Saving You, Saving Me (13 page)

I remembered it as it was the first time I came into Collins’ room. Spacious, elegant, and beautiful like Collins was.

He sat me in his armchair before heading off to the kitchen. The sounds of slamming cupboards, coffee beans being ground up, and the smell of freshly brewed coffee woke me up even before Collins placed a cup of coffee in front of me. “Drink,” he said. “You feel like a popsicle, a delectable one, though, but you’re cold, and I don’t want you to get sick. This will warm you up.”

I took a sip, and was rewarded with very good rich coffee. “You made this yourself?”

“Yes,” Collins smiled shyly, which took my breath away. I haven’t  seen him for days, I had almost forgotten how handsome he was. “You act like that’s hard to believe.”

“Well, you tend to have and own a lot of things,” I said quietly. “And you’re Collins McGregor.”

He came over to me, took the cup of coffee and placed it on the table to the side. He pulled me into his arms while using his hands to warm my arms. “And you’re Samantha Sullivan,” he said simply. “Just because I have a lot of money doesn’t mean I’m any more or any less of a person than anyone, Sam.” He smiled. “Besides, Mrs. Anderson hates being disturbed at this time of day.  You witnessed firsthand how she gets.”

I laughed. “You got yourself a battle axe for a housekeeper.”

“That’s what you get for hiring your godmother’s best friend.”

My eyes flew wide open, and I clapped a hand to my mouth.

Collins laughed. “You know you look so adorable like that in your fluffy robe, looking so surprised.” He removed my hand from my mouth and bent down. His lips were instantly on mine while his tongue slipped in to graze the tips of my teeth. When it lightly touched mine, it was as though lightning shot between us.

My breath quickened and I suddenly wanted Collins to throw me on his bed. “Collins,” I whispered, looking up at him with innocent eyes. “I want more…”

Collins gasped against me, and he pulled away gently, while his hands remained on other side of my face. His thumb traced the bottom of my lips while he said, “I want to give you more, Sam, believe me, I do, but I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to rush into things.”

I involuntarily shuddered with the effects his thumb was having on my lips. He took my hands and kissed each knuckle. Without taking his eyes off of mine, he lifted me and carried me to his bed. Still gazing down intently into my eyes, he shifted aside the cream cotton duvet on his bed and gently placed me on top of the bed.

            I waited anxiously for him while he lowered his head to kiss me once more on my lips and then the tip of my nose. “You must be tired, Sam.”  He took off his robe, revealing soft black pajama bottoms that skimmed the bones of his hips and a bare tanned muscular chest and torso. I gulped. Collins McGregor had the body of a Greek god. On his chest was a tattoo of a black heart and angel wings.

            Collins smiled, noticing how I watched him. “Enjoying the view?”

            “What do you think?” I asked drily, blushing a little.

“Good,” he said, walking over to his dresser and pulling out a soft grey t-shirt and slipping it on.

            He went over to turn off the lights and slipped into bed next to me.

            Suddenly all I could feel was Collins in back of me, facing my back. He put his left arm over me and pulled me to him and kissed the back of my neck. “Now go to sleep.”

           
I
awoke to a room that was as big as my parents’ entire house.  The bed I was in felt like clouds, and the sheets around me were fragranced with a light clean linen smell. I turned around and was face to face with perfect high cheekbones, smooth lightly tanned skin, sensuous full lips, and icy blue eyes that regarded me with amusement.

            “It’s time you woke up, sleeping beauty,” he said, reaching over to take my hand and gently kissing my fingertips.

            I removed my hand from his lips and got up. “Did we, um…”

            Collins’ eyebrows lifted. “If we did, you would remember.”

            “Did I have anything to drink?” I paced around.

            “From what I remember… yes,” Collins smiled. “Coffee.”

            “Then how did I end up in bed with you?” I asked embarrassed at first but more frustrated than anything.

            “I put you in bed,” Collins said. “Then you were out like a light.” He sat up, and all I can see were the muscles rippling underneath his shirt and the way his pajama pants were hanging on his hips. Lola was making a sign with her fingers indicating he was scorching hot. Serious Susan was trying to look busy at first but ended up taking all of Collins in.

            I kept staring at him.

            He got out of bed and came over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. His expression went from amused to concern. “Oh, baby, you’re trembling like a leaf.” He pulled me to him and held me tightly. “Is it because you thought something happened between us? We both wanted to, but we didn’t. Nothing happened, I swear.”

            “What was I thinking?” I whispered so close to his chest, my head facing down.

            “Don’t you remember? You texted me early this morning about wanting to come see me. You didn’t give any details in the text, but when you got here, we…” his mouth turned up into a smile, “kissed a lot, but we didn’t do anything.”

            “Why not?” I asked blushing.  I was relieved but disappointed at the same time, and I hated my mixed reaction. 

            “Trust me, Sam, I wanted to,” Collins’ eyes grew darker and more intense. “I wanted to so badly, but it was the first time we’ve seen each other for weeks, and you haven’t given me an answer on the pledge.”

            I swallowed, remembering why I had driven over. My parents had a fight last night, and I heard my father accuse my mother of sleeping around before I was born and that he didn’t think I was his baby. All the realization of why he treated me the way he did and his hang-ups about me kissing or dating a boy, made sense. The Billy Incident when I was 13 had scared him so much that he believed I would turn into a “whore” as he called my mother.

            “My father…” I began.

            “What baby?” Collins said, pulling me in closer.

            “My father never wanted me,” I said. “He never wanted to marry my mother except that he thought I was his, but he always had doubts.”

            “Oh baby, I’m sorry,” Collins said, kissing my temple and my cheeks.

            “That’s why their marriage sucked so badly. That’s why my mother drank herself drunk all the time.” I looked up at Collins, guilt etched all over my face. I stopped myself, my eyes widened, and the feeling of shame washed over me. I had spilled my family’s secrets to someone else, to Collins McGregor. Not only that, but I had driven to see him because I wanted to spite my father. I wanted to rub it into his face that I was going to sleep with someone worldly, someone who had probably had hundreds of partners, someone who would probably toss me aside once he got tired of me, someone like Collins McGregor.

            “Samantha,” Collins said gently, “it’s not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for the actions of your parents.”

            “Collins, I didn’t mean to tell you all that,” I said.

            “Sam,” Collins said, leading me over to the bed to sit down. “Come here,” he tugged at me until I was sitting on his lap. He raised my chin with his finger so I could look at his icy blue eyes. “I know why you’re here.” His eyes flashed anger, but he said, “I’m not happy with how I can be used to get back at your parents. I should be angry at that, Sam. But I’m not. For some reason, my wanting to see you mattered more than how I felt about me.” He took a deep breath. “I missed you, Sam. When you left, all I could think about was how could I get you back? How could I keep seeing you?”

            I tried looking down, but he held my face in place as we looked at each other. “Collins, I didn’t mean to…I wanted to see you,” I sighed, and then my lips began trembling as I let a tear fall down my cheek. “It’s been hard walking away from you. I wanted to call you, I wanted to see you again, but I couldn’t.” I continued. “The first day when I left, I could barely get up from bed. If it wasn’t for my work, I wouldn’t be able to function.” My lips were quivering now, and he took his thumb to gently stroke them.

            “I’m sorry,” dropping his hand from my face and pulling me in so my head was lying on his chest. His hand reached up to play with my hair, stroking it gently. “I was afraid that would happen. I was going too fast, and you’re so innocent.”

            I shook my head. “No, Collins, that wasn’t it.”

            “Then what is it?”

            I began trembling as I thought about telling him what it was. It was something I couldn’t remember, something that had frightened me so much that I had unconsciously blocked it out.

            “It’s okay, baby,” Collins held me close again. “You don’t have to tell me.” He kissed my forehead, my nose, and then my lips, while stroking my back. Collins was so sweet, so gentle with me.

 I looked up into his warm icy blue eyes and leaned in, gently kissing his bottom lip and then his top lip.  He closed his eyes, and I pulled his face closer as I kissed him harder, more passionately.

He groaned and kissed me back, before he pulled away. “Sam,” he said, jumping up. “I can’t hold back if you keep doing this.”

I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows at him, “Do what?” I asked him, suddenly thirsty. Before my tongue could shoot out to lick my lips, he was already kissing me, pushing me down on the bed, and raising my hands out above me, entwining his fingers in mine.

“God, you’re so sexy,” he said, kissing my jawline down to my cleavage where he had now began blowing on my skin, sending tingles up and down my spine.  “I want to take you out tonight,” he said. “What are you planning to do? Stay with your parents?”

“I can’t go back,” I said. “I’m so mad at them.”

“Technically, you should go back,” Collins said. “Your mother would be worried.”

“She’ll be too drunk to notice I’m gone,” I said. I got up off the bed and stood up. “I’m eighteen now, Collins, and I’ve always been more of an adult than my mother.”

“You should at least let her know where you are,” Collins said. “I don’t want anyone thinking I kidnapped you.”  He walked over to where my phone was, picked it up, and handed it to me.  “At least text her.”

I called and got her voicemail. “Mom, it’s me. If you’re wondering where I am, I’m at Collins’ house. Talking.”  I  ended the call and looked up. “Satisfied?”

“Sorta,” he said, pulling me to him to lay a kiss on the top of my head. “I won’t ever be satisfied until you’re with me, Sam.” 

“I still haven’t signed the pledge,” I made a face at him, “I don’t see why there needs to be one like in other normal relationships.”

“That’s because of who and what I am,” Collins said calmly. “I take risks all the time, Sam, calculated risks. That’s the way I am in everything.  That’s how I got to be where I am today,” he walked over to his closet near the bathroom. I followed him. “Why do dating services have people fill out applications and preferences? So it’s the best chance for them to find a person who fit them.” He pulled off his shirt, and walked over to pick out a pale blue shirt. I watched him, riveted to his tanned, toned body. Oh, how he fits each of my preferences. Lola nodded, while Serious Susan took notes.

 He turned and I was facing his well-defined sculpted back. As he slid one arm through the sleeves of the shirt and the other, I noticed a small tattoo on his right shoulder…a beautifully intricate one of an ancient-looking warrior’s knife. He looked over, and smiled. “This is where I say please turn around.”

I smiled back, feeling bold. “And deny me a vision I want to carry with me all day through classes and work? Never.”

He smiled sweetly, showing me that little boy with angelic curly blonde hair and icy pale blue eyes, “Not today, Sam.” He twirled his fingers, indicating for me to turn around. “You should get dressed.”

I walked out of the closet, out of his bedroom and into the living room looking for my suitcase. 

“Hi Miss Sullivan, I’m Mrs. Anderson,” a woman in her fifties with strawberry blonde hair and wearing a white shirt and black skirt approached me. “Would you care for breakfast?”

My stomach rumbled in response.

She smiled, “I take that as a ‘yes’.”  She set a plate of fruit and a fluffy croissant, cheese, and ham sandwich in front of me, along with a large glass of orange juice. I took a bite of the sandwich and ate appreciatively.

“This is delicious,” I said, enjoying the lightness of the croissant and the tangy sweet and salty flavors of the smoked ham and rich cheese. I took another bite, as Mrs. Anderson placed a napkin on the table.

“Good morning, Mrs. Anderson,” Collins said, sliding into the seat next to me, dressed in a navy suit and a royal blue silk textured tie. He was dashingly handsome, and reminded me of the first time I met him, at school.

“You look nice,” I said, smiling at him, and feeling a strange pride that I was the girl he wanted a relationship with.

“And you’re not dressed yet,” Collins said. “You don’t have much time or you’ll be late.”  I rolled my eyes at him, he was so bossy. “Miss Sullivan…” Oh, is it Miss Sullivan again?  “Eat up and go get dressed. I believe Mrs. Anderson’ s already set your clothes up in the closet.”

“Closet? Yours?” I asked.

“Sam,” Collins said. “We’re not going to share a bedroom. You’ll be sleeping in the guest room.”

I must have looked disappointed because he reached over and touched my hand. “As much as I would like to have you in my room with me all the time, I expect you would want your own space, too. Now eat up and get dressed.”  He got up after gulping down his breakfast and draining his glass of orange juice. “I’ll meet you back here when you’re dressed and ready to go,” he said, heading off to another part of the house.