Naturally I miss the shot. I can't seem to stop thinking about what he said to me. He thinks of me as 'his' and maybe that should bother me, but instead it brings a warm, tingling sensation to my whole body.
Brynn returns and I grab my drink from the nearby table. I'm feeling a little overheated. I sneak a glance toward where Lexi had been perched, and she is still watching like a hawk. She's getting a good show now, and I can't help but smile. Maybe Brynn is right and I just need to show Lexi that she can't rattle me, even though in truth, she definitely has.
Chase and I narrowly win the game and have to get the next round of drinks. We make sure to stay to one end of the bar far away from where Lexi is feigning interest in the man beside her, all the while keeping her eyes locked on Chase.
“You're not half bad,” Chase says to me, referring to our game of pool.
I chuckle. “I'm terrible, Chase! You totally carried me. I think I got one ball in? You don't have to be nice. I can handle the bitter truth,” I tell him and bite my bottom lip when I realize what I've said. I'm getting confused. Am I supposed to be upset with Chase or am I supposed to be flirting with him? I think I am weaving back and forth between the two. We carry the drinks over to the table where Brynn and Griff are waiting.
“Where's Max?” I ask, noticing that he isn't subjecting us to his PDA anymore.
“He's out dancing,” Brynn replies.
“How about Parker?” Griff asks, glancing around. “I haven't seen him since we first got here.”
I shrug. I haven't seen him either, but I've been pretty preoccupied. I feel Brynn elbow me in the ribs and I grimace and look at her with a scowl. Then I recognize the song playing, Eminem's 'Love The Way You Lie,' the one I had her ask for and I inadvertently glance over at Chase. He has seen her nudge me.
“
I love the way you lie; I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can .
. .”
He closes his eyes and hangs his head a bit. Guilt washes over me. Am I still upset with him? Why had I agreed to come here tonight? I glance over and Lexi is still watching us. I guess if I hadn't come, I may have given her the chance to be in his face without me. Brynn must sense my mood and drags me out onto the dance floor as the song begins.
“You're doing awesome, Haylee.” She practically shouts as we dance. It's so much louder over here. “I know it's hard, but Lexi is starting to look downright frustrated!” I look over at Lexi then, and she is looking at where Chase and Griff stand. Brynn and I let go for a little while and just let our bodies move to the music. This kind of dancing I don't mind. It's so free and expressive, not all stuffy and controlled like at Madmae Eileen's. Brynn and I are a hit; we are surrounded by guys trying to move in and be the next to dance behind us. I just close my eyes and listen to the beat, wanting to forget everything for a few minutes.
The song changes once again, and Brynn is locked onto some guy who'd been dancing with her. I suddenly feel warm hands on either side of my waist. I gasp and steal a glance over my shoulder. Relief washes over me quickly followed by heat as Chase pulls me back against the front of his body, leaving me facing away from him, and begins to move with me. I lift my arms up over my head and tuck them back behind his neck. I hear what sounds like a growl coming from his throat. He lets his hands travel down over my hips and back up again, just barely grazing the sides of my breasts.
He leans his head down beside me and whispers, “This one is also for you,” The music begins and softly he sings the words in my ear again. The song is 'I Will Wait' by Mumford and Sons:
“Well, I come home, like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of darkness, which we've known
Will blow away with this new sun
But I kneel down; wait for now
And I'll kneel down; know my ground
And I will wait; I will wait for you. . .
”
I close my eyes and listen to him telling me that he will wait for me no matter how long it takes. I turn around in his arms so that I'm facing him, and he pulls me close as we continue to move.
“What are you up to, Hayles?” he asks softly, his lips brushing along my ear. “Why did you want to come tonight? What's with all the songs sending me the message that you're still upset, but at the same time your body is telling me that you still want me?”
I sigh. Chase isn't stupid, and I had known he might be confused when Brynn was telling me about her plan earlier in the evening. He has played his part now for Lexi, so I feel like I should tell him the truth. I don't want to lie to him when I'm asking him not to lie to me. Now is a good time to talk to him. We are essentially alone in a sea of swaying bodies and Lexi won't be able to hear any of it.
“Brynn had the idea that we should all go out because she suspected that Lexi was watching us. If she showed up, that would pretty much confirm it, and Brynn wanted me to be sure and show Lexi that we are still okay, that her stunts haven't worked,” I start. I feel so terrible telling him all of this. I feel like he should have just been in on it from the beginning. “Sure enough, Lexi appears at the very place we're at! I'm sorry that we didn't tell you.”
I realize that we are moving very slowly to fast-paced music as people are bumping and grinding all around us. Chase tilts his head to the side and looks suspiciously at me. “So, this,” he motions with his hand that is still holding mine, between us, “has all been an act?”
“Yes. . .no. . . I. . .” How do I put this into words that aren't going to hurt him any more than he already is? “It started out that way, but Chase, I thought Brynn had lost her mind and I did not want to be out tonight, but some of the things you've said and done. . . “
“I can't believe this, Haylee,” he says, his voice angry now, and my heart sinks. “I'll admit I was surprised that you agreed to come out after all we'd been through, and I was confused by the way you were acting. It seemed like everthing was just suddenly okay, even though we hadn't had a chance to talk again and you were kissing me and flirting with me, but that was all a show for
Lexi
? None of that was real?”
I squeeze my eyes closed for a moment. “No. . .” he steps back away from me and my body feels the loss. “I mean YES!” I try to correct. Some of it had been real after all. I may have tried to deny that to myself out of hurt, but I still love Chase and want desperately to be with him.
“Don't you realize that Lexi means nothing to me?!” he shouts, and I cringe because I've never seen Chase this angry with me before. We hardly even argued as kids. “I couldn't care less where she shows up as long as she stays away from you and away from us. You didn't need to go through all the trouble because she's not even worth it. You are the only one that has ever held my heart, but you still don't believe the things I told you this morning about what really happened, do you?” His face is full of hurt, doubt, and disbelief, and I'm crying now.
I watch in surprise as he turns away from me. “I do,” I cry as I reach for his arm, but he's already swallowed by the crowd. “I do believe you,” I say quietly then, because I know that he can't hear me. Coming here has forced me to see that Chase is still the same boy that I remember, and I trusted him completely back then and I know now that I can once again. There's no doubt in my mind that Lexi has orchestrated everything out of jealousy. Now I need to find Chase and let him know how sorry I am and that tonight has opened my eyes to the truth.
I walk away from Haylee in a daze. I can't believe that tonight has been nothing but an act. All night I've thought we are connecting again and that she finally believes that I had nothing to do with Lexi kissing me or the coke she must have stashed in my truck. I was so happy to know that we had gotten past that obstacle and that we would be stronger as a result. I feel like a complete fool.
There is still so much that I have to tell her and I don't know if she will ever want to hear it now. She has made it clear with the songs she's played for me and her confession on the dance floor that she isn't ready to move forward yet. What if she never is? What if Lexi had ruined things for me and Haylee for good? I can't stand that thought. I can't even imagine my life without Haylee in it now. I'm going to have to cool down and just keeping trying. Maybe tonight has been an epic fail, but there is always tomorrow. I can't let her go like this.
I make it back over to the table and find Griff is the only one here. I flag down the waitress and order two shots.
“What happened?” Griff asks carefully.
“It was all a lie,” I mumble and sit down on one of the stools. “This whole night was a lie.”
“What do you mean by that?” he asks me as my shots arrive. Griff's driving tonight, so I knock them back one after another.
“Haylee's been playing me for a fool all night.” The shots are warm and immediately numbing. “She only came out tonight to put on a show for Lexi. Everything that I thought was strange. . .there was a good reason for that. I thought she believed what I told her this morning, but it was never about that. Nothing was
real
!” I slam my fist down on the table and the glasses clank together loudly.
Griff drops his head down onto his forearms and rolls his head from side to side. “I'm sorry, man. I never thought of it that way.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You knew?”
“It's not as bad as you're thinking,” he starts and my brain is swimming in anger now. Griff had been in on this too! Un-fucking-believable! “Brynn just thought it would give Haylee something positive to do tonight if we all went out and showed Lexi that she couldn't mess with you two. There was never malicious intent, man. We never meant to hurt you. And in all honesty, I think she stopped acting and was really feeling what you were seeing. Brynn and I were actually talking about it. Haylee was feeling terrible about the songs she chose and she had wanted to let you in on the plan from the beginning. It's clear that she still loves you. She'll come around.”
I have to admit I feel slightly better after hearing this, but I still can't believe my Haylee has done something like this. I sigh. It reminds me an awful lot of the pranks she and I would play on people. I always came up with the ridiculous ideas and she always went along with them. I guess she has learned this from me, so I need to back off some.
“I also think she knows that you're telling the truth about it all, and she just needed some time to cool off and process everything,” Griff replies, and suddenly Brynn and Max swoop in, sweaty from dancing.
“Anybody seen Parker yet?” Griff asks, glancing around again.
“Actually, yeah. I saw him briefly near the edge of the dance floor a few songs ago. It looked like he was talking to Haylee,” Max replies as he tips his beer back.
Great, Haylee and I get into a fight and
Parker
swoops in. That's just what I didn't need.
“Where's Haylee?” Brynn asks looking right at me.
“Haylee told Chase what was going on,” Griff informs her.
“It was completely unnecessary, Brynn,” I tell her, holding my hand up for the waitress again. I'm still feeling far too much. “Lexi means nothing to me and I don't give a shit where she is as long as she leaves us alone. You didn't have to put Haylee up to all that. Haylee is the one that I love and what you guys did. . .”
The waitress returns with another drink for each of us, and I decide to just drop it.
“Where is Haylee then?” Brynn asks again, looking back at the dance floor. It is strange that she isn't with Brynn at the very least. I was upset when I walked away from her, but I hadn't meant to just leave her alone out there.
“Max said he saw her on the dance floor with Parker,” Griff replies and I cringe. I don't even like thinking about them dancing together. Is she going to try and make me jealous now?
“I'll go look around,” I reply as I swallow the rest of my drink and walk back toward the dance floor. I need to talk to her anyway.
I'm about to step away from the frenzy of bodies around me to go in search of Chase when someone comes up behind me and wraps their arms fully around my waist. At first I think it's Chase coming back. Well, I guess I hope it is, but as I turn my head slightly, the smell of alcohol and smoke assaults my nose. I wrinkle my face at Parker behind me.
“Hey there, Haylee,” he practically slurs. I spin around and look at him as he still keeps his arms around me. His eyes are heavy-lidded and glassy. He reeks of smoke, and he looks awful.
“Parker, are you stoned?” I ask him, irritated, squinting my eyes up at him and wishing he'd get his hands off of me. He holds up his thumb and first finger close together to indicate 'just a little' and I shake my head. Try '
just a lot!'
I think to myself.
“I've told you before,” I say firmly as I tug backward out of his grasp. “I don't want to be around you when you're high!”
“Just one dance,” he pleads as he grabs my arm to keep me from walking away like he knows I'm about to. I don't even have a chance to say no when he pulls me up against him and begins moving slowly to the fast beat pounding around us. His clothes and hair smell even worse up close and I just want to get away from him. I don't understand the allure of drugs and ending up like this. Yeah, I drink sometimes, but it just isn't the same thing to me.
“So, you and Chase having another lovers' quarrel?” he asks too closely to my ear for my comfort. Has he been watching us? I try to pull away, but his arms are like a vise grip around me. “I just don't get it; I don't get what you see in him. You and Chase, you just don't belong together. All you do is argue and hurt each other. He leaves without a word for years, he comes back, and you just run right back into his arms. Then he leaves again, brings a chick back with him, and you catch him kissing her, and yet you're
still
hung up on him. I just don't get it.”
“It's not like that at all, Parker! We can talk about it sometime when you're not stoned. I'm going back to the table,” I say, pushing off from his chest and ducking beneath his arm in order to extract myself from his grasp. I'm pissed off that he even said that crap to me! I'd have liked to slap him across the face, but I doubt he would have even felt it in his condition. For all I know, Chase could have taken off by now, and I need to find him.
“Stop walking away from me, Haylee,” Parker's voice is right beside me again as he grabs my upper arm and tugs me roughly off the dance floor and into the hallway where the restrooms are located.
“Parker! What the hell do you think you're doing?” I shout at him as he aggressively pushes my body up against a wall in the dimly lit hallway with his own body. “Get the hell away from me!” There are only a few people in the hallway at the time, and even though a few of them turn to look at us, no one says anything. They probably see spats like this between guys and girls at these places all the time. My tone and words don't even phase them.
“Stop fighting it, Haylee,” Parker practically whispers, his face getting closer to mine. His heated, alcohol-laced breath skates across my face. I struggle to push him away from me, but his entire body weight is up against mine. I've never seen him like this before. I would guess that he is possessed or something. I reach my hands up and push firmly against his chest, but he doesn't so much as budge.
“Parker!” I shout right in face, hoping to get past his drugged out haze. “LET ME GO!”
He just smiles at me. Why the hell is he smiling?! He wrestles my hands away from his chest while keeping me pinned with his hips. I squirm and try to kick, but he gets my hands behind my back and holds onto them with just one of his hands. I feel one of his legs drive in between mine and my blood suddenly runs cold. My heart is like a jackhammer inside my chest. This isn't the Parker I know.
My eyes are wide with horror as he leans in and puts his mouth on mine. I'm screaming and trying to push him away, but he's just swallowing my screams. I am officially terrified now. He isn't in control of himself anymore, and I don't know how to get the real Parker's attention. No one knows where I am, and I feel completely helpless. His mouth tastes like the smoke I smell on his hair and clothes, and I'm gagging in revulsion. Somehow I think this just spurs him on.
I have no idea what to do. I never thought a friend would do this to me. I trusted Parker, and he's taking advantage of that. Tears begin to slide down my cheeks.
He finally stops kissing me, and I'm panting from all the screaming and struggling. His face is right beside mine as he whispers, “I'll gag you if you scream again.” With one hand still holding my wrists behind me and his other hand on my bicep, he begins to pull me farther down the hallway.
“NO!” I scream, not even thinking about what he told me. I'm dragging my feet, but these heels are useless for that, sliding along the concrete floor, giving little or no resistance. I'm pulling against him, trying to break free and make a run for it. The hall is darker the further we go and we reach a doorway that he kicks open so that he won't have to let go of me with either hand. I do not want to be inside a room with a door! My adrenaline level hits a new high and my struggles become harder for him to manage. I can see on his face that he is having difficulty now.
“Parker, NO!” I say through gritted teeth when we are almost through the doorway. I think about trying to kick him, but I can't get the thought out of my head that this is Parker, my friend, who will wake up tomorrow morning and wonder why he remembers me kicking him. I know it's irrational, but it's there in my head anyway.
I try my damndest, but we are now inside the dark room, and he has kicked the door closed behind him. This can't be happening. I'm starting to hyperventilate, and that isn't going to help me at all. I look around quickly in the dark trying to figure out where we even are. It looks like some sort of barely-used storage room of some kind. There are a few boxes in view and a folding chair, but that's all I can see.
“Parker, it's me, Haylee. Why are you doing this?” I gasp out as he struggles with something behind me while still holding my wrists together. Maybe I can get him to talk to me while I try in vain to get my breathing to settle down.
“Because it's you, Haylee,” he says with a low chuckle.
When he is standing in front of me again I try to reason with him. “You don't want to do this,” I stammer, but the look in his eyes says otherwise. I do the first thing that comes to my mind and I spit in his face. I am scared to death, and without even thinking about his warnings, I let out an ear-piercing scream.
This just makes him even angrier. Before it registers in my mind that he is moving, he brings his fist up into the side of my face, causing me to drop backward so hard that I land with a grunt on my backside. He's on top of me before I even have the thought to stand up and make a run for it. His weight is now pressing me against the cold cement floor, and he's kissing me again. There are tears streaming from my eyes. This is bad. What have I ever done to him?
“You never even gave me a chance, Haylee,” he hisses between nasty, wet kisses all along my face and neck. He traps my arms together above my head with one of his hands and I feel his other hand traveling down the length of my torso and onto my thigh. I whimper in protest, but he pays no attention. I hate this skirt. Why did I let Brynn talk me into this? “You always told me that you weren't interested in a relationship, but that was nothing but lies!”
“No,” I try to tell him but his mouth is covering mine again. I'm sobbing now, so heavily that my chest is lifting him up with each staccato breath.
I feel his fingertip tracing firmly along my leg and onto my inner thigh. I cringe. This can't be happening to me! Not with Parker! I buck my hips upward and bring my knee up into his groin. He groans slightly, but I wasn't able to get much momentum so it was a weak blow. His hand leaves my thigh though and is now around my throat. ”Stop fighting me,” he says through clenched teeth. My eyes go wide as my airflow begins to restrict. What the hell is he thinking?
“Parker. . .please. . .don't. . .do. . .this,” I gasp out as tears pour down my face.
“You weren't interested in a relationship, but you spread your legs for Chase as soon as he got back here,” Parker shouts at me and I am crying even harder now. “I just wasn't good enough for you.”
I'm trying to shake my head from side to side to argue with him but his hand clamped against my throat prevents that. My eyes are throbbing with pressure from the restriction of blood flow his hand is causing. What he is saying isn't the case at all, but he's obviously beyond reason. I actually find myself praying that I will just die of asphyxiation instead of having to live through what my 'friend' is about to do to me. My skirt is pushed way up on my thighs, and I hear a tear as he tries to lift up the emerald green shirt that Brynn lent me. His fingers dent my flesh, his tongue is in my mouth, his body is covering mine, and I don't want any of it. And I am powerless to stop it.
Brynn. We just got back to being friends again. Just as suddenly as that thought appears, I think of Griff. He's been my steadfast friend through it all. Now I am about to leave him too. It's pitch black now and I'm not sure how long it has been since I've been able to pull a breath into my lungs. And Chase. Oh God! I've just gotten him back and we've screwed things up so badly. He walked away from me because I treated him poorly tonight. I'll never get the chance to tell him that I
do
believe him! He walked away too soon to hear it, to hear that I'm sorry. I love him with all my heart. The tears continue, but there is no more sobbing because I am out of air and all I can think of is how much I wish I could see him just once more and tell him. My vision begins to blur as I stare at the lone chair in the room. Anything but the man on top of me.
I feel lighter all of sudden, like I'm floating, and able to take in tiny, gasping breaths. I don't realize what's going on right away. I force my eyes to blink, but can't lift my head up. Parker is no longer on top of me and his hand is finally off my throat. That's why I can breathe a little bit again, but it's still painful. I try to clear my eyes of tears, afraid that Parker has just taken a break and will be coming back for more. I hear a scuffling sound and a voice, but not Parker's voice. . .
I hear a grunt, followed by a smacking sound, and then someone is kneeling beside me again. I squeeze my eyes closed and bring my hands up over my face to shield myself from him. It's all I have the strength left to do. My whole body is shaking so powerfully it hurts.
“Haylee,” I hear a pained voice gasp. My vision is still blurred and I am confused about who is speaking now. It sounds almost like Chase. I must be dead, or dreaming.
“Chase?” I manage to cough out. I blink my eyes rapidly but can't clear the blur from them and it's dark in here anyway. Is he really here or am I imagining this in order to retain my sanity?
“It's okay now, Haylee. I've got you,” Chase's voice says, and then I really am floating. I feel his arms under my back and legs, and he's carrying me out of the dark room. Chase really is here? My head keeps lolling from side to side and I can't tell where we are. Suddenly, I feel cooler air, I'm able to take in a little bit of a deeper breath, and the light is brighter. Everything still looks kind of cloudy and hazy. I feel something rough under my bottom, and I can tell that he has set me down and propped my back up against a wall.
Chase is right in my face, and I can make him out a little more clearly. “Haylee. . .oh my God. . .Haylee. . .how did this. . .did he. . .?” his voice cracks and he drops his head into my lap as he asks.
“No,” I manage to whisper. I know he is asking if Parker actually raped me. I have no doubt that he had been about to, but Chase saved me. How did he know where I was? I am desperate to tell him that I love him, that I'm sorry, but my throat won't cooperate. This is the second chance that I had been praying for. I can feel him sobbing in my lap, and then he abruptly picks his head up and starts looking at me more closely.
His fingers touch the corner of my mouth and I wince back slightly. He closes his eyes for a moment and then when he opens them again, his fingers lift my chin to look at my throat. “Holy shit,” he hisses. “Are you okay? What hurts, Haylee? Tell me what hurts.” His reaction scares me. He's absolutely terrified for me, and I am just so thankful that he showed up when he did. How awful do I look? How badly am I injured? I'm just so bone tired that I can't tell exactly. . . my throat hurts. . .
“I'm okay now,” I rasp but the words sear my throat. It's becoming easier to breathe again. I can't tear my eyes away from Chase. He's so perfect. He scoops me up into his arms again and I realize that we must be outside behind the club. I don't know where he's taking me, but I finally feel safe in his arms and I keep nodding off or blacking out or something because I look up and things look different. I'm aware of his scent surrounding me and the steady beat of his heart beneath my ear.
I'm vaguely aware of him sliding me onto the seat of Griff's truck and buckling me in. He is beside me behind the wheel in no time. I slide down the back of the seat too exhausted to keep myself upright. My head settles on his thigh. I hear his voice talking to me and feel his fingers sliding softly through my hair as I drift in and out of consciousness. I'm shivering even though I can feel the warm air coming out of the vents. I want to say so many different things to him, but I'm too tired to make my mouth work.