SAHM I am (24 page)

Boy, you gals make me lonely for my kids. At least Griffith is home during the afternoon to keep me company. And we’re working as fast as we can on the adoption. We found this great little Ethiopian restaurant, and we decided that every time we reach another adoption milestone, we’re going to go out and celebrate at the restaurant. We went there when our application was accepted by our agency, and we’re planning to go again in a few weeks when we complete the paperwork for our home-study.

Speaking of…did you know they want to know
everything
about us for the home-study? We got this “family survey” we have to fill out. It’s basically nine pages of long essay questions, and Tristan and I have to answer them separately. Of course, we’re comparing answers to make sure they match! But I just about died when I saw number seven: “Please describe your satisfaction with your sex life and explain why you feel that way.”

What’s up with that? Why on earth could it possibly be important for a social worker to know about my sex life? And then to have to explain
why?
You should have seen Tristan’s face when he read it. I’ve never seen his eyes get so big! :) And his answer was so cute: “I am well-satisfied with my sex life. I feel that way because it is so.”

My answer, you ask? Nope, not gonna tell you. (Actually, that’s because it wasn’t even as interesting as Tristan’s. I can joke about stuff like that okay, but to put it down in writing for a case worker to read? Ugh!)

Anyway, we’re just waiting for Tristan’s birth certificate to arrive from England and then we can turn in our paperwork. A couple weeks after that, we should have our first meeting with our home-study lady. I can’t decide if I’m more excited or nervous about that….

Z

Ros,

Frank got me a housekeeper! I don’t know why we didn’t do it sooner—all our friends have one. But it has helped so much. She comes once a week, bless her heart, and I can count on every Monday coming home from work to find a house looking as clean as Houston air after a toad choaker. Don’t matter if I tump over a can of Coke or a whole carton of eggs, it all looks better than sliced bread after she leaves. I can’t imagine how she gets everything so shining in such a short time. It’s wonderful!

Sure enough, I doubt you have a problem keeping your house clean, being home all the time. Must be nice. But still…it’s too bad y’all can’t afford a housekeeper, just to make life easier for you. Remember how we both hated our chores growing up? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back to doing it myself ever again. So there ya go.

Ronnie

Dear Domestic Darlings,

Spring is just around the corner, and it’s time to consider one of the most rewarding, satisfying activities of the year: spring cleaning! :) But in our enthusiasm for transforming our cozy winter burrow into a sparkling, fresh and well-organized spring garden, it is easy for some people to dive right in without the proper preparation or forethought. This will cause a chaotic mayhem that will create tension and stress in your family, instead of peaceful efficiency that gives a feeling of security and well-being to all who enter your pleasant abode.

Here is a quote from one of my favorite books on household organization:
Domestic Bliss Begins with “DO”
by Dustin Scrubb. Written, surprisingly, by a man, this little gem is packed with excellent advice for us SAHMs.

“The well-organized home is a pleasing fragrance to God. He is a God of order and proper design. Anything that is not orderly or properly designed, then, is of Satan. We must avoid at all costs allowing our home to become the tool of our spiritual enemy. He would love to use your cluttered closets, your dusty bookshelves, the dust bunnies under the bed, and your inability to find your shoes as an opportunity to sow dissention and disharmony in your family.

“But where to start reclaiming your home? First, you must confess the sin of disorderliness. Until you repent of your cluttered heart and disorganized soul, you will never be able to make a lasting difference in your house.

“Second, you must commit to making your home a
priority.
Many books and organizing systems claim you can have a sparkling home in ‘only minutes a day.’ My friends, we must realize that you will never get something for nothing. Effort, determination, dedication and sacrifice are the only true ways to achieving domestic bliss.

“Third, you must have a specific plan of attack. This is as much a spiritual battle as a physical one, and strategy is of the utmost importance. Do not think you can enter the war for your home with little thought or preparation. You will be sabotaged by the guerrilla warfare of the enemy.”

Isn’t that wonderful advice? I know the anticipation is building—so let’s share this week our ideas for organizing and making our homes clean, sanitary, efficient and orderly. Even though it’s not in the Bible, I think there is much truth in the statement “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”

Death to Dirt!

Rosalyn Ebberly

SAHM I Am Loop Moderator

Oh goodie! I can hardly wait. Spring cleaning is on my list of favorite things to do, right up there with getting my flu shot, changing blow-out diapers and having morning sickness.

Dulcie

Have any of you seen the www.flylady.com Web site? It’s this entire system for keeping your house clean and organized. I just love it! It was overwhelming at first, but now it actually makes decluttering my house rather fun. My favorite activities are shining my sink and the 27-Fling Boogie.

Have a great day!

Jocelyn

You are one sick woman, Joc. ;)

Z

Jonathan just called me from the church. There’s something weird going on. Jonathan needed to make an appointment with somebody, but his new secretary was in the restroom. So he just peeked at her calendar to see what his available times would be. He noticed that tomorrow night she has penciled in, in tiny letters “Elders, 8:30, at Jorgensen’s.” But the regular board meeting isn’t until next week, and it’s always at the church, not in one of the homes. No one notified him of any meetings. So he asked her about it when she came back, and she was a bit miffed that he had looked at her calendar. She said she’d just written down the wrong time and date in her book and hadn’t erased it yet. But something strange is going on.

I can’t imagine what it would be—we haven’t had any disagreements with anyone, and nobody has indicated any dissatisfaction. I guess there’s nothing wrong with the elders wanting to get together without us. After all, they were all friends long before we arrived. It’s silly to be so paranoid. But the whole thing was a little odd.

On a bright note, Bennet took his first steps this morning! I was so happy for him. I wish we had a video camera or something, but I couldn’t even find my 35-millimeter in time.

Phyllis

…walking today, running by next Tuesday. Way to go, little guy!

Jocelyn

<…walking today, running by next Tuesday.>

Hold your tongue, Ms. Millard! He gets into enough trouble as it is! :)

Hugs,

Phyllis

I just know you won’t. I can hardly believe it myself, so why you would, I don’t know. Why I’m even bothering to tell you, when it is so bizarrely unbelievable, is a mystery to me. I mean, you think you’ve heard some strange things? This tops it all.

Dulcie

Oh, come on, Dulcie. Spill already! Don’t play these little games with me, girl. :)

Z

Okay, okay. Well, I just got off the phone with Jeanine, my MIL. She up and announced that she and Morris have decided to get married at the Shoji Tabuchi Theater. On the
stage,
for crying out loud! And you’ll never guess who is providing the music—the maestro himself. How that happened, I don’t know. All Mom would say is, “Oh, sweetie, that’s just the effect Morris has on people. He’s
such
a dear.” Ack! Pardon me while I go chug some Mylanta.

Tom says this is his mother’s “defense mechanism” for dealing with anxiety. She does tend toward the theatrical anytime she’s nervous. Tom thinks she’s really scared about the idea of getting married again, so she is reacting by lowering her inhibitions and making it into a show. All I know is that we’re all going to need counseling by the time this is over!

Oh, I didn’t tell you the best part—they want to have their wedding photos taken in the theater bathrooms! Argh! Only in Branson can something like this happen….

Dulcie

I don’t understand. Why would anyone want their wedding photos taken in a bathroom?

Phyllis

Hey, Phyllis,

You obviously have never been to Branson. :) The Shoji bathrooms are legendary. Completely outrageous. I’m talking black onyx, marble, gold-leaf, stained glass, chandeliers, lion’s head sinks, you name it. The women’s restroom has a fountain and a fireplace. The men’s has black leather chairs and a hand-carved pool table in it! People stop at the theater just to go peek in the bathrooms. It’s crazy. But I never heard of anyone having their wedding photos taken there….

Brenna

We visited there a couple of years ago. The ladies’ room has an orchid on every sink, and a maid who dispenses hand lotion to you as you go out. Is your MIL going to let the maid be in the shoot, too? It would be appropriate, you know…having a
bride’s maid
in the photos….

Jocelyn