Authors: Lesley Jones
Shit,
don’t let me cry, not now, I have mascara on, I will look a mess. I swallow and simply nod, too scared to attempt speech, in case the tears escape.
~
Charlie's house is set out similar to Gabe’s, with the living areas upstairs so as to be able to enjoy the views. He leads us up and into the huge open kitchen/family room. I try straight away to work out who is who before the introductions start. Gabe’s Dad is on us instantly. He gives Gabe a hug, and then turns straight to me.
“This
is Lauren dad, my erm…” He looks at me and trails off, “Lauren, my Dad, Charlie Wilde” What’s that all about. What am I then, nothing? Thanks Gabe for the reassurance, just when I needed it most. Cheers. I plaster on my smiley face, after I shoot Gabe a look that lets him know I am well and truly pissed off with him.
Charlie
moves straight in for a kiss on the cheek then a handshake.
“Lauren,
good to meet you, glad you could make it. Which team do you go for?”
Knowing
he was talking about AFL I deliberately say “West Ham, actually”
“
Ha, yeah. Don't think they're playing in today's final”
“
Well in that case, the Swans”
“
No way. You've got to be loyal to your state, it’s gotta be the Hawks”
I
know little about Aussie Rules, my Dad, Jay and the boys never followed it, the round ball game of football was more their thing and of course rugby, but the little knowledge I do have, I put to use.
“
Well that's true but the Swans were originally South Melbourne Footie Club before they moved to Sydney in the 80’s to promote the game up there”
He
looks from me to Gabe and smiles and nods, “ahhh a Pom who knows her Aussie rules, I like it”
Next
we say hello to Zac and his wife Sam.
“So,
The Angel Gabriel has finally had to do the chasing ehh, Lauren? Good on ya. It's been a pleasure to finally see him fall apart over a woman these past few weeks”
Sam
shakes her head at him.
“
Sorry Lauren, ignore him, he's just forgotten what that first flush of love is like, not got a romantic bone in his body. It's good to meet you; the pair of you will have to come over for dinner soon”
“Yeah”
I say, “thanks, that sounds good” I watch as she touches Gabe on one cheek with her hand and kisses him gently on the other. “You look good Gabe, I'm so pleased to see you this happy” he smiles at her and gives her a hug. Strangely, I don't feel the least bit jealous, it’s more of a brother and sister display of affection between them and it makes me instantly warm to Sam.
Cooper
and Jen are equally as nice but I sense Gabe’s nowhere near as close to this sister in law. I hear a commotion behind me and see a young woman coming down the stairs two at a time. She totally ignores Gabe and says, whilst trying to get her breath, “Lauren, oh my God, so good to meet you, I'm Stella” she hugs me before I can reply
“So
glad you could make it, would you like a drink? Gabe hi, does Lauren have a drink?” I turn towards him; his eyebrows are raised as he looks at me.
“
I'll get you a drink shall I baby?”
“
Ohhh I’m your baby now am I? Glad we’re clear on that fact, yes that would be good please; I would love a drink… Baby”
“Lauren,
I didn’t know what to say, how to introduce you, you’re more than a girlfriend, much more than that and I didn’t know what title to use to express the fact, I knew you would be pissed at me, sorry”
He
shrugs and looks at me from under his lashes, with puppy dog eyes “Forgive me?” He kisses me gently on the mouth.
“Go,
get me a wine, then I will think about it” I can’t help but smile as I watch him heading over to the fridge. I realise we have an audience when Zac starts to slow clap.
“Oh
my fucking god, I do not believe this, the boy has got it bad, what have you done with my brother Lauren and who’s this pussy?”
Sam
slaps Zac gently on the chest as Stella says “I told you, didn’t I, I told you how he sounded on the phone and how he speaks about her” Helloooo I am here.
The
apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree with this family. The three boys look very much like their dad but with darker skin, Gabe, obviously, is the most handsome and he's taller and slightly more muscular. Stella is like her brothers in looks but her hair is darker, Ava looks a lot like her. They all have the blue eye thing going on, with Gabe and Stella having the very brightest blue. They are also all very outspoken, honest and have no filter when it comes to making comments.
“
He called you baby again” Stella comments, “does he always call you baby, what is it you drink, looks like he's getting you a wine, oh yeah, he had a case of your favorite delivered yesterday, Jackie wasn't pleased. She said there's nothing wrong with the wine that she had bought. So you’re an interior designer? I could use some help with my place, you will have to come and have a look at it for me, I watch the block and all of those make over programs but I just can’t pull it all together, it never looks like it does on TV, mind you, there’s lots of things I’m not too great with, men being the main one of them, you will have to give me some tips on how you do it, you must have something special if you have got my brother falling at your feet, I thought he would just stay a single man whore for the rest of his life” Surely she needs to come up for air soon? I thought I could talk a lot but jeez, I was no competition for Stella. Gabe is back beside me, he passes me my wine, and I take a very large sip as I watch him do the same with his beer. We are leaning back on the huge granite kitchen island, he has his arm around me, and I am leaning into him, for protection possibly. Stella is just watching us intently now. Possibly thinking of her next line of interrogation. The rest of the family have switched their attention to the huge plasma on the wall, they all begin to shout louder and louder at a horse race being shown. Gabe becomes distracted as he cranes his neck to watch. In the end I lead him by the hand over to where he can see the TV. “Is this one of yours?” I ask
“Yeah
, we have two racing in Sydney today… Come on!” He yells with the rest of them, I love horse racing when you have a vested interest in a race and the way people cheer their horse on. The whole lot of them gets louder and louder still and then they really shout and cheer as the horse comes in first.
“Yes
” Shouts Gabe “You beauty” he turns to me and gives me a kiss. We are in a room full of people but I can't help the desire that runs through me.
“Get
a grip and get a room” Zac calls out but Gabe is already pulling away from me, looking over my shoulder towards the stairs. My eyes follow to where he's looking, there's a dark haired woman staring right at us. I feel him tense and for the first time since knowing him, I watch as his eyes become like ice, this must be Jackie and he really doesn't like her!
She's
tall with unnaturally jet black hair, her eyes are green with no warmth to them, her skin is dark, too dark, fake, and she is wearing a lot of makeup.
She
heads straight for us, not taking her eyes off me.
“Gabriel,
good to see you and this must be Lauren, is it? Glad you could join us” I don't believe she means that for a minute, her stare is cold, her tone icy, I can't quite put my finger on it but there's something off. She's still got her eyes on me as she offers her hand, I'm far too polite to do anything other than smile.
“
Hi Jackie” as I take it and then I watch her as she leans in to kiss Gabe on the cheek, he leans back, out of her reach, I can feel his whole body tense, he really doesn’t like this woman. She steps back and looks at him, up and down, then right into his eyes and there it is, I know that look, I've been watching it on women's faces for years, when they've looked at my husband and my sons as they have gotten older but more recently I have seen it almost constantly these past weeks, on the face of just about every woman that's looked at Gabriel. It's desire. She fucking fancies her own stepson. Is that why he has issues with her? Wow, that has to be awkward for him and wrong on so many levels, she’s his step Mum for crying out loud, she’s been with Charlie since Gabe was just fifteen, fifteen, my eyes fly to meet his. My heart stutters in my chest and my stomach roils. Fifteen, no, no way? I am aware of the sound of air or my own blood or something, rushing through my ears, blocking out all other sound, I lean back with one hand on the bench as a million different thoughts hit my brain.
It was her, do the math, she's the one, it adds up. No, surely not.
Sam appears at my side, but I ignore her, I need to focus on this horrible, nasty, little thought that has now popped into my overactive mind.
50-35=15,
he said he was fifteen; Fifteen years old when he got his first blow job. From an older woman, it was her, his own step mother.
No, surely not, I’ve got this all wrong, I must have it wrong, I really want to be wrong but what if I haven’t? Was it him or was it her that instigated it, did it matter, did they have sex?
No,
I’ve got it wrong, he wouldn’t, she wouldn’t, she wouldn’t. I’m wrong, I’ve got to be wrong.
I
can barely breathe, all these thoughts are banging around my brain in a matter of seconds and I feel unsteady on my feet. I gulp my wine as sound starts to penetrate my ears again and I hear her say.
“
... Well okay but it’s good you could make it today, you know it's always good to see you Gabriel, we don’t see you enough, I was saying this to your Father just yesterday” she reaches out and puts her hand on his forearm but he moves it away as I look up at him.
Game over, I want to be sick. My blood runs cold.
“Lauren, we'll have a proper catch up in a bit, I need to start getting some food organised for my hungry family”
I
manage a slight smile.
He
very slowly raises his eyes from his arm where she touched him, up to meet mine again and as soon as he looks at me, my worst fears are absolutely confirmed. His own fucking step mother. Unconsciously, I’m shaking my head at him and he knows that I know. I feel sick, I feel dizzy, I'm hot, I'm cold, and my legs are barely holding me up. My blood feels like it’s being drained from my body and replaced with something else, what, what is it running through my veins? I don’t know but it’s as cold as ice and burns like fuck. My head is swimming; I feel like I might actually pass out. How could I have been so stupid? This is all just a game to him, how many others, how many more married women have there been? But that's not the issue, that's not what's made my stomach churn, it’s her and him together, his own stepmother. How could he do that, with her and knowing that he had, how could he let me walk in here, into the middle of all this, why did he bring me here? I want to leave, I want to run far, far away. He whispers from beside me “Lauren, please let me...”
“
Don't” I say through gritted teeth “Just don't Gabe” a tear rolls down my cheek as I blink and I quickly brush it away before anyone notices. I’m hurt and I am so fucking angry with him but mostly at myself, what a fucking idiot I have been, I just want to get out of here, but I need to calm myself first. I turn and walk over to the fridge, I take out the bottle, intent on pouring myself a very large glass of my favorite wine, the wine that my oh so thoughtful 'Baby' has had delivered especially for me, I actually feel bile rise in my throat and I swallow to keep it down. My hot sweaty palms grip around the bottle. I take deep breaths and try again to clear my head, as I turn around Sam is beside me, she takes the bottle out of my hand and pours my drink, she passes my glass back to me and picks up her own and fills it. She looks at me and says “Lauren, it wasn't his fault”
What.
She knows? Do they all know? Does Charlie know? What sort of fucked upness have I walked into here? I frown at her. My thoughts are spinning out of control. “Let’s go upstairs and look at the view, we can talk up there”
Zac
is standing with Gabe and they are both staring at us, Gabe looks devastated. Sam takes my hand and leads me up the stairs. There's a huge rumpus room up there and about ten kids of various ages all running around, playing pool, on the computer, or playing on a play station game; its chaos, the noise is deafening, like a school play yard. Sam shouts “hey kids, hope you’re all behaving” they all nod in affirmation and some verbally state that they are. Like a kid would fess up and say, noooo I’m being really bad, I almost giggle at my thoughts but it’s because of nerves, not because I’m particularly funny. We head out the doors to the balcony blocking out the noise as we close them. I take in a few deep breaths, it’s cold outside, but it feels good and my head starts to clear, “I knew, as soon as you looked at her, looking at him, that you knew something had gone on. If that at all makes sense?”
I
nod saying only “God I need a smoke”
She
pulls a box out of her pocket. “Shit yeah, I thought you would never mention it” she passes me a cigarette and pulls out one for herself and lights them. We both take a sip on our drinks and look out at the view. We stand in silence for a few minutes.