Saviour (21 page)

“The
look on your face Lauren, it only took you a split second of looking from me to her and you knew, no one else would have guessed that, but you did and I feel ashamed for what you went through back there, I can only imagine how much that must have hurt. I could see it in the look on your face, I never want to be responsible for that look again, and I am so sorry that happened baby, I wish I had never set eyes on the woman but I can't change things, it happened and when I very least expected it to, my past has come back to bite me on the arse and I'm sorry that you had to be involved, I would do anything for that not to be the case. Anything but it is what it is and I can’t change it, I’m a fuck up Lauren, it was wrong, what I did, was wrong, I knew she was married” Again he rakes his hand through his hair with one hand and leans onto the balcony with the other “I don’t want to lose you over this Lauren but I’m glad you know, I wish you had found out differently but I’m glad you know, I don’t want there to be secrets between us, total honesty Lauren, always”

I
say nothing, digesting, absorbing all that he's just told me. I've had nearly naked sixteen year old boys in my house, I know firsthand how hot they can be and how cheeky and charming, the things they say to try and impress, what's the term my boys use? Flanter. Flirty Banter, equals Flanter. Teenage boys, they say things, they push their luck, but for fucks suck I've never acted on it. Her children are similar ages to mine; her son must be just a few years younger than Gabe, that's just wrong, so wrong. I know Gabe was wrong for having an affair with a married woman but if he’s telling the truth, which I think he is, she was an older, married woman and she pursued him, he’s not blameless but he’s not entirely to blame either; all said and done, what happened today isn’t Gabe’s fault, it’s not Karen’s fault and I can't change what happened in the past; today was unfortunate but its old news, so, where to now, how do we move on? I don't want to be jealous. But I am, I can't help it, he's hot and fucking gorgeous, and I hate other women looking at him as much as I love it, it would be different if I could say ‘Fuck of bitch, he’s mine’ but I can’t, because I don’t know yet that he is. I want to trust him. I do trust him, I think. But I do not trust other women. I find him irresistible and I am pretty sure every other woman with a pulse does too!

“I
don't want you working there” Is all I can think of saying.

“Lauren,
I wouldn't be working there, I don't know what you think I do but most of my work is done either from the office or I am moving from site to site, I don’t do the hands on stuff anymore” He raises his eyebrows and smirks a little as he says this, yeah I get it, hands on, you’re a funny fucker Wilde and yes you have just totally turned me on, just with words, again. My skin burns.

“I
will send someone out to price the job up and a project manager to run things, I am interested in getting the work because her husbands a celebrity and it gets our name out there but I don't have to have any direct contact with her for that to happen”

I'm
hot, in a too much sun kind of way, not a sex kind of way, well yeah, a sex kind of way too, the hands on thing got that going, but I am also extremely pissed off, with him, with her, with myself. Today started off so beautifully and now I just feel ... bla. It's like every day there's something and we've only been together a week. A week, what a week, a complete roller coaster of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. My world has been turned on its head and for some reason; don't ask me why, I suddenly wonder how Jason is doing.

If
I'm feeling shit despite having Gabe by my side... Although right now I’m really not sure if he's a help or a hindrance to my emotional state....if I have Gabe and still feel like this and Jay has no one, how must he be feeling? My world is so totally fucked up.

I
walk through the house, go down to the pool, take off all my clothes and jump in. I stay under the water until my lungs burn and feel like they will burst; when I surface Gabe is on the side about to jump in.

“What
the fuck are you doing?” He shouts at me, he has an almost frantic look on his face.

“It’s freezing in there Lauren, the solar’s not been on, grow the fuck up and get out”

I really can't be bothered to answer him, I'm drained, exhausted, my brain needs to have a rest from thinking so I just go under again.

I
swim up and down until I feel considerably calmer. I'm still pissed off but not as much as I was. As I calm, I remember I'm naked, I want to get out but I don't want to give him an eyeful, he doesn't deserve it, well he might but I'm feeling petulant and don't want him to. Gabe’s lying up the wrong way on a sun lounger watching me, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth now, he’s obviously calmer now too. My clothes are lying in a pile right in front of him, there's no way I'm getting out and standing there naked. He's lying on his belly, with his hands under his chin. He knows I'm fucked so I call out

“Would
you please get me a towel?”

The
fucker shakes his head. Okay so don’t, I'll just keep swimming. There are clouds beginning to gather in the sky now and the wind is getting up. A cool change is forecast for tonight and I can feel it in the air. I swim up and down a couple of more times,

“Are
you not getting cold Lauren and tired?” He asks with the hint of a smile on his face, he knows I’m probably cold, my lips are probably blue, both pairs.

“No
, I'm fine”

“Would
you like me to get you a towel?”

“
No thanks, you can poke your towel up your arse. When you go in, I'll get out” he smiles and shakes his head,

“
I’m going nowhere baby; I could lay here and watch you all night” Bastard!

I have no idea what the time is when I eventually step out of the pool, freezing cold, wrinkled... more so than usual and probably a nice shade of blue, trying to look as if I hadn't given it a second thought, I walk up the steps of the pool, past Gabe and into the house, stark naked. I am freezing, so head straight into the shower, my skin tingles as the almost scolding water hits it but as I rinse the conditioner out of my hair, it’s a different kind of tingle, and I know he is there, even before he starts to rub shower gel into my shoulders, I am too drained to respond and I just stand with my arms at my sides and let him wash me from head to toe, in complete silence. He turns off the water and wraps me in a towel and dries me, he guides me over to the sink where he uses a face wipe to remove the last traces of my makeup. He squirts my body lotion into his hand and rubs that in all over me, I’m actually quite turned on, but I still don’t react, I am enjoying this far too much and do not want it to end. He puts cream on my face, deodorant under my arms and then drags the comb through my hair. He has put a towel around his waist and I can see his erection twitching through it and can’t help but smile. He catches me and looks down at himself and smiles too, looking back up to my eyes as he whips the towel away and wiggles his eyebrows, I shake my head, roll my eyes and I sigh as I look at him, he is such a boy sometimes. He leads me by the hand to the bed, pushing me back on it.

“
Now that your little show of defiance is over, let’s play. Where are your toys Lauren?”

“What
? What toys?”

“Sex
toys, where are they? I don’t really want to use your old ones, but since we haven’t had the pleasure to go and shop for our own, your old ones will have to do”

Shit,
we are going to shop for sex toys? Can’t wait.

“I
only have one; it’s in my suit case next door”

Toys
weren’t really a part of my old sex life so I just had the one little BOB to help me out every now and then, not that Jay knew anything about it. And yet here’s Gabe, wanting to take me shopping for sex toys. Oh Lordy, what this boy does to me.

He
goes off into the guest room and returns with my little, well large actually, BOB and he has a wicked smile on his face as he looks at me and turns it on, instantly turning me on.

“This
is for you Lauren, I’ve put you through shit today and I am sorry and want to make it up to you, so I am going to give you a short, sharp orgasm, then I am going to bury myself as deeply as I can inside you and beg for your forgiveness. Is that okay?”

I
nod, incapable of speech.

“Lay
back, put your feet up on the edge of the bed and open your legs, this won’t take long, enjoy it baby”

He
kneels on the floor between my legs; he pushes one finger inside me.

“Fuck
Lauren, always so wet for me”

Oh
God this could be quicker than even he was expecting! He circles his index finger around inside me, pulls it out wet and gently guides it into my arse, he pushes the vibrator into me and moves it around so that its pushing against the front wall of my insides…right on my Gspot, it must take all of a minute and I’m done!

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Sunday
is busy, I take my first peek in Ava's room, just to make sure everything is in order for her arrival. Gabriel has told me she used to use the upstairs guest room but now she's older and usually brings a friend she uses one of the downstairs rooms.

It's
a great sized room; two queen beds, a sofa, and plasma on the wall, a couple of chests of drawers and a decent sized walk in wardrobe. Much classier than the bright orange record player and chunky portable TV with a wire coat hanger for an antenna that I had as a thirteen year old. The walls are painted a soft pink and the couch is in the shape of a bright red pair of lips, there’s also a couple of a hot pink bean bags. All very girlie.

I
do notice though, there's nothing personal about it, no pictures, no posters. I assume she has all of that type of thing on her walls at home, at her mums, but still.

I
sit on one of the beds, enjoying a moment alone to think. I hope that Gabe’s past involvement with Karen doesn't affect mine and hers working relationship. We've always worked well together and she obviously likes what I do, otherwise she wouldn't keep asking me back. I'll set to work on her job during the week, but, I've had an idea for this room first and I don't have long to get it sorted.

I
wander back upstairs, it’s much cooler today, Gabe is wearing a pair of grey trackies and a blue hoodie and even this casual he looks hot and I get that little ripple of desire run through me, especially as his hoodie has risen up and I can just see a bare band of flesh around the top of his backside and just a hint of butt crack, since when was arse crack sexy I wonder. I take a deep breath, we have to leave the house soon otherwise we will end up back in bed for the rest of the day and as much as I would like nothing better, we have lots to do, all this sex is great, a fantastic distraction from the real world, but today is a day of reality, it’s not about us, it’s about having the house ready for Ava, Gabe’s thirteen year old daughter, his princess and her friend Sophie, who are coming to stay for a week. A week with two thirteen year old girls, quite frankly, I am terrified! I contemplate how this will go as my eyes roam over Gabe’s long, toned form.

He's
lying on the floor on his belly, flicking through the newspaper and listening to Sky News on the television.

“Do
you have any photos of you and Ava or just of Ava?”

He
looks up from his newspaper at me, those blue eyes meet mine and my heart leaps to my throat, I really have to get a grip on how I react to his stare, it’s just a look, nothing else but it makes my insides twist into knots and my skin heat regardless.

“Of
course I do, there all in my office or on the computer, haven't you been in there?”

“No
, no I haven’t”

“Why
? Feel free to use the desk top and the printer and anything else you need to, this is your home too now remember”

He
rolls over onto his back as he's talking and pushes himself up on his elbows, his long legs stretched out and crossed in front of him and he looks at me, in that way and I know what's going through his mind, his eyes become hooded and very intense when he's turned on, I've learnt to recognise this quickly as he seems to be turned on most of the time, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bad thing, nope, not at all.

“Come
here” He holds his hand out to me. I walk over and straddle him, aware of a thrumming, a vibration that’s already happening between my legs as I sit on the tops of his thighs, trying to avoid contact between anything that will get him… Who am I kidding? Us, too excited. He sits all the way up and bends his knees so I wrap my legs around his waist and lean back. He kisses me and I feel drugged, like I can barely keep my eyes open. His tongue flicks into my mouth, his hand is in my hair, holding my head in place so I can't back away. His other hand has slid under my sweat shirt and is stroking my bare skin, up and down my spine; I can already feel my toes curling.

He
pulls my hoodie off over my head so I do the same to him, kissing his shoulders, his neck, and his chest as I do. He lifts my hips so he can pull my trackies down. I lift my bum so he can lower them. I'm overly aware of the fact that because of the way we're sitting, he can see my spare tyre around my belly and I'm feeling very self-conscious. It’s killing me not to cross my arms over my middle and I look over his shoulder and not into his eyes, because he will know that I am not happy. He lifts us both up as he pulls his own trackies down and takes them off. Mine are bunched around the tops of my legs so I swing one leg over his head and pull them off.

“I
didn't realise you were so bendy Ms Day” He says with a smile

“Yeah
, well, there's lots you still don't know about me Mr Wilde, I'm full of surprises me”

“That
you are, turn around”

“
What?

“Turn
around and stick that beautiful arse in the air, I want to fuck you from behind”

I
don't even argue, I swing round, drop my shoulders and point my arse in the air facing him. He slaps me, hard across my bum cheek and I jump

“
Owww” I shriek but he rubs where he's slapped me and as he does, he slips a couple of fingers inside me as he says “Shush baby, this will be good”

He
leans over me and kisses, bites and grazes his teeth down my back and over my arse cheeks. He uses his thumbs to pull me apart, exposed to him. Oh God, what’s he going to do, is he looking at me, inspecting me?

“Open
your legs wider and push your arse higher for me”

I
lay my face flat on the floor, my head turned to one side, my arms out in front of me, I tilt my arse and open my legs as wide as I can, just like he’s asked. He pushes his thumb inside me, saying “you’re so fucking wet Lauren, I will never get tired of how wet you always are, I fucking love it. Fuck my thumb baby, just relax, and fuck back on it”

Oh
God, his words, the things he says to me, nothing's held back, he just says it and my head and my body are just swimming with desire as pleasure runs through me. He strokes two fingers forward and rubs my clit, then pulls them back and pushes them inside me, then out again, and further back, rubbing my juices around my other hole. God it feels good but I'm still not convinced I want to go there.

“Gabe
no, I don't like that, please stop”

He
stops instantly, without saying a word and instead moves himself into position and pushes his cock deep inside me. He reaches round and rubs my clit with one hand and his other is holding my belly pushing me back against him as he drives into me from behind. I'm trying to focus but I am a little bit thrown, he obviously wants anal and I don’t want to let him down, but I am just not sure about it and I’m a little disappointed with myself for not being brave enough to go there, and I wish he would let go of my belly, it must feel awful in his hand, and because I’m now on all fours it must just be wobbling all over the place as he bangs into me from behind. This is the first time I haven’t been lost in the moment during sex with him, I just can’t seem to enjoy it, I can't have him holding my belly like this, it does nothing to turn me on.

That’s it I think to myself, as soon as I get the money from the Palmer job, I’m getting a tummy tuck. I will use Karen Palmers money to make me feel better when I’m with Gabe, is that wrong? Yeah, I think it probably is. Fuck, now I’m pissed off as thoughts of him and Karen Palmer enter my head.

“For
fucks sake Gabe” I say out loud, possibly a little too harshly, I pull his hand off my belly and put it on my hip. He stops... Dead, and pulls out of me. I collapse face down on the floor and curl up on my side, facing away from him. Shit, I bet I've pissed him off now. He lies down beside me, and I think he’s propped up on one elbow as I can feel his breath on the back of my head, I know his eyes are on me, and I know he's waiting for me to look at him. This is cringe worthy, I'm so embarrassed. He runs his fingers down my naked spine and my skin is instantly covered in goose bumps. Very quietly he says

“Are
you going to turn around and talk to me?”

“No
”

“Why
?”

I
reach out, with my eyes still closed, very childish I know, and feel around for some clothes, all I can find is his hoodie so I pull it over my head, still facing away from him, I pull it down over my knees and curl back up into a ball.

“Please
talk to me Lauren”

I
shake my head.

He
climbs over me and as he starts to lie down to face me; I turn the other way, back away from him.

“Oh
very mature Lauren”

H
e pulls me back by my shoulder and straddles me, lifting my chin so I have to look at him.

“What
happened? What did I do wrong, I stopped when you told me to and then you’re snatching my hands off you, like you can’t bare me touching you. So what was it? Tell me. We're a couple Lauren, we're supposed to communicate, this is all new for both of us. You don't like me touching your arse, you told me and I stopped, that's fine, you communicated, no problem, we'll have a chat about anal and such another time, that’s cool, but then, then I'm having the time of my life, banging into you with all I've got and loving every fucking second of it and thinking you’re feeling the same, about to blow my load and you pull my hands off you, without a word of warning, no stop, no please don't, nothing, just ‘For fucks sake Gabe’ so can you please tell me what I did?”

We
will chat about anal and such later? Blow his load? Are the words galloping around my head, we will chat about anal, seriously?

What’s
the big deal? It wasn't that bad, I only moved his hand. What’s his problem? I didn’t tell him to stop; I just moved his hand off my belly, God, talk about over reaction. Communicate? Communicate what? I don’t want him touching my belly, is that what he wants me to say? And now he looks upset, shit. “You had hold of my belly” I say it very quietly, embarrassed now at my own over reaction

“I
had hold of your belly? So all of a sudden you don't want me touching your belly? I was kissing your belly yesterday; I was stroking your belly the day before. So why suddenly can't I touch it?”

“
It’s fat”

“It’s
fat? Your belly’s fat so I can't touch it?”

“Yes”

“Your belly's not fat, your belly's beautiful, I love your belly. You've grown two babies in that belly, and that’s part of what makes you who you are, it's part of you, I love your belly because it’s part of you. I love every inch of your body and I love touching it, please don't ever be in any doubt about that”

And
the tears start again, I'm not sobbing or even crying really, I just have tears. I’m such an idiot, I’ve behaved like a child and a bitch and an idiot and all for nothing, once again, I need to get a grip and sort my shit out before I lose him. This man, this beautiful, hot, sexy, sensitive man loves my body. He always has the right words, says the right things, I just can't believe that he's still single? If he is so attuned to women and how to say and do the right things around and to them, if he is so sensitive, why has he never been in love before, why has that never happened for him?

I
reach out and rub my hand over his stubble, he hasn't shaved all weekend, and I love how the two days growth looks and feels.

“I’m
sorry” I look down again as I say this, I'm burning with embarrassment. He lifts my chin back up so I look at him. His eyes are watching me, soft and gentle and I feel like I'm floating. I brush my fingers over his lips, his jaw, and his cheek, into his hair. He kisses me gently on the mouth.

“Please
don't ever stop me touching any part of you just because you think I'm not going to find it sexy. If you don't want me to touch you for other reasons, that’s fine, just say, like you did earlier but never because you’re worried about what I'm going to think, I hate that you have these hang ups Lauren, I hate that you think that you’re less than perfect, whatever you might think, just remember, I think you’re fucking gorgeous and you’re perfect to me” I nod as he uses his thumb to brush my tears away and then he tastes them, like he did that first night, which was only just over a week ago. 9 days, that's all it's been, 9 days that have rocked my world!

~

We
head out to the shops without having sex. I think he felt it was best to leave me alone after my shameful little tantrum. But he has told me he wants to chat about things later. That should be interesting!

I
spot a few pieces I want to buy to brighten the girls room up a bit more. Well brighten isn't the right word, you need your sunnies on before entering now with all that pink. No, it's more to personalise it. We pick up a couple of 1 Direction doona covers for the beds and a fantastic pink lava lamp, then I spot a pink and chrome iPod doc, something I had noticed in the room was the lack of anything to play music on and I know how much 13 year old girls love music .