Scars: Book One (13 page)

I
awoke with my mouth dry, head thumping, and sunlight trying to sting its way
under my eyelids. I painfully cracked my eyes open to be faced with the cloth
of a car seat. I was lying on the back seat with drool pooling from my mouth.
The realization and disgust of that spurred me into action, and I groggily
struggled upright, wiping at my mouth before looking around me. The car door
was open, and I shuffled across the seat to edge my feet over the side.

It
was a clearing with trees forming a border and several picnic tables scattered
about. It was at one of these that Aaron sat, looking at something in his
hands. I inched unsteadily out of the car and made my way over to where he sat,
blinking against the sun. He was wearing sunglasses, but a small movement of
his head told me that he’d heard me coming.

I
sat across the table from him, the wooden bench seat hard underneath me. I saw
what he had in his hands – the dog collar. My hands went to my throat to
confirm that it was, indeed, gone. Aaron gave a small grin.

“Miss
it already?”

My
hands dropped. “No.” I looked around us; no one else was here. “Where are we?”

“It’s
a twenty minute drive to the nearest town. I’ll put you on a bus and then in a
couple of hours you’ll be home.”

I
frowned. Was this a trick?

“But,
I thought…”

“I
know what you thought. Don’t do anything to make me change my mind.” He shoved
the collar in his jacket pocket. “Let’s go over a few ground rules–“

“I
won’t tell anyone,” I said quickly. “I know what you are. I know what you’ll
do.”

He
stared at me from behind his glasses, not saying anything for a moment. I
wished I could see his eyes.

“I
hope you do know, Rachel. For your sake, I hope you do.” He stood. “Let’s get
going.”

I
followed behind him and got in the passenger seat. My head hurt, and I squeezed
my eyes shut and rested my head against the window. He didn’t speak the whole
way, and only the radio provided any kind of noise. At one stage the announcer
said the date, and I worked out that he’d had me for three weeks. Only three
weeks but it felt like eternity.

I
opened my eyes as we drove into a small town. It was weird seeing cars and
people around as people went about their normal, daily business. He pulled the
car to a stop in a small side street and opened his door. “Get out.”

I
did and watched as he pulled a bag,
my
bag, out of the back. He pushed
it into my hands. “Your phone’s in there, but the battery’s dead.” He reached
into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, extracting a wad of cash.

“Here,”
he offered the money to me and I took it. “That’ll be enough to get a ticket to
your town. The bus leaves in about twenty minutes. Just walk to the end of the
street, turn left and you’ll see it.”

I
shoved the money in my jeans pocket and then held my bag securely to my chest
with both hands.

“You
better get going.”

I
watched him as he headed back to the driver’s side of the car and opened the
door. He didn’t look at me as he got in the car, and soon after the engine
started. That was my wake up call, and I gripped my bag and started to walk
toward where he’d told me. I heard the car drive off behind me.

That’s
when it hit me. He was gone. Just like that. My legs kept walking, but
everything felt surreal. When the lady behind the counter asked me where I
wanted to go, I had to say the name three times before it made its way out of
my mouth coherently, and then she had to prompt me to hand the cash over. As I
walked away I heard her tsk to her co-worker about young people and drugs. Part
of me wanted to turn back to her and set her straight, but I didn’t. It didn’t
matter.

Aaron’s
money more than covered the ticket price, and I bought a soda to soothe my
parched mouth, hoping the caffeine would give me enough of a burst to think
clearly. I took a window seat and spent the entire three-hour ride staring out
at the world passing by and trying not to think about anything. A few people
sat beside me, and one tried conversation but soon gave up at my monotone one-word
answers and refusal to meet her eyes.

When
we finally pulled into my town, nothing had changed. I stood there for a moment,
and people walked around me. I had no idea where to go or what to do now. But I
started walking, and my feet took me to Finn’s house. As I passed Mara’s
mother’s house, it looked deserted, and a For Sale sign stood in the front
yard. I swallowed and kept walking past it.

No
one was home at Finn’s house, so I just sat on the front steps and waited. He
turned up at dusk just when I was getting cold. He was busy staring at his
phone and laughing at something when he pulled his truck into the driveway. He
was still laughing as he rounded the truck and headed for the front door. When
he saw me, the laugh dropped from his lips.

“Holy
shit, Paige. Where have you been?” He collapsed down beside me and pulled me
into his arms. “I mean, I know where you’ve been, but why haven’t you called or
anything?”

“You
know where I’ve been?” I asked numbly.

He
pulled back. “Sure. Your Mom said your grandfather had died, and you were
keeping your grandmother company. Honestly, your Mom only told us that when
Merida got worried and told her she was going to the police. I know why you
think she’s such a bitch now.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. “Come on,
I’m starving.”

I
sat at the kitchen counter while he made us turkey sandwiches and filled me in
on all the gossip. I barely responded to him; I didn’t have to as he whirled
around the kitchen piling our plates high and talking about shit that I didn’t
care about.

“What’s
with the bag?” he asked with a mouthful of food. “You wanna crash here? My Mom’s
gone to Vegas with her new boyfriend.”

I
smiled my thanks and ate my food slowly. We spent the evening watching TV and
before bed he disappeared into the bathroom to shower. I grabbed one of his
t-shirts out of his drawers and pulled it over me to sleep in. His phone buzzed,
and I walked over to his bed on which it lay and picked it up.

Melody’s
name flashed across the screen. I read her texts, or sexts might be the better
word. I was still looking at them when Finn walked in with a towel around his
waist. He peered over my shoulder to see what I was looking at.

He
sighed and took the phone from me. “I’m sorry, Paige. I am.”

“Are
you going out with her now?”

He
sat down on the bed with his head hanging down. “Yeah. I guess I am. I was mad
at you for not contacting me, and we used to always fight anyway…”

I
sat beside him and took his hand, squeezing it. He looked at me in surprise.
“You were sleeping with her behind my back weren’t you?”

“Yeah,
I was. Fuck. You must hate me now.”

I
squeezed his hand again. “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. We’re still friends,
right?”

He
sighed in relief, a big smile on his face. “Of course we are. You’re the
coolest girl I know. I can’t believe you’re being so okay with this. I feel
like an asshole.”

I
shook my head at him. “It doesn’t matter. I had some…stuff happen that put
things into perspective.”

He
looked at me with concern. “You want to talk about it?”

I
shook my head. “No. Can you just hold me for a little bit.”

He
pulled me down with him onto the bed and held me as I cried. I knew he was a
little freaked but to his credit, he didn’t let me go until I fell asleep.

The
next morning, I learned, was a Saturday. I headed to my mother’s house, not
even sure what I was going to say. Her door was unlocked, and I walked right
in. She sat at her computer and looked up in surprise as I walked into the
kitchen.

“Where
the hell have you been?”

I
narrowed my eyes at her as I sat in the chair opposite. “I’ll give you three
fucking guesses,
Mom
. One, I’ve been the guest of a certain prison pen pal
of yours. Two, I’ve been fucked, degraded and humiliated in every way possible.
Three–“

“Stop.
Just stop. Please.” She shoved her chair back and headed to the cupboard,
pulling out a bottle of bourbon. She poured some into two glasses before
returning to the table and pushing one in front of me. I downed mine, welcoming
the burn, and she did the same.

Her
forehead wrinkled. “What happened?” she asked nervously.

“They
grabbed me off the street the day after you kicked me out. He fucking hated me
and made sure I knew it. But don’t worry, no one’s coming after you. I made
sure of that.”

She
clutched her glass with white knuckles. “I thought we could still get some
money out of him without putting you at risk. Fuck. I’m sorry. I just hated to
think of all that time we wasted on him for nothing.”

I
got up and poured another drink for us and spent the rest of the morning filling
her in on what had happened. I didn’t tell her everything though. At the end of
it, her face was white, and she clutched my hand.

“Move
back in. I’m sorry I kicked you out. I told the school you were on bereavement
leave so I think they’ll be good at about it.” She was genuine; I could tell,
and I nodded in agreement.

My
boss yelled at me for the second time that day. This was becoming a habit in
the month that I’d been home. Merida had sweet talked him into giving me my job
back after my disappearance, but I was still in his bad books. It wasn’t just
his temperament though; it was me. I was a lot jumpier than I used to be,
spilling and breaking things. Before I wouldn’t have cared about that kind of
thing, I would have just rolled my eyes at him or talked back. But now all I
could do was mutter “sorry” and carry on. Secretly, I thought the asshole liked
me being more compliant like this than before.

I
swept up the broken plate, and Merida whispered at my shoulder, “Don’t look
now.”

Finn
and Melody came in, hand in hand. They always seemed to come in during my shift,
and I knew that was Melody’s doing. She just wanted to rub it in my face. Finn
on the other hand, in all his naivety, thought that I was fine with seeing them
together since we were friends, and I was cool and blah, blah, blah. He was
sweet, that boy, just not that bright.

He
waved enthusiastically at me like there was any way I could miss him because
they were sitting right in my section. I waved back before putting the broom
and dust pan away. I forced a smile and walked over to them.

“Hey,
guys,” I said brightly.

“Hi,
Paige,” Melody said tightly.

“Hey,
babe, how’s it going?” Finn said with the cheeriness of someone who was getting
lots of sex on a regular basis; which he was now that he wasn’t with me. He
didn’t hug me hello, which had become his habit since my bout of crying on my
first night back, and I guessed Melody had read him the riot act on that. I
couldn’t see them lasting; Finn didn’t like being told what to do.

Finn
ordered a sundae, and Melody a diet coke. I managed to get their orders to them
without breaking anything as I had last week. I’d really wanted to smack that
smug look off that bitch’s face when she laughed, but I was on thin ice with my
job as it was. I needed to keep working and having some kind of money, even if
it was a pittance. All was good between Mom and me for the first week I was
back. Todd had been working on a job out of town, and his face dropped the
moment he learned I had moved back in. He only spoke to me if I spoke to him
first, which I didn’t do because my mother kept shooting untrusting looks in
our direction if she came across us together. Who knew when she’d try and kick
me out again? I stayed away from home as much as possible. A lot of that time
was spent at the library catching up on the school work that I’d missed or
going to parties that Merida dragged me too. I liked being distracted. It
stopped me thinking about things too much.

Things
like the way Melody had her tongue in Finn’s ear as I was putting a coffee down
in front of the man that sat at the table next to theirs. My eyes were so
transfixed on their actions that I didn’t notice that the table was an inch
away from where I released the coffee. It banged on the table, and the contents
spilled quickly over onto the man’s lap. He jolted to his feet, brushing
angrily at his pants.

“You
stupid, bitch!”

“I-I’m
sorry.” I offered my cloth to him, and he ripped it out of my hand and started
dabbing at where he’d been soaked.

“You
better be sorry, you stupid whore,” he sneered, throwing the cloth back at me.
I caught it and crouched down, starting to wipe at the mess on the floor. “Are
you fucking retarded or something?”

I
heard laughter, and I knew it was Melody. I felt myself flush and felt tears
prick at my eyes.

“Shut
up, asshole,” I heard Finn say from where he lounged with an arm around
Melody’s shoulder. “Give her a break, you fat prick.”

“Screw
you, kid,” the man replied, before storming past me and out the door. My eyes
followed him and then I looked at Finn and was about to thank him, when I saw
Melody sit upright.

“Oh
my god, Finn.  She’s not your girlfriend anymore. You don’t have to stand up
for her!” She got to her feet and headed out the door. Finn watched her go and
sighed, before getting to his feet to follow. But before he did, he crouched
down beside me.

“Are
you okay?” he asked.

I
nodded, grateful for his concern.

“You
sure? Because it’s not like you to cry about things.”

“I’m
just having a bad day,” I mumbled. “You should go after her.” I stood up and so
did he.

He
nodded. “Yeah, I better. Call me later if you want to talk, okay?”

“Sure.”

I
watched him go before Merida came over, armed with a mop. “Let me do this.
You’ve got a customer anyway. Don’t worry, the boss didn’t see.” She gave me a
reassuring squeeze on my arm before getting to work.

I
turned to the booth where the new customer sat with his back to me, trying to
blink away the tears. I plastered a smile on my face. “What can I get you?”

My
smile froze then dropped as my eyes rose to look at him. Aaron stared back with
those same predatory eyes.

“What
are you doing here?” I asked softly, wanting to pinch myself because I wasn’t
sure that this was even real.

“I
had some business in the area and thought I’d check in on you. Lucky I did, it
seems like you’re having a pretty crappy day.”

I
stood there, staring at him. Finally, he motioned with his head to the seat
opposite him. “Have a seat.”

I
did, without even thinking about it, and my heart beat wildly. “I kept my mouth
shut,” I said desperately.

He
reached over and took my hand. “Relax, Rachel. I knew you would. Calm down.”

I
leaned back in my seat, watching him warily. Before either of us could say
anything else, my boss came over, looking pissed off. “What are you doing,
Paige? You’ve got customers waiting.”

Aaron
looked him over before speaking. “She’s on a break. She’s allowed a break,
isn’t she?”

My
boss’s attention turned to him, ready to say something. But I guess he caught
the look on Aaron’s face, or something, because he looked unsettled. “Sure.”

Aaron
smiled, and it wasn’t a nice smile, it was more of an ‘I’ll-fucking-eat-you-up-little-boy
smile.’

“Good.
Why don’t you run along and get a couple of coffee’s then.”

And
my boss did, to my amazement. Maybe I was so used to Aaron’s ways, that I’d
forgotten the fear that he could evoke.

“You
can’t be like that to my boss. You’ll get me fired. I need this job,” I hissed
over the table to him.

He
looked around him, not looking particularly impressed. “No one needs
this
job,” he said distastefully.

“I
do,” I said, slightly affronted. “I have to look after myself. I need this
money. You don’t have to ruin everything in my life, you know.”

He
played with the menu in front of him. “Relax. I’m not ruining anything for you.
And if I wanted to, I’d leave you working in this shithole
just
to ruin
you. Nice customers you’ve got, by the way. They make you cry every day?”

I
looked him straight in the eye. “Only you do that.”

He
smirked at me and leaned forward. “I could get back at that guy for you if you
wanted me to.”

I
leaned forward as well. “Careful, your psychopathy’s showing and we’re in
public.”

His
smirk turned into a grin. “I’ll be more careful in future. Come on, let’s go.”

I
frowned. “No. Where? I mean, no. I’m working.”

“You
look like shit and you’re upset. You can’t work like that. I’ll sort out your
boss for you, wait here.”

I
watched wide-eyed as he headed to where my boss was making coffee. He flashed a
wicked grin and to my amazement my boss started looking flustered and giggled. Was
Aaron flirting with the guy? It didn’t seem possible. It was less than a minute
of conversation before he returned. “Let’s go,” he said to me.

I
stood and removed my apron as he waited before slowly moving with him to the
door. I saw Merida watching me, puzzled yet grinning, a million questions in
her eyes. Aaron had a different car this time, and I paused as he got in the
driver’s side. “Don’t worry. I won’t bite,” he called to me. I took a breath
and opened the car door.

He
drove to a motel on the outskirts of town. It was a rundown place that catered
to drunks often due to the seedy bar across the road. I followed cautiously as
he opened the door to his room. I looked around at the outdated décor, feeling
Aaron’s eyes on me.

“It’s
not the farmhouse, but it’ll do for tonight,” he said, closing the door behind
us.

I
turned to look at him. “Why are we here?”

He
shrugged and laydown on the bed, his arms folded behind his head. “I just
wanted to see how you’re doing. Sit down.”

I
perched on the edge of the bed.

Aaron
sighed. “Seriously? Get over here.”

I
crawled up to sit beside him, and he smirked. “That’s better. So, how’s your
mother?”

I
glared at him. “Are you going after her now? That’s not fair.”

“Nothing’s
ever fair, Rachel. You should know that by now. But don’t worry, it was just a
question. There’s no hidden meaning behind it.”

“Then
why are you really here?” I look down at where he lay. His arm shot out and
pulled me closer, so I was lying down as well and pressed against his body. He
started to touch my face gently, sweeping hair out of my eyes.

“I
was bored. I thought you could be a distraction for me.”

I
scowled at him. “If you want to fuck me, just say. Don’t play games.”

He
pulled me over so I lay on top of him, a look of amusement on his face. “Do you
want to fuck me, Rachel? Be honest. Our situation is far more equal here. You
don’t have to feel that you need to seduce me to stay alive.”

I
tried to pull away, but he held me firm. “It’s not quite that black and white
though, is it?” I told him.

He
let me go, and I rolled off him into a sitting position annoyed at the smile on
his face. “I guess not. But this is just between you and me. You can do what
you want. No one’s judging what you do. Hell, I’ll even kiss you since you like
it so much.”

And
with that, he sat up and placed his hand on the back of my neck pulling me
gently toward him. He kissed me slowly so I couldn’t help but kiss back. The
rest of the day was spent like that, naked in bed, fucking and sleeping. At one
stage food was brought to the door, and we only ate part of it before screwing
again. After that, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I
woke up in the morning to see Aaron coming out of the bathroom with a towel
around his waist. He started to get dressed. “You can stay in the room until
ten. I’ve got to take off.”

I
nodded silently. Fully dressed, he finished shoving his stuff into a bag.
Before he headed out the door, he turned to me. “I’ll see you ‘round Rachel.” I
didn’t answer, and he looked at me thoughtfully. “I really broke you, didn’t
I?”

And
then he was gone out the door, his last words spinning around in my head. It
was only then that I noticed what was on the pillow beside me.

A
few hundred dollar notes.

He’d
paid me like a whore. My mouth twisted as I fought against crying, but I didn’t
succeed.