Authors: Lesley Jones
“Lauren
, how you going? Thanks for driving up here at such short notice, come in, come in”
I
step inside an impressive entrance hall with a sweeping staircase to my right.
“We
only picked up the keys yesterday and I really want to crack on so we can have the place organised and ready to use by summer so I do hope you’re not busy?”
She
talks as she leads me up to an open plan living, dining and family room, it is huge, and it is truly awful! The wraparound balcony and views from the house are indeed spectacular but the kitchen cupboards, carpet, tiles and colour scheme are truly terrible and a throwback to the worst of the eighties. Actually, that's why this place probably appeals to Karen; she wouldn't look out of place on the set of Dynasty!
I
haven’t noticed she has stopped talking and is staring at me as thoughts of Crystal and Blake are running through my mind.
“What
on earth happened to your face Lauren, have you been in an accident, shit, I didn't drag you from your sick bed did I?”
“No
, no I'm fine; it’s nothing, just too much to drink after a night out with the girls and me not looking where I was going”
I
smile back at her. I know she doesn't believe me by the look she gives me. She's quiet for a moment before saying
“Oh
well, as long as you had a good night before hand”
“I
did, very memorable” I say, as thoughts of my first encounter with Gabriel Wilde spring to mind.
We
wander through the property. She wants the living areas revamped first, then the bedrooms and bathrooms. There are four with full en suits and two more without. There's a rumpus and games room downstairs, along with another small kitchen and wet bar leading out to the pool area.
She
gives me her thoughts on colours and styles but as always asks for my ideas. I take notes as I wander through, trying to get a feel for the place first, before making any decisions, which is the way I've always worked.
“I
was hoping Jason might have come with you, we need some work doing outside, as well as new tiles and bathrooms, and of course a new kitchen, I wondered if he would be interested in giving us a price.”
Jay
had worked on the family home and built an extension on the back for them, which they had been really pleased with.
I
don't know why I feel the need to tell her, it's like a trial run before telling friends and family so I just come out with it.
“
Actually, Jason and I are no longer together so you would have to call him directly if you want a quote or I could source quotes from other local builders if you want me to?”
Despite
everything, I would never take work away from Jay but there is no way I could have him working on this job alongside me, not yet any ways.
“Oh
no Lauren, what a shame, are you okay, are you coping?”
“Yeah,
yeah, I’m fine; it was me that left him actually”
“Right,
well, I always thought you looked very happy together, but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, but I am sorry Lauren, it’s always sad when a marriage breaks down, but I’m sure you have your reasons” Okay, time for a subject change
“Actually
I could get someone up here now, a builder I mean, if you know what it is you want doing” Gabe on the other hand, could work beside me anytime!
“Could
you, on a Saturday lunch time?”
“
Yeah, no worries just let me make a call”
I
call Gabe and ask if he can come and have a look at a potential job opportunity, I explain that it would be a very small job compared to what his company is used to doing but it’s for a high profile couple so it could be a great bit of networking and free publicity for them. He’s back in ten minutes. I'm out the front when he pulls up and despite the fact he's only been away an hour my belly flips and my heart quickens at the sight of him. He kisses me full on the mouth; I think he missed me too. I lead him upstairs to Karen,
“Karen
Palmer, this is Gabriel Wilde, the construction guy I was telling you about”
There's
silence. I stand there, grinning like an idiot, waiting for that familiar look, the look most women get when they look at him for the first time, second, third time even. I look from Karen to Gabe and back again. My scalp prickles and I feel nauseous, I think my legs are going to give way as the room begins to move around me, it doesn’t spin, it sort of rolls, slowly. My mouth is so dry; I lick my lips as cold, cruel realisation creeps over me. She is giving Gabe a very weak smile, but her eyes are saying something completely different, there is nothing weak about her stare, there is the lust and desire and the oh my God, he’s so hot look but there is something else, something more that I so wasn’t expecting and as I look once more from her to him and I see him look at me with complete and utter panic written all over his face, I know for sure, that it’s a look of recognition! I can feel sweat running down my back, despite feeling icy cold and all I can think is no. Please let me be wrong, please?
Karen
is the first to speak as she whispers.
“Gabe
?”
“Hey
Karen, how have you been?”
No,
no, no, no, no.
He's
fucked her. I don't believe it, he's fucked her, I just know it!
I
hadn't given him any details of my client other than that her name was Karen and that I had done previous work for her so he would have had no idea of what he was walking into. I swallow hard as tears prick my eyes, why am I getting upset? Like he keeps telling me, neither of us can change our pasts. It doesn’t stop it from fucking hurting though.
I
carry on as though their little reunion isn't happening.
“Karen
if you want to show Gabe the work you would like doing, I just need to walk around take some measurements and some photo’s”
I
walk away from them and go into the master bedroom. I lean back against the cold wall and slide down onto my bum and try and catch my breath. I can feel sweat on my top lip. Unfuckinbelievable! She and Steve have been married longer than me so he must have fucked her during her marriage. Ha, a married woman, why am I surprised that there have been other married women before me? Fuck you Gabriel; you really don't do things by half do you?
I
go and wait outside for them to finish out the back. My mind in overdrive thinking about what they’re talking about. What they have done together, in the past. I feel humiliated, upset, and very close to tears.
Gabe
comes through the front door first and I can't look at him when he comes and stands beside me, way too close and most definitely in my personal space. Karen stands in the door way, she looks flushed and her make-up is smudged around her eyes, I can only hope it’s from crying. I really need to get out of here, even if that does mean getting into the Ute with him, something I really do not want to do, I do not want to be anywhere near him right now.
“I’ll
get some samples sorted and call you” I say to her as I get in the Ute. She gives me a halfhearted smile and a nod; she actually looks devastated as she shuts the door. Gabe is in and has the engine started before I've even finished talking. I get in and close the door as he says “Lauren”
“Just
fucking drive”
“Lauren
please just let… ”
“Drive
the fucking car Gabe else I'm getting out and walking”
“Please
jus… ”
We
are out of her drive now and I just lose it
“Just
shut the fuck up Gabe, just for once, please, just shut up, I really don’t want to hear it” I am screaming like a banshee, tears streaming down my face, at least this time they have good reason to be crying.
He
does as I say and drives home in silence. I stare out of the window trying to organise my thoughts so they don’t leave my mouth as a garbled incoherent mess, when my capability to speak returns that is. I actually don’t know if I want to laugh or cry and all that's going through my head, over and over is, unfuckinbelievable!
I
go straight to the fridge and pour myself a wine. I pass him out a beer, I would really like to smash it over his fucking head right now. But, but that's really not the done thing is it. Is it?
“Lauren,
please let me explain, it was a long, long time ago”
I
walk away and he follows. I go to the bedroom and take his cigarettes out of his draw and go out onto the veranda to smoke. He takes one from the pack and joins me.
“You
fucked her didn't you?”
“Please
Lauren”
“
Just answer me Gabe DID YOU FUCK HER?” I shout, loudly
His silence speaks volumes
.
“So
what? Should I be worried? Is there still something there? Why was her face flushed and make up smudged, what were you doing out in the back yard?”
“What?
Nothing, talking, she was embarrassed, she cried and fuck Lauren no, you don't need to worry, there's nothing there, for her or any other woman, there's only you, you’re all I want, all I need, I told you earlier, your my life now. I was sixteen for Christ sake, it was nothing”
“
Well judging by the look on her face, it was much more than nothing Gabe, especially in light of the fact that it was such a long time ago. I would say, wouldn't you?”
I’m
pacing up and down the balcony as we speak. Am I making too much of this? It was a long time ago and just pure coincidence that they met up today, it’s not like he sought her out or anything. Am I making excuses for him, like I used to with Jay and his little slaps and put downs, fuck no, I am not going down that path again.
“It
was nothing, it meant nothing, it is nothing to me, she meant nothing, and she means nothing to me. I don't know how to make it any clearer to you”
I
drink my wine and hold my glass out to him, indicating I want more and he had better fucking well go and get it for me. Say no and see what happens, prick. I fucking dare you, is what the loo I give him is saying. He does exactly as he should, and I can’t help but smile, his shoulders are slumped and I watch him give out a deep breath as he turns his back and walks inside. Enough with the punishment, or should I make him suffer some more? I need to hear all of the facts first I think. He comes back with the bottle in a cooler and Bourbon for himself. We both smoke another cigarette in silence. If I wasn’t so fucking angry, this would actually be quite funny, I can imagine Gabe retelling this story and getting big laughs and much respect for it. So am I angry with him for having a past or am I angry at myself for being jealous about it? Two different issues, but he is being punished for both, well for now anyways. He starts to talk.
“We
had quite a privileged upbringing, the best private schools, overseas holidays; we had a lot of material things but no Mum to love us. My Dad was devastated when she died. We all were. She was five months pregnant with Stella, my little sister, when they found a tumour on my Mums’ spine. She refused treatment until after Stell was born” He gulps on his drink as his voice waivers and I feel so bad for being such a bitch, he continues “By then it was too late. It had spread to her bones and her lymph glands. It took her eighteen months to die. By then it had spread to her lungs and her brain. I knew she was dying but I was four for fucks sake. I had no concept of the finality of death; I didn't get what forever meant. It was harder on my brothers; they were older and had more idea about what was going on. Anyway, when she finally died, my Dad threw himself into work. He had inherited the business from my Mums’ Dad. He worked for my pop and married the boss’s daughter. Grandma and Pop had no sons so my Dad took over running things. When Mum died, he just wanted to make it into even more of a success, in her honour I suppose. Any way, he did exactly that, turning it into what it is today. For us boys it meant as soon as we turned thirteen, fourteen we were all expected to do our bit and it wasn't to be done in the office. We were all set to work with the tradies, weekends, school holidays, we were at work. When I was sixteen I was labouring for one of the bricklaying contractors that worked for us. They were renovating an old place in Glen Ira for some television personality. Anyway, there I was sixteen years old, working on a house reno’ during a Melbourne summer, so not wearing a lot. Karen Palmer, who was the wife of the client, was at the property quite a bit. There was lots of publicity at the time that Steve Palmer was shagging around, I was there on my own one Saturday morning having a clear up ready for the painters to start on the Monday, and she turns up, is was a shocker, about 30 degrees by 9o'clock so she calls me in and makes me a cold drink and we get chatting, an hour later she makes me another drink. I'm all done by 12 and as I say goodbye she asks if I wanna have a shower as I had told her earlier I was going straight to the beach to meet some mates. I'm hot, sweaty and dusty so I say yeah thanks, I'm in the shower and she gets in and joins me, without saying a word she gives me a blow job and gets out again. Over the course of the summer she doesn't leave me alone. We meet up any time we can. I'm 16 and getting to bang my brains out, seriously, she's up for anything, anywhere, so I'm happy to oblige. Summer ends, I go back to school and for me that's the end of it but she starts turning up outside the school, I walk out with a girl one night and she goes fucking mental and hits me when I get in the car so that's my lot, I don't need that shit. Over the next few months she bombards me, letters, phone calls, turning up at places she knows I will be. She just won't take no for an answer, in the end I threaten to tell her husband and my dad if she doesn't leave off.” He drags his hand through his hair and shakes his head at the memory. “It does the trick and I've never seen her since, till I walked in that house earlier” He squeezes his eyes shut, is he trying to recall the image or shake it from his brain, I must of looked so pathetic standing there, all smug about showing off my new hot man, boy, lover. And she had already been there, long before me, well that’ll teach me. And then he does the old mind reading thing again.