Authors: Kelly Harper
“What is it?” he said, his voice alarmed.
I searched his face for a second. My mouth quirked to the side, nervous to even say what I was thinking.
“Do you have a condom?” I asked. His eyes flashed for a second, then he nodded. “I’m sorry to even ask,” I went on. “I know we didn’t use one last time, but… We should just be safe.”
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said. He reached toward the nightstand and dug through the drawer. “Neither one of us is ready for any little Haden’s or Maggie’s running around.” He flashed a devilish smile as he pulled out an unopened box of condoms. He held them up for me to see. “I got these for us,” he said, giving the box a shake.
My body ached even more at the thought of Haden planning ahead for me. I’d never known what it was like to have a guy think of me and the needs I might have.
“Then what are you waiting for?” I said.
Haden grinned as he ripped the box open. He dug out a single condom and tore the package along its length. In one fluid motion, he rolled it down over himself, and leaned back in toward me.
His chest pressed on mine, and the scent was overpowering. As he pushed himself into me, I moaned in pleasure. He went slowly at first, until he was all the way in, and then he began pumping faster. The condom felt odd at first, but before long I barely noticed it was even there.
“That’s what I’ve needed,” I said. “Wow.”
“Been missing it?” he teased.
He slid his hands under my legs, rolling me even further onto my back. He was impossibly deep.
“Just like that,” I said. “Keep going.”
I felt the little ball of electricity tumbling around inside me. It came on faster and stronger than it ever had before. I grabbed my legs and pulled them even further back—Haden sank even deeper.
“Keep going,” I moaned again.
He pumped even faster—harder. With every thrust came a new height of pleasure. Then he buried himself deep inside me, and locked his hips in place. He moved his hands, getting a better angle, and then his hips began to rotate in a tight little circle.
The sensation was too much to handle. A scream erupted from me as the explosion rocketed out from my core and down through my legs. They shuddered, violently, and I lost my grip on them.
Haden’s eyes were ablaze with passion. They locked on my quivering body, and his grin widened as my legs collapsed in a heap next to him.
“That was fast,” he said.
“Don’t stop,” I moaned.
“That’s my girl.”
He leaned back and rolled me onto my side. Pinching both of my legs down, he entered me again from above. The sensation was new and amazing. There were so many things I’d never done, and Haden was there to show me all of them.
His hips rocked back and forth—harder and faster. Then, I felt the muscles in his legs start to shake. His arms were unsteady, and he fell down toward me.
“Come for me,” I whispered.
I moved my hips from side to side, and another groan rumbled out of him. This only encouraged me, and I moved my hips even more, grinding his length into me.
His arms tensed, and I saw the muscles bulge. His whole body quivered for one long second, and then he jerked, violently. Haden let out a moan that sent vibrations rolling through me. My teeth dug into my bottom lip as I watched his face go blank in ecstasy.
With one final thrust, he collapsed onto the bed next to me. His eyes were unfocused and distant for a second while he tried to compose himself. Then, he looked at me, giving me a fierce grin.
“Wow,” he said. “That gets better every time.”
A satisfied smile spread across my face as I curled myself into his waiting arms.
We laid in bed for a long time afterward. Haden’s body was pressed close to mine. I could feel the rise and fall with every breath he took. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms. I wanted to wake up to discover that everything had been a dream.
“You were wonderful,” he said. A smile spread across his face. “When we do that… it’s like magic.”
He ran a hand through my hair, draping it lightly to the side. I loved having his hands on me.
“I know what you mean,” I said. I shut my eyes, and curled into him even further. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me even tighter. “I’m sorry,” I said. I didn’t know where the words came from, they just popped out of me.
He tensed against me, and then lifted himself to get a better look at me.
“Sorry for what?” he asked.
I blew out a soft sigh and shrugged. “Sorry for the way I acted the other night,” I said. “I overreacted.” I cringed, thinking back on that night, thinking about everything that had happened. “I didn’t give you the kind of trust that you gave me.”
His eyes burned, again, and he curled himself back around me. His head rested on my chest.
“I should have told you earlier,” he said. “I shouldn’t have let things get that far.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” I said. “I get it—I think.”
His fingers wrapped around mine. Our fingertips teased each other—not quite holding hands, and not quite letting go. Then he wrapped his hang around mind and brought it to his lips.
“I just don’t want you running out on me again,” he said. “I don’t know if I could handle that.”
I shook my head. “I won’t,” I said. His fingers traced up along my forearms, now. The touch was just soft enough to not tickle, but it still sent chills running up and down my back. “I do have to get going before long, though,” I said.
He hesitated, but only for a second. “Your mom?” he asked.
I nodded. “I need to get to the hospital,” I said.
We were silent for a while longer. I could feel the beat of his heart on my side, and wondered what he was thinking that made it beat so hard.
“When can I see you again?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I’m not sure,” I said.
“Tonight?” he asked.
I shrugged again.
“Everything’s up in the air, right now,” I said.
He grew quiet, and I could feel him shrinking away from me. It was a subtle change, but I noticed it all the same.
“It’s not like that,” I said. “I want to see you again, it’s just hard to say what’s going to happen. We’re taking things day by day with Mom.”
He tightened himself around me.
“I love having you this close to me,” he said.
A smile spread across my face.
“I know what you mean,” I said.
I put a finger under his chin and lifted his lips to mine. It didn’t take much motivation before he was kissing me, again. My body ached to have him again, already, but I couldn’t. I’d already been with Haden longer than I’d planned, and the day wasn’t getting any younger.
“I have to get going,” I said. He nodded at me, his green eyes threatening to consume me whole. “I’ll call you later?”
He nodded, again. I pulled myself away from him, a groan escaping me as I did. I stood over him, admiring his perfection one more time. Then forced myself away before my body could get the better of me again. My clothes were scattered around the room, and I started gathering them.
“I still think clothes should be outlawed on you,” he said as I buttoned my shorts.
I grinned at him. “I’m sure you’ve seen plenty,” I said.
He leered at me. “For now,” he said.
A surge of warmth went through me. I loved his eyes on me nearly as much as I loved his hands on me. They made me feel special, like I could take on the world.
He leered at me for a second longer before getting out of bed himself. My eyes locked onto the contours of his body. Another wave of doubt came over me. It wouldn’t be
so
bad if we got back into bed, would it? I was thankful when he slid into his boxers and I could think straight again.
“There’s something I want you to have,” he said. I studied him, raising an eyebrow. He nodded toward the night stand. “That,” he said.
I looked down, and the only thing I saw was a keycard for the room. I picked it up.
“This?” I said, confused.
He nodded. “In case you want to come back,” he said. “You’re welcome anytime.”
A grin spread across my face. “Thanks,” I said. Now I wouldn’t have to stand down in the lobby being judged by that old crone. “Walk me out?” I said.
Haden didn’t bother with the rest of his clothes. He walked me to the elevator wearing nothing but his boxers. I strained with every ounce of my willpower to keep my attention focused forward.
“So, you’ll call me later, right?” he said.
I nodded. “Tonight. After the hospital.”
He gave me a longing look. “You know,” he began. “I’d like to meet her.”
I frowned at him, a sudden tension tightening itself inside of me.
“You want to…
meet
… her?” I said, the words struggling to come out.
“Is there something wrong with that?” he asked, his face darkening.
“No, I didn’t mean it like that,” I said, trying to assure myself more than him. “It’s just that… I don’t know how that would go over.”
He laughed. “You’re not ashamed of me are you?” he said, nudging me. “I’m not all that bad—I clean up pretty well.”
I smiled at him, and shook my head. “No, you’re wonderful,” I said. “It’s just that, I don’t know if now is the best time. I don’t know how she’d feel about it with everything else going on.”
He shrugged a shoulder as the elevator dinged and opened.
“Sounds like there’s no better time, then,” he said.
My gut twisted in on itself. I understood what he was implying. The very thought that Mom might not be around long enough to get to meet Haden overcame me, and I felt nauseous.
Haden’s face softened as he considered me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t man to imply…”
I cut him off with a wave of my hand. “It’s okay,” I said. I looked at him, wondering what I could say to make things better. But there wasn’t anything. “I’ll call you later,” I said, and I jumped on the elevator.
Haden watched me, then nodded, slowly.
“I love you,” he said, softly, his eyes locked on mine.
A small smile broke its way through the pain.
“I love you, too,” I said.
Mom’s room was dim, still. Dimmer than yesterday. The machines were still connected and still buzzing away. There were new things in the room, however. A few cards and flowers were set on the little table next to the bed. Even more were on another table in the corner of the room. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of people being so generous toward us. It had been a while since we’d had that kind of support—as simple as it was.
Mom was laying in the bed, just as I’d seen her last time, but her eyes were open, and a smile tugged at her mouth when she saw me come in.
“Maggie,” she said, though it was labored.
I smiled. “How are you feeling?”
“As good as I can, I guess,” she said.
She tried to push herself up in the bed. Her face tightened and her arms were shaky.
“Easy, Mom,” I said. “Let me help you.”
I grabbed at the pillows behind her, repositioning them until she was satisfied. The little chair still sat next to the bed, and as I sunk into it, I was reminded of how uncomfortable it was.
“How’s your day been?” I asked.
Her head tilted to the side.
“With all these drugs they’re giving me, I’ve been sleeping like a baby.”
“I guess it’s not all bad, then,” I said, letting out a small laugh. The laugh fizzled before it went anywhere, and we were left in silence again.
My nerves were nagging at me. I didn’t know how to bring Haden up, but I knew I needed to tell her about him. I
wanted
to tell her about him. He was the first man I’d ever loved, and I wanted to share that with her. But, my mind flashed back to when she’d found us in San Antonio. She’d freaked out, then, and it had been too much for me to handle.
Maybe she’d had a good reason for it. She hadn’t expected to find me there—especially not kissing some tattooed guy she’d never met. I knew now that she’d been under a lot of stress from all of the medical stuff going on. But that didn’t take away the fact that she didn’t want me seeing him. And I’d already told her that I’d called things off.
How was I supposed to tell her everything had changed already?
“Is everything alright, dear?” she asked.
Her eyes were searching me—it must have been obvious that something was bothering me. Mom could always read me like a book. It wasn’t just because we were family—mother-daughter—it was because we were also best friends. At least, that’s how things had been in Jersey.
I nodded. “Yeah,” I said, hesitating for only a breath.
“Out with it,” she said, softly.
I winced. Her tone wasn’t harsh, but there was no fooling her. There was no reason to pretend like everything was fine. She would see through it, anyway. I sucked in a large breath, trying to summon all of my courage with it. Just as I was about to let it all out—about to spill everything about Haden—an interruption came to save me.
There was a knock at the door. We frowned at the same time, wondering who it was. Any of the family members or doctors would have just entered—even if they knocked first. I padded over to the door, and pulled it open. Confusion washed over me with a tidal force.
The outline of a tall man filled the doorway—a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a nervous look on his face. He smiled at me, his weight shifting between his feet.
“I hope I’m not interrupting,” he said.
“Scottie, what are you doing here?” I said.
He gave me a nervous smile, and shrugged his shoulders. He searched for words before he spoke. It was the most flustered I’d ever seen him.
“When you mentioned that your mother was sick,” he said, his eyes trailing down to the floor. “I just thought I’d…”
He shrugged again, and pushed the flowers forward. “I brought these for her,” he said.
I took them from him, giving him a puzzled look.
“They’re beautiful,” I said. “But, you didn’t have to.”
He nodded again, and his nerves were replaced by a goofy smile. “I know. I just thought it would be nice,” he said.
“Well, don’t just stand in the hallway. Come in,” I said. “You have good timing—she’s awake right now.”