though.”
“That’s
fine.” I assure him, wanting to convince him it’s the right thing to do.
“I
want you to come with me but I know it’s not the right time yet. There’s things
I need to sort out and I know you feel the same.”
“I
do
need to talk to Ian.” I groan, dreading the thought of that
conversation. “I don’t want to lie to him anymore.”
“I
want to be here when you tell him, I don’t want you to deal with this on your
own.”
“I
have
to do this by myself and you need to be with Amber. I can do this,
Zack. I promise you.”
“What
if he hurts you? What if he gets angry with you and I’m not here?” He
challenges me, striding across the bedroom towards my wardrobe. “You’re coming
with me, Sam. I’m not leaving you alone.
I
scramble off the bed, positioning myself right in front of him. I can see how
uneasy he is about leaving me to deal with this by myself but also know he has
to be there for his daughter.
“You
can’t protect me from everyone and everything.” I remind him, taking hold of
his hand.
“Can’t
I?”
“It’s
just not possible and besides… Ian is a good man. He would never hurt me.”
“Are
you sure about that?”
“Yes!
Now please go and get ready so you can see your daughter.”
Zack
is ready to leave in an hour, still complaining about having to head back and
reluctant about leaving me behind.
“I
really don’t want to do this.” He groans, leaning against his car while pulling
me towards him. “It doesn’t feel right you staying here by yourself.”
“I’ll
phone Audrey.” I promise him, smiling weakly. “She might even come by and see
me if I tell her what’s happened.”
“Audrey
knew where you were?” He snaps, pushing me away from him roughly. “She’s been
lying to me all this time?!”
“Please
don’t blame her.” I implore him, gazing up at him in earnest. “I asked her to
lie for me.”
“I
begged her…” He murmurs, shaking his head in disbelief. “I almost got down on
my knees and begged her to tell me where you were.”
“I’m
so sorry.”
I
can feel my eyes fill with tears, overwhelmed by the amount of guilt I’m
plagued by.
“Don’t...”
He whispers, forcing me to look up at him once more. “No more apologies, ok? I
don’t want us to focus on the past anymore.”
“Alright,
I’ll try not to.”
“Ok,
I really have to go.” He grumbles, frowning deeply. “I still have my idiot
brother to pick up and my parents.”
“How
is Aaron?” I ask, smiling at the thought of Zack’s mischievous brother still
wreaking havoc. “Has he settled down yet?”
“Settle
down?” Zack scoffs. “His longest relationship lasted about a week.”
“He
hasn’t changed much then?”
“Change
isn’t possible for someone as stupid as my brother.”
“You
love him really.” I laugh, slapping him on the arm playfully.
“Only
out of duty.”
“Please
let me know how she is.” I prompt him, hoping everything will be ok.
“I
will.” He promises me, pausing before he gets in the car. “I gave you my new number,
didn’t I?”
“You
did.” I confirm. “I’m going to put it straight in my phone once you’ve left.”
“I
might even make it back here tonight if she improves.”
“Don’t
rush back. I’ll be fine.”
“I
love you.” He says, winking at me before kissing me one last time.
“I
love you too.”
I
go back inside but don’t know what to do with myself. It’s still too early for
me to phone Audrey and I can’t face talking to Ian just yet.
I
know that breaking up with him is inevitable but still need to get my head
around the fact that I have Zack back in my life again. I’ve spent the past two
years without him, aching for the one and only man I’ve ever loved… it’s going
to take some time for me to process my new and unfamiliar reality now we’re
together.
I
phone Audrey a couple of hours later and fill her in on everything that’s
happened. She listens attentively and allows me to confide in her for as long
as I wish.
She
doesn’t seem surprised when I tell her about Zack turning up on my doorstep the
night before. It’s almost like she expected it to happen at some point and I
guess a part of me felt the same way.
I’ve
always known that she didn’t agree with my decision to run away, only deceiving
Zack because I made her promise, placing my trust in her completely
“I
just don’t know how I’m going to explain things to Ian.” I tell her, sighing
deeply.
The
thought of having to admit that I’m in love with someone else is horrific. I’ve
come to care about this man and don’t want to hurt him in any shape or form.
“You
need to be honest with him.” Audrey advises. “It’s the only way.”
“But
does he really need to know about Zack? It will break his heart if he finds out
about him.”
“Ian
might still think there’s hope for your relationship if you don’t tell him the
whole story. Trust me, you need to tell him the truth.”
“I
know you’re right.” I comment, mentally preparing myself for it. “I’m just
dreading that conversation.”
“It’s
always been him.” She observes, referring to Zack. “No one else will has even
come close.”
“You’re
right about that.” I agree with her wholeheartedly. “Zack’s my soulmate and
I’ve been kidding myself all these years thinking I could live without him when
I couldn’t.”
“You’ve
made your choice now.” She concludes. “The hard part is over.”
The
hours tick by but there’s still no word from Zack. I become increasingly worried
when I fail to hear anything from him and my anxiety consumes me, drowning out
any positivity I might have about where he is and why he hasn’t been in touch.
Where
is he?
What’s
happened?
Is
Amber ok?
Has
Rachel found out?
All
these questions fill my head, threatening to devour me completely as I pace
back and forth in agitation.
Ian
keeps on phoning me and I know it’s only a matter of time before he turns up
here. He has every right to do so seeing as it
is
his house. He has his
own key and is bound to use it if I don’t start replying to him soon.
Last
night I promised him he could come over this morning. I understand that he just
wants to make sure I’m ok but I can’t face him right now. I’m far too worried
about Zack and won’t be able to explain the reason why I’m so nervous and
apprehensive.
His
incessant calling proves how concerned he is, reminding me how special he is
and how lucky I’ve been to have him in my life.
Except
I belong to someone else.
I
always have done.
My
need to know what’s going on is suffocating me. I can’t think or even function
until I find out what’s wrong and the only way I can do that is by calling
Zack, panicking even more when he doesn’t answer.
I
try him again two hours later and then again an hour after that.
What
the hell is going on?!
My
intuition is telling me that something’s happened, something is wrong but I
don’t know what it is.
Zack
would have called me by now. He would have been in touch and the fact that he
hasn’t proves he’s been unable to.
I
practically leap on my phone when it finally rings, breathing a huge sigh of
relief when I see Zack’s name flash up on the screen.
“Zack,
are you ok? Where are you?” I demand, bombarding him with questions.
“Sam,
it’s me.”
I
inhale sharply, absolutely stunned to hear my sister’s voice for the first time
in two years. I can’t believe it’s really her and freeze, incapable of speaking
for several seconds.
“
Rachel
?”
My
voice is barely a whisper, striving to understand why she’s calling me on
Zack’s phone.
“Sam,
something’s happened.” She reveals, blurting it out suddenly. “Something really
bad.”
“Is
it Amber? Zack said she wasn’t well.”
“She’s
fine.” Rachel assures me, breathing rapidly. “But Zack isn’t.”
My
mind starts to race with possibilities and none of them are good. I close my
eyes, trying to prepare myself for the absolute worst.
“I
knew something was wrong.” I murmur, crumbling to the floor. “Tell me what’s
happened?”
“There
was a car accident and he’s in the hospital.” She informs me, pausing before
she continues. “It’s really bad, Sam. He… he could die.”
I
hear her voice break as she holds back her tears. She’s terrified and the fear she’s
enduring causes mine to spiral out of control, encompassing me in complete darkness.
“No…”
“Aaron
and his parents were killed in the crash but the paramedics managed to reach
Zack in time. He was the only one wearing his seatbelt.”
My
heart breaks for Zack’s family, saddened and dismayed by their untimely death.
I can scarcely believe that Aaron is really gone. How is it possible? How can
it just happen like that? How can he be dead?
“Where
is he?” I demand, needing to be with Zack and find out where he is.
She quickly
provides me with the name of the hospital and I thank her, promising to get
there as soon as possible.
I
can’t remember any of my journey to the hospital. It took us over an hour to
get here but it’s still a complete blank. All I know is Audrey picked me up
after I called her and now we’re standing outside.
I
don’t know where to go or who to ask. I’m completely lost, dazed, stunned and
still in shock.
“Come
on, Sam.” Audrey encourages me, taking hold of my arm so she can lead me
inside. “You can do this.”