Second Chances (24 page)

So, when it came time to sit down to dinner that evening, everyone should have been relaxed.  Instead, Gavin was even more tense than normal.  And the longer the day went on the worse he became until finally, after he snapped at Zoe when she didn’t pass him the butter in a timely fashion, Hannah had enough.

“That is it,” she proclaimed, grabbing her napkin off her lap, throwing it on the table, and standing abruptly.  “Can I talk to you in the study, please?” 

Instead of waiting for him to answer, Hannah stalked off.  When she reached the doorway and he had yet to move, she tapped her foot impatiently.  Gavin’s head was down.  How was it she managed to make him feel like a child?  And with a sigh he realized it was undoubtedly because he was currently acting like one.  After exhaling slowly he, too, laid his napkin on the table and headed toward the study.  He had some explaining to do.

As they walked away, Mrs. Meyers smiled into her napkin and dabbed at the corners of her mouth.  This would be interesting.  Hannah was quite his match.

Pausing in her pacing, Hannah looked up when she heard the door click shut.  Gavin had entered the room and walked to his desk.  Slowly, he sat, folded his hands on the desk and looked at her expectantly.  She hadn’t quite formulated what she wanted to say, and feared speaking before she was truly ready.  In her emotional state, she hadn’t decided the approach, she was simply an angry mama lion protecting her cubs, while trying to respect the king of the pride.

“May I sit here?” Gavin asked, with a smirk.

Any plan she was working on went right out the window at that moment.  “Of course.  Sit wherever you want.  It’s your house.”  She growled and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Is it?  It feels less and less like my house.”  He leaned back in his chair.  “You move in with your kids and completely outnumber me.  You start redecorating the place.  And now I’m getting scolded.  To top it all off, I’m paying you for this!”

Hannah’s mouth twitched.  When he put it that way, it was rather funny.  Only this was no laughing matter.  He couldn’t mistreat the girls when they did nothing wrong.  They were just little.   And she opened her mouth to tell him so, but he interrupted her again.

“I’m sorry, Hannah,” Gavin began quietly, leaning forward once more in his leather chair.  “I know I snapped at Zoe.  I know she didn’t deserve it.  I know I overreacted.  Did I miss anything?”

Hannah nodded sadly.  “Just the why.”

“What?”  Gavin asked, confused.

“Why are you acting like this?  I thought we had a nice night. I thought we had a great morning.  And despite the fact that your extravagance annoys me, I thought we had a pretty great day.  The girls colored eggs, they have quite enchanted your mother, and everyone is getting along and happy, but you!”  She walked over to the desk and sat down in her chair across from him.  “Why, Gavin?  Why are you acting like this?  Why are you ruining our night and hurting Zoe’s feelings?”

He swallowed hard thinking about it.  It was never his intention to hurt the girls.  They were precious.  They had really grown on him already…just like their mother.  He raised his eyes to the ceiling.  Clearly, everything had changed.  And his worrying wasn’t helping.  “It’s tomorrow,” he said slowly.  “I’m dreading it.”

“Tomorrow is Easter,” Hannah reminded him.  “What’s to dread?  The girls hunt for eggs in the yard.  We eat a big breakfast.  I try to convince you to join us for church.  We come home, have an amazing dinner and then relax before bed.  Am I missing something?”

Gavin liked the way she described the day.  He could see it. 
All of it.  He would even bend and go to church to make the women in his life happy.  He did a mental head slap.  Now he was thinking of Hannah as one of the women in his life.  Crap.  He shook his head to rid himself of that idea.

“I’m not missing anything?  Really?”  Hannah sounded as exasperated as she looked.

“Oh, no.  You are missing someone.  Two someones.”  He looked at Hannah, finally ready to drop this bombshell.  It was time to face her reaction.

“Well?”

Offering a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, Gavin answered.  “My sister and her girlfriend will be here.”

“Okay.  So your sister is a lesbian.  So what?”  She looked genuinely confused. 

“Her girlfriend…is my ex-wife.”  And there it was.  He had said it. 

Hannah slammed back into her chair.  They might as well have been driving a hundred miles and hour and just hit a brick wall.  Her chest would have felt the same.  Or…maybe it would have hurt less.  And her breath…might not have been wrenched from her lungs quite as quickly.  She couldn’t speak.  She could barely breathe.  It was the shock, the pressure, the sudden realization of what had happened to hurt him so much.  It wasn’t simply that his wife had an affair.  It wasn’t simply that his sister had a fling with his wife.  They were still together.  This was serious.

Poor, Gavin!  He was betrayed the worst way a person can be betrayed by the two people in the world who never should have hurt him, the two people in the world that he should have been able to count on, to trust…his wife and his own sister.  And that they were still together was a constant reminder of that betrayal.  It was all Hannah could do to stay seated.  Her first instinct was to walk around the desk, turn him to face her, and wrap her arms around him, press her whole body against his, let him know how much she cared.  She saw how stiff he looked, how grim his face.  And somehow, she wasn’t sure that was the time, nor was this the place.  Maybe tonight, when he wouldn’t feel her pity, when he would simply think she was getting more comfortable sharing a bed.  Then she could comfort him.

“So now you know.”  He said the words matter-of-factly.  There was really nothing more to say.  He couldn’t go into details.  He really didn’t know the details himself.  All he knew was that he came home from a weekend seminar where he was doing everything in his power to save his marriage, only to find his wife and sister together in his bed. 

He doubted the pain would have been lessened if it had been a man, but it might have.  He could have hit a man.  He could have pummeled a man.  He could have beat the tar off a man.  Instead, he kicked them out…his wife and sister…sent them packing.  And he took out every little last bit of aggression on the room.  The first hole was an accident out of frustration.  He punched.  The wall caved.  There was that second of satisfaction, hearing the crunch.  There was that moment when he imagined tearing the entire room apart.  He used his hands until he broke that first knuckle.  Then he went to the garage and found one of the few tools he actually owned.  The hammer had been a gag gift from India, a dig at the fact that he wasn’t handy.  He hired someone else to fix everything.  Now his sister was doing the one thing he could never do…make India happy.

The hammer did plenty of damage.  And since he had a spare room, he moved into it and left this room as a constant reminder to what happened when he let his heart get involved.  Only…the more he thought about it, the less he imagined his heart had anything to do with it.  Did he love India…ever?  After he discovered how he felt about Hannah…he could no longer be sure.  Maybe it was his pride that hurt so much.  Maybe it was just a huge wounded ego he was suffering from.  His heart, every time he looked at Hannah, was definitely intact. 

Hannah looked into his eyes.  She could see the pain, the humiliation, the hurt.  “Now I know.”  She stood and started to walk to the door, but paused.  “Just be nice.”

“To them?”  He was outraged.

“No.”  She shook her head seriously.  “To my girls.  I don’t care how you treat
them
.”  She headed to the study door and paused just before opening it.  Looking at Gavin she commented, “Don’t be one of those people for whom anyone will suffice as a target for their anger.  You are better than that.”

And with that, she went back to join the girls and his mother as they finished dinner.  Gavin hung his head.  He’s supposed to be better than that.  Ah, but if he was, she wouldn’t be here.  And if she finds out, she’ll leave.  Somehow he didn’t think he could feel any worse or be any more afraid.

The temperature on Easter Sunday couldn’t have been more perfect.  The sky was a gorgeous cloudless blue.  The grass was an incredible shade of green.  All the flowers in the beds and trees in the yard were in bloom.  It looked like it should be a picture on a post card, or an advertisement in some magazine.  It was practically Photo Shopped perfection. 

In that idyllic scene, Hannah was glowing.  The night before she had fallen asleep once more in Gavin’s arms.  And though he still seemed tense, he had been much more pleasant to be around.  He even had surprised her by apologizing to Zoe for snapping at her.  Mrs. Meyers choked on her coffee at that.  And Hannah had beamed.  That was the Gavin she knew and loved.  She swallowed hard.  It was just an expression.

The girls had on their Easter dresses and were traipsing around the yard with their baskets collecting the eggs and squealing in delight every time they found one.  It was easy to be happy in such a setting.  Yet Gavin wasn’t happy in the least. 

He had woken up with a knot in his stomach that had only grown more intense as the day had worn on.  And it was only 9am.  By dinner he’d be lucky if he could stand erect.  He just kept looking around and thinking about how badly the dinner could go, how mean India could be, how uncomfortable his sister could make people, and how snappish his mother would become if the dinner didn’t end up being the love and forgiveness fest she hoped for.

The pressure.  Clearly, before the day was done, he’d have an ulcer.  Maybe it would be a bleeding ulcer.  Maybe he would start bleeding out of his rectum and have an excuse to go to the hospital.  That would be about the only acceptable reason to not suffer through the rest of the day with his cheating ex-wife, his lesbian black sheep sister, and his over bearing mother.  Then he looked at Hannah, all happiness and sunshine, all innocent and earnest.  God, how he adored her. 

With a sigh, he accepted his fate.  He couldn’t leave her to face all this alone.  It was his fault that she stumbled into this mess.  It was his fault that India was his ex-wife.  He never should have married her to begin with.  It was his fault that his sister didn’t have her dream job.  If he hadn’t been born, then she would have had to take over the company.  He could go on and on…thinking how different life could be.

That’s when Hannah wandered over.  “You can’t change the past,” she murmured in his ear as she walked behind him. 

Even though he never would have thought it possible, his mouth formed an involuntary smile.  “Come here,” he insisted, reaching for her hand.  He pulled her toward him until she stumbled onto his lap.

Hannah let out a squeak and started to protest, but Gavin whispered in her ear.  “We’re supposed to be together, remember?”

Uttering a groan, Hannah remarked, “You are insufferable.”  She leaned back and smiled at him.  “But I’m glad you are feeling better.”

“Thank you for that,” he said sincerely.  And then while staring into her eyes, he kissed her hand.  She didn’t protest, so he grew more daring.  Slowly, pausing to see how far she’d let him take it, he kissed his way up her arm, right to the sweet spot in her neck where he had been longing to bury his face and inhale the sweet fresh scent of her.  He could stay there forever.  At the moment, it seemed like she might even let him.

Hannah couldn’t think.  She could barely breathe.  It was too much.  She was acutely aware of the slight stubble of his face against her skin, the scent of his cologne…all man that made her think sexy thoughts…with him.  Her eyes widened suddenly at that realization.  It had been so long.  And she couldn’t remember the last time a man had truly aroused her interest in sex.  High school…but those were boys.  College…still boys.  Then Brett.  And he ruined it.  She had to wonder where he had been and if there was a chance she could be getting some disease.  That really took the fun out of it.  Some day she wanted someone who would be true to her, who would think she was enough, maybe even more than enough.  And they would have an amazing sex life.  But for now…Gavin was certainly sparking a fire that hadn’t burned for so long.

Then…the inevitable happened.  India and Bitty arrived…with a bottle of wine.  It was going to take more than that to appease his hostess.  When the door bell rang, Hannah had taken a deep breath, grabbed his face, and planted a kiss on his lips.  “We’ve got this,” she said with an assurance he wanted to believe.  Then he opened the door.