“What about you?” I ask.
“What about me?”
“I know you’ve been
helping out
at Lenny’
s place
.
She to
ld me you built
a
fence in their backyard and fixed the
ir kitchen sink
.
S
ince when
are you
a repair man?
”
“
It’s just her and her mom right now
,
”
Bubba says
.
“They need a hand.”
“See, even
you have a sensitive side.”
He eyes Dylan inside, sitting with a couple of Liz’s friends
.
They’re
putting finishing touches on the
gifts
for the
dinner party
this weekend
.
They’re stuffing
white, sparkly bags with
music mixes
and chocolates and
tying
white b
ow
s
on
the top
.
“
Dylan has
surprised
me
more than anyone
,” he says.
I stare at him and ask him what he means.
“She turned herself upside down, flipped herself inside out
.
I don’t even recognize her
anymore
.
She’s like this whole different person than she was a few months ago.
”
I follow his gaze to Dylan
.
She’s sitting on the rug with the other girls and she
fits in
.
She dresses like them
.
She’s neat and groomed and accepted—and almost indistinguishable.
Bubba stands up and
stretches
.
“
Don’t get me wrong, she looks good,” he says
.
He slaps his hand against my
s
houlder
and grins
.
“It’s
just
nice to know
we’re all
idiots
wh
en it comes to
love
,” he says
,
and disappears inside the house
.
I sit on the chai
r outside and I watch Dylan. E
ven though her hair is s
tyled
and her outfit is brighter and her lips sparkle, something about her
has dimmed
.
Bubba’s right
.
She transformed
.
All for me
.
I watch her
laugh when the other girls laugh
.
She swoons at all the right times like she’s following along with a script
someone passed out
.
It’s too programmed
.
To
o
normal
.
She never wanted to be normal
.
She called it stifling
, a
nd I fell in love with her for being so extreme
.
I
stand up and
walk down the street
and
try to clear my head
.
I think about Amanda and wonder what I would do if someone tried to
narrow
her horizons
, i
f someone cut
her dreams short or controlled
her
.
I would have stepped in and forced sense into her, even if it made her mad, even if she hated me for it
.
Because I
loved her too much
to let her settle
.
T
he people that love you have the responsibility to look out for you
, t
o see your
potential
.
I
knew the
difference
Amanda
would have made
in
the
w
orld
.
I saw t
he
glow
of optimism she showered around her
that
needed to be spread out
.
Dylan’s like that
.
So, how can I
let this happen
?
A few raindrops start to fall and they’re cold against my skin
.
It gives me the chills
.
I stand in the street and look up at a black sky
.
There’s only one thing left to do
.
DYLAN
I
observe
Gray across the room
.
Even though I broke down his walls, a few beams and studs are still standing
.
There are nails sticking out of them and I snag myself on them once in a while
.
I trip over
some of t
he fallen beams
that
lay scattered on the floor
.
I still can’t figure
him
out sometimes
.
Maybe that’s why I’m so fascinated by
him
.
I never know what to expect
.
I
watch
the wedding party
unfolding
around me
,
but I feel like
a wallflower, like
I’m inside a movie set
and this is all a dress rehearsal
.
This can’t be real
.
Have I
really
hit the marriage zone
?
How
can
people get married when they’re twenty
?
And i
f this is such a joyous occasion, w
hy do I feel sorry for them
?
I
t’s
strange
to think
that
I’m coming back to this place
.
These friends will all be waiting for me
.
I’ve never returned to
a
place I’ve lived before
.
Why go back to something known, when there’s so much waiting to be discovered
?
But all I have to do is look at Gray to
be
reassure
d why I’m doing this.
I try to be happy about this decision, b
ut there’s something in my gut that tightens
.
A little voice is questioning me because I never thought I’d put my dreams on hold
.
For anybody
.
I never thought I would change myself for another person.
I watch g
uys who are used to living in grass stains and dirty clothes all stand
ing
awkwardly in dress slacks and
button up shirts
.
I grin at
Miles
, who
succeeded in burning the
collar
of one of his dress shirts and melting two
buttons
off of another
.
I came to his rescue
before he scorched shirt number three
.
I watch
him stand next to Cat
.
They look mis
matched standing next to each other
.
Miles is so clean cut
and all-American
, while
Cat’s in a flowing, long blue cotton dress that looks hand
-
made
, a scarf tied around her hair
.
But their differences comple
ment each other
.
You can never guess who people are going to fall for
.
Love is mo
re like an accident than a plan
.
It’s more of a question than an answer
.
I turn and see Lenny standing with a frown on her face
.
She’s wearing a black dress that she keeps
pulling and
yanking
down
.
She stands awkwardly in her black heels, like she’s wishing they
were
boots
.
The only
time her face relaxes into a smile is
when Bubba’s
at
her side
, which is most of the time
.