Rodeo (BBW Cowboy Romance) (BBW Western Romance) (14 page)

The very next second John had thrown a punch in Tommy's direction but Tommy was fast, he was fit and his reactions were on alert.  John missed him but only just, his bulky frame and footballer build slowed him down whereas Tommy was not only younger but he was strong and athletic, lithe and broad.  I was startled by the sudden commotion but Tommy soon had the situation under control, taking John by the lapels of his jacket, he held him up against the wall, looking him directly in the eyes.

“Don't even go there pal, I'll make mincemeat out of you … and take great pleasure in doing so.  The very first moment you cheated on Eva you lost her so take yourself back to the city and finish what you started with your 'other woman', Eva is staying here and has no intention of discussing it with you.” Tommy meant business but I wasn't sure I appreciated him speaking on my behalf, this was something I needed to say to John myself, however it did break the ice for me.

John glanced over in my direction, “Eva, please call your lapdog off, now there's a good girl.”

Before I could say anything, Tommy was dragging John across the yard, he got as far as the water container and deftly submerged my struggling husband into the water, for a couple of seconds John was dipped and then Tommy let go and didn't move, waiting for John's fists to come flying at him.  A spluttering John came to the surface and I could almost see steaming coming from his ears,

“What the…Are you completely insane, you idiot??” he was drenched and enraged with fury.  As he stepped towards Tommy, he was prevented from advancing any further as Tommy popped a punch on the end of his nose.  I very nearly laughed out loud, although I didn't hold with any violence whatsoever it was something I could have quite easily done myself, my inner mischief thanked Tommy for saving me the job. 

John was clearly shell-shocked but he didn't fancy challenging Tommy, holding his nose as it seeped scarlet drips of blood onto his clean, white shirt his eyes narrowed towards Tommy,

“You'll be hearing from my lawyer about this you thug,” He then turned to me, “as for you, I think we need to talk,
alone
.”

It wasn't something I fancied very much but I couldn't run from it. I needed answers just as much as John did, I nodded in agreement and without daring to look in Tommy's direction I walked back to the house, a wet and bloodied John followed me. 

“You know where I am if you need me Eva,” Tommy called after me and I looked back and smiled my appreciation.

“She won't need you.” John sneered.

Back in the house I was thankful that my grandparents were in the village for the market, they would be gone for at least a couple of hours so it gave me plenty of time to talk with John and bring this complication to an end.  I had no idea in my mind how it was all going to transpire and I hadn't even come to a conclusion as to how it
would
all end but we did need to talk.

Putting the faithful, problem solving kettle on I automatically, if not robotically made a pot of tea.  As I poured the water into the teapot I realized that John was talking to me, I don't know how long he'd been talking but he was talking, I think by this time I'd resigned myself to not caring what he had to say.

“Why Eva?” he interrupted my thoughts.

“Why what, John? Shouldn't I be the one asking the questions?” I reminded him.

The problem with John was that although he was a responsible person, he never took responsibility of his own behavior, he never owned the fact that he made mistakes, he considered himself to be perfect, well he was far from that and whereas once I could overlook this trait, right now it revolted me, I despised his arrogance.

“John, you and I took vows of marriage, I seemed to have taken those vows seriously, you however didn't even wait for the ink on the marriage certificate to dry before you were rummaging in Helena's lingerie. You can't explain your way out of that so what is left for us? Nothing.”  I calmly informed him of my feelings.

Almost scoffing at my statement, John removed his wet jacket and began to unbutton his shirt, “There's little need for histrionics Eva ...”

This angered me, “Why is it John Cain that you feel the need to talk to me like you talk to your employees? I am your wife and deserve some respect.  If it's not my behavior you're calling into question it's my weight-”

“It's for your own good Eva, no-one wants a fat wife,” he cut into my explanation.

Slamming the teapot down onto the kitchen table it spurted hot water angrily from its spout, catching John on the hand.  “I am far from fat!” I shouted. John was too busy concerning himself with the water I'd splashed on him.  Throwing a tablecloth at him I wondered at myself giving him assistance, he deserved every last bit of pain coming his way, I was sorry I hadn't been able to punch him myself.

Before he could go on, “If you were to take your nose from up your scrawny girlfriend's ass you would see that half the women in the world are my size John, I am an averaged sized woman, a size fourteen, not some skeletal bag of bones that looks like she needs to eat a few meat pies in case she snaps in half!”

“Now, now Eva, you're becoming hysterical again,” he chastised me.

“No John, I have just had enough of your bullshit.”  John hated it when I swore and a part of me didn't care and part of me did it on purpose.

As he started to reproach me I turned away, looking out of the window I watched as Dollie greeted the postman, John became white noise in the background, I was disinterested in his opinion.

The next thing was John was beside me, grabbing me by the shoulders, “Are you even listening to me Eva?”

Looking into his eyes I assessed him for a moment, his face; the face I had fallen in love with was now a face I didn't even know.  Throughout our entire marriage he had hoodwinked me, made me believe in true love and caused me to think I needed to improve myself; the weight thing had never really bothered me deep down because I was confident with my size but it hadn't stopped me being aware of his perception.  I thought how Tommy was so different, how much he loved my body and had always had nothing but compliments about it, he embraced my curves and enjoyed my fuller figure, finding it sexy and appealing.  That was how a husband was supposed to feel, to find it a turn on, not a turn off.  Perhaps this was why he was attracted to Helena, well if he wanted to sleep with a body resembled that of a boy then he was certainly with the right woman, but why marry me in the first place?  This was the one and only question I wanted answering.

I ignored John's question and whatever it had been that he'd previously said, “Why did you marry me John?”

John tutted, still holding onto my shoulders, “Because I love you Eva, why do you think I married you?”

“That is exactly why I'm asking you John because as far as I'm concerned, you didn't need to marry me, you had Helena and you could've continued with her without hurting anyone else along the way,”  I stated.

“But I wanted to marry you. I loved you.”  John's voice softened but I wasn't about to crumble.

“No John, you wanted me.  Like you do with all your fancy gadgets and possessions, you wanted to own me,” I stipulated, there was no other way to explain this to him but I felt he wouldn't admit it anyway.

“That's not true Eva, I loved you and wanted you to be my wife, I still do-“ As his voice tailed off I raised my eyebrows.

“Oh John.  Poor, poor deluded John,” I lamented, “you don't love me, you don't want to lose me, but not because you love me, you just don't want to lose the fight or lose me to another man.”

A sudden scowl crept over John's face. “And I suppose that jerk back there is the other man?”

It was quite remarkable how he could flit from one emotion to another, especially when it was bringing his macho attitude into question.  “I am not with another man John, I have been but I'm not making any decisions right now, but I won't be making them based on your answers either.” I explained as directly as I could.

The scowl promoted itself and became an ugly grimace, “You have the cheek to penalize me for carrying on with Helena but it's ok for you to do it?  I think you have your principles all twisted round young lady.”

“My principles remain intact thank you very much John, I never so much as looked at another man before I found out about your major indiscretions.” I defended my corner. I wasn't going to allow him to play that card on me.

I saw Dollie spring to life as my grandparents truck rolled into the yard, they both instantly looked towards the house as they noticed John's car parked outside.  Grandma's face displayed a certain relief as she saw me standing in the window.

“My grandparents have returned, we need to go for a walk.”  I said, reminding him to quickly get dressed.  His jacket and shirt had been drying on the heater and by now were fit to be worn again.

Thankfully he was fully dressed by the time they entered the house.

Grandma was the first through the door and the look on her face wasn't exactly warm and welcoming.

“John.” She acknowledged him in a clipped tone.  Grandpa was next through the door who ignored him completely.  Sensing that he wasn't welcome, John walked towards the door, “Let's go for that walk Eva?”

We left the house and I steered us in the direction of the stables.  As we walked into the familiar smell my heart skipped a beat, how could I discuss the state of my marriage when my senses were going into overdrive with memories of my last visit here.

“Are you going to be straight with me John? There's no point in discussing anything if you're going to constantly avoid my questions.” I advised.

Sitting down on a hay bale, John sighed.  He was finally appearing to back down with his self-righteous attitude, “Oh Eva, I'm a fool, a stupid, self-obsessed fool but Helena is a forceful woman, not someone to be messed with.”

How could I have begun to think that John would come to his senses, here he was again blaming someone else for his actions, this time it was Helena, who wasn't even present to defend herself.  Perhaps us talking was a bad idea, he was never going to admit he was at fault just as much as she was.

“Do me a favor John, don't bother opening your mouth unless you have something valid to say, I've had it up to here with your crap,” I gestured towards the top of my head to put my point across, “and before you tick me off again for swearing, don't bother, I'm a grown woman and if I wanted to bloody swear, I bloody will!”

John, knowing that I rarely lost my temper must have realized that he'd pushed me, but I couldn't abide this passive/aggressive side to him, it wasn't in his nature and all he was attempting to do was manipulate the situation and me.  I wasn't to be fooled though, I saw John in action with his business clients, I knew how he worked.

“Yes John, you are indeed a fool but I've clearly been the bigger fool.  I believed that you had loyalty for me when you apparently hadn't, I believed that you loved me dearly instead of loving me possessively and what's more frustrating is that you constantly criticized me for not living up to your expectations when all along it was you that was guilty of something.  I've listened to your patronizing comments, your disgraceful remarks about my weight and watched you take credit for things I've created for you.  Well, it stops here.”

John intervened, “I can change, if it means I don't lose you.”

“I doubt that very much John, the only thing you're worrying about in reality is losing face, not me,”  I briefed him.

As he attempted to add something else to his defense I put up my hand, “This is becoming slightly repetitive John, I'm not going to change my mind.  If this was some two-bit affair with a young starlet then I could see my way to forgive you.  This isn't a momentary lapse though is it John?  Incidentally, how long has it been going on?”

There was a deafening silence for what seemed like a minute or two, John held his head in shame, “Only a couple of years.”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing and as my hand slapped his face I think we were both as shocked as each other, “You complete lying bastard!”