“A minute,” I said sharply as I stared into his piercing green eyes.
“When John tried to hire me for this extra job, I knew he was basically blackmailing me. If I didn’t comply, or at least tell him I would, he wouldn’t help me find Emmy. I would do anything for that little girl… just to brush those blond ringlets from her face or hold her hand while we go get an ice cream… You have a daughter, you know what I am saying here,” Tanner said, his face melting and my heart sinking.
“I know… But how could you say you’d do it? What kind of man does that make you?”
“I said I would do it because John promised he had connections that would find her. As the months wore on and he got sicker, Parker stopped answering my calls. Then, when John died, he called and said the plan was on. He said that he had a file on his desk with information about Emmy. He said that as soon as I left you standing at the altar, John instructed him to give me the file and the money…”
I felt like my legs were turning to Jello. Here it hadn’t even been two weeks since John died and another man was already screwing up my life, my heart.
“Shannon, when I saw you in the kitchen, wine all over you dancing around, I realized that John was the jerk. When I talked to you, danced with you, threw my body over yours, I knew that you were a good person. I knew I had to tell you. I couldn’t hurt you like that, even if it means I don’t find my daughter as quickly. I have integrity, and that can’t be bought…”
The response I felt in my gut stunned me.
“I cannot keep you from seeing your baby, Tanner. If it means that I have to pretend to fall in love with you and pretend to get jilted at the altar in front of everyone I know, I will do it… for you… to see your daughter,” I said looking up at him.
“Shannon, I would never dream of doing that. I don’t want the money. Don’t you understand? It was never about that. It was about Emmy. But then I met you, and I can’t hurt you either. I care about you…” He stepped forward and tipped by chin up with his index finger. I didn’t pull away or move back.
Slowly, he leaned down without diverting his eyes. His lips pressed into mine, and I felt a shiver up my spine. His lips were soft and moist and divine. He moaned slightly as he reached his hand around to hold the base of my head. The other hand made its way to the small of my back.
Sensations wracked my body in ways that I hadn’t ever felt before. This man wanted me. He had been honest with me. He was protecting me. I reached up and put my arms around his neck pulling him closer into me, running my fingers through his thick hair.
He kissed down my neck and around behind my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my neck and I arched my neck back from the electricity I felt. I wanted more of those lips and turned my head to meet them.
His kiss was more wanting and desperate this time. Our tongues met as we kissed deeper and deeper. It was as if we were trying to move right through each other. I started stepping backward pulling him with me down onto the sofa.
On top of me, Tanner was running his hands up and down my sides as I played with his hair. The sensuality of the moment overwhelmed me, captivated me, scared me.
“Tanner… Tanner…. Wait… I can’t,” I said pushing him back as I sat up and covered my mouth.
“What’s wrong?” Tanner sat up and rubbed his hand on my cheek.
“This isn’t right. I can’t do this again…” Tears pouring down my cheeks, I jumped up, grabbed my purse and ran out into the rain that had started after the storm. I ran as fast as I could to the front of the house. Fumbling with my keys, I started trying to unlock my SUV. I just had to get out of there before I did anything I regretted. Like falling in love.
“Shannon! Shannon, wait!” Tanner was running behind me. I could see him in the rear view mirror as I bolted from the farm. From his life. From my fear.
Chapter 14
“Girl, you look like a wet dog… What in the world happened? Come in…” Denise said as she answered her door that night.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I muttered as I walked into her foyer drenched in raindrops and tears.
“You ALWAYS want to talk about,” she said giggling a bit.
She was right. My sister knew me well, and she knew I would eventually spill the beans about whatever was bothering me. She poured me a glass of red wine, which made me think about Tanner even more.
The two hour drive to her house gave me a lot of time to think. About Tanner. About that kiss that just about curled my toenails.
I spent 45 minutes telling Denise everything. About the tornado. About Tanner throwing his body on mine in the basement… and then again in his living room. About John’s plan and the letter and Emmy. Spilled the beans on everything.
“Wow, that is quite a story. You really know how attract drama, Shan,” Denise said with a smile.
“I am so over drama, Denise. I thought my drama died with John,” I said rolling my eyes.
“Love is dramatic,” Denise commented offhand.
“Love? What’s love got to do with it?”
“Well, Tina Turner, I think you might be falling in love…”
“I’ve only known him a couple of days,” I said in an irritated tone.
“People fall in love like that, Shannon. With Dan, I fell almost immediately from across the room. You know that. We only dated for two months and got married. It happens!”
“Well, it isn’t happening to me. I won’t let myself…”
“Let yourself what, Shannon? Be happy?” Denise put her hand over mine on the table. “Don’t seal yourself off, dear sister.”
“That’s what Tanner says. He wants to know why I am putting myself in a prison that John created…”
“I am liking this Tanner fellow more and more,” she winked.
“You would like him, actually. He’s kind and sweet and gentle…” I trailed off placing myself right back in his arms, at least in my mind.
“Then why are you being so stubborn?” Denise chided as she let out a belly laugh.
“My husband JUST died, Denise!”
“Your husband was dead to you long ago, Shannon, and you know it. You aren’t doing anything wrong. Get on with living your life, whatever that entails. If Tanner is in it, great. Just make good choices. Don’t pick another jerk who will steal years of your life,” Denise said softly.
“I know you’re right. It’s just so hard to trust anyone with my heart…”
With that, we decided to go to bed. It had been a very long day for me. I would figure out what to do in the morning.
Chapter 15
Morning came and went in Atlanta, but I slept right through it. Just before 11am, I finally dragged myself out of Denise’s guest bed and took a look at myself in the mirror. With just my jeans and a t-shirt, I looked horrible. I missed Tanner.
What are you thinking? You just met him
, I thought to myself.
After splashing some water on my face, I went downstairs to find Denise sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.
“Well, good morning, sleepy head,” she said smiling.
“Sorry I slept so late. I didn’t mess up your day, did I?”
“Nah… Dan is at work and I took the day off. So what are your plans for the day?” she asked with a knowing grin on her face.
“Well, I am not quite sure. For one thing, I have no clothes. They are all back at the house… and probably destroyed or hanging in a tree somewhere. Do you think I could borrow an outfit or two?” I asked.
“Sure, you know my closet is your closet… Let’s go find some stuff.”
After shopping in Denise’s closet for an hour, I found 3 outfits that I would take back with me to the farm. I said my goodbyes and got into my car to make the long trek back to the farm in the hopes that Tanner would still let me stay there.
I could have stayed with Denise, but she had her own life and I didn’t want to disrupt it. I also had unfinished business at that farm and its name was Tanner.
As I drove the two hours back to the house, I ran through everything in my mind over and over. My marriage. John’s death. The job they asked Tanner to do. He could have continued lying to me. He didn’t owe me anything. He could have accepted the money and found his daughter.
Oh. God. His daughter. Emmy.
How could I help him get her back? I shifted into solution mode as I thought about how I could possibly get that file from Parker’s office. My mind raced as I considered all of the ways that I could sneak in without getting caught. If I could just get that file, maybe Tanner would have a chance at getting his daughter back.
I drove up the gravel driveway slowly looking at the home that had been ravaged by the tornado. A blue tarp covered the roof and repair men were already there working on it. I parked and took my purse and extra clothes from the SUV, making my way down the walkway to the guest house.
I could see Tanner’s truck still parked where it was the night before. Before I could knock, the door swung open. Tanner was standing there with no shirt. His muscular build was a thing to behold. Chiseled biceps, six pack abs and a luscious tan from working outdoors.
“Shannon!” he yelled, immediately sweeping me into his arms and hugging me tightly. He buried his head into my neck and kissed me sweetly. I could feel his heartbeat quickening and his breath catching.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he pulled back from me and put a hand on each of my cheeks. He was obviously concerned. “I am so sorry I pushed you too far. I got carried away,” he apologized.
“No, no, no… You didn’t do anything wrong…” I started to say as he took my hand and pulled me inside the guest house, shutting the door behind us.
We sat down on the sofa and I held one of his hands.
“Tanner, I am so sorry if you were worried about me,” I said.
“Worried about you? I was frantic. Do you realize I had no way to know where you went? If you made it there okay in the heavy rain? If you were ever coming back?” he asked.
For a moment, I was awestruck. Here is a man who cared if I was driving safely in the rain. I had never experienced that before. I cocked my head and looked at him.
“What? Why are you looking at me that way?” Tanner asked with a quirk of a smile.
“Because no man has ever worried about my safety… my well being… It’s nice,” I whispered.
“If you will let me, I will worry about you for the rest of…” he stopped himself. I wanted to hear the end of the sentence, but it was obvious he was trying to avoid scaring me all over again.
“Can I ask a favor of you?” I changed the subject.
“Sure, anything.”
“Will you take me to see the horses?”
“I thought you were too afraid,” Tanner said.
“I am. But it is time to start facing my fears. I need to take back my power,” I said smiling. I had renewed energy to create a new, better life for myself.
“Well, then, Miss Courageous, let’s go,” Tanner said pointing toward the front door. He smelled so good as I moved past him. His cologne lingered in the air, and I closed my eyes to take it in.
We walked a short distance to the big red horse barn. There were two horses there, one white and one brown. They were beautiful animals, but I had harbored a fear of horses since I was small.
“So, why are you so scared of horses anyway, Shannon?” Tanner asked as he walked a few feet ahead to stroke the face of the brown horse.
“My Dad forced me to take a lesson once when I was about eight years old. This kid in front of me was kind of overweight, and he slipped off the horse right in front of me during a jump. It terrified me even though he was okay…” I smiled.