SAHM I am (22 page)

Read SAHM I am Online

Authors: Meredith Efken

Tags: #General, #Fiction, #Domestic fiction, #Family Life, #Christian, #Religious, #Female friendship, #Mothers, #Suburban Life, #Urban Life, #Christian Fiction, #Housewives, #Electronic discussion groups, #Electronic mail messages

Dulcie

From:

The Millards

To:

“Green Eggs and Ham”

Subject:

Re: Dress emergency!

Dulcie,

If you are really wanting to lose weight, you should try what I did. I’ve lost about twenty-five pounds. It’s a good-carb/good-fats eating plan that can become a new lifestyle instead of just a fad diet you fall off as soon as you start cheating. I’m attaching an article about it with info about the book. Let me know what you think.

Jocelyn

From:

Dulcie Huckleberry

To:

“Green Eggs and Ham”

Subject:

Re: Dress emergency!

I checked it out, and I think this might be something I can actually live with. Thanks, Jocelyn! By this time in May, I’m going to slink down that aisle and feel good about it. Just you wait and see….

Dulcie

From:

Rosalyn Ebberly

To:

SAHM I Am

Subject:

[SAHM I AM] TOTW February 14: Romancing Our Husbands

Vibrant Valentines,

It’s a snowy Valentine’s Day here in Hibiscus, but I’ve had a lovely time so far. Jefferson and Chad got up early to surprise me with breakfast in bed—no small feat considering I am usually up and doing my Bible study by at least 4:30 in the morning. They made eggs Benedict, which was a perfect opportunity to explain to Jefferson the history of the real Benedict Arnold, whom the dish was named after, and how the eggs symbolize the birth of our new country, how the bacon represents the pig-ish greed of the English government, and how the traitorous Arnold threatened the divine course of our infant nation by spying for the British, who are represented by the English muffin. The hollandaise sauce,
of course, is a reminder of how the Pilgrims traveled first to Holland before coming to America.

Chad, in his usual flair for the romantic, baked a small éclair with a one-carat diamond tennis bracelet hidden in the cream. And he’s taking me to Seattle this afternoon, to see a traveling Broadway show. But he won’t tell me which one! While I was eating breakfast, he prepared a luxurious bath for me, with rose petals and candles floating in the water. As I relaxed in the bath, he serenaded me with love songs he composed himself. He has such a beautiful voice. After the bath, a half-hour foot rub!

Now it’s 7:30, and he’s left for work. But I am sure there are a few more surprises waiting for me today. Chad’s so good at thinking up romantic things like that!

However, he’s not the only one. I have quite a few things planned for him, as well. Which brings me to this week’s topic: Creating a Romantic Valentine’s Day for Your Husband.

I’m sure most of you are married to men who are clueless when it comes to romance. So it will do you absolutely no good lying around in bed today hoping he will serve you breakfast as my husband did for me. And I doubt that any of your DHs would know how to create a relaxing bath without burning the house down in the attempt. But this does NOT mean that you have to face each Valentine’s Day with new disappointment! YOU can create romance for your husband! I have several ideas, but I never like to focus on myself. Let’s hear from all of you. How can you romance your husband?

Sweetly Yours,

Rosalyn Ebberly

SAHM I Am Loop Moderator

“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)

From:

P. Lorimer

To:

SAHM I Am

Subject:

[SAHM I AM] Eggs Benedict

Rosalyn, I’m sorry to spoil your history lesson. However, eggs Benedict has absolutely nothing at all to do with the Revolutionary War or Benedict Arnold.

Nothing. Not even close.

Eggs Benedict was invented in New York City during the mid-1890s, either at the restaurant Delmonico’s or at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. The Delmonico story says a woman named Mrs. LeGrand Benedict talked the maître d’into creating a new dish for breakfast because she was sick and tired of the usual stuff. The Waldorf-Astoria one says it was requested by a Mr. Lemuel Benedict, who was hungover from the night before and wanted some eggs, toast, bacon and hollandaise sauce.

Furthermore, English muffins were invented in America. And hollandaise sauce came from France. But you do get an A for creativity.

Now I’m hungry. It’s unfortunate we don’t have a McDonald’s in town. I could really enjoy an Egg McMuffin about now. :)

Phyllis

From:

Zelia Muzuwa

To:

“Green Eggs and Ham”

Subject:

benedict rosalyn

Hey, Phyllis. I didn’t know you were a food historian. Is that what they teach you in grad school, Professor Lorimer?

By the way, how IS everyone’s Valentine’s Day going so far? Did your husbands come through for you this year, or do we all need to band together and dress in black to protest, like my friends and I used to do in high school?

February is right in the middle of Tristan’s busy time as a CPA, so we aren’t doing anything special until Friday night…when Tristan will whisk me away to the Inn at 2920, this swanky, upscale B&B for two nights of luxury and
no kids!
(Kids will stay with my parents, who are coming to pick them up on Friday morning.) And it has its own resident beta fish, Valentino (rather appropriate for the holiday, don’t you think?). What I’m looking forward to most, though, is the whirlpool tub in our room. Then, Saturday evening, we’re going to Toby’s dinner theater to see
Miss Saigon.
I can hardly wait!

But today, I’ll be lucky to get a card. Although Cosette has been coloring me about three valentines a day for the past week. She was getting upset because I told her they wouldn’t ALL fit on the refrigerator door, so I created a “valentine gallery” out of our hallway. Each valentine gets its own frame (out of construction paper) and title plate. Cosette’s current favorite activity when she comes home from school is to “go to the art museum” and gaze rapturously at her collection…until Griffith and Seamus mow her down while racing each other to the front door. The thing is, I rather like to
go gaze rapturously at the collection, too. There’s a lot of love being displayed in our hallway—and all for
me!
:) Isn’t being a mom great?

Z

From:

P. Lorimer

To:

“Green Eggs and Ham”

Subject:

Valentine’s Day Plans

Z, your weekend sounds heavenly! Ah, the advantages to living in a city. I miss it dearly.

We found out, just a
month
ago, that the pastor and his wife are expected to host a Valentine’s Dinner at church on the 14th. Nobody bothered to tell us this sooner, so we’ve been running around like maniacs trying to pull it together—without any help, of course. I’ll be spending most of the day doing the cooking, and then rushing over to the church to help Jonathan set up and decorate. This, on what is
supposed
to be his day off. Thankfully we have a small congregation!

Is it like this in your churches? I didn’t grow up going to church, so I don’t have much to compare to. But it seems like our congregation expects Jonathan and me to do absolutely everything for them, except maybe brush their teeth and tuck them into bed at night. Jonathan accepts it as normal, but it just feels a little wrong to me. I thought the body of Christ was supposed to work together, like a big family. I feel more like the scullery maid.

Enough griping, I suppose. I received a card and box of chocolates—not very original, but given with sincere love. Jonathan assures me that he has a babysitter arranged for Friday night so we can go out to dinner by ourselves. (Hah!
“Out to dinner” being one of two fairly decent restaurants in the area. No dinner theater for me this year.) But I have no confidence this will actually come to pass. My guess is that some elderly member of the congregation will conveniently have a stroke, or somebody’s cherished dog will die, and Jonathan will be the
only
one in the world who can provide the necessary assistance and prayer. Hmm…I hadn’t realized I’d become so cynical. Maybe I
should
dress in black today.

Phyllis

From:

Brenna L.

To:

“Green Eggs and Ham”

Subject:

Re: Valentine’s Day Plans

Phyllis,

I can tell you right now that if that was
my
congregation treating me like that, I’d get my husband to preach some well-aimed sermons about loving and serving each other! It is
so
not supposed to be like that. Although, now that I’m writing that to you, I wonder if our pastor and wife ever feel that way…we’re actually not very active at our church. It’s almost an hour’s drive, there’s hardly anything that happens there and the teaching is mediocre at best. I had such a good church in Tulsa, but out here, it’s slim pickins, that’s for sure.

My Valentine’s Day started out with a sick child—Madeline has a fever of 101 degrees and a sore throat. But I can’t get her in to the doctor until tomorrow. Poor little thing had to stay home from school today. Her class was having a design-your-own-valentines-box contest, and she is so disappointed to be missing out. She had her box all ready to go, too. Darren helped her with it. It’s a big, pink combine with
sparkling heart stickers all over it. You hook it up to a Shop-Vac and it sucks the valentines through the front header, up and out the auger, and into a bin decorated like a big red truck with heart-shaped windows. It’s so cute, and she won’t even be able to bring it now. I’m going to call her teacher later today and see if Madeline can demonstrate it whenever she’s feeling better.

But Darren did cook us heart-shaped pancakes this morning, with strawberries and Cool Whip on them. Bless his heart, pancakes are about the only meal he can make. :)

But they were yummy! And his mom is going to come over this evening and stay with Madeline while Darren and I go out.

We have a weird tradition for Valentine’s Day. We load up the truck, drive out to the middle of the biggest pasture and go camping. We have a big tent, a space heater and even a little “potty shack”—so we’re real cozy despite the chilly weather. This is where Darren proposed to me, on Valentine’s Day four years ago, so it’s very special to both of us.

And I’m praying hard that the romance happens like it usually does each year. The last few months have been really tough, and we need desperately to have time to reconnect. I have to find a way to convince him I still love him and am attracted to him, whether he can father a child or not. This, I’m learning, is not an easy thing to accomplish.

Off to spend the day caring for sick daughter and enhancing my feminine wiles…what a bizarre combination!

Brenna

From:

The Millards

To:

“Green Eggs and Ham”

Subject:

Re: Valentine’s Day Plans

I can identify with Brenna’s “sick child” problem. Tyler’s illness has definitely put a crimp in my plans with Shane! I don’t really feel comfortable leaving Tyler with a babysitter at this point, so we’re staying home this evening. But my dear Shane talked it over with me a couple weeks ago, and we decided we didn’t need to go out someplace fancy to have a romantic evening together. (Although Z’s weekend sounds awesome!)

So, he took the day off, and is downstairs in the family room right now, transforming it into a romantic Arabian Nights retreat. I don’t know what all he’s doing, but my sister-in-law loaned him the tulle she used in their wedding, and he’s been mooching houseplants and indoor trees off our friends and neighbors the entire week. I’ve also seen an air mattress, giant floor pillows, and a few Oriental rugs headed down there, as well as some satin sheets in a ton of bright colors. (I don’t know where everything came from, exactly.) He dug out all our white Christmas lights on Saturday, so I can only guess what he’s doing with those.

We have a friend who loves to cook, and she’s fixing us a Persian meal. All we have to do is pick it up!

I have a couple of surprises myself…starting with an Arabian-princess costume I rented, complete with headpiece and veil. And I can’t forget the special chocolate dessert…

I’ll give you updates tomorrow.

Jocelyn

From:

Dulcie Huckleberry

To:

“Green Eggs and Ham”

Subject:

I’m Wearing Black

It’s 11:30 p.m. February 14. Only a half hour left of this year’s “day of love.” I’m staying up until midnight, just to confirm my suspicions. I think my husband forgot Valentine’s Day. There’s been no phone call, no e-mails, no cards, no special FTD deliveries.
Nada.
I kept hoping maybe he’d up and surprise me this evening with something, but…nope. And reading all of your e-mails today, I guess I’m the only one who should have worn black.

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